Pure Sinners

James had been watching the rugby when the yelling started.

The sound startled him out of his semi-hypnotised state and he wondered if he was supposed to intervene. He stood quickly, ready to stop whatever fight he was hearing when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled out the black device and stared at the screen as though it were a technological marvel. Shit. James finally registered the number as Dumbledore’s and headed out the door as though his life depended on it. 

Once sequestered in an alley about a mile from his flat James redialed the number. Dumbledore picked up on the third ring “Hello” he said, voice distant and robotic.

“Hello Sir” James said using some of those manners his mother had forced him to learn. 

“Ahh James, I hadn’t heard from you for a while. I wanted to check-in. Any developments?” He asked. James frowned, it was true he hadn’t spoken to the chief since the night of the party but surely the man would have contacted him sooner if he thought him to be in trouble. 

“I’ve got some more names for you..” He said quickly, pulling up the photographs he’d taken of the coded files in Lily's room. It had taken him two days to break the code, and even then, parts of it were still nonsense, his girl was a genius. 

 “In addition to the ones I gave you last time I found a few lower-ranking drug dealers that could be busted without blowing my cover..” Dumbledore interrupted him swiftly. “There is little point going after low-ranking members when we can take out the whole organisation with a few well-placed..arrests”. He said arrests hesitantly, as though it wasn’t the word he had originally thought of. 

James shrugged, Dumbledore was the chief for a reason. He would ensure all members got what they deserved eventually, who cares if a few lower ranks got some time to themselves before they did their community service. “ we were right that Johnson was a member before his death. Nott and Malfoy are still high-ranking active members who each control a number of people under them. I’m still looking for information on Willmore and I’ve heard some whispering of the name Peter Pettigrew but I’m yet to find anything concrete.” He told his boss even as betrayal weighed heavy on his shoulders. 

James shook his head - he wasn’t betraying anyone, he was doing his job that was all. He had already decided he wouldn’t be involving Lily, Remus or Sirius in his official reports. As far as the government would be concerned they were never a part of the Shadows and never would be. 

Dumbledore didn’t have their names and James wouldn’t tell him. He owed them at least that, they had been kind to him. They had befriended him and James liked them. He knew deep down they were not bad people. They were only doing what they had to do, why should they suffer for it?

James would ensure they didn’t. 

He was brought out of his thoughts by Dumbledore’s voice “I’ll have them run the names and add them to the files..” He said, taking a large breath before continuing “..The team have found some additional information on Malfoy..” He paused again and James’s ears filled with shuffling papers. “Apparently he’s a scientist..” James fought the urge to laugh, successfully smothering his gawff behind his palm. “Went to Oxford a few years back. He’s been working on something for Riddle..some sort of truth serum. Dr Pomfrey says she thinks it's a hoax, but the paper trail doesn’t lie. Be careful if you’re brought in for any interrogations in the next few weeks - Malfoy thinks the solutions are nearly perfected.” James nodded despite the chief being unable to see him. 

“Yes sir” he said quickly when Dumbledore stopped talking. 

“Do you..” This pause was larger and James was sure he heard the man yawn “..have anything else to report?” He asked sounding throughly uninterested. “No sir” James said glancing at the time - he hadn’t been away for very long but he didn’t want anyone entering the living room and finding him gone. “Good good..” He paused again and James moved to hang up, only stopping when Dumbledore spoke again “And do remember you volunteered for this role. To bring these criminals to justice James, for the good of the people.” 

“Yes sir, goodbye sir,” James said tonelessly before hanging up the phone.   

He hurried home, half expecting to find Lily waiting on the sofa for him. He had been hoping she’d have slept in his room the night before, but he had fallen asleep the second his head hit the pillow to an empty room. He didn’t blame her, they had had a very trying day and the amount of candor they had shared should scare him.

He had told her lots about his mother and shared the pressure he felt to be a good man like his father. She had nodded along, asking questions like she understood and James thought perhaps she did. She had told him a few isolated memories, patching sad stories with soft kisses. James liked that she had shared things with him, it made him feel special - that she could have shared these memories with anyone but she hadn’t. She had told him secrets Remus and Sirius hadn’t known and he had told her things he hadn’t even realised. He had told her about his father's passing, how no one had cared - he told her how guilty he’d felt, how relieved. She had smiled at him and told him it was alright, he had believed her. 

He had told her he was allergic to beestings and she had told him how she disliked blueberries. He remembered how she had looked, pulling a jumper over her head after he had suggested they watch a movie.

“What do you want to watch?” She had asked as the fabric covered her head. James had said nothing, staring openly at the expanses of freckled skin before him.

 “What’s that?” He asked pointing to a small black tattoo on the left side of her ribcage. “Oh..this?” Lily asked pushing her head through the jumper before pulling up the side James was pointing at. “Oh it’s the coordinates of where Riddle found me” she told him with a forced shrug. 

“And this one” James asked pointing to her thigh, still bare as he placed his hand next to it. She smiled and James’s heart warmed against his will.  “Sirius and I both have that one. We got them the day I turned 18, paid a hundred for them both. We didn’t eat for a week” she said the smile with such mirth that James couldn’t help but smile back. The small black flower, looked very real (if a little scraggly) on Lily's skin and James couldn’t resist running his fingers over it. “You’ve seen the other one” Lily reminded him as he opened his mouth.

“Tell me the story” he asked softly and Lily rolled her eyes, turning so he was looking at her back. 

The tattoo ran along her spine and was a series of flowers with a snake hidden in the grass, underneath the picture lay the word ‘it will pass’ in cursive script. The whole thing was beautiful, ruined only by a large scar running through it. The scar began on her left shoulder blade and ran all the way to her right hip. James couldn’t stop his fingers as they reached out to touch the scar, she stilled momentarily but quickly resumed breathing when James dragged his finger down the faded scar. “I got that one years ago..” She started and James was surprised she was telling him, seeing as she hadn’t told him about any of the others (including the large one bisecting her chest, which James had stared at in shock-horror for minutes) and had simply distracted him instead. 

“It was actually all my fault..” He could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke, back still facing him. “I was up in the warehouse. Riddle had requested Malfoy and I come to help him with some recordings..” James felt his police ears twitch, desperate for information. He ignored them, continuing to run his fingers over Lily's back, wondering why she had ever put her jumper back on at all. 

“I was climbing up a ladder. The place was huge so the ladder was really tall. Malfoy offered to hold it for me but I was pissed at him, for obvious reasons” She said as a laugh ran through her. “I said I’d be fine and told him to go help Riddle with whatever he wanted. Stupid really…anyway, I got about halfway up, before the ladder started wobbling.” She turned her head over her shoulder to face James as she emphasised “I mean like proper wobbling”. James smiled and he welcomed the aching in his cheeks. “I slipped and fell all the way down…Hurt like a bitch” she added when James’s fingers stilled. 

“Must have caught my back on the way down. There was blood everywhere, it was a miracle my head didn’t crack open” She was looking at the bed now, as though her next words weren’t meant for James to hear. “Riddle came out, found me in a pool of blood..god he went mad. He was so worried that I..” She cut herself off and shook her head.

 “It’s okay you know” he spoke as she turned back towards him, her jumper falling from her hands, covering her entirely. She raised her eyebrow and James spoke softly “It’s okay to feel something for him, you don’t have to hate him” he told her in some twisted rendition of what she had said about his own father. Her eyes went cold - green Forrests, freezing in seconds. “I feel nothing for Riddle” she told him in a tone that made it apparent she was lying but James didn’t push it. Instead pulling her out into the living room where he played the first DVD he could find. 

He was closing the front door behind him, tucking his burner into his pocket when he heard a loud thud from the corridor containing the bedrooms. James once again wondered if he should investigate. Swiftly deciding against shoving his nose into his friend's business James resumed his television watching. After a few minutes, he was fully engrossed in the sport, only looking away when someone entered the room. Sirius was bleeding and smiling like a madman as he dragged a slightly bedraggled Remus into the room. “W-what happened?” James asked pointing to his nose at Sirius’s confused expression. 

“Oh nothing” Sirius said with a shrug as Remus tucked his right hand behind his back.

James opened his mouth as he locked eyes with Remus. The scarred boy’s face was resigned, as though he expected James to yell at him and simply wished for him to get it over with. “Okay,” he said in a voice he hope displayed his total disbelief but also his acceptance. James watched with satisfaction as Remus’s shoulders slouched and Sirius’s smile widened. 

“Whatcha watching” Remus asked, a peace offering for a crime James didn’t know he’d committed. “The rugby, Wales is destroying us” James said with enough disappointment it was comical. Sirius laughed and the three boys settled onto the sofa. “When’s Lily coming back?” James asked during an ad break, prompted by Sirius’s stomach growling. Sirius shrugged looking quickly between Remus and the floor. 

Remus frowned glancing at the clock before speaking “if she’s not home in an hour, she’s not coming” he said staring at the TV just as the ad break stopped. James looked at the TV, wondering why Remus had said she wasn’t coming as opposed to she wasn’t coming that night. 

She didn’t come. 

The boys ate takeaway pizza paid for by the money in the jar, drank warm beer and laughed until they were gasping for air. James didn’t think of Lily for the rest of the night, the boys seemed not to think of her either as neither said a word about her absence. By the time the clock hit 11, James was dead on his feet. He quickly excused himself as Sirius placed another DVD into the player. “Seriously but you're just about to see the..” Sirius began before being interrupted by Remus “Shush Sirius, he’s obviously shattered. I’ll watch it with you” Remus soothed, voice all honey and sugar. James shrugged internally, stepping into his bedroom - not his box of frogs. 

His bed was cold and he found his mind drifting back to Lily. Where was she? Why hadn’t she come home? She had made it clear she didn’t regret their time together, if anything she had been very clear about wanting to do it again. James had been the one to question if they would get to know each other on deeper levels. He would gladly make that girl his girlfriend. Hell, he’d make that girl his wife, regardless of his mother's thoughts.

James was sure he’d give Lily anything. He’d give her the moon and stars. He’d give her his kidney or his heart. 

James turned in his bed, sheets anchoring his body to this realm even as his mind ascended.

A world of gods and monsters, where everything smelt like honey, whiskey..and her.