One
First loves are always hard to let go. Only losers would be lame to miss a gem like you. As everyone said, I am the biggest loser. For how do I let go of someone when that someone is not even mine to begin with?
I believe in the sealing of first kisses; once you made contact, you're mine. Once our lips meet, you already have my heart. Poetic, in an author's point of view. And maybe that’s a child’s folly, maybe I should’ve made it clear from the very beginning. You’re mine.. You were once mine. Even if there was no label. We never needed any labels. Just us, Mark. Haechan. Mark and Haechan. We always come off as a package deal. It was something said as an observation when we were trainees, and when we debuted, no one can imagine one without the other. And beyond that, the tension. It grew into a settled companionment, and something more. Sparks came alive, yet there was no labels, no names, to set it apart from others. We didn’t need to. At least, I thought we didn’t need to. The unspoken words, the looks of longing, the co-dependency, the pretense of friendship in front of a billion people, for the sake of propriety. For the sake of fanservice, the fear of blurring the persona and the reality in front of the society. It was an open secret; anyone that passed by our lives knew that.
Except for her, it seems.
Not her fault, even if it took me a few years of reflection to recognize that.