Pure Sinners

Every inch of Lily's body was aching.

She ran her tongue over the split in her bottom lip as she stumbled up the stairs to her flat. Her legs were leaden and her head was pounding but Lily didn’t much care. The front door swung open without a key and the sound of laughter reached Lily's ears as she crossed the threshold. 

Her boys were sat at the kitchen table, laughing hysterically as Sirius choked on his beer. Remus’s shoulders were shaking rhythmically, his hair lit by the warm glow of the hanging bulb above. Her smile froze, half-formed on her face as she spotted another person in her kitchen. 

Brown was sitting with her boys, drinking her beer, smiling like he’d always been there. 

The pain in her temple redoubled and Lily's vision whited out. She took a step forward, letting the slamming door force her sight open. Three heads were turned in her direction, in varying degrees of concern. Brown at least had the good grace to look apologetic and moved to stand, offering her the rickety chair that she had occupied the night prior. 

Sirius’s hand shot out, dragging the boy back into the chair. Brown looked sheepish, his eyes falling to the wooden table before him. The discolouration on his face was faded by now, just a slight green spotting to his olive skin. His hair was a riot, with black strands standing in every direction. 

Sirius coughed, bringing her attention to his annoyed expression. It had been a very long time since Sirius had been openly displeased with Lily, and now he seemed to constantly be angry at her. 

All because of James Brown.

 Lily straightened her back, tired feet carrying her away from the kitchen as Remus called out her name. The sweet boy gestured to the pizza that lay on the kitchen counter, Two slices left especially for her. Lily sighed, moving to the counter and picking up a cheese-filled slice.

“What were you thinking?” Remus asked, and Lily was sure she would have answered him this time. The pizza was ash in her mouth, and she was filled with an emotion she could not name. Lily said nothing, swallowing dust. 

Remus only spoke as Lily made another move towards the door. “Actually Lily, James had some questions and I thought it best we answer them together” His voice was apologetic and Lily did her best to contain her sigh. Using the last of the strength in her arms trip perched atop the counter, legs swinging as her eyes bore holes into Brown's hollow head. 

"Well?" she asked, her heel hitting the cupboard below. Tremors shot through Lily's nerves but her eyes remained on James. 

His eyes were brown, boring and dull. The colour of coffee with a splash of milk, his lashes were long framing the slope of his eyes in a distinctly feminine way that would have looked strange on anyone else. Lily's lip curled.

“What do you do?” Asked Brown and Lily strangled the groan as it rose in her chest. Remus’s voice filled the space, “There are loads of different jobs, we refer to the groups by different names” He offered, voice scholarly before Sirius interrupted. “Makes it easier to remember who to avoid,” He said with his signature smile. “Ghosts..” Remus continued “Are dealers. Shades are thiefs, Statues focus more on gathering information” Remus's soothing baritone was cut off once again by Sirius “You know, blackmail, extortion, the likes.”His tone was jubilant as he stared at his nails, which were painted in Lily's new black nail polish.

 Remus slapped Sirius on the shoulder, a warning against his interrupting. ”Then you’ve got, Blights and Blessings but they kinda just do a bit of everything. Whatever Riddle’s needs.” Remus's voice drifted off, struggling to find an adequate lie for the highest roles in the shadows. “The levels give us something to strive for, the higher in the ladder, the more privileges, the better the pay, the bigger Riddle's trust in you. Never disrespect someone in a higher rank than you” She warned, surprised by the words she hadn’t known she would speak. Brown nodded slowly absorbing the information, his nose flared and Lily prepared herself for his next question. 

 “what level are you?” He asked, eyes darting around the room. Sirius answered this time, clearly delighted to listen to the sound of his own voice. “Remus's technically a Ghost…” he said absently, leaving no opportunity for response before he continued. “I'm a Blight of course..” his grin widened as painted fingernails gestured to Lily's form, still resting on the countertop. “And Lily here is the greatest blessing a man could ask for” Lily felt her eyes roll, the action only agitating her headache further. 

Remus chuckled softly, only encouraging Sirius’s antics, and Lily raised her fingers to rub at her temple. “Alright, Lily?” Remus asked, his eyes raking over her frame. “Any other questions?” she asked, meeting brown eyes as she spoke through gritted teeth. James shook his head swiftly, eyes darting between Remus and herself. 

She lowered her legs to the floor as quickly as possible, shooting an unconvincing smile towards Remus as her limbs shook. Remus smiled back gently, saying nothing as Lily walked slowly to the doorway.  She kept her spine straight and her strides long until she was out of sight.

Her legs give out as the door to her room closes behind her. 

The white light behind her eyes gave way to black. 

When Lily awoke the sky was still dark and Sirius was sleeping next to her in bed. She tried to roll away from him, the pain jolting the bruising on her ribs. Lily pressed her lips together in an effort to stifle the noise but it was no use as Sirius’s sky-blue eyes snapped open. 

She had been best friends with Sirius Black since he joined the Death Eaters at 16 years old. He had been the only other kid in the gang and they had latched onto each other much to Riddle’s displeasure. They had moved in together once they turned 17, determined to stick together.

Lily had lost count of the number of times she had woken up next to Sirius. He was not just a friend, but also a source of comfort in a world that was becoming increasingly unbearable. Sirius Black was a good man who always found himself in bad situations. He was kind and caring born into the wrong family, with a set of terrible friends. 

Lily used his still sleepy stare to motivate her onto her elbows. Her throat was burning, and her jaw was throbbing steadily along with her heart. Lily looked around the bare room in search of the water glass Sirius refused to sleep without. The messy room was painted a dark shade of green, with decaying plants littering the window sill and a heavy musk of cigarettes and lavender. Her bedside table came into sight, a wonky wooden thing holding a lamp, a battered copy of Keats and Sirius’s bright pink cup.

Lily simply watched as Sirius's hand shot out before hers, wrapping around the glittering cup. His tattooed knuckles misaligned the word 'Love' against the glass. "Here," his voice still gruff from sleep as he handed over the cup to Lily. She had bought it for him when they first moved in, a silly little present intended to be forgotten at the back of their kitchen cupboard. Sirius had adored it, immediately declaring it his favourite and carrying it around constantly.

The straw which Sirius precariously balanced in the glass rolled away from her mouth, forcing Lily to take a large gulp from the rim of the beaker itself. The water slipped across her tongue, forming a painful ball as she swallowed it down. She ignored the sharp sting as it slid down her throat, instead focusing on the small bubbles in the glass and the reflection of her bruised knuckles, warped by the rippling water.

Sirius stood quickly, swinging his legs out of bed and trudging out the door. Lily took another sip of water, waiting with bated breath for Sirius to return. 

He moved quickly back into the room, one hand rubbing his tired eyes as the other extended to her. Sirius smiled widely, unfurling his hand to reveal three little white pills in his palm.

Lily raised a shaking palm, collecting two of the pills and throwing them back with another mouthful of water before handing the glass to Sirius.

His smile was devilish, even in his sleep-addled state. He quickly swallowed the pill, taking the water from Lily before crawling back under the covers.

 “I’m sorry” Sirius blurted out, the words obviously on the edge of his tongue. “Don’t say that. I don’t have the energy to hit you right now” Lily told him sternly, too used to Siriuss pointless apologies.

 “I can send him packing if you want” He offered, Lily knew he was talking of Brown. She smiled, more than a little pleased that Sirius would be willing to kick out their new guest in the middle of the night.

“You like him” Her voice was accusing but Sirius simply wrapped his arm around her small frame, nodding into her shoulder. 

“You don’t” He stated, his breathing evening out beside her. “Go back to sleep Lily” Sirius whispered pulling the covers closer to her chin.

A few hours later Lily awoke again. She could smell cooking from the kitchen and rose to follow it. Not bothering to cover her bruised body beyond a pair of sleep shorts and a jumper she was sure belonged to Remus, Lily headed to the kitchen. She was awfully warm, even in the unheated halls of their home. She ran her tongue over the cut on her lips once again and prayed she didn’t have an infection.

“Whatcha cooking?” she asked Remus who stood in front of the stove. Sirius was talking to James at the table, her mood souring quickly, having briefly forgotten the presence of their little interloper. 

Rolling her eyes as she listened to Remus explain a cooking process she could never hope to replicate. Lily moved towards the table, perching quickly on Sirius’s lap after receiving a scathing look from Remus when her hand brushed the back of his chair. She quickly accepted the mug that Sirius handed her and brought it to her lips.

James was staring at her, his eyes roaming over every inch of exposed skin. Usually, Lily wouldn't mind the attention, but considering the splotches of purple decorating her pale skin she thought the man could find it in him to be a little more subtle. She coughed loudly, eyes meeting Brown’s as he looked away from the handprint she knew painted her cheek. Brown turned his eyes to the kitchen table, his face was quickly turning scarlet and Lily found she vastly preferred him this way - quiet and embarrassed. 

They spoke around her, asking her questions Lily answered but couldn’t recall. Her mind was busy, overflowing with thoughts she couldn’t quiet. Her thoughts stuck on Brown, as her brain rattled around inside her skull. He seemed happy, much happier than one in his situation ought to be. Lily wondered if he was dumb if he didn't comprehend what he had signed up for and the consequences of failure. She wondered what had made him join if he needed money, or perhaps he wanted power. 

She questioned what it would take to make a man willingly sign his life over to Riddle. Whatever it was Lily knew he’d soon figure out it wasn't worth it.

She stood quickly, extracting herself from Sirius’s grip with ease. They had a job on Friday and thanks to her little revenge scheme she was now behind on her reading. 

“I’m going to do some work, don’t bother me unless someone’s dying” she announced before striding into her room and slamming the door.

The files for her team's up coming assignment lay on the floor in front of her bed - her notes were all coded as were the files themselves. Sirius thought it was over kill but Lily wasn’t taking any chances, especially now they had James wandering around. Their upcoming job was simple, much too simple. 

The target was Alistar Moody. An ex-general who was dishonourably discharged for murdering a prisoner of war after they killed his partner in an attempted escape. 

His house was big, the suburban kind with red brick and two chimneys. There were holly bushes lining the edge of the property and no other houses for miles.  Really it should have been a shade job, if not for Moody’s security measures. The man was obviously paranoid and had motion detectors overlooking his front and back doors as well as 3 locks on his back door and 6 on his front door, it was possible there were more security measures inside the house that intel was unaware of.

Lily sighed, Remus could pick the locks but it would take time, making the mission riskier especially with the new guy. None of them knew his skill level or his ability to listen to orders and they didn’t have time to run drills.

Her best window for the job was between 3:02 and 4:05 when the loon had his cort-mandated therapist appointment scheduled. His automatic alarm system could not be disabled and would call the authorities in 3 minutes from the second they stepped inside the house. She was confident her boys could do it in a fraction of the time but appreciated the wiggle room all the same. It was rare nowadays she got a job this easy, Lily suspected it was Riddle’s way of apologising for the south gate fiasco a few weeks ago but she wasn’t going to complain. 

Walking back out into the living room where she found the three boys huddled around the TV aerial, attempting to receive another channel. 

We have a job," she declared, relishing the way James's eyes widened with anxiety. "We're leaving tomorrow at 11 a.m. Remus with me," she added, pointing towards Remus, before leading him down the hallway.

When they were safely sequestered inside she showed him the locks for tomorrow, they would be going in the back but she needed him to keep his time as short as possible. “I’ll see if I can mock up a pick for any of them..” he offered and Lily nodded “…How do you feel about the new guy coming with?” He asked the girl. 

"I don't know," she said honestly. "We have no idea how skilled he is, even if Riddle made him a blight." Her eyes shot up to meet Remus’s, whose mouth was gaping slightly.

 "He's a blight?" he asked, his voice loud but unable to mask the hurt. Lily nodded, not having any words to comfort the man before her. She also had no idea what James had done to earn such a high title, but Riddle had told her in no uncertain terms of James's position and the respect they must all show him.

“Sirius likes him” Lily said for lack of anything else. Remus nodded “He seems shady”, he said as though forcing the words out. “I want to like him but there's just something about him that seems off,” Remus’s voice was guilty and Lily cursed his soft heart. 

“If he does something off, you incapacitate him. I don’t care how you do it...kill him if you have to but you can’t leave any trace”. Lily said and Remus paled slightly. She knew that if it came down to it Remus wouldn’t be able to hurt James, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that he knew she believed his judgment, that she believed him. 

“Alright, ill keep an eye on him” Remus promised, smiling as Lily pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and sat back on her bed. 

Remus moved towards the door, his back straight and gate confident. He made it two paces from the door before Lily stopped him. 

“Hand it over”

Remus feigned confusion before sighing and pulling the baggie out of his shoe. His hand flew through his wavy hair as his eyes searched her face. “how do you always know?” He asked mournfully handing her the package. 

Lily said nothing until the package was firmly in her grasp “Who sold to you?”  Her voice was steady and unyielding. Everyone knew you didn’t sell to Remus, it was a death wish. 

“Mulcuber” he mumbled looking at his feet.

Lily suppressed the anger that filled her as Remus spoke, quickly burying it and trying to look at him with as much gentleness as she could muster. 

"You haven't taken any yet," she stated, even though she already knew he hadn't. She just needed to hear him say it. 

"No," he mumbled, kicking his feet in front of him. Lily frowned, trying to offer him an escape. "Go work on the mock-ups," she suggested. 

Remus looked at her, his eyes already pleading. "You won't tell him, will you?"

They both knew she wouldn’t - she never did. 

As far as Sirius knew Remus had been clean for 2 years, as opposed to the six months of sobriety Remus had actually completed. Remus’s sobriety was fragile, constantly fraught with incidents like today, and Lily was held in the constant fear that one day she’d miss something. 

“Go” she told him waving her hand at the door, not raising her eyes even as she heard the door shut and Remus’s footfalls disappeared.

She stared at the parcel of heroin in her lap for longer than she should have. 

Glancing at the clock she realised it was only 8 o’clock, Mulcuber would likely still be at the pub. Standing swiftly she pulled on her shirt from the day before as well as a pair of faded blue jeans and her worn black Doc martins before stuffing the baggie into her boot. Being careful to keep the noise minimal she inched up the window and climbed out onto the ledge. She moved with ease along the ledge to the fire escape and began the descent to the dirty London streets below. 

The pub Mulcuber was likely to be at was the Hog’s Head, it had a reputation and anyone with any survival instinct avoided the bar without question. Lily followed the streetlamps, tiptoeing carefully around the muck that began to litter the path towards the darker side of town.

 As Lily pushed open the swinging door to the pub she supposed the reputation was well earned; men in varying different states of paralysis lounged against the wooden tables as they gambled, drank or shot up. Lily passed unnoticed through the throng of patrons, spotting Mulcuber at a small table in the corner of the room. 

 “Well, well look what the cat dragged in, if it isn’t our own little kitten” he said leering at Lily through her shirt.

She cringed, swallowing her pride as she sat down next to him. Her knee brushed against his as she slid as close to him as she could stand. She forced herself to smile, making her eyes look nervous and shy “umm I-i heard that you could maybe get me something”. Her voice was a whisper as she looked around each corner of the bar. The man smiled, obviously seeing an easy mark.  

She and Mulcuber had never had much interaction. She knew he was a Ghost, but she also knew he had never seen her fight. He was likely dimly aware of her rank but assumed, as most did that Riddle had a soft spot for her and bumped her up because of that. It wasn’t an unfair assumption - there were only four ‘blessed’ individuals in the Death Eaters: Thronos Nott, Antonin Dolov, Malfoy, and herself.

She was by far the youngest of the group and also the only female, leading many to their own conclusions about how she earnt her place. Lily rolled her eyes internally as she placed her hand on Mulcuber’s forearm before leaning in and whispering in the most sultry voice she could muster “I’ll give you whatever you want for it”. 

Mulcuber smiled; a horrible thing full of blackened crooked teeth but she forced herself to blush. He downed his beer and took her hand in his, leading her out of the Pub. She didn’t worry too much about being seen leaving with him, most of the patrons were too shit-faced to remember her and the others knew the rules.

Snitches didn't last long in the Death Eaters.

She allowed Mulcuber to lead her into a back ally. Resting against a dumpster, as he fumbled through his pockets. Lily smirked and struck like a viper. 

The man was howling on the floor, clutching at his bloody feet as he wailed in pain.Lily had made two slashes with her knife one behind each ankle, taking the man down and ensuring he wouldn't be getting up anytime soon. The short blade dripped blood as she twisted it around her fingers, the sticky liquid still warm as it ran down towards her palm.

She propped the panting man against the ally wall, making a face as she spoke dumbly.

 “Oh I don’t need you to sell me anything. I’ve got this” Her tone was vapid as she unfurled the baggie. Mulcubers eyes widened, realising their meeting was no accident “You see, you sold this to a good friend of mine. A friend you and everyone else knows is on the blacklist. I came to ask you why”. 

The man whimpered as Lily's foot landed on his kneecap, his outstretched leg bending backwards with the pressure. His silence irritated her, she applied more pressure until Mulcuber was spewing out his answer “he came to me. I just gave him what he wanted” he pleaded. Lily nodded, lifting her foot off Mulcuber’s knee and waiting for the relief to enter his eyes before slamming it down again. The sound of his shattering knee cap was muffled by Mulcuber’s cry of pain. 

Lily rolled her eyes as he screamed for help, no one was coming.

  “What part of blacklist don’t you understand?” Lily asked angrily as her frustration bled out into the world. “Do you know how hard I worked to get the message across that no one was to sell to him” Her words filled the alleyway as she began pacing in front of the man. He was no longer screaming, but the steady stream of his sobbing was giving her a headache.

“P-please” he stuttered again, as Lily knelt before him. 

She shushed him, opening the baggy that had been dangling in her clenched fist. “You understand how hard it was right?” She asked. He nodded profusely as she pulled Remus’s supplies out. “You understand then don’t you, why I can’t just let you leave” she asked the sobbing man at her feet.    

The substance was dark and Lily could already tell it was bottom of the barrel. Her fury returned, the fire in her veins warming the air around them. “It would be bad form.” Her voice was cruel and she was sure if Remus could see her now, he wouldn’t recognise her. She didn’t care, she needed Mulcuber to hurt. Someone had to pay for this. 

She didn’t bother heating it, it wouldn't matter soon anyway. Plucking a fresh needle from the bag, she sucked the substance into the tube. She stared at it then, at this little thing that had such power over the strongest man Lily knew. She stared unblinking at the thing that would send him to his knees for a taste. She drew back the plunger further and watched as air filled up the negative space above the viscous liquid.

She blocked out Mulcubers desperate cries as her fingers reached for his left sleeve, rolling the loose material up above his elbow. Her gamble about Mulcubers usage paid off, his forearm and inner elbow were covered in track marks. She placed the needle on his skin and punctured his pulsing vein. 

He wouldn’t last long.  

Mulcubers eyes were clear, his mouth drawn into a small line that made Lily's heart clench. Someone would find him in the morning, a runner or a businessman on his morning commute, the police would be called. His body would be scooped up, and cause of death stamped before the post-mortum was even ordered. He had no family, just an ex-wife wasting away in an i-max somewhere north. No one would care, no one would cry for a dead dealer.

 “Fuck you, you stupid bitch..” His words were angry, slurring together as he tripped over each one. “You’re nothing! Riddle should have left you to die in that fucking gutter” his eyes were fluttering and his arms were shaking.  His mouth was still moving, the words turning into a mindless melody. He was spitting at her, eyes bloodshot as thick red oozed out of his left nostril. He began spluttering, choking and gasping for air. 

There was so much noise. 

 And then there wasn’t. 

Lily used the edge of Mulcubers shirt to wipe away her fingerprints before placing the empty syringe in his right palm. She said nothing, simply stood staring at Mulcuber’s cooling body before turning down the alley before her and emerging back onto the street. She walked in silence under the yellowing streetlamps, watching the people as they rushed around.

 A couple into a restaurant, hands interlinked and giggling.

 An old man at the bus stop glanced at his watch. 

When she finally arrived home, the flat was dark. Remus sat nursing a cup of coffee at the kitchen table, he’d obviously been waiting for her. Fighting the urge to push past him to her bedroom Lily walked toward him. He stood as he saw her, his arms wrapping around her before she could say anything. “I'm sorry..” he whispered, “..I just couldn’t..”. Lily interrupted him “I know” she said simply and rested her head on his chest. The silence held for a few minutes, the only sound the slight swish of Remus’s pj’s as they swayed. 

“Your back on the blacklist,” she told Remus, moving her head to look him in the eye. His grip on her body became vice-like and Lily fought not to react as her bones bashed against each other. Remus blinked and the pressure vanished. He nodded looking all at once angry and grateful

“Go to bed” she told him and he did as she asked, stopping only to kiss her forehead as he let her go. Lily turned back to the doorway slipping out onto the building staircase and climbing all the way to the roof. She wasn't supposed to go up on the roof, in fact, her landlady had expressly forbade it but it was quiet and cold and Lily never got caught.

She sat on the edge, staring down at the ants on the ground. 

No one could prove it was her. No one would even think it had been deliberate, it was just an accident. 

Accidents happen all the time, especially to people like Mulcuber. People like her.

He deserved it: he was a criminal he prayed on the vulnerable.  

He killed them with his impure products and he didn’t care. 

He could have hurt Remus. Her Remus. 

No one would mourn him. 

No one would mourn.

Lily sat on the edge of the rooftop until the sun rose and sirens sounded.