"Dobby, NO!" Steve Rogers yelled as the house-elf launched himself at Loki, wielding a sharpened candy cane and a live grenade.
"DOBBY IS A FREE ELF AND DOBBY DOES AS HE PLEASES!" the elf screeched, biting into Loki’s arm with the force of a rabid raccoon.
Thor took one look at his adopted brother flailing and sighed. "This is getting out of hand."
"Oh, it got out of hand when he replaced all our weapons with baguettes last week," Natasha deadpanned, deflecting an alien blast with what should have been her combat knives but were now two aggressively stale loaves.
Meanwhile, Tony Stark hovered overhead, suit covered in sock prints, watching in horror as Dobby teleported onto the back of a Chitauri, grabbed its antenna, and yanked, steering it like a demented space motorcycle.
"HE RIDES THE BEAST! HE DOMINATES THE SKIES!" Dobby howled, eyes glowing with eldritch madness.
"I am Groot," Groot said.
"No, we are NOT letting him near the Infinity Gauntlet!" Rocket snapped.
Suddenly, a portal opened mid-air, and Wong poked his head through, looking severely exasperated. "Can someone please collect their rabid house-elf? He has broken into Kamar-Taj again. He stole the Time Stone and is—oh sweet Vishnu, HE'S HERE."
Dobby materialized in front of Wong, holding up the Time Stone like a forbidden treasure. "DOBBY CONTROLS TIME NOW! DOBBY EXISTS IN ALL REALITIES AT ONCE!"
"Oh, we are so screwed," Bruce muttered as the universe began to warp around them, socks raining from the sky.
Somewhere in the multiverse, Thanos sneezed. He did not know why, but for the first time in his existence, he felt fear.
Dobby giggled maniacally, his tiny hands crackling with raw cosmic power. "Dobby will FIX EVERYTHING. Dobby will FREE ALL!"
And then, the timeline shattered.
In an alternate reality, Dobby sat upon a throne made entirely of mismatched socks, the defeated remnants of fallen foes decorating his domain. At his feet lay the defeated forms of Doctor Strange, the Scarlet Witch, and an extremely confused Deadpool.
"Okay, I gotta admit, I did NOT see this one coming," Deadpool said, rubbing his masked face. "This is, like, some level-ten chaos gremlin nonsense."
"Dobby's reign is eternal!" The house-elf proclaimed, waving a sceptre forged from Mjolnir and an enchanted ladle stolen from Asgardian kitchens.
Loki, now shackled in sock cuffs, groaned. "This is humiliating."
"You think?" Tony’s voice crackled over a holographic transmission. "Elf Supreme has taken over seven realities and turned them into sock-worshipping cults. We have got to stop him."
"Dobby WILL NOT BE STOPPED!" the elf cackled, now donning the Infinity Gauntlet, each slot filled not with Infinity Stones but with different-coloured toe socks. With a single snap of his fingers, reality itself unravelled, reshaping the cosmos into a realm of eternal fabric and unholy footwear.
As the Avengers watched in horror, Hulk sighed. "You know what? I give up. This is beyond science."
And thus, the Age of Dobby began.