December 1971
December 12th had arrived
And Remus had missed it, he was in the hospital wing, overnight. And Sirius hadn’t made it up with James. And James had tried to book the quidditch pitch. And he’d been rejected. And Pete had said it was okay, but it really wasn’t. And James felt like such an idiot, as they sat in the common, celebrating Peter’s birthday. And was even worse when MacDonald had dropped by and asked if there was going to be a celebration, and if she would be invited. And neither James nor Pete had the heart to tell her there was nothing planned. And so, they’d told her it had long past, and she apologized.
She ran off the girl’s room and came back moments later, a present in hand.
“For you.” She smiled, and watched as Peter quietly unraveled it. It was purple wrapping, metallic and shiny. And it had a silver bow on top. James stared at Peter, who now had the gift in his hand.
It was a candle.
James almost laughed.
“A candle?” MacDonald nodded along as Peter asked. “It’s a special one. A candle that won’t go out once lit until want it to.” Peter continued by asking how would you light it.
“I will. Ill be the one to light it for you, and then it’ll be upto you to let it go on or die out.”
James felt like he was third wheeling. He probably was. He faked a cough and excused himself and left to take a lap around the school.
-
It was lonely. James, who had always found himself with someone, was feeling lonely. He didn’t know why. Anyone would’ve been happy to indulge James in some conversation or help with a prank or complain about homework.
Peter had a girl, that much was true. But it was weird, James had never thought Peter would be the first one. Though, MacDonald was of African American descent, maybe that’s what made it work. No one else would take them so they only had one another. Or maybe they truly liked each other. They felt pure. Pure in a way James felt jealous.
So lost in thought about Peter, James bumped into a wall.
“Merlin…” he muttered, dusting off his pants and shirt, though, he couldn’t find his glasses. And it was a struggle to search for your glasses without your glasses. He had hoped not many people were there, watching James make a fool of himself.
“Need these?”
James looked up at the voice, instantly recognizing them.
“Thank you Evans” he took the glasses back from her and adjusted them.
“No worries. What are you doing out here all alone?”
James scratched his head. He didn’t exactly want to tell her he felt like a huge piece of a crap and a horrible friend, that was off putting. He couldn’t tell her he didn’t like the prospect of Peter moving on too fast, MacDonald was Evan’s friend and she was a girl, she also liked someone maybe.
She waited patiently, her posture never once loosening, standing still as a statue.}
“I don’t know.” And it wasn’t a lie.
“That’s alright. Well, I’ll be off now.”
James watched her go, and felt his heart rise softly.
“Wait!” He cried out. Evans turned her head back and gave him a playful look. “Where are you going?” She told him to the library to study. James didn’t ask, he just did it. He accompanied her, because he knew Evans was waiting for him.
“Just don’t be your usual self. The librarian is strict.”
James rolled his eyes, but he did try his best to not cause a ruckus. But that was trying to force oil and water to mix. So, after two hours, which was pretty good if you asked James, he had been sent out and a distressed Lily followed him soon after.
“How come you sent out too?”
Lily bit the inside of her cheek, before relenting a response.
“I tried to explain it wasn’t your fault and she didn’t like that much.”
James laughed, while Lily fluttered her arms around in dismay. She clearly disapproved of his antics, but it was sweet for her to stick up for him.
“It’s Pete’s birthday, today.” They lapsed into a walk around the castle grounds and James led the conversation. “Tell him happy birthday for me then.”
They didn’t talk about anyone else.
They soaked up knowledge about one another, always having something to say. Evans was as perfect as James thought her out to be from the start.
And in a way, he understood Peter.
-
“I got your present.”
James had returned, Evans by his side just a bit before curfew. She bid him goodnight and ran off, and James went to his room. Sirius’s curtains were tightly shut, and Remus hadn’t been back yet. Peter sat on James’s bed, swinging his feet.
“Did you like it?”
“I loved it.”
“Peter, I’m sorry things didn’t turn out well.”
“it’s okay. I enjoyed today either way.”
It was hard to discern the truth from the lie. Peter could sometimes surprise people by his ability to lie so good. But not James, never James.
“So… About that MacDonald girl, are you two a thing?”
“I don’t know what we are. We are something, but not too sure what. And don’t give me that look! You and that ginger girl have something going on too.”