Chapter 2
She wrote a letter to Remus, then one to Mrs Snape.
Remus replied, his letter was full of grief and betrayal, his words carried his sadness and despair with the precision of a blade, but he was also angry, all his chances in life had been taken away by his so-called friends and he could not forget that.
But he wouldn't help, though he wouldn't stop them.
Eileen Snape didn't answer.
When Lily returned for the summer, she was told by her mother, who smothered her even more now that Severus was dead, that Eileen had killed herself a week after her son's death. Tobias Snape was found dead in a ditch two weeks later, several empty bottles beside him.
Her sixth year started slowly, she still didn't talk to anyone, she was busy creating her plan, she focused most of her attention on her Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts classes and spent most of her time in the library, in the restricted section. The librarian adored her and seemed to take pity on her, allowing her free access.
Today she was researching spells that could remove all traces of magical presence from an area of at least a mile.
Sitting on a dinghy table in the restricted section, she was idly flicking through the pages, her eyes scanning without reading, when her perfectly manicured hand appeared on her book.
"That's a very old book you're reading, Miss Evans," Narcissa Black's velvety voice echoed in the dark library.
Lily lifted her head, "Indeed. What can I do for you Miss Black?"
The blonde allowed her red painted lips to break into a perfectly controlled smile, "I'm surprised to see someone like you reading something like this."
The redheaded girl snorted, "Someone like me? A Mudblood? Despite what you may think, Black, I love this world and it is as much mine now as it is yours. I belong here and I will help to improve our society," she concluded.
Narcissa grinned sincerely, "If all Muggle-borns could be like you, it would make everything easier," the former Slytherin moved from her seat to stand directly behind Lily, "I know you want to avenge Severus, I have seen how dedicated you have become to your studies and magic. You are preparing something."
Lily gripped the edge of the table, "Just because you've become a professor's assistant doesn't give you the right to pray in the students' business, Black," she seethed.
When Narcissa Black became Professor Slughron's assistant, it surprised more than one; after all, she was the daughter of Lord Black's brother and betrothed to the future Lord Malfoy; a woman of such status had nothing to do as a mere assistant.
A rich, velvety laugh echoed around the room, "I don't pry into the students' business, Miss Evans," she paused, a sufficient smile on her aristocratic face, leaned close to Lily's ear and whispered, "Only yours," then left the room.
- - - ✦ - - -
In October, Marlene and Mary decided it was time for Lily to get over Severus' death.
"Come on Lily, we're going to Hogsmead, come with us!" Mary called, her curly brown hair hidden under a huge shawl and a red cap.
She sighed, "No thanks" It had been a while since she had been alone in the common room, so she was going to enjoy it. She used to sneak Severus in when everyone was either in Hogsmeade or enjoying the sun.
"Please Lily! I feel like it's been ages since the three of us were together!" Marlene whined, trying to get her to move from the couch.
"I said no," she snapped, removing her arm from Marlene's grip.
The girl huffed, "Oh Lily, it's been over six months now! Besides, you and Severus weren't really friends anymore!"
Something snapped inside Lily, who had felt distant and cold towards everyone and everything since Severus' death.
She slapped Marlene.
And when the girl gave her an indignant look, she slapped her again, "You bitch, Severus was my friend! And yes, I was awful to him and now I would never get to apologise because he is dead, sent to be mauled by a werewolf by someone our own age, someone he laughed with, ate with and I feel like nobody in this bloody house cares because it is only Severus Snape who has died!" "Severus was brilliant and kind and everyone failed to see that and I will never forgive myself for not being there for him!"
Marlene and Mary and the few others who were still in the common room looked at her in bewilderment.
"Seriously Marlene, how can you expect to be OK when someone I knew for seven years has died? I saw his body, how..." She could not finish her sentence, the vision of Severus' broken body still haunting her.
"I... I'm sorry, Lily," Marlene stammered before hurrying out of the room, Mary at her heels.
Feeling definitely uncomfortable in the common room after her outburst, she made her way to the library, but as she crossed the courtyard a hand grabbed her and slammed her against a pillar in a hidden alcove.
"What the...?"
"You're going to Hogsmeade, Miss Evans, and you're going to have a glass of something at the Hog's Head."
"And why would I do that?" Lily asked Black, who was still holding her against the wall, but her grip was not strong.
Black smiled her predatory smile, "For Severus, of course" and then left as quickly as she had appeared.
"Who does she think she is? I do whatever the hell I want!"
- - - ✦ - - -
With a glass of beer, or something similar - she didn't want to know the composition - Lily waited gloomily, she was bored and had explored everything the library had to offer, so she went to the Hog's Head. It has nothing to do with Black command.
"Hello," she turned her head to her right, where a strikingly handsome man, probably in his thirties, was sitting next to her.
Lily sighed, "I'm sixteen."
The brown-haired man chuckled, "Yes, seventeen, the 31st of January."
She felt a shiver of fear run down her spine, "Who are you?" The stranger had perfectly coiffed hair like a man of the fifties, pale skin, chocolate eyes and an easy smile on his lips. He wore perfectly tailored forest green wizard robes. But despite his impeccable appearance and charming smile, Lily felt uncomfortable.
"Call me Tom, Narcissa and Lucius have told me a lot about you." Even his voice was perfect, velvety, serious and open.
Lily frowned, "Lucius Malfoy? We only had one year together at Hogwarts and Narcissa Malfoy two, well she's here this year too... What did they say about me?" She was genuinely curious to know what such a prominent person in pureblood society could say about her, not the nice thing she expected.
"Lucius had contacts at school," the stranger, Tom, said simply.
"Ah, the Slytherins," she took a sip of her beer and grimaced.
"Yes, Narcissa likes you, she found you... how did she put it? Ah, like a will-o'-the-wisp
Lily gave him a bland look and he laughed, the sound rich and sophisticated, "Indeed, purebloods and their metaphor".
"You're not a pureblood?" She was surprised, a man like him...
"Half-blood, actually," he said, a small smile playing on his lips.
Lily was definitely lost. "What do they want? What do Malfoy and Black want?"
Tom leaned against the counter, "To recruit you of course, you are a brilliant witch by any standards, you saw how unfair the system was with the Severus Snape affair, how James Potter and Sirius Black got away so easily".
"Recruit me...?" She whispered, a dawning realization coming over her, "Voldemort wants to...No!" She protested, "Never!"
Tom chuckled, "No need to panic, you have time to think about it, but the proposal stands, help us to change the wizarding world, to improve our society, which is stuck in the past and late by several centuries compared to Muggles, and to make magic its core again. Narcissa told me how invested you were in your studies and the laws of our Ministry, you saw how archaic and primary they were. Your friend Severus and Remus were victims of that system."
Lily shook her head, trying to ignore how his words hit her, "No, Voldemort wants to kill or enslave Muggles and believes in inequality between bloods. I'm Muggle-born, Voldemort would never recruit me."
"And who told you that?" Tom whispered with an arrogant smile on his face.
She didn't answer right away, searching her memory "Dumbledore..."
"And where is Dumbledore now? What has he done?" Tom grinned now.
Lily snarled, "He tried to cover up Severus' murder."
"Exactly, Dumbledore is no paragon of virtue and everything he has said is not the truth."
She blinked, feeling conflicted and angry at being conflicted. Voldemort was a monster, she had berated Severus so much for spending time with the likes of Mulciber and Avery, who were future Death Eaters, and now she was considering... She just wanted to avenge Severus, Potter and Black were free and... it was unfair.
Tom handed her a cream-coloured card with an hour and a place written on it in shiny forest green, "This card is a Portkey that will activate at the specified hour and transport you to Malfoy Manor where a ball is being organised so that we can all discuss our ideas. You have one week to think about it, Lily." Then he stood up, tossed a galleon on the counter and left.
For the rest of the week, Narcissa Black watched her like a hawk.
- - - ✦ - - -
She couldn't shake the feeling that she was betraying her entire family, it stuck to her skin. She was in her bed, dressed in a beautiful satin dress that fit her perfectly, it was long sleeved and the cleavage was thankfully not too important, she felt comfortable in it and it made her feel guilty as hell, her hair was pulled back in a bun and she had emeralds in her ears and around her neck, and apparently it was a masked ball so she also had a deep green mask decorated with tiny emeralds carved into holly leaves, the berries were not red, they were real diamonds, it was beautiful and if she sold it now she would probably be a millionaire. Everything she wore had been given to her by Narcissa Black.
The card was in front of her, she had five minutes before the Portkey was activated.
She had hesitated all week until her curiosity had won out, she had made the mistake once of hearing only one side of the story and ignoring the other, and it had resulted in Severus' death.
She needed to hear what Voldemort had to say, as she had already heard Dumbledore's side, who, according to some of her classmates, was still recruiting for his army against Voldemort, but with little success. McGonagall, the new headmistress, had asked her if she wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix.
"Given that your incompetence and blatant favouritism led to the death of a student, I am inclined to say no," she had replied curtly.
"Miss Evans, Mr Snape's death was an accident, Mr Black didn't..."
She had turned and glared at the Headmistress, "Don't you dare say he didn't mean it, he damn well meant it! He just didn't think he would succeed and when he did, he got away with it!"
And now she was ready to go to a Death Eater party.
8pm arrived and she grabbed the card, she felt as if her body was being sucked into a tiny hole and she landed in the most perfectly mown patch of grass, several people were already queuing in front of her to enter the... Jesus, was it a castle? The building was massive and made of grey stone, soft blue wisteria climbing the walls in a seemingly uncontrolled manner, but she noticed a pattern that repeated itself, it was surrounded by perfectly tended gardens and flower beds of every kind of flower, from the common tulip to the rare arum titan. It was overwhelming.
She stood in the queue, clutching the card and looking around like a trapped rabbit, everyone talking to someone, laughing, wearing dresses and robes and masks that probably cost more than her parents' house and car.
Slowly she approached the entrance to the manor, when it was her turn she handed her card to a young female house elf wearing a crisp white tunic with the black and green Malfoy crest and entered the astronomically large ballroom, the theme seemed to be winter or snow as everything was white, from the napkin to the walls and floor, even the cutlery she noticed with astonishment, and everyone was wearing the same green as herself.
She could feel her heart pounding, she felt terribly alone and vulnerable in the middle of people who probably wanted her dead, she saw Narcissa and Lucius side by side with two older blonde people around them, probably Malfoy parents, they were all talking to a couple and their son so she didn't go their way.
Feeling definitely out of place, she hesitantly made her way to the buffet where she delicately grabbed a puff pastry filled with something she didn't know but which was definitely delicious, she paused thirty seconds before taking another, a house elf offered her a cup of red wine which she graciously accepted but tried to suppress a grimace at the taste.
"You prefer Aberforth beer to a Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 1978?" An amused voice came from beside her, she recognised Tom immediately, she turned to him and quickly devoured her fifth pastry, she noticed with some surprise that he was dressed entirely in red, from his leather shoes to his mask of hundreds of rubies cut into tiny blades.
"I'm sorry, but what you said made no sense to me," she said, handing him her glass, unable to bear the bitter taste of it.
Tom laughed out loud, attracting the attention of everyone around them, "You're only sixteen after all, here," he snapped his finger and a house-elf immediately appeared, "Bring us a glass of Merlot, a... Château La Fleur Petrus, it's a good start."
"Right away, master." And he disappeared with a bang and a glass suddenly appeared in her hand. She took a small sip.
"Hum, it's better, but not as good," she finished, which only made Tom laugh.
"It's wonderful to see you here, come with me, I want to introduce you to someone" He took her hand gently and didn't let her answer before pulling her through the crowd. Lily felt a little overwhelmed by the looks people kept giving her. Sure, the most handsome man she had ever met was holding her hand, but there was no need to look at her like that.
They finally stopped in front of a woman, with the mask it was hard to guess her age but if Lily had to hazard a guess she would say around forty, she was next to a man, probably her husband, who was having a very intense discussion with another man.
"Lillian? May I present Lily Evans?" Tom caught the woman's attention and she immediately straightened and bowed, "Lily, this is Lillian Selwyn, née Prince, she was Severus' aunt."
Lily widened her eyes, "Oh...I...it's a pleasure to meet you Madam, I'm sorry I didn't know Severus had an aunt..."
The woman gave a sad little smile, "I had no idea my sister had a son, we lost contact after she ran away for her Muggle life," she grimaced, "But the death of my nephew, even though I never knew him, saddened me, my father and mother were also very distraught to learn of their grandson's existence by learning of his death."
Lily nodded, trying to test the water, "I think it is a scandal how Potter and Black got away with what they did, while Remus, who was just as much a victim, being used as a weapon, was despised by society".
She expected a cry of outrage, not the intervention of Lillian's husband. "You are quite right, my dear, allow me to introduce myself, Aloysius Selwyn, I was deeply disturbed by Lord and Lady Potter's actions to buy their son's freedom, at least they saved Mr Lupin."
Lillian sighed, "Walburga is delighted with her son's actions, her thirst for blood knows no bounds and Lord Black is doing nothing, she has him completely wrapped around her finger".
Her husband snorted, "How the power has fallen, the House of Black is not what it used to be, inbred and sadic, I tell you".
Lily felt as if she had entered the fourth dimension and couldn't keep her mouth shut, "I thought inbreeding was encouraged in the Pureblood Circle.
Aloysius and Lillian laughed “Sounds like Dumbledore words, darling, we are not fools, everyone knows that marrying each other is a bygone era, the Black being a prime example, and don’t get me started on the Gaunts” Lillian kicked her husband's side.
Tom who hadn’t said a word since tensed slightly before relaxing “You are right Aloysius. It is a bygone era” He said looking very intently at Lily who felt like an ant under the eye of a giant. Then he gulped his glass and left suddenly.
Lillian huffed “There you annoyed him, we don’t talk about the Gaunt !”
Aloysius sighed “He is so...anyway, I wanted to share my sincere condolences for the loss of your friend”
She felt the sudden need to cry and managed to choke weekly “T...Thank you, my most sincere condolences to you both as well” She paused and added in a whisper “Severus was wonderful and so brilliant, he would have changed the world”
Lillian spoke quietly, "He was going to be the next Lord Prince, Father didn't like the fact he was half-blood, but I think it would have been a good thing."
Her husband took her hand and squeezed it gently, "We will help Benedict with his extra responsibilities, he always knew he would have two titles anyway
Lily blinked, "Benedict Selwyn is your son?" He was a Ravenclaw, introverted and brilliant in Runes; they often paired up for group work.
Lillian smiled genuinely, "Yes, he has told us about you, he is happy to have you as his partner, he wants to become a Rune Master and his scores mean a lot to him".
Aloysius hummed his agreement, "Indeed, but now he is to become Lord Selwyn-Prince and we are afraid that would be too much, he is... sensible and not very interested in politics. The House of Prince is of higher standing than the House of Selwyn and the added responsibility frightens him to know the end".
"If only I could have had another child," Lillian whispered.
Lily felt uncomfortable in front of this couple who were clearly very distressed, but at the same time she felt vindictively happy that Severus' death had had such an impact, it was a twisted and strange feeling.
Absently she said, "I think Severus was working on a potion that would make it easier to conceive," she remembered Severus telling her excitedly that he had received an order from the Dark Lord himself to create this potion, at the time Lily had thought it was just to have more soldiers in his army, but now... maybe it was because so many purebloods had fertility problems?
Lillian perked up "Really?"
She nodded "Yes, I know where his notebook is. I'll send it to you, it's yours anyway. I don't know if he finished it."
"That would be wonderful Lily, thank you very much," Aloysius said, sounding genuinely grateful.
After their conversation was over, Lily decided to go back to school and used one of the Floo to appear in the common room. It was well past midnight, she had an early morning lesson and a lot to think about after what she had learned.