Chapter 5
"So. How was your Summer?"
"Dreadful. I need to talk to Draco about his house elf. Total psycho."
"Oh yeah? Does he have something to do with the fact that you two appeared at school early? After supposedly being apperated in by a teacher? And not taking the train."
"You know," Percy said thoughtfully, "I thought you two were going to take the flying car instead." There was a snort from one of them before a mutter
"Yeah, we almost did. But then they found us."
Dean Thomas next to them started choking on his food, Seamus Finnigan and the other Gryffindors weren't faring much better either. Even Nearly headless Nick, the Gryffindor Ghost had paused what he was doing to stare at them.
"Flying car? Apperated by a teacher? Why didn't you just take the train?"
"Draco's house elf. Blocked the entrance, so we couldn't get in. Everyone else already had of course, so we were stuck there for a bit. Eventually, just before we took the car, somebody found us and helped by floo calling the professors."
“Pity. The car would have been more interesting.”
"Huh." Someone muttered. "So that's what the professors must be arguing about." They all glanced up at the head table and saw that the professors were indeed arguing, although there must have been a silencing spell up, as nobody could hear what they were saying, much to the disappointment of Lavender Brown, who had been straining very hard to try and hear for the past 10 minutes before switching her attention to their conversation.
"But yeah." Harry continued. "That's what happened". Hermione Frowned.
"That's weird. I wonder why he would do that." Harry snorted.
"He keeped on spouting nonsense about 'There is great danger at Hogwarts! Harry Potter sir cannot go!'. So yeah. Nonsense" Hermione, Ron and Neville stared at him.
"And you never thought to take him seriously?"
"Come on Mione. It's not like it could be worse than last year."
"What you mean can't be worse than last year? What happened last year? Guys? Guys? Guys, don't igno-"
"Oh look! There's Draco!" Percy exclaimed, cutting off Lavender. "Hey Draco, can you get your house elf to fuck off? The one named Dobby. Keeps on bothering Harry with some nonsense about some great danger at Hogwarts." Draco, passing by, paused and turned to stare at him for a solid second, before snorting.
"Yeah sure. He is useless anyways, always making moronic mistakes. Not that he is bad or anything, he’s quite nice actually, which coming from me is saying something, but he's also really fucking dumb. Just never realized he was delusional as well. I mean, the greatest danger we will properly face this year is the fraud the old fool decided to hire."
"You noticed that too?" Draco rolled his eyes.
"You kidding? The dudes scrawny as hell, got tired from just signing like, 15 books, is completely unharmed, and claims to have wrestled a werewolf barehanded? That's difficult to get out of with a Wand, let alone unarmed and untrained, which he clearly is, and magical medicine, no matter how advanced, doesn't have a way to fix that stuff." He paused, before adding on thoughtfully "Never does muggle medicine, if he prefers that way." They all stared at Draco.
"You know, I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one go."
"And you considered Muggle medicine as a possibility as well."
"You must really hate him."
“Like, a billion times more than you do us.”
"Fuck off. I'll get rid of the stupid house elf. Make sure he leaves you alone. Just help get rid of the fraud as soon as possible."
"Sure, a team effort."
If Lockhart shivered from an ominous feeling, that was no one's fault but his own. And the students who tortured him for the next few months as well of course. But no one needs to know that.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
"Ugh. I know that we knew Blockhart was useless, but I didn't realize we'd spend all class listening to how much of a great fraud he is."
"Oh be quiet Ronald. You're not the only one that has to suffer, you know."
"Stop bullying me! Hey Demon twins! Help me! Mione keeps on whacking me with her book!"
"Shush guys. Do you hear that?" They both paused, looked at Harry, and then strained their ears.
"No, not really."
"What Mione said."
"You mean that hissing sound? The one that keeps on sounding like words"
"Yeah." Harry frowned. "It keeps on whispering kill, kill, over and over again." They all turn and look at each other.
"You think this might be the Great danger that the house elf was talking about?"
"Probably."
"You know what this means right?" A collective sigh echos.
"...Yeah. …Research…"
"I thought this was supposed to be the safest Wixen school in the world!"
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
"Okay.
We know what the threat is.
We know where the threat is.
We know what kills the threat.
We are prepared to kill or destroy whoever it is that has called out the basilisk if they are there.
And we have learned how to Transfigure a rock into a rooster because someone killed all of Hagrid's last week.
We can't tell a adult figure, because they are all surprisingly Dumb and Useless, plus they can't get into the Chamber of Secrets™ without us anyways, and would probably shut down the school if they found out there was a basilisk, which we can't do because that would mean transferring to a different school, and that is a horrible idea, because their teachers suck as much as ours, but won't turn a blind eye to the stupid things we do and are much harder to trick, making life 10 times more difficult.
Did I get everything?"
"Yes Mione. That is everything."
"Sweet." Hermione smirked. "Let's go kill the King of Serpents shall we?" They all grinned. If they were in a manhwa instead of a fanfiction, their faces would be black, with only three white crescents, on each if theirs faces, as their eyes and mouth showing, and a dark cloud would be hovering above them. But it isn't, so instead, they just walked into the girls bathroom, said Hello to Moaning Myrtle (She's crying. Nothing else. Keep your minds out of the gutter.), and entered the Chamber of Secrets™.
…
"That was ridiculously easy. I mean, Shouldn't the King of Serpents who can kill you by simply looking you in the eye and the memory of one thee most powerful dark wizards to exist be harder to defeat?" Harry sighed.
"I have no idea Ron. Maybe they were just not trying? You know, going with the strategy of losing the battle to win the war?" Percy snorted.
"I don't think so. It seems like Tom Riddle genuinely didn't expect us to win. Dumb honestly. Doesn’the know not to underestimate people?" Hermione just rolled her eyes.
“And his problem? His reason for everything? Daddy Issues.”
“You know, we were joking about when talking to Luke, but how many times do you think we're going to have problems because people have Daddy issues?”
“... I don't think I want to know.”
"Right, enough of that. Christmas is coming up. What are you guys hoping for?" Hearing Hermione's words they all paused and looked at each other thoughtfully. Then Ron smirked.
"You know what? I'm going to snap my Wand. Say I fell or something while it was in my pocket. Dad finally got a promotion after deciding to stop mucking around with the muggle stuff at work after meeting your guy's uncle." He nodded towards Harry and Percy. "Figured it was better to learn that stuff from him and actually make money at work. Means we finally have enough money to get me a proper Wand. Need an excuse for that though, which is why I'm gonna snap it."
"Wow Ronald. Not manipulative at all."