Normal is Boring

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
F/M
M/M
G
Normal is Boring
Summary
Vernon Dursley doesn't even consider keeping the boy left on his doorstep, no matter what his wife says. Complaining to his coworkers, one decides to help the man to figure out where the boy can go. In doing so, they find out that the Boy-Who-Lived has a more interesting background than they originally thought. Dursley doesn't care, as long as the freak leaves his home.
Note
This is my firs time posting here. I hope you like it.
All Chapters Forward

Chapter 6

"What the hell happened to you?" Tony demands when he sees the state his son is in.

"Floo travel. It is by far my least favorite way to travel." Harry says as Arthur takes his glasses and fixes them for him. "Thank you."

"I'm just grateful you ended up so close. You could have gone anywhere." Molly frets as she brushes off the remaining soot Hagrid hadn't knocked off of him.

"Molly, Arthur, I mean this with no offence meant and with as much kindness as I can muster, but why didn't someone Floo with him for his first attempt?" Tony asks. The two Weasley parents share a look at that. "Fred, can you Floo back with my son please?"

"I'll make sure Harrikins gets back to the Burrow safe and sound." The red head agrees.

"George-"

"That's Fred." Tony and Harry say in unison.

"Being engineers means having a good eye for details."

"You said you saw Lucius Malfoy there, Harry was he buying anything?" Arthur asks.

"Selling." Harry says before telling him everything he had overheard.

"Excellent. I would love to get Lucius Malfoy on something."

"No don't go biting off more than you can chew, Arthur."

"Are you saying that I'm no match for Lucius Malfoy?" Arthur asks of his wife.

"Let's get to the bank, shall we?" George asks before his parents can get into it.

"Excellent idea. I believe I need to have a conversation with the goblins in your stead, Raven."

"They came by again?" Hermione asks, confusing her parents. She promises to explain more when they get home, her parents only agreeing with Hermione staying two weeks instead of the remaining month.

"Yes, Hermione, they did. JARVIS scared them off with Repelling Mode." Tony says and Harry laughs.

"How long do you think it'll take before JARVIS makes Repelling Mode himself?"

"With your stories, I give it a year." Tony says, making the boys laugh while the adults share looks and the girls smile.

After a tight conversation with the goblins about the Dursleys and then retrieving gold for money the group splits up to get their school supplies, coming back together at Flourish and Blotts. 

"Who's the peacock?" Tony asks, looking at the pictures in the display cases.

"He's not a peacock! He's an amazing wizard!" Molly defends of the man.

"Gilderoy Lockheart. He's wrote basically our whole book list." Percy says.

"Get one set and share them. These prices are ridiculous. I don't like paying this much for books and I can pay this without making a dent. It's crazy." Tony says as he looks at the books. Molly and Arthur look at each other again at that. While they did like Tony Stark, truly they did, he had a blunt way of making them feel stupid when the solution is quite simple. "By why the whole set?"

"I reckon the new Defense teacher is a witch with a crush." Fred says.

"Oh! We can meet him!" Hermione says excitedly. Fred crosses his arms and tries not to pout at Hermione's actions.

"One or two?" Tony asks the boy.

"Both have one." Fred answers, knowing what he's asking. "It'd be different if it were two."

"Lily said the same. She had one and James had two." Tony says. Fred gave him a smile of thanks. "I still have no idea how she managed even now knowing why everything had happened. She was a fucking saint if you asked me."

"Tony Stark." Molly scolds. Tony rolls his eyes.

"I'm a grown as man, woman. I run a company and have a son and a girlfriend and everything."

"Took you and Pepper long enough." Harry says with a smirk as he collects his needed book. Tony rolls his eyes at his son's words.

"Goodness me. Can that be? It's Harry Potter!" A man says. A second later Harry is jerked away from Tony's side. Before they can get far Happy catches Harry and pulls him back towards Tony. Lockheart frowns at Happy.

"Should I be worried as to why you're so desperate to be around a twelve year old boy whose name you can't even get right?" Happy questions. Lockheart blanches at the implication while the Weasley boys laugh at Happy's words.

"I love your bodyguard, mate." Ron says through laughter.

"Harry Potter, would you please join me up here as I make my big announcement that will effect you as well?" Lockheart tries again. Harry looks at Tony and Happy before shrugging. Tony takes the books from his son and Harry walks up. Lockheart then immediately throws his arm around Harry. "Nice big smile, Harry, between the two of us you and I are worth the front page."

"And can't keep your hands off a twelve year old." Tony says, eyes narrowed. Lockheart's jaw ticks but he ignores them.

"What an extraordinary moment this is! This is the perfect time to make my announcement for all to hear. I will be taking up the Defense Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Lockheart announces. Ron, Fred, and George's groans are hidden by everyone else's applause. Lockheart shoves the free books into Harry's arms and then releases him.

"Here, you have these. I'll buy my own." Harry says, tipping the books into Ginny's cauldron.

"You just don't want anything Lockheart touched." Happy accuses.

"I will neither confirm nor deny that accusation." Harry says, much to the male's around them amusement.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione begin to head towards the door when they're intercepted by Draco Malfoy.

"Famous Harry Potter-sorry, Harry Stark-Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

"It's his dashing good looks. Gets them from me." Tony says, joining the kids, the package of books under his arm. "This the Draco Malfoy kid you three told me about? The one who came in fourth after a muggleborn and a half-blood who spent three months of the term damn near failing due to fear of what was happening to his kidnapped dad?"

"Well, well, well, that makes you the famous Tony Stark." Lucius Malfoy says as he walks up.

"That'd be me. I'm sorry, and you are?" Tony asks. Lucius looks like he sucked on a lemon while the kids laugh. "Come on, kids, let's get out of this shit show."

"Such crass language."

"Yeah, well, my kid's 12. Means I don't have to filter anymore." Tony says with a shrug.

"And boy had he." Harry and Happy say dramatically.

"That was epic, Mr. Stark!" George says.

"You are my new hero." Fred agrees.

"It's the art of subtle insulting. You're young. You'll learn."

"Is that really something you should be teaching kids?" A man says from behind them.

"If they want to survive in the world they're planning to enter, then yes. It'll be needed. And you are?"

"The man who found you." Amos Diggory says bitterly, eyeing Tony.

"Dad. Don't." Cedric begs.

"A boy raised by that...man? You have two soulmates, right, Ceddy?"

"No, dad, Harry is the only one."

"So you're Cedric! I've heard a lot about you." Tony says extending his hand to his son's future. Harry puts his head in his hand.

"All good things I hope."

"All good. Until a wire pops and the anger kicks in." Tony says, making the fourteen year old laugh. "Thank you for looking after my son last year."

"It was my pleasure."

"As if the favor would be returned." Amos scoffs.

"I already told you that it had, dad. On multiple occasions." Cedric says and Amos rolls his eyes.

"Right. Well, good luck in that mad house. See you at Hogwarts, Ced."

"Bye, Harry." Cedric says, the two boys holding eye contact for longer than necessary. Amos actually has to pull Cedric forward.

"You're as love struck as I was with James." Tony chuckles.

"Look at him!"

"I'm not Lockheart, Raven. I don't spend my free time ogling and manhandling children." Tony says, making all of the kids save Hermione laugh. At least Percy gave a small chuckle. "Happy, how would you feel about being with Harry this coming year?"

"I would, but I'm a muggle, sir."

"Damn...I'll figure something out."

"We'll be his body guards!" The twins say in unison.

"Thank you, but no. You have your own schooling to worry about." Tony says, getting thankful looks from Molly and Arthur.

"I can take care of myself, dad."

"I know, but I worry." Tony says, tightening the arm he has wrapped around his son.

"I know." Harry says, a smile in his voice.

 

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"What's going on with your dad?" Hermione asks, opening the muggle paper her parents sent her. 

"No idea. Pepper and Happy are both frustrated, and so am I actually. Apparently how he's acting is like he had before he met my parents." Harry says, irritation in his voice. Hermione just sighs as she reads, shaking her head.

"Have you heard from him?" Ron asks.

"After the fifth unanswered voicemail I stopped trying. He'll call me if he wants to talk." Harry says bitterly. Ron and Hermione share a look at that. They know how much this is hurting their friend; they also know how unlike Tony this is just from their two week stay that summer. "might not answer at that point though."

 

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After Tony has defeated Ivan Vanko Tony finally has a moment to breathe. Sitting on the trunk in his living room he looks at the bookshelf that is, once again, miraculously unharmed. He's starting to think Andromeda put a charm on it, so that it can't be destroyed. He'd have to thank her for that.

"Sir, you have missed calls from your time before finding the new element." JARVIS asks.

"Delete them all."

"Including Harry's?" JARVIS asks pointedly.

"Harry called?" Tony asks, perking up.

"Five times a day. The calls stopped five months ago."

"Raven." Tony breathes out, rubbing his face. Tony takes out his phone and tries to call his son after checking to make sure it would be a free time for him to answer. It rings multiple times before going to voice mail. "Okay, you're mad at me. I get it and you have every right to be. I have a legitimate reason why I was a dick. It's not good and doesn't excuse ignoring the reason that I live and breathe, but it's a reason. I'll call again in an hour if you don't call me back. I love you, Raven."

Tony calls eleven more times before he finally gets an answer.

"Merlin's saggy pants, mate, some of us are tryin' to focus here!" An Irish voice snaps as he answers. "Harry's ignored your calls eleven times. Get a clue!"

"Not until he answers."

"You didn't." A different male voice says.

"Where is Harry?"

"Common room." Three voices say in unison.

"Surprised he ain't knockin' the door down. Tha' watch of his is no dou' tellin' him we answered his phone."

"He stopped wearing that months ago." One of the new voices says, Tony can practically hear the shrug in his voice.

"Okay, I know I was a shit dad, but there was a reason. A shit reason, but a reason. Can I please speak to my son?" Tony asks of the three adolescent boys. There's a beat of silence before there were calls to stop. The sound of a lot of people talking increases as the minutes pass.

"Look, Harry, mate. I know you're pissed at your dad. We all get it, but he wants to explain."

"Dean-"

"At least you have a dad, Harry. We don't. Don't throw yours away for a reason that may or may not be a good reason." A different voice says.

"That's low, Neville." Ron's voice says.

"People are being petrified, Ron. Now isn't the time for pettiness. Hermione was petrified. The last heir of Slytherin was bloody You-Know-Who. You know, the bastard who tried to kill Harry as a baby and tried again last year, twice? If he went after Harry's best friend what's to say he isn't next. I don't want Harry to die without regrets, just in case the worse does happen." Neville's voice argues back. Tony is shocked by what he hears but no one answers as the loud voices disappear.

"Alright. You have one minute; you're on speaker and Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus are all in the room." Harry says curtly.

"The element I used in the arch reactor was slowly killing me. I had a few months left to live. I wanted to spend them with you, but I didn't want to hurt your studies again, so I decided to party like I used to. It wasn't worth is and I am so, so, so sorry, Raven. I love you more than anything. I should have pulled you from Hogwarts and spent the last of my life I had with you instead." Tony says quickly.

"You're dying?" Harry asks weakly.

"Not anymore. SHIELD, this secret agency-oh, fuck off Agent! My kid currently hates me! I'm gonna tell him about SHIELD if it gets him to love me again and you can go fuck yourself in the ass with a cactus with no lube for all I care."

"That's creative." Neville says.

"So tha's were you get it from." Seamus says with laughter in his voice.

"Dad!" Harry all but snaps.

"Right. SHIELD is a secret government agency. They had loads of shit on your grandfather. Apparently he had helped found the thing, another legacy for you."

"Great." Harry says sarcastically.

"Well, in all the crap they brought me was a shit ton of Capitan America stuff and a few of his other projects. In one of those was a forgotten element. It's working perfectly with the arch rector. I'm no longer dying, kiddo, I swear. I finished off a villain who is a wanna be Tony Stark/Iron Man and now we're here."

"So you stopped dying and-"

"Waited until it was safe to call me. Don't, Dean." Harry says and the other boy huffs.

"Fine."

"I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, Raven. You are the very reason I go on. I should have done this completely differently. I didn't even think of how you'd feel if you came home from school and found out I'd died and knew it and never even told you. I was a selfish bastard."

"Well, at least you acknowledge that fact." Harry says in a cold voice before sighing. "You're not dying?"

"No. I promise that I'm not. You can even connect JARVIS to my vitals if it'll make you feel better."

"Fine. But I want to be kept more in the loop. I don't care if I'm only almost 13! No more secrets."

"None. I will tell you everything. Not your whole dorm, but I will tell you everything."

"So I'll get a whole debriefing when I get home."

"I promise."

"Then I forgive you."

"I love you, Raven."

"I love you too, dad." Harry says.

"Now, what's this I hear about people being petrified?" Tony asks. Then the five boys collectively get into telling him the story of what has been happening throughout the year in minute detail. "Harry James Anthony Stark Potter, what the actual fuck were you doing, writing in a book that talks back to you! Especially after Ron warned you off about it!"

"You have five names?" Dean asks.

"Dude." Harry says in a flat voice while someone slaps the boy.

"Now isn't the time." Neville says. "Although, your dad's got a point, mate. That book is bad news. What ever happened to it?"

"No idea. It was stolen from me, remember?"

"So some other poor Gryffindor has it."

"Go to your head of house, now, while I'm on the phone, and tell them about that diary. I'm serious, boys. Harry's magical guardian used to be a Black and she's told me about some messed up magic to be careful to make sure Harry doesn't get mixed up in it."

"Ron."

"I'm not going alone out there!"

"Nev, you're his soulmate, you go with him."

"Come on, red." Neville says and then there are two sets of feet.

"Has Ron finally stopped denying the inevitable."

"Yes, and they're disgustingly adorable." Harry says, making the other two boys snort. "Oh, shove it!"

Not even five minutes later Tony hears three rushing foot steps and a slamming door.

"What's this I hear about a diary with dark magic, Stark-Potter?" McGonagall's voice demands.

Harry goes through the information he gave Tony once again.

"And you're only just now telling me?" She demands.

"In Harry's defense, professor, Harry didn't realize it was dark magic." Dean says.

"And now he does?"

"My magical guardian is Andromeda Tonks and he'd told dad about some messed up magic and dad told us to do this."

"But not before?"

"I was dying and ignoring my son like a dumbass." Tony says, knowing he's still on speaker.

"Indeed you were. I will begin an investigation. You five stay up here and do not leave your dormitory until morning."

"Yes, ma'am." All five boys say in unison.

"Well..." Seamus says.

"Anything else I should know?"

"We had sex ed. It was awkward with the lasses there. I get why cause of the carriers, bu' it was awkward."

"I am so sorry we made it inconvenient for you." Neville says sarcastically.

"When you get knocked up-"

"Okay, okay!" Seamus interrupts.

"Were you guys taught some kind of contraceptive?"

"Yeah." All five say in unison.

"Which brings up the question of why James Potter didn't use it when he was with you?" Dean asks.

"Ah, passion. It's a double edge sword."

"Ew. I'm hanging up now. Love you, dad. Glad you're no longer dying. Keep me updated."

"You too, Raven. I love you." Tony says and hangs up. God he had missed his son.

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