Pure Sinners

James was uncomfortable. The bow tie around his neck was too tight and his trousers were too big meaning he had to keep ‘subtly’ pulling them up. 

So far the party had been nice enough, he and Lily had walked through the front door with no trouble. James supposed they looked the part - him in a three-piece suit and Lily in a floor-length red dress with an exposed back - no one had even questioned them upon their arrival and their false names had only been used in light conversation. 

About an hour into the party as he was eating crab cakes from the food table Lily told him to head back towards the door they had entered from and sneak up the staircase opposite. She told him to enter the first door on the left and that Sirius was waiting for him. He did as she asked and as he snuck past a few gossiping waiters he lamented how easy being a criminal was. 

Inside the first room to the left sat Sirius on a lavish bed covered in a green quilt, which highlighted quite nicely the sage accents in the room. “Where’s the boss?” Sirius asked and James shrugged before sitting next to him. 

Roughly five minutes later Lily entered the room followed by two people who looked to be in their late 30’s. James thought they were the owners but what were they doing here?  

“Sirius?” Said the woman as she walked further into the room, her dress a faded sort of gold. 

“Hey Andy,” Sirius said as he walked towards the woman. So he knew them quite well then. The woman stepped forward, a motherly expression on her face as she spoke “I’ve missed you” she said and James couldn’t help but think of his own mother. The other day he had been able to go and move some of his supplies from his flat into his current room, however, he still hadn’t seen Marlene or his mother - it was too dangerous where Riddle could be watching.

The man stepped between Sirius and his wife “What are you doing here? you know you're lots not welcome” he uttered more surprised than angry. They obviously trusted Sirius at least to an extent as neither had tried to run or call the police at the obvious strangers accompanying him.  

“Didn’t have much of a choice Ted. I'm on orders” Sirius said quietly. The couple stumbled backwards fear painting their faces. 

Why were they so afraid? If they knew Sirius they must know he was a robber, what did they have so worth stealing? 

 “Sirius, you can’t do this” the woman, Andy, spoke stepping forward only to be pushed behind her husband again. Sirius looked distraught, there were tears filling his eyes and his hands were shaking. 

 “Lily. I can’t please..” Sirius spoke looking towards the door. James frowned - he used her real name, he couldn’t use her real name otherwise they could identify her. Did the couple know her too? By the look on the couple's faces, James assumed they did not. What was he doing? Lily nodded and Sirius took the position by the door as Lily moved in front of the couple. 

Her heels were quiet on the white carpet. Her red dress trailed behind her like sin incarnate. 

“Lily?” The wife said her eyes wide “Lily?” She asked looking to Sirius who was avoiding eye contact.

“Just me..” the man asked “..leave my wife. Please” he begged. James’s head was spinning, a thick cloud of confusion floating around him. 

They stared at Lily with saucers in their eyes as they clasped their shaking hands together. Lily stepped forwards reaching to comfort the man as he tripped. He fell forward quickly, not having time to cry out as he hit the floor. James watched as his knees bounced on the carpeted floor and the man fell face-first beside his wife’s feet. 

 James thought the man must have fainted but as he saw the red line blooming on his throat he realised this was not the case. 

He was dead. 

The man with the yellow tie continued to bleed out on the floor - gazing at James with unseeing eyes. 

She had killed him, Lily had just committed murder in front of a cop and two witnesses. He looked to Sirius who simply looked sad - there was no trace of surprise, he knew this was going to happen. James looked back to the woman who had known Sirius. She was crying silently but her shoulders were straight and her eyes were hard. 

James wondered what he was supposed to do - Dumbledore had never covered this in his advice. Should he arrest Lily now?

 He knew that if he did not she would kill the woman, but he would lose his connection to the DE. Yes, the woman 'Andy' as Sirius had called her, would die but was she really worth losing the opportunity to take down Riddle organisation? James knew the decision had already been made as he looked back at the woman. 

He stared at her dark wavy hair as he promised her death would be worth something - it was all for the greater good. 

 The woman turned her eyes towards him, likely feeling his stare. His resignation must have been written across his face because the woman held his gaze. James felt himself pale and he briefly wondered what Lily would say if he threw up. The body on the floor was still bleeding. Black blood stained the white carpet as James considered the poetic contrast. 

The woman turned to Sirius again “I’ve missed you, Sirius,” the woman spoke and Sirius let out an uncomfortable gasping sound.  His eyes were closed now, tightly shut against the act about to take place in the couple's bedroom. 

The woman stepped forward and Lily placed a knife to her chest. The knife was sharp with a gold handle and James remembered how the same knife had pressed against his neck - how he had told her he wasn’t scared. 

And as he looked at her lovely face now he realised he was terrified. A thick wave of disgust rolled through him at her beauty, things that took lives shouldn’t be pretty. Murder should never look angelic, all dolled up in a pretty red dress.  

He swayed on is feet, the room tilting around him.

“Do one thing for me..” The woman asked Lily “Tell your father to go fuck himself” she finished as she rushed onto the blade in Lily's hand. Her body crumpled beside the other, wedding vows floated around James’s head.

 ‘Till death do we part indeed.’ 

Sirius released an ugly sound as he fell to the floor a few feet from the body. James was in shock. Her father? Her father. Things were becoming much too clear in the dimly lit room. James’s mind swam with the new information as he stared at the spreading pool of blood by his feet. 

 He felt his shoulders being shaken and the face in front of him belonged to Sirius. “We’ve got to go mate” he said and James agreed they had to go, run far away from the crazy lady with the knife.

He followed Sirius down through the servant's quarters and out to the car. Lily was sat motionless in the passenger seat next to an unassuming Remus. He stopped dead in his tracks, feet planted firmly into the ground. Sirius through a panicked glance over his shoulder, using his strength to force James forward.  “come on, we’ll explain everything once we get back” Sirius's voice was soothing as he buckled James’s catatonic form into the car beside him.

 They changed cars as James wondered how long the bodies would lie their unnoticed by the partygoers. As they climbed the fire escape James wondered how they would tell Remus about the horrors the girl he was holding hands with had committed that night. 

He sat on the sofa as the three bustled about the flat. Sirius made tea and Remus put together some snacks before they came to sit with James. Lily appeared moments later with a bottle of whiskey before sitting next to Remus on the floor in front of the sofa. She raised her arm, carefully twisting the top off the bottle. 

James couldn’t take it anymore. “What the fuck was that?!” He snapped and Sirius looked to him from the other end of the couch - his eyes were impassive but his mouth was tilted into a slight frown. 

James stood abruptly. “You just committed a fucking murder!” He yelled at Lily who calmly sipped her whisky from the bottle. 

“Hey, hey…” Remus spoke softly “let's sit down and we’ll talk about it”. James was bewildered, he had just told this man that the girl next to him killed someone and he wanted to talk. “Remus, she killed two people tonight. She fucking killed them like it was nothing” he accused pointing at the girl of stone by his feet. 

“I know. I know” Remus placated and James was confused. He knew? How could he know? He wasn’t there and no one had spoken on the way home. 

Oh. 

Of course. 

 it had been planned - there had been nothing to steal and he had been told a lie. They had all known the truth because they were a team - because they trusted each other. 

Murder - premeditated - That was the job. 

“You’re all murderers?” He asked sinking into the sofa cushions. Sirius laughed, the sound was hollow and empty. “Not all of us. Just Lily and I.” He said as though discussing the weather. 

“Wh..how..when?” James stuttered, he didn’t know where to start. How did you usually ask a criminal why he had killed someone? 

Someones - plural James assumed based on the group's nonchalance to the current situation.

The two men looked to Lily who shrugged taking a large gulp from her bottle “Might as well tell him everything now” she breathed before smiling sarcastically “After all he’s an accomplice”. James supposed yes, yes he was. He was complicit, he should turn them all in - this second.

 He had allowed her to kill the woman, he could have stopped her and he didn’t. He could stop her from harming anyone else - He should grab his burner and call the police. Call Dufort. 

No, he couldn't do that. He had no proof - only his word which wouldn’t hold in a court of law. And more importantly, if he turned them in now he would never get close enough to take Riddle down. 

If he took them in now the DE would never receive justice, if he handed them over now Riddle would get away. He needed more information. 

Remus reached for the bottle in Lil's hand taking a heavy swig before he spoke “I’ll start I guess” his reluctance was obvious but James was glad he was willing to share anything with him. He mentally recapped everything he knew about Remus: his good grades, his dead mum, his absent dad and suddenly James was desperate to know more. 

“My Dad left when I was 17. I didn’t take it well..” 

Sirius interrupted “understatement of the century” Remus rolled his eyes at the tattooed man and looked back at James. “I was depressed, like really badly depressed. Tried to kill myself a couple of times…” Sirius winced in James’s peripheral but he ignored it, focusing on Remus’s facial expressions as he spoke. 

“..A friend of mine gave me some weed so I could feel better for a bit, and I did. And then weed didn’t cut it anymore so I started popping some pills..” Remus looked down towards his feet and James’s brain somersaulted. 

‘Oh,’ James thought, No. He couldn’t be.  

“..And then the pills stopped working, I-I tried coke but it only made things more intense so one of the guys at the uni - I had somehow ended up in showed me his heroin stash…”

 ‘James’s heart stuttered. 

“..and I was hooked…” Remus smiled softly as though he was telling a story of lost love.  “I spent all my money, dropped out, and was homeless for a month or so before one of my dealers introduced me to Riddle. I was still 18 and had an in with the students in the city so Riddle made me a dealer.” He paused and James wondered what happened because Remus was obviously not a dealer anymore.

“I-i tried to sell it but I ended up using more than I was selling. Lily tried to cover for me…” James looked at the girl who was sat cross legged ripping the label of the whisky bottle. “But Riddle found out. I-i couldn’t make up the cash. I tried to run. Went back to my mums.” Remus paused, eyes fluttering closed as he forced out the words “Place caught light a week later. i made it out, so did mum originally. But the smoke i-it was too much for her in the end.” Remus’s eyes fluttered open again as his hand gestured lightly to his scarred face. James watched the burn ripple as he spoke. “This was the last face she saw” His voice was low and he laughed shortly before bringing the bottle back to his lips. 

“I came back to the city. Desperate for revenge or i don't know. Riddle had some goons beat me up. Told me i’d be finding myself in a grave beside my mam if i didn't find the cash…Lily talked to him for me. She made a deal with him and I joined her team.” James absorbed the story before asking “What was the deal?” The question had been directed to Lily but Sirius answered. 

“Don’t even bother, she won’t tell you. we’ve been asking for years.” his voice was light but his words were not. James took a minute to look at the man in front of him. Remus did not seem like an addict but James had never met one before. He found it hard to envision this sweet boy: who made him breakfast and wore knitted jumpers, injecting foreign substances into his body. Remus washed dishes fastidiously, he cleaned his room till it was sparkling, surely he wouldn’t put drugs into his body like that. 

“I never moved up in rank..” Remus continued after a long pause “You’re supposed to be a blight before you get on a team like this..” He said briefly waving his arm around the room. “Riddle still holds it over our heads sometimes, says he’ll kick me off. Send me back down with the dealers” he finished. 

Sirius jumped in “Yeah, it's a shit lot. But Remus is sober now. Has been for years.” Pride was evident in his tone as he watched Lily sip whiskey. From the way Remus's mouth flattened slightly - James suspected this was not the case, but he didn’t say anything.

Addicts were easy game for most - many a cop had gotten one to spill for a taste and a lighter sentence. James wondered what he’d have to offer Remus for him to pour his guts out. He watched as he rubbed at his inner arm through his jumper and filled the information away for later. 

Sirius spoke again “you wanna go love?” He asked the girl with flushed cheeks and blank eyes. Lily stared at the floor in silence before shaking her head and swigging from the bottle, the brown liquid sloshing against her lips aggressively. 

“I guess I’ll go next then,” Sirius said ripping the bottle from Lily's loose grip. 

“I joined the Death Eaters at 16…” he spoke quickly as though it would make the words leaving his mouth less horrific. “My family were involved in the funding of the DE for a long time, Riddle asked them for a member. Promised said member would be highly decorated and rewarded…” he rolled his eyes. “Mum jumped at the chance, she wanted to send my little brother in. He was only a little bit younger than Lily at the time and she thought Riddle might want them to marry someday…” Sirius spat the words. 

“.. Regulus was terrified. Cried like a baby for hours..” There was a small smile on his face as he spoke of his brother. “..I told my mum I’d join.” His tone was mocking of his title. “..Told her ladies love older men” his joke fell flat but James appreciated the attempt nonetheless. 

“I joined and Lily didn’t like me much..” The girl in question snorted and spoke for the first time since opening the whiskey “you were a prat”. Her voice was hollow but her eyes focused on the boy with something James couldn’t decipher. 

Sirius smiled, eyes crinkling slightly before he carried on “..anyway Riddle made us train together.  I was shit…” his smile was even wider as he spoke of his shortcomings.  “..Lily taught me so I could stand a chance to impress Riddle, and hopefully stop getting my arse handed to me by my father. I did impress him, so much so he made me assist one of the Blessings at the time. Bellatrix, you’ve seen her a couple of times. She’s my cousin.” Sirius paused, “Andy’s sister - She’s batshit.” swigging from the bottle he continued. 

“She took me on a job with her. Some couple, couldn’t have been much older than me now.” He was speaking faster and faster.  “..she found them in their beds and made me shoot them. Right there in their sleep….they didn’t even scream.” Sirius looked at James pleadingly “I was 16 and terrified. There was blood everywhere and she wouldn’t stop laughing. She was so proud of me. The next day I went and told Lily about it.” He looked to Lily as though looking for permission for the next part of the story.  Lily nodded taking the bottle from Sirius’s lap. “Lil was furious. Marched right up to Riddle and told him off.” He smiled again and James felt his eyes move towards the girl against his will.

 “She fought Bella for who would get to have me on their team. Riddle had not thought much of it, until Bella started playing dirty. Didnt help her though.  Lily won, Sent Bella to the hospital and Riddle let me join her team.” James was bewildered, he blinked trying and failing to absorb the information.  Sirius’s smile faded “only found out their names a few years ago. Steph and Mark. They were newlyweds - cops apparently.” Sirius laughed and the sound was grating. “Gave the bitch a parking ticket…” James tried to control the shudder that passed through him. 

 James turned to lily, “How old were you?” He asked praying the answer was older than he thought. “15” came a voice from the floor. James felt sick, how could they let this happen? 

The police had suspicions of Riddle gang for years and they did nothing as he terrorised children. They were scared, of course, they stayed working for him - they were bloody brainwashed. 

 “How many people have you killed?” James asked Sirius. Several emotions passed over Sirius’s face before he answered “3”. The room was silent and James turned to Lily as she chugged the last of the whiskey. She had drunk that fast, James thought. 

“Your turn Mon amour” Sirius said gently and Lily nodded looking into James’s eyes for the first time all night.   

She took a deep breath and in a robotic voice began talking. “Riddle found me when I was around 5 years old on the 23rd of December. My parents died, some kind of robbery gone wrong. I was there I guess,” She shrugged “ ran away or something. Ended up in an alleyway behind a fire station, passed out cold in a rubbish heap, the lorry hadn’t come because of the snow.  I’d been there for hours - At least that’s what the Doctors thought. After Riddle found me and took me to A&E.” James was bewildered Riddle saved her life.

Why would he do that? He wasn’t exactly a kind man. And he defiantly didn’t strike James as the fatherly type. 

“They said I had Pneumonia, and after I got better Riddle took me home. Called me his little kitten, because I was a stray.” Lily paused, swallowing loudly before continuing. “..I started training in hand-to-hand combat at 6. Began my knife work at 8. He taught me how to use a gun and how to trick a lie detector.”

She seemed somewhere far away, her green eyes unfocused. “..When I was 10 he brought in a woman off the streets, and told me she was my sister. She wasn’t that old, maybe 20 or so. He told me that she had left me in the house that night. That she hadn't looked for me because she didn’t love me.” She closed her eyes. “He said she came back because she had decided to love me again. He said she wanted me back, then he shot her in front of me.” James was suspended in time. 10. She was 10 when she first saw someone die.

James had seen his first dead body hours ago at the ripe old age of 25 and he knew he would relive it until the day he died. “The blood went everywhere, it stained my favourite white sundress. I could never wear it again.” The information seemed important to her, that sundress. Lily took a deep breath and looked at everyone in the room. 

“He told me that was what would happen to everyone I loved if I misbehaved. I believed him.” She laughed shakily “I still believe him”. She breathed in sharply and her voice resumed its detached tone 

“A month or so after that he bought me a kitten, for my birthday. It was ginger..just like my hair. I named her Princess. I was playing with her in my room and Riddle came up he handed me a knife and told me to kill her.” Her voice was steady but her hands were shaking “I said no, I wouldn’t do it. He had a gun and held it to my head”. 

She laughed and James shivered “I only got to keep her for 5 days.” This information was obviously new to the other boys in the room as both had lent towards the girl. James held his breath, not daring to interrupt.

“When I was 11 I found him hitting a guy who was tied to a chair. The guy wouldn’t stop screaming and he was bleeding terribly from his hands and-and h-his torso. i-I didn’t understand what was happening and I asked him to stop. He asked me why he should stop..I told him the man was in pain” Lily looked at the empty whiskey bottle by her feet until Sirius got up and brought her another. 

She took a large swig and continued “R-Riddle told me I knew how to put him out of his misery, he handed me a gun. The guy was crying but he had stopped screaming. He begged for it to be over, he begged to die. So I-I killed him.” Sirius’s mouth was opening and closing rapidly. 11. The number wouldn’t leave James’s head. 11. When he was 11 he had been playing football for his school team. When he was 11, he had been asking him mum for bedtime stories. When he had been 11 he had been a child and so had she. 

“A lot of other stuff happened over the years but that’s enough candour for tonight” Lily said and everyone nodded. They didn’t want to talk about it either. “When I was 15, Sirius joined the Death Eaters and I made my first friend. When I turned 17, we moved out here,” she gestured to the shabby apartment around them. “And then we got Remus and now we have you” She looked at him and gave him a smile. It was imperfect and too wide, it was the prettiest thing James had ever seen her wear. 

She took a large gulp of whiskey before handing it to James “You don’t have to tell us why you ended up here, but whenever you’re ready we will listen.” Lily finished and Sirius jumped in “We don’t have much family, in fact, we don’t have much of anything..” he laughed slightly. “..But you’re welcome to any of it.” James looked at Remus the only one who had yet to speak. His gaze was wary, and James watched as he shook his head. 

He smiled as he spoke but it didn’t look quite right. “Welcome to our very dysfunctional family” he said voice deadpan and James laughed despite himself. He took a few swigs of the whiskey before he left the three as they drank and pretended they were normal.  

As he stared at the ceiling of his room James wondered about a lot of things. Should he feel pity for a band of criminals? It was their fault they were in the position at all - wasn’t it? James wasn’t sure anymore, he needed more time. 

Crawling from his bed he found his burner phone which he had tapped to the underside of his bedside table. He messaged Dumbledore to inform him that he had made ‘progress’ but needed more time to gather information. He knew it was wrong to keep information from the chief, especially information about two murders but he couldn’t possibly hand them over right now.  They had committed a horrible crime - but had they? Well, yes Lily had but the other two would be punished alongside her. 

Remus had never killed anyone, he was obviously a good kid but if James were to report him Remus would spend a minimum of 15 years as an accessory and another 2-3 years in prison for possession and distribution - He didn’t deserve that, James knew that much. He just needed more time, maybe he could convince them to give up information on Riddle in exchange for immunity. He scoffed to himself. No judge would allow a criminal like Lily to walk and even a reduced sentence would be unlikely for the girl. 

James’s thoughts were racing. A pendulum swinging backwards and forwards between doing what was best for the city and what was best for his friends. 

They didn’t deserve the punishment he knew they would be given.  What kind of cop was he if he didn’t help those who needed it?  

Sleep. 

James needed to sleep, he could figure everything out in the morning. 

Everything always looked better in the morning.