Tea With Nagini
Let me start by saying that despite what anyone tells you, I don’t pick sides. Dark Lord, Chosen One, or some poor Hufflepuff crying over a broken quill—none of it matters to me. My loyalties lie only with myself, a warm sunspot, and maybe the occasional roasted chicken.
That’s why no one knows about my little visits to Malfoy Manor.
I’ve been sneaking off to see Nagini for months now. Yes, *that* Nagini. The terrifying snake everyone whispers about. Turns out, she’s not so bad once you get past the whole “Dark Lord’s pet serpent” thing. We actually have a lot in common: an appreciation for silent observation, a knack for intimidation, and an inherent understanding that humans are just very loud, very clumsy food dispensers.
This particular evening, I padded through the Manor’s halls with ease, as I always did. The Death Eaters may think they’re all-powerful, but they’re no match for my stealth. Honestly, half the time they didn’t even notice me curling up by the fire while they schemed.
“Finally,” Nagini hissed as I entered her chamber. She was lounging on her usual pile of silk cushions, her coils gleaming in the dim light. “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”
“As if I could forget you,” I replied, leaping gracefully onto one of the nearby cushions. “I’ve just been busy. Humans are exhausting, you know.”
She gave a low chuckle, her forked tongue flicking in amusement. “Always scurrying about, aren’t they? Like ants on a sinking ship.”
I sprawled out, making myself comfortable. “You’ve no idea. Harry and Ginny are stuck in this endless dance of awkwardness, Hermione’s been crying over a textbook, and don’t even get me started on Ron’s table manners. It’s a miracle I haven’t lost my mind.”
Nagini coiled closer, resting her massive head on the cushion beside me. “You deserve better company, Crookshanks. Someone who understands your superior intellect.”
“Obviously,” I said, grooming a paw. “Though I’ll admit, you’re not the worst conversationalist.”
We sat in companionable silence for a moment, the flickering candlelight casting long shadows on the walls. This was why I kept coming back—Nagini didn’t need constant chatter or emotional outbursts. She got it.
Eventually, she broke the silence. “Have you heard the latest gossip?”
“Oh, do tell,” I said, feigning indifference but secretly intrigued.
“Lucius tripped over his robes this morning,” she said with a sly grin. “Right in front of the Dark Lord. He tried to cover it up, but Voldemort just stared at him for a full minute before saying, ‘Pathetic.’”
I let out a purr of amusement. “I wish I’d seen that.”
Nagini sighed dramatically. “These humans are so entertaining. I almost feel bad for them… almost.”
We spent the next hour swapping stories—me recounting the chaos of Gryffindor Tower, and her sharing tales of Death Eater blunders. It was, as always, a delightful escape from the madness of the wizarding world.
Eventually, I stood, stretching luxuriously. “I suppose I should head back before they realize I’m gone.”
Nagini tilted her head. “Must you? Stay a while longer. We could raid the kitchen—Bellatrix’s stash of chocolates is particularly tempting.”
“As much as I’d love to, someone has to keep an eye on the humans,” I said, flicking my tail. “They’d be utterly lost without me.”
She laughed, a low, sibilant sound. “Very well. But don’t keep me waiting too long, Crookshanks. These visits are the highlight of my existence.”
With a final nod, I slipped out of the room and made my way back to Hogwarts. As I padded through the halls, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Who knew the Dark Lord’s fearsome snake could be such good company?
Back in the common room, Harry was pacing, Hermione was buried in a book, and Ron was snoring loudly on the couch. I curled up in my favorite chair, letting out a contented sigh.
Let the humans have their drama. I had my secrets—and my best friend, Nagini.