One
Prologue
Six months after the last battle, the world is still in ruins. Draco Malfoy sits in the vasthalls of the Manor, walking among ghosts, thinking that maybe, perhaps, dying in that fire would have been better. Another six months and his house arrest will come to an end. And then he will continue to walk purposeless, a dead man beside catastrophe.
Six months after Voldemort's death, the bodies keep piling up, the haunted look in their eyes never dims.
He still gets the papers -a mistake, he is sure-buthe nevermentions. He thinks there isn't going to be any worse than this. Yet, there inthefrontline, bold letters mark that despair will never going to end.
Harry Potter is dead.
____
He takes his coat off the chair. A nod to hiscolleague that had just sat down. It's just another Friday, he got to the office, a ghost like all the other employees of this department. He had worked really hard to get this job, to get access, to elevate in a respectful position.
The door of the elevator closes and he thinks that if he wants to, he can have a life, he can meet a friend, maybe a dinner, perhaps in ten years from now the world will stop being a ruin.
He walks under the street lamps, the same route he takes every day, the apparation point just around the corner. He could have a life, die a meaningless death. If this life didn't feel like a death already he thinks and he keeps walking.
____
Hermione Granger opens the door of the ancient Black house. It's just another Friday. She has let her hair grow, untamed like this, she seems mad. Maybe she is, maybe they all are.
She nods and Dracowalks into the house. Weasley is sitting on the table, the only clean thing in this house, the only one they are bothered to keep decent. He looks at Draco and it feels the same every timesince the first, angry, determined, broken.
"Did you get it?" He asks, but he knows, before Draconods.
"It will be tonight then." He says and he looks at the papers in front of him.
"Are we sure that it's going to work?" Granger asks, a rare doubt in the plan that she mostly made.
"It will work." Draco says. "It has to."
They have burnt the last four years for this. All of them. Stuck like the rest of the world. Too many losses, too many fights, perhaps another war on the way, even if it feels like this one isn't over yet.
"It has to." Weasley agrees.
He was the one that found him. Him and that letter that Draco read many months after he reached out, with a thought that Granger formed into a plan.
Harry Potter wanted to rest. He couldn't, he said, keep going. That dying felt like peace at last, he said that there was a hole in him where the soul of Voldemort previously was. He wished that everything was different, that he had met them, Granger and Weasley under different circumstances, that he was whole. He said he had enough.
"We are going to change the world." Granger states. "We are making a decision for everyone." There is no light in her tone, no glow for the possibilities, for the unknown.
"The world is fucked." Weasley replies.
"Are you sure?" She turns to Draco. Of all of them, he is the one mostlyaffected. Granger is a muggleborn, the course of her life, of her parents is the furthest away. She is probably going to be fine.
Draco on the other hand is at the root of this mess. One wrong turn and he will cease to exist. It wouldn't be so bad, he thinks.
"I'm sure." He says and he takes out the box.
They drink coffee, look at their notes and when the last drop comes out of the cup, Draco takes out the object.
"Granger. Weasley." A shake of his head. An answering nod.
"Let'smeet again in a better world." Granger says and her doubt is hidden or erased. There is no point for hesitation now. It's a plan three years in the making. The last doubt was killed when Dracostole the box from the Unspeakable's Department.
"Don't be a ferret next time." Weasley jokes for the first time. Perhaps because it would be the last.
"An honour to meet you." He says as he startsspinning the time-turner. He almost misses the surprise on their faces. But there is no point in lying now. Every turn is an erase of him. He understands in those moments how Potter felt, though to be honest he understood long before. An erase without the promise of a future. A burden lifted. He hopes he succeeds. If anyone, Harry Potter deserves a life, full and light. Perhaps they would have been friends in that one. Perhaps he would have loved him.
_____
Severus puts his clothes in the suitcase. He thinks it's raining outside but the world is still dark and there is no lamp at the end of the road that leads to his house. He is quiet -he has to be- a fight now will only prolong his stay here. The bag clicks and he holds his breath. No sound is heard and he exhales. He doesn't feel fear -not anymore. Fear died the first time he raised his wand, when he had nothing left to lose. An expel from school would be dreadful before, but now Hogwarts is as dark as this house. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is survival against all odds, against the world.
He takes his suitcase in a hug, the handle is broken, so a hug it is and he descends the stairs. The house is as dark as the sky outside, but he knows every step, every crook, so he walks.
A look on his left. His father is sleeping on the table, a blanket on top of him.
Severus scoffs. It will never end. Loving something poisonous is one thing, forgiving is another.
He hums. Perhaps he is more unlovable than his father. It doesn't matter. He needs no-one. Except one. Yet she doesn't need him. Unlovable it is. He can work with that. He has himself and his skills. He will excell even if nobody wants him to, because nobody wants him to. Whatever that means.
He closes the door and he walks. A bus and then train. Barely enough money, but he will eat at night when he arrives. Hunger isn't an issue, it sits along with pain and solitude.
He sleeps on the bus. He wakes every ten minutes. It's normal. It's his sleeping habit. Always on alert, in school, at his house. He needs to be. There are only a handful of times that he actually slept. On the abandoned park twice, the sunlight had pierced through the polluted air. Lily was there, a hand inside his, a safe point. Once at her house. He rarely went there. Her parents are nice people, kind, but they question a lot, subtle things that he doesn't want to answer. Perhaps, at first he thought, he imagined even, that there would be some sort of salvation, that someone would come and take him, but nobody cares for people like him. And he didn't want to be separated from her. Not that it mattered in the end. Even in this abandoned dot, he is from a different world. Lily isn't rich or spoiled. Her parents are hardworking people. But still there is a line that separates them. Luck, perhaps, or destiny -though he believes in neither.
He switches the bus for the train. There is light in the sky now, but the sun isn't visible yet. It is still early when he arrives at the station, when he passes from one world to another. He is the first to arrive, as always, to choose a corner, to be prepared. He sits and waits. That first time when he passed the barrier with anxiety, with hope, it was with Lily. He had fantasized that in the years to come, they would always come together. That in their last year, they would be here discussing what to come, what to expect, maybe, maybe even move together. A silly thought, a product of childish idiocy. Lily doesn't want him, she doesn't need him, she is a person of her own, a pillar that stands without external support. He was the one that needed her. But she isn't at his side, not anymore and Severus hasn't died yet. Perhaps he doesn't need her either. He knows it's a lie. He still says it.
There is a sound at his side. Steps, someone's approaching. He touches his wand inside his sleeve. A constant against anything unexpected.
The figure approaches and it's unsettling, because Severus knows him. Lucius had been friendly, friendlier since his fallout with Lily, even if he is spoiled, even if his world is truly out of reach. They aren't friends, they cannot be, for Lucius he is an odd pet, a curiosity with perks, for Severus the Malfoy heir is a stepping stone, an investment.
And because of this, he has no reason to be here.
"Lucius?" Severus asks as he gets up, his hand still inside his sleeve.
The face across him flinches. A barely there move. He has learnt to watch for even subtler ones.
The man doesn't speak at first, but as Severus watches him, he realises that this person isn't Lucius. He looks like him a lot, enough to be mistaken for the man. But his eyes are sharper, more elegant and there is a shade of blue in there.
A relative perhaps, a cousin, since Lucius hasn't had any brothers that he is aware of.
"You are not Lucius." He says, since the man hasn't spoken yet.
"I am not." He answers at last. His voice is different too. Quieter, more tired.
They stare at each other. Severus grips his wand tighter. There is something in the other's expression, in the way he has moved closer to him. As if he wants to reach out.
"I don't have much time." He takes a breath. "You need to make amends with the one dear to you. Otherwise Harry will die." It's as if he reads a statement. The harsh swallow that follows it's the only thing that betrays discomfort.
"Is this a joke that Lucius has crafted?" He rolls his eyes. "I'm not interested." He takes a step back and the man follows.
"Snape listen to me and do it carefully. I don't have much time." He stares at him hard, unrelentingly. "You need to fix your mistake. We haven't thought of any other way."
"We?" Severus asks. "Are there more people in this, is it a prank? Poor performance."
"If you don't Harry will die." The man says again.
"Who is Harry?" He asks back, because he is losing his patience. "Tell to whoever..."
"You don't know yet." The man answers and there a swift in the air. A stillness in magic. The man feels it too. "There are many complications. Many things unknown. I can't tell you. I tell you what I can. What can change."
Severus scoffs. Yet his nerves are on edge.
"You are a clever man." There is a smile. "The most brilliant man I've ever..." A shake of his head. "If you figure it out, if you ever realise it, know that you don't have to worry about me. You just need to ensure that Harry survives."
"And this... Harry's survival is dependent on me making amends with..."
"Lily." The man speaks of her name as if he has never said it before. Severus finally presents his wand. An inch in front of the pale sharp jaw. He has to be a cousin of Lucius, he thinks. Though he can't think why would he do something like this.
"He will get to him. Even in the end." The man says. "Even if..." His lips are a thin line. "The world is fucked." It's so odd, hearing him swear. Perhaps it's the accent. "Promise me you will try to protect him."
"I am not the type." Severus mocks.
The man laughs. It's terrifying.
"You are." He says. "You just need to realise it sooner."
"I have to go. Be smart this time. Keep your eyes open." He walks away, unafraid of Severus rage. "I believe in you."
He is ready to speak, for a curse to roll off his tongue, when the hair of the man seems slightly transparent. He blinks and the man is at the edge of the platform.
"It was nice seeing you." He smiles. "Farewell." He says and he falls forward.
Severus runs, but when he reaches, there is no-one there.
_____
He thinks about the stranger on the whole ride. He spotted Lily the moment she stepped into the platform and he walked the furthest away from her. Whatever this prank is, it needs to lure him to speak to her. Severus would be foolish to take the bait.
He took a seat, alone, on the back, the furthest from the exit. The least desirable. And he thought.
He still thinks about the man, that looked at him like he knew him, that spoke to him with a casualness few possess the privilege or the courage to master. He was composed, determined and yet and yet... Desperate. He can't shake of that feeling. But Severus isn't stupid. He had been once, foolish and blind, and it had almost cost him his life.
He tries to forget about him, as he eats at his corner in the dining table. He tries, yet his ears are perked in the slightest chance that someone might say the name Harry.
The classes start and he buries the sight of the man falling down the platform. He waits for a letter to arrive, from Lucius perhaps to inform him how heartbroken he is because his joke turned to be a disappointment.
Nothing happens. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing that hasn't happened before. Lily misses his gaze purposely, like he isn't even there, as she always does since their fight. There are comments, about his appearance, about his face and his clothes and his existence in general, annoying and deliberately quiet so no professor can hear. Potter and his gang is still bold, but they had been almost murderers. That flattered their ego. He is at least contempt with that.
His fellow Slitherins approach him. He is smart, clever, more than any of them. But they have the names and the money and there is a plan on the making and they need his brain for that. Severus will survive. He will thrive. By any means necessary.
He had seen the leader that they all gather around, in a rare occasion that he was invited to Lucius' house. He had understood then why they all went to their feet for him. Power. Intelligence. A promise of a new world. Severus is already done with the existing one. It offered him nothing. And yet. He doesn't belong there either. Misfitting always. Everywhere. Except perhaps in a fleeting moment in a sad field with a hand inside his.
Nothing is out of order and he still can't shake off the strange encounter. He plays it in his head, categorises the different options like he does with the ingredients for his potions. He thinks, he will go mad. And when he is certain he is going mad, when his sanity feels like slipping, he gives in. He is ready for the laughs, he has heard them all his life, the laughs and the insults, so he is ready.
It happens, while a conversation is unfolding at breakfast about muggleborns and their inevitable erase. About the proper treatment they will receive and Lily had laughed a moment ago in another table.
Severus gets up. He knows how he seems. Gloomy, unshaken, cold. He had worked hard for that. There is a momentary pause in the conversation, but they start talking again, until he walks to the Gryffindor table. Everything is quiet or so he thinks, because his focus is only on her.
"Got a problem?" Potter asks, his arm around her. Severus wants to roll his eyes, or say something nasty.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He looks only at her. She looks at her plate. Her laughter from before is nowhere to be found. She is serious, grim. He is doing that to her.
"Better get going." Potter speaks again.
"It will only take a moment." He address her still. He wants her to look at him. He had thought from that first time he had tried to apologise, that if she had looked at him, she would know. That everything would be different.
He feels foolish as he stands there, all eyes on him. He never craved for attention, never wanted it. This whole thing is a joke. He realises it now. Whoever played him was smart.
"Maybe if you fall on your knees and beg." Another voice comes. A familiar one. His gaze flatters and he looks away from Lily.
Black looks at him all smug, a vicious smirk on his face. Perhaps he is the one behind all this. It is fitting. Severus is ready to answer him, answer him and then walk away. He is disappointed with himself. There is still a part of him that hopes, a sad place in himself that he hasn't been able to kill. Pathetic.
"Are you thinking about it Sniv?" Black laughs. "Oh, Merlin it will definitely make my day."
There is a curse. He knows it. A curse and all smugness from Black's face will evaporate.
Be better this time. The man had said. Keep your eyes open.
This time. As if there was...
He turns around and Lily's eyes are on him. He quickly turns to Black.
"This isn't funny." She says and she gets up.
"Lil..." Potter tries, but a glance is all it takes.
Severus follows. There are whistles and inappropriate noises, but Severus stares at the red in front of him. They make a turn and Lily stops absurdly.
"If I didn't know any better, I would say that this is some kind of joke."
Severus almost smiles. They think too similar sometimes. And others...
"Is it? Did your friends put you up to this?"
"Did yours?" He accuses. Two years back, he would have fallen to his knees and begged. But Severus isn't the same person anymore.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily asks. "Forget it...I thought..."
He watches her downcast glance to the left, a mark that she is hurt and disappointed, the raising of one finger as she silently reprimands herself in her head. He looks. He doesn't know who this Harry is supposed to be, but Lily seems like...Like she was waiting.
"I'm sorry." Severus tells her.
"For the kind of talks that your friends are spouting. Because you know they speak for people like me and you." An accusing finger, but her eyes are still elsewhere. "For my parents who are still asking about you and I don't know what to tell them?" A straight of her back. "Or perhaps because you called me that?" She finally looks and Severus isn't sure that is better. "You know, mudblood." She spats to his face. He wants to turn away. But he doesn't.
"For all of that." He says. He sounds calm, composed. He isn't.
"Just like that." She tells him. She untangles her hands. "And I'm supposed to believe you? Am I supposed to forgive you?"
"You are not." He says. As Lily's voice raises, his own falls. "But I am sorry. And I wanted to tell to that."
She scoffs.
"And then what? We shake hands and move on our ways?"
"If that's what you want."
She groans.
"You are unbelievable." She yells. "Unbelievable. You were my best friend. I trusted you. You know things about me that no-one does." Another groan. "You left me alone."
He knows, he can feel it, there is no cold demeanor right now. His brows are raised.
"You left me alone." She says again. "And that will take a while for me to forgive." She shakes her head. "That and the name you called me."
_____
It takes Lily a week, before she comes and sits beside him at Potions.
"That doesn't mean I forgave you." She says and they work together ever since.
It happens gradually, the swift, the fall back in a familiarity that Severus always thought was more to him than her. Perhaps that was it. He always believed that she meant more to him than he to her.
The downside is, of course, that the dungeons become hostile again. That the insults increase, but he has grown now, he has learnt, he knows that most fear him. They should. No-one talks to him, another solitude for an exchange of few words with Lily. He concludes that it's fair. Enough.
They don't become friends, not like before, not really, until the day he meets her at the library and Potter is there, kissing her hastily as she pushes him away. They stare at each other, all three of them, Potter with his idiotic triumphing smile on his face, like he won a price, when in reality he earned just a scowl from him. But when he turns to Lily, she has an unreadable expression on her face. Severus doesn't know what it is.
They sit for an hour, until Lily speaks.
"Do you hate me?" She asks. "Because I will understand it, if you do."
Severus closes the book he is reading.
"I know, I know how awful he has been to you." She clenches her fingers, unclenches them. "I was there, I know. And now I'm...He isn't like that you know. But...But he had been. To you."
He only now realises that expression. Shame. It doesn't suit her. Lily always had that flaw. She felt guilty when she first came to Hogwarts and awful little Tuney stayed behind, then again when Severus was unpopular and Lily simply shined, now it's because she's in love with Potter. Of course he is beneath her and yes, Severus admits that at first it felt like a betrayal. He can't fathom what it is that she sees in him, enough to tolerate him and his gang of monkeys. But he knows that she deserves to be herself, happy.
"There many ways to diminish yourself I suppose." He tells her, because he can't say more. He doesn't like Potter, he would say hate, if the word wasn't dramatic. She doesn't find his answer amusing.
"I want to be with him." She says. "I will be. In the future."
Certainty and a vision. Lily is sure, Severus not so much. He knows that everyday is a roll of the dice. A struggle. Maybe it is different for her. He hopes it is. Across from him, a distance of a reading table, yet worlds apart.
"Why did you decide to listen to me?" He asks. He used to kiss the ground under her feet, unbalanced by her steadiness. He used to want her all to himself, he thought he would die otherwise. Yet the months passed and he is still walking. Alive by the definition of the word.
"There is a war coming." She replies and all her confidence flatters. "You know it. Maybe more than me." A hit that Severus let slide. "I want the people I care about to be close to me. I can't protect them otherwise." She is so honest, so unbothered of speaking the truth, a skill he never learnt.
He opens his book again.
"I can tolerate Potter, I suppose."
He watches with the corner of his eyes her brilliant smile.
_____
The problem is that Potter doesn't come alone. He comes with a package -a heavy one. He tries as much as he can to avoid them, staying busy whenever Lily wants to drag him along, hoping they will reconcile somehow. He isn't interested in any of that, even if it means that he sees her less. Perhaps two years ago, he would have done anything to stay by her side. Perhaps two years ago, he would have spat in her face. He just avoids them now.
He is tired. The people in his house are trying to recruit him -his skills, it seems, are more important than his affiliation with a Muggle- born.
He studies for the exams every available hour of the day. He knows he will receive only excellent marks -he has nothing else except himself and his mind.
He still dreams of the not-Lucius. His face, his desperation. He tries not to, but his words echo in his mind. He is scared when he reaches close to a theory, so he retreats. It doesn't matter for now. He has Lily back. Even if she is different, even if he is. Even if in some parts they are exactly the same.
The conflict is close. He can feel the breath of an unavoidable outcome. He dreads he will have to pick a side. He dreads, because Severus is disposable. No name, no money, no family. Alone with his mind and his resolve.
Sometimes he is afraid. Part of him longs for a war to break. For something to change. He is terrified, because he doesn't care who would win.
Yet he knows, that if the time comes, Lily will fight and he will fight beside her.
All his planning for neutrality comes to an end when a fight breaks. He usually stays put, but there are five against one and he supposes he still has his own ethic. Or it is a forgotten compassion for a child at the dead end of an insignificant town.
"I will take the Mark." The boy yells. "I am loyal to the cause." He yells, but he is on the verge of tears.
"Pathetic. You have treason in your blood Black."
"Maybe prove yourself first."
"Yeah. Go kill your brother."
They are laughing. Taunting him. They are bigger than him, even if his name is more ancient. Sometimes it doesn't matter. More times than not. When a vulnerability is shown, people are meant to exploit it.
"What?" He falls on their trap easily.
"Are you scared?" One asks.
"Or are you a traitor too?" Another.
"I don't have a brother." The boy frowns. "We..."
"So prove it."
"Go right now."
Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared?
"Why don't you go Mulciber?" Severus sits on the couch. A slow raise of his eyes. He shows no weakness. He has learnt that lesson unlike the young Black. "To show your loyalty."
"Nobody asked you Snape." He says.
"Oh, are you scared?" He asks. There are still five of them. They can try to beat him. They will lose of course, but perhaps he will not come out unscathed.
"What did you say?" A step to his direction.
"Let's go." Avery promts with a scoff.
And that would be all. But Severus can't help himself. Never could.
"All that bravado, what a waste. Are you scared of me too?"
There is a flash of surprise on Regulus Black's face, before the first spell flies.
_____
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
They have probably had this conversation, this repeat more times than he could count. In most, Lily's new and everlasting boyfriend is the nothing in particular.
This time though, he stands awkwardly just a few feet behind her, his group of brutally stupid friends at his side.
"It can't be nothing. You are hurt. And in detention."
"It is nothing."
Another repetition.
"Probably pissed someone off." Black provides unhelpfully. Potter shoves him, just before Lily turns around. Oh, he is trying to be a good boy. Severus almost laughs.
"Do you find it funny Sirius?" She asks and he shrugs a little, not scared. Annoyed perhaps.
"It was an observation. A good one, if anyone can tell from his face." He tells her as he looks at his side. Lupin sighs and Pettigrew takes a step behind him.
"You should see the other guy." Potter says as a joke to diffuse the tension. He prefers to make an offhanded nice comment for him, than let his best friend and girlfriend argue.
"Five." Severus provides. He is delighted with Potter's struggles. "Not one."
"Arrogant bastard." Black tells him.
"I had practice." Severus almost smiles.
"Do you want to have more now?" Black takes a step towards him. He can't help himself. Not with Lily ready to lecture him and Potter wanting to hit him too, but he can't so he turns his frustration at Black.
Severus gets up. He will take his chances. He has to. He always has to. But as he is ready to draw his wand, he watches as the attention of the group shifts from him to something on his back. A teacher perhaps. It's the weekend, the grounds are mostly empty.
He turns around, only to see Regulus Black. The boy looks ahead with disgust and then his eyes land on Severus.
"Your choice of friends is questionable." And that is a start. A cacophony of voices, until Severus raises his hand and only a scoff is heard. Black.
"I don't need protection." He continues. He doesn't know how to thank. A trait of his upbringing. Severus understands it. His own comes from different reasons, the place though is the same. "That is all."
"Some fights need tactic." Severus tells him. "It's beneficial to not do it alone."
The boy turns. A slight shake of his head, a feigned arrogance.
"That is rich coming from you. The most alone person in the school."
Maybe he should have let them beat him.
"He isn't alone." Lily says. She is missing the point. Yet, it's warm.
"I will keep that in mind." He answers.
"You better." Fierce, loyal and unwavering. But the boy doesn't speak to her. His answer is for Severus.
_____
Lily abandons her trip to Hogsmeade for the library. He tells her that it's unnecessary, his detention is his alone and they won't be able to speak anyway. She ignores him.
As a result Potter follows like a loyal pet and Severus wonders if that was how he looked in the past. Even if his love for her was never romantic. It was, still is, something deeper. A bond forged amidst clouds of smoke, in the barrier of a polluted river.
Since Potter follows, the others inevitably come along too. Pettigrew is dissatisfied with this, yet he is good at concealing it behind shy smiles. He had never paid attention to him, a side character in his friends lives, but now as he watches him reassuring Potter that it's not a bother at all, that he prefers to be here with him, Severus knows he's lying through his teeth. It's unsettling. Potter doesn't notice it as he puts his hand around his shoulders with a smile.
Lupin has already sat beside Lily. A book in front of him. He knows better than to come close to Severus. He is fine being here. Perhaps he feels like he owns him. He does.
Black's frustration is visible enough for everything else to evaporate. He is grumpy, loud, on his feet, perhaps in an attempt to throw them all out. A man that only knows how to take. The worst of them all. Yet when Potter pleads with him, he stays put, like an order is issued and he can do nothing, but follow. Blinding loyalty. A mad dog on a leash.
Severus ignores them, or tries to, and he begins to catalogue ancient tomes. He lifts the dust with his wand and wanders close to the restricted part of the library. There are tomes there spilling dark secrets, yet Severus always thought that an item isn't dangerous, only the hand that wields it. A knife can cut a piece of meat for a child to eat, it can pierce through skin. A belt comes to mind.
"Are you thinking of evil schemes Snivellus?" Black is behind him.
"Your mind isn't advanced enough to comprehend my thoughts, Black. So don't embarrass yourself by trying."
He is at his side. A mad dog, but his leash is forgotten on a table behind many shelves.
"Do you think that Lily can protect you forever?"
"I don't need anyone's protection. Unlike you. Always with backup. Tell me Black how brave are you really when you're on your own?"
A shove as a response. A grab of his arms.
"Eloquent, as always." Severus responds.
"You don't know when to shut up Sniv." His smile is feral, but he's holding back. Potter's orders probably.
"At least I'm saying something worth mentioning." He looks him in the eyes. Eye contact helps. They know you aren't afraid. It throws them off.
He could hit him in the head, they are close enough for that. He doesn't need his hands for it. A fall of his own, hard enough to make them both bleed. It's a last resort, he would like to not have another detention. Black is still trying to contain himself, his hand betray him though, the strength around his arms, nails digging at the fabric. He stares at Severus, maybe he is acting brave too.
"If you're trying to kill me, Black, this hardly seems like the ideal location." He is pushing it. "And not enough fur." He raises an eyebrow and Black responds immediately. A release of his left hand, in exchange for his neck.
"I don't need anyone else to kill you." He threatens. Futile, he should use his mind more, small as it might be. Severus puts his palm on his hair and he pulls to the side. Black groans with surprise, enough to loose his grip on his neck. A shove next and he pins him to the shelves. A rattle. He won't be able to avoid detention. He can live with that.
"Don't be so sure." He tells him. Black looks like he will bite him. "Now, do yourself a favour and leave before you humiliate yourself any further."
"Fuck you." Black shoves him back. He doesn't achieve much. Severus had been fighting with his fists long before he touched a wand. He is slim, but as long as hhe stays in school he gains the appropriate weight, gets the appropriate strength.
The hand around his throat closes once more.
He will have to go for the head in the end.
"If you want to accompany mister Snape in detention so much, I will give you the opportunity." Madam Pince's voice cuts through the quietness. "Better begin boy."
_____
It is late into the night when she lets them leave. Madam Pince is a strict and unlikeable woman, but Severus respects her love for books. She surely has a worthwhile part in her, the care she shows for the library proves it.
Black walks out of the door and Severus hurries his steps. It is an awful ending in a tiring day. He missed his scheduled studying and he was forced to exist in the same space as Black for more than he could handle.
"I feel greasy all over." Black informs him. An insult spoken too many times, nevertheless it never misses to hurt him. It is sad really, thinking that if he ever gets a job, a real one, the first thing he will buy is cleaning products. Shampoo that its smell will last for hours, not a soap for all uses.
"No retort? Did the grease get to you too?"
"Your stupidity finally tired me out Black." A side glance. "Congratulations."
Severus keeps walking, a step, two until he realises that only his feet echo in the silent hallway. He keeps walking, praying to muggle gods that Black finally left him alone. A new sound and his prayers are left unanswered, as it always happens.
"What happened with Reg?" He asks and Severus sighs. "Did anyone try anything with him?"
Severus laughs. A bitter one. A mockery.
"Please don't play the loving brother to me." He is sure another fight will start as Black looks at him, icy blue eyes.
"Why did he come to you?" He asks, a predator, but Severus has long stopped being prey.
"When one is left alone, he seeks help in the darkest of places." Severus says and he takes a step forward.
"Is he..?" A rare display of weakness.
He doesn't feel sorry for him, not really. He doesn't think he will ever be sorry for Black whatever the circumstances. He is reaping the fruits of his work. Arrogance and power often hold the hands of hurt. It's funny, comical even, to be worried now, now that everything are set in stone. Black had spent his days pretending that he was better than his family, that his House was better than the other three. He pretended he had a brother but his name was James instead of Regulus. Feeling sorry now seems offensive.
"Go to sleep Black. You will forget it in the morning."
Hurried steps and then he is in front of him again, blocking his way.
"Can you not be...?" A furious gesture at Severus' whole. "For a fucking moment."
"Honest you mean?" A raised eyebrow. A cross of his arms.
"A fucking dick." Black tells him.
"I only respond accordingly to the situation."
"Merlin, you are so...I can't fucking believe you."
The problem with self-righteous people is, and in his opinion always has been, that they can't see past their noses, past their ego.
"Will you still love him if he has?" Severus asks and Black takes a step back.
He follows. "Will you still forgive him? What if he kills people you know? What if he hunts your friends, your precious little Potter?"
Silence. He shakes his head.
"He thanked you." Black tells him. "Why?"
Severus never answers him.