It was one thing right after the other. No time to think or rest or heal. This summer, it seemed, would be no different. The cold was suffocating at the same time that it was freeing. He could save them, of course he could. Youngest person to produce a patronus that he was. But did Dudley deserve to be saved?
Did Harry?
He’s been thinking about it. All summer he’s been thinking about how easy it would be to just not have to worry about anything anymore. And here was his chance, handed to him on a cold platter.
~
Severus had been sent to deliver the muggle boy’s body back to Petunia and her walrus of a husband. He went with Kingsley and Remus and suffered through the insults and screaming and crying. He let the other two deal with the emotions, and he took himself on a tour of Potter’s home.
Though, part of him doubted Potter lived here at all. There was no sign of him. No pictures, no paraphernalia, nothing. The only thing he found of the boy downstairs was a sign that said ‘Harry’s Room’ in the cupboard under the stairs. Upstairs was much the same, though at the last he found a room where it seemed the boy had slept. A room with seven locks on the door and bars on the window and a cat flap.
Everything he saw was painting quite the horrible picture. And the insults flooding up the stairs were not helping. The Order had wondered why the boy didn’t defend himself, he had been found with his wand after all, but Severus was slowly understanding that maybe the boy hadn’t wanted saving.
Maybe he wanted peace. Something he clearly didn’t have at home, and certainly never in the wizarding world.
~
The boy’s family had hosted a quick funeral, some bullshit reason for death to appease their muggle friends and family. Albus had wanted to host something for Harry, private, and just for the Order and the boy’s friends. But when Severus had gone to check on the body, to determine if it had stopped functioning, he found him breathing steadily. He seemed almost to be asleep, more than four days after the incident, four times longer than anyone had ever survived after having their soul removed.
Everyone had been in an uproar when he delivered the news. Most thought that perhaps there was hope he hadn’t been properly kissed, some were saying they should just kill the body and put him to rest.
The mutts had been almost murderous when Moody suggested it. Severus shared the feeling.
In the end, Albus crafted a sort of glass coffin to keep the boy’s body in. It had countless charms and runes on it, to help keep his body in fit shape, to feed and expel waste. A perfect preservation vessel.
~
He looked so small in there. Laying upon the pillows as if he was simply resting. Like he could wake up at any moment.
Potter had a steady stream of visitors. Granger and Weasley were his most frequent. They would stop by and update the boy on their days and any summertime drama he had missed. Mrs Weasley would read to him. Black would tell him stories from their childhood.
And Severus.. Well he never left.
He spent every day in that room with the glass coffin. He had set up a little research table, where he would read countless books and experiment with a few small potions in hopes of waking the boy up. He had told Albus he would not be returning to the school that year, his duty was to Potter. Wherever the boy went, he went. And if the boy wouldn't leave, then neither would Severus.
He had tried to argue with Severus at first, but many at the Order meeting agreed that his time could be better spent figuring out what was happening to Potter. They wanted him awake as soon as possible. It was the first time Black had spoken in agreement with Severus. And that had sealed the deal for the headmaster.
~
By the time the first of September rolled around, Severus was no closer to understanding why the child was still alive. By all accounts, he was simply sleeping. All his vitals were steady, his heart was strong, his brain had activity. But there was no movement, and nothing would wake him.
And the longer he laid there, the less people visited.
The first to stop coming around was Lupin. But, Severus had expected as much. The man was a spineless coward, and he hid from anything that he found too difficult to deal with. Potter in this state seemed to be too much for the man.
Granger and Wealsey stopped coming as well, simply because they had to go back to Hogwarts. Granger sent letters every day (and if anyone asks, Severus will deny having read them aloud to the boy).
Mrs Wealsey was next, seeing as she returned to her own home for the fall. But she did not come by to see Potter, and Severus did not question her.
Black was the only consistent visitor now. Severus had never envisioned himself living with Black, and even now he did not consider himself to be living with him. Severus did not live in Grimmauld, he lived in the bedroom at the top of the stairs. Even still, he bumped into the man in the kitchen, the library. He heard his voice everyday when he would come to speak with Potter.
It was not as horrible as he would have once described it. Not when they both so clearly cared for this boy.
~
The first time he felt the true weight of Harry's slumber was at the beginning of October. He had been able to suppress it, and had convinced himself that the boy truly was just sleeping. A slumber he was taking his time to wake from. A break from the absolute chaos that was his life.
His illusion was shattered by mere grammar.
The words had come from Mrs. Weasley, on one of her rare visits to Grimmauld to make sure Severus and Sirius were still properly caring for themselves.
“Harry’s favorite treat was treacle.”
It had been an innocent comment, perhaps in an effort to make them smile as she placed said treat on the table. But both their shoulders stiffened and they shared a look. The way she had phrased it, the past tense, as if Harry was already gone.
Severus did not leave the glass coffin’s room for the next week, he watched the rise and fall of the boy's chest.
~
31st October was harder this year. Along with his usual debilitating guilt for the life of his once only friend, Severus bore the weight of Harry’s seamlessly endless slumber.
The moment he woke that morning he situated himself next to the coffin and began talking. He spent hours telling Harry anything he could, everything he was. Started right from the beginning.
He shared his life with his mother and father, gave over the knowledge of meeting Lily for the first time, and revealed how much that friendship had saved him. The story of his time in Hogwarts spilled from him and he didn't even slow down when Sirius appeared in the room to sit with him and Harry.
He shared every detail, the bullying from the Marauders and how he gave almost as good as he got. The driving factors to falling into the dark arts, the end of his friendship with Lily and how that was the final nail in the coffin (both him and Sirius winced at the terminology). The next to come out was how being a Death Eater felt. He admitted to loving it at first, how good he felt at finally being useful and wanted. Then how quickly it turned to horror. How he was terrified each time he had to go to a meeting. He told Harry (and Sirius) about the prophecy and how he finally escaped The Dark Lord’s clutches. How he was a spy. From that moment forward he knew his only purpose in life was to make sure Lily and Harry lived.
That he had failed to save Lily and he refused to let Harry suffer her same fate.
By the time he had finished speaking his voice was hoarse and the sky outside was getting dark. Sirius hadn’t left their side once until the end, leaving briefly to get the two of them something to eat. They sat there in silence while they finished their meal
“I’m sorry. For what we put you through in school. It should have never-”
“It’s fine. We’ve bigger things to worry about now than some school boy rivalry.”
~
There was an Order meeting between Halloween and the start of the winter holidays. Severus did not want to attend. He did not care about what was happening out there, he only cared about when Harry would wake up.
As he expected, the meeting was dull, nonsensical and covered no important topics. The war had not shifted one way or the other, Voldemort had made no moves, Harry’s state was still hidden from all, and Severus was the DE public enemy number one now.
When they had run out of anything more to report on, Severus braced himself to stand.
“Harry would have had a proper fit about the lack of any progress being made at this meeting. He hated how we never had anything to do .” It’s Bill, Severus should know that it would have been a Wealsey.
Severus wants to strangle Bill Wealsey. This constant talk of Harry as if he was dead.
“During the World Cup, he ran right towards the danger. Now he was a kid who liked action.”
It seemed that the one simple comment had unleashed a flood. People all around the table were sharing their own stories or thoughts about Harry. About who he used to be. As if he was dead .
It was driving Severus mad.
There was a lull in the silence for a moment before.
“I wish we had known.. about his relatives. That we could have helped him.” The silence following that was deafening, everyone looking at everyone and bowing their heads and mourning a boy that was still alive.
He stood from the table and left. He couldn't be here for this, not if they kept acting like it was too late. Harry was still alive, there was still time to fix their mistakes.
~
Winter break brought back Weasley and Granger. They once again visited Harry each day. Severus no longer had to read Granger’s letters to Harry, seeing as she was able to update him in person. She did not ask what happened to all the letters she had sent, they were piled neatly on the bedside table where Severus kept them after he read them.
They spent most of the break in Harry's room, when they weren't talking to him they would simply talk to each other near him.
They (and Sirius) were the only people he could stand in the house. They were the only ones that had not written Harry off. That still believed he would wake.
Break ended without any stirring from Harry. Things moved on has they always had since he started his slumber. People left, no one visited, and Severus waited.
~
The new year passed with minimal fanfare, the Dark Lord had attacked a random muggle village, the Order had another meeting in which Severus did not leave the room to attend, and Harry slept.
And then it was Severus’ birthday. He felt childish, staying up until the sun rose to make a wish, like his mother used to do with him. But he did it nevertheless, as soon as he saw the first rays of light he closed his eyes, wishing for Harry to open his eyes. For him to be insufferable and a brat once again, he would take anything over this silence.
Other than his sun rise routine, he went about his day as normal.
And when it was time for him to sleep, he allowed himself one last moment of weakness.
He approached the glass coffin, got closer than he has yet. He brushed his fingers against the glass and allowed it to dissolve as he leaned down, pressing his lips to harry’s forehead in a gentle kiss.
“We will get you awake soon, child, I promise.” he leans back, watches the glass rematerialize, and then moves over to his cot in the room.
~
When he woke the next morning, he looked over to the coffin as he does each day, and felt his breath catch in his throat. Harry had turned over, now curled on his side as opposed to flat on his back as he had been the past several months.
Just as he reaches through the glass he sees Harry's eyes flutter, his leg twitches and he rolls over.
Severus freezes with his hand resting just over his chest.
And then there are green eyes staring up at him for the first time in months, that insufferable grin spreading across an equally insufferable face.
“Did you ever read Sleeping Beauty as a kid?”
“Excuse me?” Was this really the first thing he would say after a several months long sleep?
“She was woken up by true love's kiss.”
“I kissed your head last night.”
“You looked peaceful asleep.”
“You mean to tell me you awoke from your coma and went back to sleep because I looked peaceful asleep ?”
~
Soon after their first conversation, after Severus casts countless charms on him to make sure he was actually okay, after Harry admits that he had been able to hear them all while asleep, after a tense moment where Harry sees Severus gearing up to pull away and he says he still sees him as the grumpy dungeon bat, they hear the sound of multiple footsteps downstairs.
Oh yes, there was another Order meeting today. What a brilliant chance to shove in their faces how wrong they all were for writing Harry off.