The battle raged on in the Department of Mysteries, spells flying in all directions, but amidst the madness, there was one scene that drew the attention of every single person present. The DA, the Order, the Death Eaters, and even Voldemort himself, who was watching with an almost gleeful sense of curiosity, all stopped for a brief moment to witness the spectacle unfolding between Astra Potter and Bellatrix Lestrange.
Astra had just ducked under a spell that was far too close for comfort, and with a smug grin, she turned to face Bellatrix, who was absolutely fuming, her wand raised in fury.
“You know, Bellatrix,” Astra started, her tone sweet but dripping with sarcasm, “you’d be so much scarier if you weren’t dressed like that. Honestly, you look like a demented ballerina who’s had one too many shots of firewhisky.”
Bellatrix’s eyes twitched as she aimed her wand directly at Astra. “You’ll regret mocking me, Potter,” she hissed, eyes burning with rage.
Astra raised a finger to her chin, pretending to think deeply. “Hmm… you know, Bellatrix, I get that you’re going for this ‘dark and mysterious’ look, but let’s be honest. It’s a bit like trying to wear a funeral dress to a circus. It’s just… not working for you, love.”
Around them, the chaos of the battle continued, but several Death Eaters were pausing, glancing at each other in confusion. Some of the Order members were trying to stifle their laughter, and the DA was watching with wide eyes, torn between surprise and amusement. Even Voldemort, high up in his little corner, had stopped to observe the conversation.
Bellatrix screeched, launching a Cruciatus Curse toward Astra, but Astra simply rolled her eyes and flicked her wand. The curse fizzled out harmlessly, and Astra gave her an exaggerated yawn.
“Bellatrix, darling, if you don’t stop with the weak curses, I’m going to start thinking you’re trying to perform some experimental theatre.” Astra shook her head with mock sympathy. “You’ve really lost it, haven’t you? One minute you’re all ‘dark and dangerous’, the next you’re throwing tantrums like a toddler who’s had their favourite teddy bear stolen.”
The Death Eaters were now glancing awkwardly at each other, unsure whether to be enraged or genuinely concerned. Astra was genuinely tearing into Bellatrix, and it was becoming increasingly clear that Bellatrix, in her wild anger, was no match for Astra’s sarcastic onslaught.
Bellatrix, shaking with rage, fired another curse, but Astra simply flicked her wrist and conjured a cloud of glitter that exploded into the air. The glitter cascaded down in a sparkling shower, making Bellatrix freeze in horror.
“No, no, no! I will NOT be humiliated by this child!” Bellatrix shouted, trying to swat at the glitter, but it was everywhere. Her hair already wild was now glittering with shimmering blue flecks, and her robes had a distinct, sparklysheen to them.
Astra folded her arms and grinned. “Look at you! I’ve heard of a glittering personality, but this is ridiculous. Honestly, Bellatrix, if you wanted to shine like a star, you could’ve just asked! You don’t have to go all ‘dark and brooding’ just try a little bit of glamour, yeah?”
Bellatrix turned a shade of red that even her wildest fits of rage hadn’t reached. The Death Eaters were now visibly uncomfortable, trying to suppress snickers, and even Lucius Malfoy’s stoic expression cracked for a brief moment.
Astra glanced over her shoulder at the bewildered Death Eaters. “You all see it too, right? This is what you’re following? Look at her! If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was about to start selling glitter bombs for a living.”
The DA, including Hermione and Ginny, were openly laughing now, some clutching their stomachs as Astra continued her one-woman mockery show. The Order members were shaking their heads, trying not to laugh, and even Voldemort sitting in the shadows looked utterly perplexed. His brow furrowed as he tried to understand what was happening.
“I’m sorry, Bellatrix, but this is too easy,” Astra said with a wide grin. “You’re like a child’s first attempt at a villain costume all the drama, but none of the actual threat. Do you even know what you’re doing here, or did you just get lost on the way to the nearest mental asylum?”
Bellatrix shrieked in fury, her patience gone, and fired an Inferno spell at Astra. But Astra didn’t flinch. Instead, she conjured a massive inflatable rubber duck, which blocked the flames effortlessly.
“Right! Now this,” Astra said, patting the duck affectionately, “is more my style. That” she pointed at Bellatrix, who was now sputtering “is just a disaster waiting to happen.”
“You’ll pay for this!” Bellatrix screeched, launching a flurry of curses.
Astra was unbothered. “Pay for it? Oh, darling, I’m already having way too much fun to think about paying for anything.” She snapped her fingers and the inflatable duck began singing a strange, off-key rendition of “I Will Survive”, much to Bellatrix’s dismay.
By this point, the battle around them had completely paused. The DA members were laughing openly, some clutching their sides in pain. The Death Eaters were watching in disbelief, utterly lost in the spectacle. Even the Order was struggling to keep a straight face. The chaos had momentarily turned into a bizarre comedy show.
Bellatrix, now covered in glitter, surrounded by inflatable ducks, and listening to a duck warble out 1970s pop songs, was a sight to behold. She finally turned to Voldemort, her face a mask of fury.
“My Lord, help me! She’s making me look..pathetic! You have to…”
Voldemort’s snake-like eyes narrowed, a strange emotion flickering within them. It was as if he almost found the scene amusing, but he quickly masked it.
“Finish it, Bellatrix,” he hissed, his voice cold and distant.
Astra caught his gaze and grinned. “Oh, don’t worry, Voldemort. I’m not done yet.” With a flick of her wand, she created a giant foam finger that pointed at Bellatrix.
“Don’t worry, Bella. You’re number one in my book! Right after… fluffiest villain of the year.”
The entire battlefield burst into laughter. Even Bellatrix, usually known for her unshakable loyalty and rage, couldn’t help but hesitate, her mouth twitching as if she were about to crack.
Astra turned to the DA, giving a quick wink. “I think we’ve seen enough, folks. Take five, everyone! Bellatrix and I are just getting started.”
With that, Astra sauntered off, leaving Bellatrix in her ridiculous state, surrounded by chaos, inflatable ducks, and the faint sounds of disco music. The Death Eaters, the Order, the DA, and even Voldemort were all left staring, mouths open in stunned disbelief.
And somewhere in the back of the room, a soft, confused voice muttered, “Did she just… win?”