love, remus

Friday, September 19th

- INCOMING CALL +44******** -

“Hello?”

“Lily hi! It's Remus!!”

“Remus! I have been waiting for your calls all week! I missed your voice.”

“Haha, I missed yours too. Did my letters deliver alright?”

“They did. I sent one back with a gift.”

“Oh goodie. When will they arrive?”

“Soon hopefully! I suppose I won't have to send anymore, considering you can call me more often now.”

“Oh yeah of course! I'm at the new booth now.”

“How is it?”

“The phone booth or Wales?”

“Both.”

“The phone booth is just fine. Wales is the same as always. My new records are keeping me company. And those DVDs we bought. I can't keep my eyes off the DVD player screen.”

“Which is your favorite?”

“Hm. I like the Dead Poets Society.”

“Figures.”

“How's Hogwarts?”

“It's amazing!!”

“Oh yeah? Enjoying your last year?”

“You bet I am.”

“Oh fuck. I forgot to bring extra coins. The times almost up. Shit shit shit..”

“It's okay Rem, I hope you get my letter soon. I’ll talk to you on Monday?”

“Yeah.. I'm sorry Lils. The mail truck just drove past so I think your letter is h-”

- CALL ENDED -

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-sent on wednesday, september 24th-

Dear Sirius Orgasm Black,

You're a bitch you know that? Some nerve you have, reading someone else's mail. I’ll have you know that I will be telling Lily about this. Yeah, she has a first name. Not just ‘Evans”. God, I’ve never even seen you, let alone said a word to you and I am already sick of you. 

I am writing to you in regard to my sanity. I think you are my last hope. I sound like a whiny bitch right now. However, it is indeed lonely. I am trying not to take offence from your statement of me not having friends, but you are right. Lily and Stan are my only friends. So, I propose an idea. Let's be pen pals. 

Don't tell the depressed police. I need a release of my feelings that's not just my journal. Besides, it's not like we will ever meet, so maybe it will be easier to talk to you. I guess I’ll keep the personal stuff until you agree to be pen pals. We can tell each other our secrets like we are little schoolgirls. I swear I won't tell. 

I don't really know how to make friends, considering Stan is basically my brother and Lily forced me to hang out with her, but I assume we could start by introducing ourselves. You already did this in your letter, but I demand more information. So, I have composed a list of questions and my answers. I will underline the questions to make it easier for you to distinguish them, but my answers will be next to them. Here we go -

Favorite song - half  a person by the smiths

Favorite movie- Almost Famous, I suppose, this is a hard question

Birthday- March 10, 2007

Favorite color- brown

Bad traits- i have trust issues and i am VERY insecure

Good traits-   im honest?

Favorite drink- tea.

Favorite season-   fall!!!

Favorite time of day-  sunrise

Right or left handed-   left 

Personality type-   isfp

I think those are pretty basic questions, but we need to get to know each other. If you want me to just fuck off then you can say that, but you seemed pretty enthusiastic to send a letter to someone. Also, I am not a Mormon, I just have no need for a cell phone. Life's better without them. And yes, I know what Spotify is, I am not a dumbass.

In my free time I read, write, paint, listen to music, sleep, play my bass, bake, and wank. Joking. Well not really but you don't need to know about that. This has gotten weird. Anyway,

I am teaching my cat how to walk with a leash and pee in the toilet in my free time. He is very stubborn. And loud. But he gives amazing cuddles.

My bass is my life and joy.

And NO I am not cheating on you with Stan?? We are not dating!! I don't know you, but that doesn't seem to be a problem to you. 

Anyways, write back if you want, if not, I won't be offended.

Sincerely,

    Remus J. Lupin

PS I definitely like David Bowie more.

-delivered saturday, september 27th-

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-sent on saturday, september 27th-

DEAR MY ONE AND ONLY LOVE REMUS JUDAS LUPIN,

You little snitch!!!!! You told Lily!! She had me hung and burnt at the stake and all my friends pointed and laughed. You said I was the bitch, but we all know you are more of one.

Prongs and Wormy won't leave me alone about this. They started a rumor that I write with a pink glitter gel pen. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Evans won't talk to me either! Just as I thought we would be friends.

You know, you make it very hard for me to accept your request for being pen pals. But since I'm just such a good guy and I have such a humongous heart, I do!! I would love to be your pen pal Remus! And you can tell me anything and I will make sure not to tell anyone. Despite what Evans might tell you, I can very well keep my mouth shut.

I will now answer your starter questions, which seem like they are from a dating app, but I don't judge.

Favorite song -  Lady Stardust by bowie!!! It is literally me

Favorite movie- Sing Street!!!! Orrrrrrrr Kick-Ass, it's literally hilarious!!!

Birthday- November 3rd, 2007

Favorite color- black!! and dont u dare say its a shade not a color

Bad traits- I am VERY stubborn and annoying

Good traits-  i am loyal as hell

Favorite drink- VODKA!!!!!!!

Favorite season-  WINTER

Favorite time of day-  dusk 

Right or left handed-  right handed!!!! imagine being left-handed...

Personality type-  estp

Now let's see.. Why are you insecure, my Remus?? I bet you are a handsome bloke, I mean your handwriting is hot, and all of Evans’ friends are hot, so you must be. AND I have trust issues too, but maybe this whole pen pal thing will help you be cured of them!

Half a Person is a classic, I can see you relating to that. Even though we have never met, and I have no idea how you look. Evans’ must have photos of you, but I think that would breach the pen pal rules. Maybe we have to make some. Ehh, it's not like I would follow them anyways.

This pen pal thing seems fun, and I need it right now. So, if you don't mind, I will start ranting. You can't stop me!! Well, you could stop reading but I doubt you would do that. I know there's some kindness in your heart, Remey.

I don't even know where to start actually. This summer, my brother Regulus ran away from home. Finally, MY parents, aka the worst people ever, were always very.. abusive. I don't know how else to put it. They hit us all the time, neglected us, sometimes tortured us even. So, I ran away a few years ago.

I know I know, it was the best decision, but I regret it every day of my life. I only ran away in 5th year, but I left my brother. I left him in that house. With them. For 2 years he was in that house, dealing with fucks knows all. And I wasn't there. I was supposed to be his brother, and I failed.

I replaced him with James. He was always there for me. He is the best non biological brother I could ask for. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for his family. They accepted me as their own son, and I was so stupid. I will never forgive myself for leaving Reg behind.

But anyways, this summer, about a week in, there was a knock at the door. Me and James were high off our asses and terrified. It was 4 in the bloody morning, and someone was slowly knocking at the door. James lives up a long road too!! Anyways, I am getting off track.

In short, Reg was there, and he was hurt. Physically and mentally. It took him a while to warm up and he didn't talk for the first month he stayed. But soon we realized he wasn't leaving, and I was overjoyed. Our relationship is slowly mending, but I just can't stop blaming myself for everything. It's like she is still in my head, and a part of me yearns for her punishments, like I know I deserve to be hurt. I have not necessarily hurt myself, but sometimes I skip out on meals just to feel the feeling of punishment. Don't tell Lily. James hasn't noticed, he's too focused on Reg’s well-being to even notice. It is scary.

I haven't told James half the stuff I have told you. This is weird. I hope you don't regret this, that would be embarrassing for me. Kinda, wish you had a phone, would make this thing easier. I am actually laying on my bed twirling my hair. It's like we are lovers, and you are at war.

I googled on my phone things to ask pen pals, and it helps but I think that's basic. Like everyone asks these questions and I'm not everyone. So instead, I have compiled a list of ‘deep’ questions to ask you.

But first, I will tell you about my journeys this week. I expect a summary of yours as well. I bet you haven't done much, considering you live in fuck knows where.

Anyway, it's only been three days since you sent your last letter, but I will just recap my first week back at Hogwarts.

Monday - Played an epic prank at dinner. Peter did some tinkering and made this machine that shot out a bunch of papers. They had naked women on them. Ha. You should've seen Evans’ face. The Marauders struck again. Other than that, my classes were boring.

Tuesday - Talked to my brother and his bitchy friend Barty. Apparently, Barty is trying to get him to get a face piercing. I think it would be badass. He doesn't.

Wednesday - Made cookies with Evans! Until she ditched me to call you. Bitch. I burnt them, but she is being nicer to me! Got hate-crimed by my family but it's okay because I passed my first ever test of the year. Didn't know about it until I walked into class but still got 100. Wormy was fuming.

Thursday - had fun practice for football, almost broke my arm and got a bloody nose, but it was worth it. Prongs is trying to get me to go on 5.30 runs with him. Insane, but I got Reg to go somehow. I think he is trying to get better at footie to make our parents mad.

Friday - first party of the year! got crazy drunk and shit, think I hooked up with some person, wouldn't be able to tell you anything because I don't remember. woke up with a bite mark but it could have just been Pandora. She's insane, I love it.

Well, that's all from my week. Here are my questions, I might answer them, but who knows.

Are you a virgin? (yes i have to know)

If you were a vegetable, what would you be?

Who's the most influential person in your life?

Favorite sex position?

What's a small thing that makes you very happy?

What's your dream job?

I think that's all from me, this letter is getting too long. Love ya Remus!!!!

Yours Truly,

     Sirius O. Black

-delivered tuesday, september 30th-

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-sent wednesday, september 30th-

Dear Sirius Oblong Black,

Did it ever cross your mind that you may deserve to be burned at the stake? Probably not. You only have one brain cell after all. It must be very lonely there. Also, what the fucks a 'Wormy and Prongs?'

I am also on this ‘pink glitter pen’ train. Considering you are twirling your hair while writing to me. Are you lying on your stomach kicking your feet too? Maybe listening to some old 2000s pop?

My week has been very chaotic to say the least, but before I start, I want to discuss(?) your rant. You are so brave Sirius. I bet you get that a lot, but it's true. Leaving that house was the best decision you could have made, and you shouldn't feel guilty for leaving Regulus behind. Sometimes, you have to focus on yourself first. And I am glad you did.

Regulus is so lucky to have a brother like you. You are so lucky to have a friend like James. I think that you need to stop thinking about the past. We are built on it, but you are so focused on the past that you don't realize you are living in it right now. In about a year, you will regret not living more and forgiving yourself. Regulus is trying his best and so are you, and soon you will be mended and all will be well in due time.

I bet you've gotten that advice a lot. If you can even call it that. I am not very good at comforting. But it's because it's true. If Regulus really was mad, he wouldn't have gone to you first. You were his first resort. Remember that. Also, Sirius, you do not deserve the punishments she gave you. And you shouldn't punish yourself.

I am worried for you already, which is crazy considering I don't know you. But I feel connected to you, don't quote me on that. By not eating, you are giving her what she wants. Do you really think that starving yourself will make you feel any better? Even if it is, which I doubt that you shouldn't. You should tell Regulus. He might feel the same. Please eat.

I hope that suffices for comfort, I can tell you need it, no offence. Also, what?? Lovers? at?? war??? You continued to amaze me with every letter. Whatever makes you happy, I guess…

These questions make me question my sanity. Do you have a filter? Well, I will answer for you. ‘No.’ Despite my complaints, I will be answering them. But first I will tell you about my exciting week.

Thursday - Read a book about the stars. Brightest star in the sky. Fitting. Dog star too? Ruff. Never doing that again. After I finished the book, I helped my ma cook and then I played with my cat. He's getting closer to learning how to piss in the toilet. Hasn't gotten the flushing part down yet.

Friday - Watched some movies with my Ma. Almost went into town, but I was too sore. Called Lily, took a nice bath and a walk down to the coast. Chilled in the sand and did my homework. Writing an essay. I know it's so interesting. Da came home in a pissy mood. Stole my cigs from me and left until midnight.

Saturday - Da found out I'm gay. Fun, I know. Against my will as well. Only Lily and Stan know. Now my da and ma do too. Funny story actually. I was reading at the beach and got home to my dad sitting at the dining table. Looking like someone pissed in his stew. Anyway, it turns out he was in my room trying to find some cigs and came across my magazines. Porn magazines. Don't laugh, I know it's old fashioned, but what do you expect? Guess he thought I was his perfect little son. Homeschooled, reads all day, has 2 friends, shares his smokes. Didn't expect me to be a fag. He was mad, I never saw him so angry. It's not like he's homophobic, he just ‘wanted me to marry and carry on his bloodline.’ Bitch. Told my Ma and she was fine with it, but he hasn't talked to me since.

Sunday - Took the train into town and applied for some jobs!! I am actually happy about this, it's only a 30 minute ride into the town, and I met a nice girl named Tonks. I don't know how I always find the ones with weird names. Anyway, she works at a cafe I applied at. I hope I get accepted for the library, apparently there's employee discounts! I am just waiting to hear back in the mail.

Monday - Ran out of movies to watch, I think I've watched them all like ten billion times. Started watching home videos but then got sad and stopped. Rotted in bed the rest of the day.

Tuesday - woke up with a killer cold. terrible headache, threw up, couldn't even get out of bed. I'm still sick, and I think I’m dying. Couldn't even wank. Just listened to music, but then my head hurt, and I slept the rest of the day.

Anyways, I am still sick and rotting in bed, but my head doesn't hurt as bad. Ma said she might get us a house phone soon, and said she worries for me walking to the phone booth. It's a minute walk down the street. She babies me too much.

I feel bad not ranting, considering you did, but I feel like I don't have much that compares to you. 

I guess I am just pissed about my dad really. He wasn't really always the best one, but seriously? It's so annoying, like I am his son. I don't know, it's stupid.

Ever since Lily left, I have been getting super sad. Wales blues. I still have Stan, but he's always doing shit and doesn't stay for long. I am just so alone all the time with my thoughts. When I was a kid, I used to have these episodes where I wouldn't leave my room for days. I would just cry and then if anyone talked to me, I would break down. I just don't want to end up like that again. It makes me sick just thinking about it.

On a different note, I love Lady Stardust. It has always been my favorite Bowie song. How is it ‘literally you’ if you don't mind me asking? Also, I haven't watched either of those movies you listed. Maybe I’ll see if any of the shops in town carry them. How is vodka your favorite drink? Honestly, I hate alcohol. I'd rather smoke a blunt any day. Feels so much better too. Why am I not surprised though?

You haven't seen me, if you did, you would know why I am insecure. I can never truly see myself as attractive. Lily tells me all the time and so does my Ma, but it's just hard for me to believe it. Also, how is my handwriting hot?? I didn't know that could be possible. And please don't ask Lily for a picture of me. I kind of like the mystery.

Did someone take advantage of you? It disgusts me to think that, but you mentioned hooking up with someone and being blackout drunk and I can't help but worry. Also, how many family members go to your school??? How did they hate-crime you? I thought Regulus was the only one. Speaking of him, I think that he should get a piercing as well, they are hot. 

Okay, that's enough from my life, now I will answer your stupid questions. Even though you didn't answer them yourself. Unfair if you ask me.

Are you a virgin?   Yes, I am. 

If you were a vegetable, what would you be?   Carrot. Roasted though.

Who's the most influential person in your life?   Lily. She has gotten me through so much.

Favorite sex position? Wouldn't know. Pervert. Bet yours is doggy.

Whats a small thing that makes you very happy?   people falling asleep around me. not in a creepy way, it just makes me happy that they are that comfortable

Whats your dream job?   Teacher. 

Thats enough of that. Here are my questions and then I will sign out.

Do you like spicy food?

Crunchy or soggy cereal?

Sweet, savory, or salty?

Favorite sex position? (I am curious now)

Favorite item of clothes you own?

Dream job?

What's something you dislike about yourself? 

OKAY!! my hand is cramping now, I think I've been writing for like an hour. I need sleep. Honestly, sleep isn't enough, I need to be murdered and buried underground only to actually be alive. Tell Lily I said hi.

Sincerely,

    Remus J. Lupin

PS I don't think you are annoying

-delivered friday, october 3rd-

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