The Great Hall
When Regulus walks out of the Hogwarts express the cold breeze hits him, it’s a comfortable change from the enclosed train. When he is out of the train he steps a few steps away from it so he isn’t standing in the way for anyone. He closes his eyes and lets the chilly wind run through his hair, the curls falling in an almost boyish way. To his right is Barty and to his left is Pandora. He looks around for Evan and Dorcas but instead, in the corner of his eye he notices four older Gryffindor boys standing.
His brother Sirius is standing in the middle, with his arm around James Potter. Merlin he hated that boy. Deep down he knows it’s not Potter’s fault that Sirius prefers him over Regulus, that Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, that Sirius hates Regulus. But no matter what he can’t help but hate the boy, James and his parents are blood traitors anyway. He can’t help but find it fitting, that Sirius found his "family" with a bunch of blood traitors. He doesn’t let himself admit that he sometimes find himself wishing that he could be as brave as his brother, that he from time to time wishes he would just stand up against his parents. No, those thoughts aren’t good for anything.
Next to his brother is the Lupin boy, and next to Potter is Pettigrew. Regulus doesn’t know much about Pettigrew, but he had heard a lot about Lupin from Sirius. If he was being honest, Lupin was properly the least horrible of the four. br />
As he watches the four boys laugh and talk with their arms around each other’s shoulders, his stomach clenches. But of course, being the boy he is he ignores it.
His heart skips a beat as he sees Sirius turn his head in his direction, and for a second he allows himself to be naive and think his brother was looking for him. That of course was before he realizes his brother isn’t looking at him, but instead at someone behind him.
A girl with dirty blonde hair and a shaggy haircut runs past him, and towards his brother.
The McKinnon girl.
He didn’t know much about her except for that she was a half-blood witch, and that she was sorted into Gryffindor the same year as Sirius. He knew that Sirius was close to her, but he didn’t know if there was more to it, he didn’t think so. The way Sirius spoke about her it was clear they were close, they played on Quidditch team together and would often be seen talking and laughing in the hallways.
He watches as McKinnon runs over to Sirius and hugs him, he watches how Sirius smiles widely and messes up her hair and how she does the same to him in return. He hates himself for the bitter jealously he feels starting to rise in him.
He is shaken out of it when he feels an arm wrap around his shoulder, he looks to the see who it is and is met by Barty Crouch Jr's face looking back at him. He and Barty had started going out that summer, their friends knew and Regulus had been stupid enough to tell Sirius. This had been followed by a twenty minutes lecture on how Barty was a bad influence on him, and how Sirius had kept his mouth shut about it when they were just friends but that he certainly didn’t approve of Regulus and Bartys relationship. "for your own good" Sirius had said which had earned a scoff from Regulus and after that it was a whole argument that escalated and ended up being about something completely unrelated.
He swallows thickly and looks and Barty, he silently prays he didn’t notice him staring at his brother and his friends.
Barty looks at him and asks, his voice quiet enough for only Regulus and him to hear "you alright? You seemed Kind of spaced out".
Regulus tenses up slightly.
Of course Barty had to notice his stupid staring.
"M' fine, just tired" he mutters back dismissively.
Barty nods but tightens his grip around him a little
"Come on lets go find a carriage before it’s too late" Regulus says and starts walking before the others can react, the others follow and Pandora runs up to walk next to Regulus. His expression softens a little as she approaches him, he had always had a soft spot for Pandora and he was quite close with the girl. Even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud she meant a lot to him. They all did.
He met Dorcas on the train to Hogwarts his first year, he had already been familiar with Pandora and Evan since they all three shared an aunt and was therefore cousins of some sort. He had met them at one of the boring family dinners when they were seven, they had snuck away from the adults and up to Regulus room, it has become a tradition for them to do.
He also knew Barty before he started his first year at Hogwarts, since Barty's dad is the minister of magic and Regulus parents were quite influential to the wizarding world, most witches and wizards knows about the noble house of black in some way. Regulus was also pretty sure that his and Barty’s dads had known each other at their time at Hogwarts.
Him and Barty would escape to his room, while their parents were discussing things and talking downstairs.
It was during one of those times this summer that Regulus had replied to Barty with “make me” when Barty had told him to shut up, Barty had grinned and before Regulus could react he had been pulled into a kiss.
As they all walks towards one of the carriages Regulus can’t help but feel uneasy, the carriages gets pulled by Thestrals. Thestrals are creatures you can only see if you have seen someone die, this wasn’t something he knew before Pandora in their second year told him. The little blonde girl had seen him staring at them and whispered to him "you see them too don’t you?", he had nodded and asked why no one else was bothered by it. She told him how you could only see them if you had seen someone die, which had painfully reminded him of how Kreacher wasn’t the first house elf his family have had. He always cared for house elves, more than most others do and he had stupidly let it show. When he was nine he had gotten quite attached and almost friends with the house elf, that was until his mother asked him about it and he told her the truth. He couldn’t possibly have known she would kill the elf in front of him to show him a lesson about not getting attached to anyone.
He still cared for house elves, he and Kreacher actually cared for each other. Regulus was the only one with the house elf’s respect. But he was older now, he knew to not let Walburga know.
He sat by the window in the carriage with Barty next to him and Evan next to Barty, opposite from them is Pandora and Dorcas. Barty and Evan starts talking about everything and nothing while Regulus looks out the window and gets lost in thoughts.
He hates himself for, it but he couldn’t help but notice how Sirius and his stupid Gryffindor friends was sitting in the carriage in front of him.
But really it wasn’t a surprise, there was rarely ever a scenario where Regulus wasn’t behind Sirius, was there? He thought bitterly. He already knew the answer. no, Sirius would always be before him, in front of him, better than him.
When they get to Hogwarts they step out of the carriages and look up at the castle, they can see the first years being guided by McGonagall out of the boats and into where they will be getting information’s and instructions before entering the great hall for the sorting ceremony.
A soft smile tugs at his lips when he remembers when he was a first year, merlin he had been nervous. When he had walked up to the sorting hat he had looked for Sirius, he had seen him at the Gryffindor table giving him a big warm smile. The smile had quickly disappeared when the hat that had barely touched his head had yelled out "Slytherin!"
Regulus is sometimes convinced that was the last time Sirius considered himself Regulus brother.
That was years ago, Regulus was starting his fourth year and Sirius was starting his fifth.
They barely talked anymore, he knew Sirius wanted to leave Grimmauld place number 12. But he doubted he would actually do it.
They make their way into the great hall and Regulus, Evan and Dorcas sit down at the Slytherin table as Barty and Pandora takes a seat at the Ravenclaw table. Barty was a Ravenclaw but people would often forget that, he spent so much time in the Slytherin dorms and common room that he properly felt more at home there than at the Ravenclaw tower.
When everyone is seated the sorting ceremony starts.
Regulus pays attention to it all and when a nervous scrawny boy with dark curls and grey eyes like his own gets sorted into Gryffindor, he feels a pang of something he can’t identify in his stomach. He looks over at the Gryffindor table, he sees that Sirius is the one clapping the most eagerly. But he knows his brother, he can tell he is thinking about how much that boy looks like his little brother, and he doesn’t doubt his Sirius will take that boy under his wing. A part of him even hopes so, because that would mean Sirius still somehow cares. Even if it’s by pretending someone else is what his brother could have been.
The rest of the sorting ceremony goes smoothly and just as it usually does. A bunch of the first years are sorted into Slytherin, and one of them sits opposite for Regulus.
After everyone is sorted Dumbledore stands up to say his usual speech, Regulus doesn’t pay attention to all of it but he has heard it all before. Every year Dumbledore talks about the four founders of Hogwarts and how everyone here has the chance to be a great wizard or witch.
When Dumbledore announces who the new prefects are, Regulus pays a little more attention than before.
The new prefects for Slytherin are Severus Snape and some girl Regulus isn’t familiar with, he can’t help but be a little annoyed at how Severus that greasy little rat got to be prefect.
He doesn’t recognize the ones from Hufflepuff, but he does recognize the name Eveline Vance from Ravenclaw.
The new prefects for Gryffindor are what Regulus could have expected, Remus Lupin and Lily Evans. If he was being honest those two weren’t the worst Gryffindors he could think of, and if he had been the one to choose prefects he too would have chosen them. They seemed to be the two brain cells keeping that ridiculous red house together.
After that, everyone eats their dinner. The meal at the great hall on the first day back from summer is always something to look forward to, there was anything you could want to eat. While eating, Evan and Regulus talks while Dorcas prefers to eat in silence
"You’re quiet today, anything on your mind?" Evan asks before putting another bite of chicken in his mouth. Regulus simply shakes his head "I’m not quiet, you and Barty are just unusually loud" he says a little amused, "Regulus is always quiet on the first day back" Dorcas reminds Evan and doesn’t look up as she speaks "he will be back to his usual self in the morning". "Good because me and Barty have already discussed ways to prank the first years" Evan grins which earns him a glare from Regulus "you are not going to be pranking the first years on their first day you moron" he takes a pause and looks at the Gryffindor table "we could do something to them though" he says and points his fork towards the marauders who were all sitting close together "I met potter again today, I want nothing more than to annoy that stupid grin off his face" he adds. Evan’s gaze follows Regulus fork and looks to the Gryffindor table "what do you have in mind?" he asks, "anything, we will figure it out later or tomorrow with Barty" Regulus responds and looks at Evan. he can see Dorcas sitting next to Evan and she is shaking her head amused “I swear to merlin you three are going be the end of me and Panda" she says "keeping you two and Barty uninjured is a full time job" she says and looks up from her dinner an amused smirk on her face, Evan puts a hand on her shoulder and grins while saying sarcastically "we love you for keeping us alive" which makes Dorcas playfully smack his arm but she can’t hide the smile on her face "you better".
They ate the rest of their dinner mostly in silence, usually Barty would come over to their table at the meals but not tonight since it was the first night back. Students weren’t really allowed to sit at tables other than the one they belonged to, but Regulus is pretty sure the teachers just gave up when it comes to Barty. He wasn’t even sure Barty knew his dorm mates full names. The teachers tried to convince him to stop it at first but Barty is insanely stubborn and they eventually just let him get his will.
While eating, Regulus can’t help but wince slightly whenever he moves too much after sitting still for too long, he still had some injuries that were healing since the last time Orion was displeased with him. Sirius had helped him as much as he could with the first aid kits and small healing potions they both keep under their beds, but it hadn’t completely healed the cut on his leg. He would have to go to madam Pomfrey in the morning, he knew it was smartest to do it tonight but he was tired. And he would never admit it out loud but sometimes he didn’t care much for the pain, growing up in the noble house of Black he learned to be able to ignore pain. Sometimes he would even use it as a way to punish himself. After all that was all he had been told he deserved when he did something wrong, so he didn’t feel like he could be blamed for thinking like that. It made sense to him, You do something wrong and you have to pay for it, have to get punished for it. And pain was all the punishments him and Sirius had ever known. He didn’t inflict pain on himself in that way, he would just let the pain there already was be. And frankly he didn’t see anything wrong with that, even though he knows he properly should.
Regulus and Evan had been talking to Pandora and Barty while walking them to the Ravenclaw tower, while Dorcas had went directly to the dungeons. So when Regulus and Evan finally get to the Slytherin dungeons no one else is around, and no one had told them the password. Great.
"What the fuck do we do now" Evan says and throws his hands up in a dramatic gesture, Reglulus shakes his head "we could wait?" he suggests "surely not everyone has already gone in already, right?" he looks at Evan who is trying to pry the door open "because that definitely won’t help" he adds and walks over to Evan "are you seriously trying to pry the door open?" he asks amused with a raised eyebrow, "I’m a desperate man with a full bladder" Evan replies with a deadpan expression which makes Regulus shake his head amused. Neither of them notice the presence of another student before someone speaks up "well well what do we have here?" Severus Snape says and walks over to them "two fourth years out here hm? you should be in your dormitory instead of sneaking around" he says which makes Regulus fight the urge to roll his eyes "we aren’t sneaking around, we were just a bit late and no one told us the password. Besides, you can’t be saying anything since you were also out here" he says dryly "let me guess, you were walking that crush of yours to the Gryffindor towers? Evans?" he says a mocking tone to his voice, he couldn’t help but find it amusing that Severus would be best friends with a Gryffindor let alone fancying one. "I don’t have a thing for lily" Severus replies a little too defensively "and you should watch your mouth Black, I’m a prefect now" he adds. "I’m shaking in my boots" Regulus replies with his usual sarcastic tone.
Severus rolls his eyes and walks over to the door leading into the dungeons, "salamander" he says and the door opens. He steps in and Regulus and Evan follows. They walk in silence, Regulus and Evan goes to their dorm while Severus goes to his.
As the two boys step inside they see that their two dorm mates are already there, they sit down on their beds in silence. They look for their baggage, and sees that it is already brought up by the house elves. they find their toothbrushes, and change into their pajamas. Evan doesn’t comment on the thin white scars on Regulus torso and back, he doesn’t comment on the bandages on his leg either, which Regulus is grateful for. His friends knew about his parents and their way of parenting but it wasn’t something that they talked much about, Barty even knew it firsthand from his own father.
They go to bed without exchanging many more words.
As Regulus lays in the dark and stares at the ceiling, he can’t help but replay everything that happened today. Everything with his brother, and his meet with Potter, He didn’t even know him and he certainly didn’t want to.
He can’t find a comfortable position to lie in, his leg bothering him no matter how he lies down. He turns his head and looks at the clock hanging on the wall, 00:17am. Fuck, was it already this late? It didn’t feel like he had been laying there for long, thinking through everything and preparing himself for the next day.
He sighs and sits up, swinging his legs over the edge. He stands up and quietly heads out of the dorm, he closes the door behind him and walks through the common room before going out of the dungeons.
He starts walking to the hospital wing, a part of why he had wanted to wait until the morning is because he didn’t want to take the chance and run into Sirius. But there he was, walking to the hospital wing anyway instead of sleeping.