In Spirit
Marlene McKinnon has nothing against being dead, if anything, it’s better than being alive. She can basically do whatever she wants because she’s dead. She doesn’t have to worry about expectations or rules. Oh, she can’t wait till Sirius is dead. They will make so much trouble.
Okay, that’s pretty messed up. But, hey, she misses Sirius.
Sure, the nightmares haven’t left her. Sure, the scars haven’t left her body. But what else hasn’t left? Dorcas. Her Dorcas.
Dorcas died only two months after her and part of Marlene felt… relieved? She felt selfish as she watched Dorcas die but… she missed her so much. It’s not… healthy, the way Marlene is thinking. She missed Dorcas more in the two months than they were apart than ever and part of Marlene never wants to feel that again.
It felt like a part of her was left on Earth. A part of her heart ripped out and placed into Dorcas.
God, she fucking missed Dorcas.
“Marls, I think we should go see Regulus. Or at least I should. And you go see James,” Dorcas says, coming over with a cup of coffee.
“I don’t want in the middle of their gay bullhshit right now,” Marlene whines, slumping down Dorcas’s side.
“We are gay bullshit.”
“Yeah, but not as complicated as they are. Did you hear Regulus last time we were over there? Oh, I love James but I’m too scared to talk to him!” Marlene dramatically throws her hands up, making Dorcas smile.
Marlene melts when she sees Dorcas smile. Part of her thought she wouldn’t see that again for years. Until Dorcas is gray and old and Marlene is stuck as a twenty-one year old.
Okay, maybe Marlene is a bad person for being happy that Dorcas is dead.
“Whats that look for?” Dorcas says.
“You’re so prettyyyyyy,” Marlene says, gazing up at Dorcas with stars in her eyes. Dorcas rolls her eyes, the corner of her lips turning up.
“Really, you should go see James.”
“Ugh, but I hate him,” Marlene groans, already getting up to put clothes on.
“You don’t hate him.”
“I do!”
“Put some pants on, Marlene!”
Marlene giggles, wiggling her bare legs through the door frame. Dorcas groans but she can’t stop the smile from creeping onto her face.
“You’re so weird.”
“You love me.”
“That I do.”
——
“James, honey, what do you want for breakfast?” Effie asks, pushing a glass of water towards him. He came home after Grouping, not even caring to look at his own Paradise. He laid down in the bed he claimed as his own and didn’t come out.
“I think he’s just tired.” Lily had said, “Merlin was asking a lot of questions.”
Lily had left to her own Paradise later that night.
“Can you make biscuits and gravy?” James mumbles, his voice quiet and childish.
“Your favorite?”
James nods, his eyes looking at the glass of water.
Effie nods, moving into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Yes, she knows she technically doesn’t need to cook. All of their dead bodies don’t need nourishment, yet, Effie feels the need to cook, to care.
Effie remembers when James was 6, dragging Peter and Marlene, hand in hand, inside the house. They were muddy and messy, but grinning so wide.
“Mama! Mama! Can you make me and my friends sandwiches!” Little James had asked, bouncing up and down. Effie had smiled, wide, turning to make Little James his sandwiches.
When James started Hogwarts, the only thing he asked from his mother was food.
“Mama?” Little James had said, walking down the stairs in his red pajamas. It was the day before he boarded the train, he didn’t show it, but he was scared. “Can you make me cookies for tomorrow?”
Effie stayed up all night making her little boy cookies.
Then, when James was sixteen, he brought Sirius home with him.
“Mama, this is my best mate, Sirius. I told you about him. Can you make us some food? It’s been a long day.”
Sirius, well, looked exactly as James described him. He was shorter than James by a couple inches. His black hair was long and to his shoulders. He had tattoos all over his skin, but most importantly a moon, stars, sun, and a shooting star underneath his ear.
Later that night, over the food Effie made, Sirius explained what happened.
Effie knows that Sirius going to Azkaban has taken a toll on James, even if he won’t say it. She plates up his food with a sigh, pushing it towards him.
“Eat, honey.”
James’s head snaps up at the sound of Sirius’s voice. Fleamont had used his gadget to put Sirius on the TV, hoping to comfort James’s a little.
“You’re not fun, Rodolphus. No wonder Bella married you,” Sirius groaned. He’s literally doing cartwheels around his cell.
Fleamont let out a bark of laughter, watching as his adopted son cartwheeled around his cell. Effie smiled.
James, well, the corners of his lips turned up.
“You’re a dick, Black.”
“Tsk. Tsk. Watch your tongue, Lestrange.”
From the cell over, Bellatrix starts laughing.
Then, all of them start laughing. James, Sirius, Effie, Bellatrix, Fleamont, and Rodolphus. All of them are laughing. Not together. But together. In spirit.
“Merlin, Sirius does not take imprisonment well,” James says, smiling for the first time in a week.
“No, he does not,” Effie laughs, shaking her head as she cleans the counter. She looks over at her son. James is actually eating his food, smiling at the TV screen.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. Fleamont gets up from the couch with a groan, walking to the front door.
“Oh, hello, Marle-“
Marlene jolts past Fleamont and right into James’s arms.
“Marls-“ James starts, surprised by her sudden entrance.
Holy fuck.
Okay, James knew that Marlene was dead. But for some reason he wasn’t expecting to see her.. hold her.. hug her. She smells the same way she always did. Cigarettes and lemons.
“Hiya, James,” Marlene says, pulling back from the hug with a goofy smile.
“Marlene… you’re… here,” James mumbles, reaching a hand up to mess with her earring.
“In the flesh. I’m not technically alive but-“
“Marlene,” Effie says, shaking her head. She turns her head so Marlene can’t see the smile creeping onto her face.
“Oh! Mrs. Potter. I’m sorry.. to um.. burst into your home like that,” Marlene mumbles, sheepishly. She rubs the nape of her neck, her short blonde hair coming up.
James glances between them and then bursts out laughing.
“No.. way….” He breathes out, clutching his ribs.
“What?” Marlene looks confused, her face slightly pink. James takes her hand and pulls her down so he can whisper.
“No way you still have a crush on my ma.” Marlene pulls back, her face even more red. James sees it, and bursts out laughing again.
“What’s so funny?” Effie says. Marlene goes so red she looks like she’s about to explode.
“N-nothing, ma, nothing!”
——
Regulus is sitting in Evan’s Paradise, his feet in Evan’s lap. Dorcas is braiding her own hair, leaning against Regulus’s side. They are all silent, watching Barty’s trial.
Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and Rabastan were all tried first and now Barty is sitting in a chair, chained, looking up at his father.
Evan, who’s never shown emotions, has tears falling down his face.
“I didn’t-“ Barty starts to speak but his father casts a spell, shutting him up.
“Do you, Bartimus Crouch Jr, admit to being involved in the torture of Alice and Frank Longbottom?”
Barty shakes his head, silently sobbing. His father flicks his wand.
“I didnt-“ Barty sobs, choking on his words.
“Take him away.”
“No,” Evan mutters.
“D-dad, dad, please! Dad!” Barty begs as he gets pulled away. Barty Crouch Sr. turns his head and looks away from his son.
Regulus looks over to see Evan staring at the TV, his eyes filled with an anger Regulus has never seen.
As much as Regulus hates to admit it, Barty is probably guilty. There’s no sign of him being cursed, or anything really. He got assigned to the wrong mission.
“It wasn’t him,” Evan mumbles.
“Ev-“
“It. Wasn’t. Him.” Evan stares at the screen, watching Barty being thrown into a cell. He lands with a thud, scrambling to hold the bars as the Aurors walk away.
“Crouch?” Says a familiar voice from the cell across.
“Oh, no fucking way. Sirius Black?”
“Oh, so you remember me.”
“Fuck off.”
All three of them, Dorcas, Evan, and Regulus make eye contact. Regulus smiles.
“They never did get along.”
“Looks like they don’t have a choice,” Dorcas says, smiling.
“Oh they hate each other, Barty used to complain about how much he hated Sirius,” Evan says, gazing at the TV. Barty and Sirius are arguing, about what, none of them know.
“Shut up! All of you! Bloody fucking hell!”Rodolphus exclaims from his cell.
Regulus laughs, laughs so hard. So does Dorcas, and soon enough, Evan joins too.
Bellatrix bursts out laughing from her cell, “you need to loosen up, Dol.”
Sirius joins the laughing too.
Soon enough, all of them are laughing. Barty, Evan, Regulus, Sirius, Dorcas, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and even Rabastan. All of them are laughing. Together. But not together. Together in spirit.
——
Remus has never felt this depressed in his life.
Barty got arrested.
He didn’t really like Barty that much, really. Barty was loud and outgoing, flirty and obnoxious. And Remus didn’t really like that.
But, really, he was all Remus had left.
Let’s go through the list, shall we?
James and Lily, dead.
Regulus, more than likely dead
Mary left.
Marlene and Dorcas, dead.
Evan, dead.
Barty, arrested.
Peter, dead.
Pandora is off with her husband, miles and miles away.
And Sirius? He’s a cold blooded killer, locked away in Azkaban.
Oh, and not to mention, his parents are dead too.
Man, his life sucks.
He’s been sitting on the ground in his flat, going through his records. Dozens of them remind him of Sirius, and dozens of them are going into the attic. It makes Remus sick to even think about Sirius. All the memories they shared. The love. The hate. The kisses.
Oh, Remus misses his kisses. They were so soft. Warm. Comforting. Home. Sirius felt like home.
But Sirius is a cold blooded killer.
And Remus is left alone.
He downs another bottle of whiskey before falling asleep ontop his records.
—
“Yknow, I don’t think your scars are ugly,” Sirius says, dabbing at Remus’s new scar with a wash cloth. “They tell a story, like mine do.”
Remus’s gaze softens as he looks down at Sirius. He’s kneeled between Remus’s legs, oh so gently cleaning his wounds.
“You think so?” Remus mumbles, tucking a strand of hair behind Sirius’s ear.
“I know so, sweetheart.”
Sirius smiles, his tired eyes from the full moon gleaming with love. He gets up, sitting next to Remus on the bathtub edge.
“I like the tattoo you got over the summer,” Remus mumbles, bringing his hand up to trace over the moon.
“It’s meaningful, yknow? A moon for you, two stars; one for me and one for Reg, a sun for James, and a shooting star for Pete.”
Remus heart melts at his words. He cups his hand around Sirius’s neck, pulling him in for a sweet and tender kiss.
“Love you.”
“Love you more, moony.”