1. The goodbye
"There is no greater danger for humankind
than not believing in each other"
"Vamonos de aquí
Vamos a buscar
La manera de endulzar la despedida.
Vamonos de aquí
Vamos a pensar
Que mañana no te irás
De mi vida"
Monday, May 20
There is a particular feeling that starts to spread among the townspeople when june is approaching; a sort of quietness, the people seem to talk less among each other, and the kids are no longer seen in the street after dark, laughter becomes less common, and deep dark circles seem to appear under the eyes of the parents, it seems like the whole town starts to lose its color, suddenly engulfed in a dense fog of worried faces and concerned whispers.
This year was no different, June was closing in, and with it; the anxiety of everyone was reaching a peak.
Among the sea of dark faces, Regulus Black was trying to not think of his own fears as he made his way to his best friends house, he saw the distinct doors of the Crouch mansion, he alway thought it too dark a space, always so silent and cold, it reminded him too much of his own home, so, al usual he intended to spend as little time as possible inside the tall walls that were now in front of him.
A familiar face opened the door. It was truly remarkable how the world seemed to magically get back his color, everytime he looked at Barty, he smiled automatically as he came to the door.
–Reg! I was beginning to think you weren’t coming- He said with a big smile, welcoming him in.
– Yes well, I couldn’t not show up to my goodbye party, could I?– he muttered, his tone a bit more bitter than before.
The boy in front of him, simply hummed, the mood more serious, the eyebrows he knew so well burrowed almost forming a single line, Regulus knew it wasn’t a topic that Barty liked to discuss, but he simply couldn’t pretend not to know the reality anymore, this was one of the last times he would see Barty Crouch Jr., or anyone for that matter, and he no longer was willing to deny this fact. Especially not with the boy that was now guiding the way to the living room.
Barty and him had been friends ever since they were kids, growing up in a small town, there were very few people who didn't know each other, but they had clicked like puzzle pieces ever since they first met; a shy Regulus who was so used to being silent that sometimes he felt like people saw right through him like a ghost, not really a part of the rest of the world, and a small Barty, who was as loud and scandalous as he could be, desperate to keep peoples attention, and yet he always listened to the quiet words of the scared child that Regulus had once been. Yes they had become inseparable, even when they met Evan a few years later the three of them bonded like they were always destined to be together, at least that's how Regulus saw it.
While he was reflecting about the two boys he loved more than himself, he saw the golden locks of Evan who was sitting in the living room, he greeted Reg and then offered him a glass of the dark liquor he himself was drinking, probably stolen from Crouch Sr., though Reg didn’t care much where it came from.
– So, Reg…– Barty started talking, he seemed unusually unsure, quiet, like he was scared of what the words he was about to say would cause on Regulus.
– We have an idea, I know you already said you don’t want us to interfere, but this time we’re sure that we can get you out before June, we three can run, never look back, you will be safe- There was pleading in the eyes of both boys, it hurt him deeply to see the faces of his friends so raw with feeling, those eyes usually trained just as his to be void of emotion, to be careful and wary around others, the clear sadness of Evan and what almost seemed like despair in Barty, made him all too aware of how much he was going to miss them.
He didn’t really had any faith left, he had accepted his destiny since he was a child, being a part of the Most Ancient House of Black, he had grown a sort of resignation towards the inevitable end of his life, he had been born for this, at least his mother never failed in reminding him…, so he didn’t let himself hope for anything different, it would be useless anyways, he only felt bad about the stubbornness of his friends, they had spent the entire year trying to find a way to save him before June in vain.
Now Evan started to talk with the same eager voice that made Regulus feel hopeless –Listen, Mulciber is willing to make a deal, he can get us out of town as soon as you get your bags ready, he will distract your parents and we will open the gates, and then we’re free Reg, we can go anywhere, you don’t have to- – Evan paused suddenly, refusing to say what they all were thinking you don’t have to die.
But he did.
He knew he did.
He looked at the green eyes of Barty, unable to handle the hope in Evans' face. – You think I haven’t already thought of every single way out of this? My parents are keeping me under vigilance at all times, they won’t even let me close the door of my room, I can feel their people following me every time I go out, they are way to scared I’ll be like Siri- — Regulus paused, not wanting to say the name of the same brother that was responsible for his current miserable situation — like him— He spat those words full of years old resentment
– They won’t let me go, someone has to fulfill the duty of the heir, I am tired of trying to find a way out, I just want to be with you as long as I have— we waited a moment, too overcome with feeling to continue, a knot formed in his throat and his eyes started to burn, the feeling he had been living with for his entire life, making it hard to breath. Fear. the terrible fear that he wouldn’t admit to anyone – Please– he almost whispered – Please just let me not think about it for some time–.
His words seemed to affect the boys in front of him as much as himself, Barty’s eyes were bright with rage, rage for his friend, for the terrible curse of having to die too young, too scared, rage for the unfair world that was about to take from him one of his only friends. He was prepared to set the world on fire just so none of the people he loved would be hurt, but he simply couldn’t think of a way to save Reg this time. So he just tried to breathe his tears away and focus on the boy with the black curls and the clear fear that he was trying to repress.
– Regulus… just let us keep trying, we will find a way– the voice of the blond boy was quiet, restricted.
The silence stretched, making the air difficult to breath, a suffocating atmosphere among the tree boys, Regulus felt like he couldn't speak anymore, of course he wanted to live, he wanted to get out, to escape, and be free to live his life, but he knew he couldn’t, he had been trapped in a web ever since he had the terrible luck of being born with the last name Black.
After a few long minutes, Barty decided to save Reg of his own sadness, he put on a happy mask once again and tried to speak with a lighter tone –fine– he sighed, –We will let it go, you’re right, you deserve to not think about June, at least with us–
After that, the boys seemed to relax back into their normal dynamic, they spoke of all the people in town, the gossip that Evan had discovered, the new conquests of Barty and the books that Regulus was reading, they created a safe bubble just for themselves, and in no moment did any of them mention their families, the upcoming birthday of the boy with the black curls or the terrible creature that was the source of all their worries, fear and grief. they let time melt in their little space, where only they existed, until it was completely dark outside.
When it was time to say goodbye Regulus tried to pretend like it was one of their normal reunions, like he was back in school going with Evan and Barty to talk and laugh until it was dark, he pretended he didn’t notice how the hugs were a little longer than usual, perhaps a bit tighter, and maybe we noticed a particular glow in his friends eyes, but it was probably the lights, he pretended he didn’t took extra time to go home and tried to forget the deep void in his stomach as he walked away from the people that had become his family, the only people that he knew would miss him.