Chapter 2
Regulus frowned as he snuck through the dungeons, it was nearly curfew and he really didn't want to be caught sneaking around. But there was someone talking loudly a few corridors over and he really wanted to know what they were laughing about. So he got closer.
The voices solidified once they didn't bounce through so many hallways and he recognized Snape's voice talking.
“It's pathetic honestly. He hasn't even fought back, I thought for sure he'd tattle or start fights or something.” There was laughter and then someone else, Mulciber he thought, laughed.
“Well he's a Black, you know their parents, I'm sure he's used to being walked all over.” Regulus frowned. Sirius, they had to be talking about Sirius, but what did Snape mean?
“Yeah but I expected something from him, some kind of fight. Especially when it comes to Lupin but I got away with it surprisingly well.”
“Damn, only you would get away with drugging someone with veritaserum, that you made yourself no less, and exposing some half breed. I'm still shocked it worked.” Regulus saw red. He drugged Sirius, he drugged him and made him spill Remus’s biggest secret, which of course Regulus already knew because Lupin was a horrible liar but still. Pulling out his wand he stepped around the corner, Snape leaned up against the wall, laughing while Mulciber stood in the hallway facing away from Regulus.
“Incarcerous!” Mulciber let out a yelp and toppled over, ropes binding his arms and legs. Regulus stormed over to Snape, grabbing him by his robes.
“What the hell?”
“Maybe,” Regulus growled. “Next time you drug my brother and make him ruin his own life you don't brag about it around me. We're going to Mcgonagle. Walk.” Snape struggled a bit but when Regulus threatened him with his wand and a vicious glare he became surprisingly compliant. He stormed through the castle, Snape being dragged behind him. When he kicked Mcgonagle's door open the woman was finishing up grading papers and jumped in surprise.
“Snape, Black, what is the meaning of this?” Regulus shoved him forward.
“Tell her.” Snape looked terrified and even Mcgonagle was watching him with a flicker of fear.
“Tell me what Snape?” After a moment he managed to get out a frantic sentence.
“I… I drugged Black with- with veritaserum so he'd tell me about Lupin.” Regulus was positive he could have heard a pin drop in the following silence.
“One more time Mr Snape?”
“I drugged Black into telling me about Lupin.” She pursed her lips tightly.
“Okay. Black, thank you for bringing this to my attention, you may go.” Regulus hesitated.
“Actually, I was wondering if it was possible to get Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew down here to hear this. I don't think they'd believe me.” Minerva considered the question.
“Very well. I assume you're capable of fetching them?” He nodded and took a half step back towards the door, keeping his eyes on Snape. “I'm perfectly able to watch Mr Snape myself, please go fetch them.” He nodded and bolted through the castle, actually passing, and ignoring, a prefect who tried to stop him before he got to Griffendor tower. The fat lady raised her eyebrow at him.
“While you and your brother do share similarities I do know that you're not a Griffendor.” Out of breath he nodded.
“But you allow those who know the password in.” She nodded grumpily. “Fantastic, gillyweed.”
“Interesting.” She swung open and he climbed through the portrait hole. He immediately spotted James, his messy mop of hair immediately identifiable.
“Potter!” The common room, which was relatively quiet but still full of conversations, became dead silent. James spun around and Regulus saw Remus sitting on a chair behind him doing homework and Peter sprawled on a couch.
“You're not supposed to be here?” James's statement sounded more like a question and Regulus shrugged.
“Mcgonagle sent me. She wants you three in her office.” Remus frowned.
“Now?” He turned his glare on Remus.
“Yes, now.” He spun on his heel and walked back out, waiting impatiently for the three to catch up. Once they climbed out the portrait hole he started walking briskly down the hall, making them almost jog to catch up to him.
“What’s going on?” Remus asked first but the murmur of agreement from James and Peter said they were also curious.
“Snape.”
“Snape… what?” He shot Remus a glare over his shoulder.
“You’ll find out in a minute. Hurry the fuck up.” To be honest he wasn’t sure why he was in such a hurry but a sense of dread was slowly building within him. His tone seemed to tell them that further discussion was entirely unwanted as they followed him silently to Mcgonagle's office. Once inside Regulus stepped to the side and allowed them to file in while Snape and Mcgonagle sat on opposite sides of the desk, Snape looking terrified and Mcgonagle just looking worn and disappointed.
“Thank you Mr Black, would you like to stay?” He nodded and she turned her attention to the other boys. “Did Mr Black tell you anything?” Remus shook his head.
“Nothing professor, except that you wanted to see us and that it was about Snape.” She nodded slightly.
“Indeed. As you're aware, during the moon a little over a month ago there was an unfortunate incident where Sirius disclosed some… sensitive information to Severus here.” The boys nodded with tense frowns. “Some new information has come forward that Mr Snape would like to share with you.” Snape glared.
“I would not like to-” Regulus reached for his wand and Snape hesitated, then sighed. “Sirius didn’t tell me willingly, I made him drink veritaserum.” There was stunned silence for a moment before several things happened at once.
“You what?” Remus practically shrieked and Peter’s jaw dropped but James was quick on the draw, in one swift movement he grabbed Snape by the hair and slammed his head into the desk. Letting out a yelp he grabbed his face which was now bloody.
“Potter!” Mcgonagle stood. “I understand you’re upset but I cannot tolerate you physically harming other students.”
“Sorry.” He didn’t look remorseful in the slightest and Regulus almost cracked a smile at that. “Won’t happen again professor.” She pursed her lips.
“See that it doesn’t. You four may leave, I need to discuss punishment with Mr Snape.” The three filed out and after one last glare, so did Regulus. Remus leaned against the wall and put his head in his hands and Peter just stared at Remus while James paced. Regulus studied them for a moment before letting out a small sigh.
“I need to go find Sirius. You got that map?” That got Remus’s attention.
“No, he took it when he…” Remus trailed off.
“I know he stopped sleeping in the dorm, I’m not stupid.” Turning sharply he walked off. After a moment the others hurried after him.
“Where are you going?” James did his best to walk beside him but Regulus took a half step to the side to give himself more space.
“The Come and Go Room. That's where he’s been staying, you’re not invited.” Despite his harsh words they didn’t stop following him.
“What do you mean by the Come and Go room?” He sighed, they weren’t going to leave. It was sweet if he thought about it, them caring so much, but he was still mad they had ignored Sirius for over a month so he just glared before answering.
“It’s a secret room in the castle, it changes based on what you need it to be.”
“The Room Of Requirement?”
“Call it whatever you want Pettigrew, if he’s in there the door will be there, it won’t let me in but I can wait for him to come out.” Remus frowned.
“It won’t let you in? That doesn’t sound right, it always lets us in, even if another one of us is in there already.”
“Are you lot really this thick? It gives you what you need, so if he needs to be alone then it won’t let anyone in.” They were silent for awhile until they made it to the corridor with the Come and Go Room. There wasn’t a door and Regulus stopped, frowning.
“He’s usually here.”
“Maybe he went on a walk?” Regulus just shook his head and started pacing in front of the empty stretch of wall, his sense of dread growing.
I need in, I need to find that map. Please please please. He didn't even realize the door had appeared until James tapped his shoulder. Stepping away he walked over to the door and pushed it open.
The room was relatively small. It had a desk, wardrobe, bed, bed stands, and a door he assumed led to a bathroom. He frowned seeing the clothes and books scattered across the floor, Sirius was neat by nature, and did a quick sweep of the room. Seeing a large sheet of parchment on the bed stand he grabbed it, showing it to the three boys with a raised eyebrow. Remus snatched it from his hand and as he muttered something to the parchment Regulus glanced back to the bed stand. A glint of silver caught his eye and he picked a switchblade up, blood still evident on the blade. His frown deepened and he returned it to its previous position.
“He's on the Astronomy Tower.” Peter broke the silence and Regulus’s heart nearly stopped.
“No, fuck, that can't be right.” Remus shrugged.
“The map never lies. He smokes up there sometimes.” Regulus groaned.
“You're so fucking stupid. He smokes up there with you, never on his own. He only goes up there alone… fuck.” He bolted out of the room and for the third time in the last hour and a half the three other boys were left trying to catch up.
“What do you mean fuck? What's going on?” Regulus groaned again.
“He hasn't been up there alone in years, he swore to me he'd always bring someone if he wanted to go up there, fuck fuck fuck.” James grabbed his wrist, making him stop and Regulus almost screamed in frustration.
“What do you mean he swore he'd always bring someone with him? What's going on?” Regulus tore a hand through his hair.
“Fine, when I was in second year I found him up there, he was ready to jump. I got him down and he promised he'd always bring someone with him if he went up there, just to be sure. And now he's up there alone, after you assholes ignored him for weeks. He's been fucking depressed and now he's alone on the tower, now let me the fuck go so I can go get him.” He tore out of James's grip and ran, taking every shortcut he could think of to try to get to him in time.
- - -
Sirius's mind had gone fuzzy as he stared down at the ground. One thought managed to form through the buzzing in his ears.
He wanted to jump.
Reason and logic were struggling to get his attention. It'd blow over, his friends couldn't hate him forever. Reggie would be heartbroken. It didn't seem real though, the only things that felt real were the cold stones he was gripping the edge of, the very long fall in front of him, and a painful hole in his chest.
He wanted to jump.
It was so simple, so easy. Let go and lean forward a little. It'd be over. No more of this silly pointless pain. He released his grip and was about to lean forward when someone screamed.
“Carpe retractum!” There was a harsh tug around his stomach and he was dragged backwards, slamming against the ground. The world spun, being dragged out of the fuzzy world had him blinking, disoriented, at the figures around him. One dropped to the ground next to him and pulled him into a tight hug, sobbing onto his shoulder.
“You fucking idiot.” Sirius frowned.
“Reggie?” He tightened his grip around Sirius, nearly making him cry out in pain if he wasn't so used to everything hurting. There were several more figures kneeling around him and as his vision refocused on the present he realized they were his friends, Remus was closest, a hand on his back, helping to support him while Reggie climbed nearly on top of him, James knelt a few feet away with Peter, both watching him with terrified expressions.
“Remu? Jamie? Pete? What's… what's going on?” He realized Regulus was shaking and he suddenly realized what his baby brother had just seen. He'd been nearly off the edge, moments away from falling. That kind of thing would traumatize someone.
“Reggie, shh, please don't cry.”
“Don't fucking tell me not to cry, you promised me!” Sirius let out a shaky breath.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, I fucked up, I-” Remus shushed him gently.
“Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong.”
“I told Snape I- I could have gotten you killed!” His breath caught and he started crying. Remus scooted behind him so he could lean against his chest.
“Hey, hey, you didn't tell Snape. Telling someone and having the information forced out of you are so, so different.” Sirius looked up, sad puppy eyes staring at him.
“I… You…”
“Snape was bragging about it to his friend. I made him tell them.” Reggie didn't even look up, just mumbled his explanation into Sirius’s chest.
“Oh.” James scooted closer.
“I'm sorry I didn't let you talk, Pads.” Pads. Not Black, not Sirius. Pads. He broke down crying again and they sat there for several minutes before Remus spoke gently.
“How about we get you back to the dorms? Reggie can come too and you can get some sleep? How's that sound?” Sirius hummed in agreement. Sleep sounded wonderful, despite how much time he has spent in bed the last few weeks very little of it had been sleeping. Most of the time he just laid there and cried.
He was vaguely aware that he was being helped to his feet and guided down the tower but he was stuck in his own little world.
“What's going on in that head of yours Siri?” Remus wrapped an arm around him and Sirius leaned into his shoulder.
“Too much. Not enough. Just thoughts.” He could tell his answer didn't satisfy Remus because after a moment Regulus spoke.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” He shook his head. “Do you think you could talk about it maybe some other time?”
“Suppose.” They spent the rest of the time headed back to the dorm in silence. Even the Fat Lady didn't want to break it apparently because she swung open without bothering to ask for the password.
The common room had mostly emptied except for a few second years who scurried out of the group's way quickly. They made their way up to the dorm and Remus led Sirius to his bed, having him sit, Regulus settling on the edge of the bed next to him.
“Do you wanna try to get some sleep Siri?” He nodded slightly. “Alright, I know all your clothes are still down in the Room, do you want me to send James and Peter to get them or do you wanna borrow a jumper?” He hesitated for a moment, he didn't want to overstep whatever this was but…
“Can I have a jumper?”
“Of course.” While he went for a jumper Regulus spoke to him softly.
“Tu veux que je reste? Ou est-ce que tu vas bien tout seul?” (Do you want me to stay? Or are you okay on your own?) He shrugged slightly.
“Tu peux partir. Ca ira.” (You can go. It'll be fine.) Regulus frowned.
“Je n'essaye pas de t'abandonner. Je ne sais juste pas à quel point ils apprécieraient que je reste.” (I'm not trying to abandon you. I just don't know how much they would appreciate me staying.) Remus reappeared with a jumper and frowned at the two of them.
“Je sais, tout ira bien.” (I know, I'll be fine.) Regulus sighed.
“D'accord. Je viendrai te voir demain matin alors.” (Okay, I'll come see you in the morning then.) He stood and slipped out. Sirius shrunk in on himself slightly but accepted the jumper.
“Thank you.” Remus just nodded.
“Of course, do you want to change and try to sleep?” He nodded. “Do you want to sleep on your own or do you want cuddles?” Sirius shrugged slightly.
“Alone I think. If that's okay.”
“Of course it's okay. Go on and change.” Sirius slipped into the bathroom, ditching his cloak and shirt in exchange for Remus’s jumper. He could hear muttering outside but by time he came back out they had stopped talking and Peter and James were getting ready for bed quietly. Sirius settled on his bed, curling under the covers and Remus laid on his bed next to him, pulling out a book.
“Remus?”
“Yeah?” Sirius hesitated.
“I'm sorry.” Remus set his book aside.
“You don't have to be sorry, I should be sorry. I should have let you talk.” Sirius shook his head.
“You were angry, rightfully so.” Remus just pursed his lips.
“How about I start letting you talk and explain what's going on and you stop getting drugged?” A small smile tugged at Remus’s lips and Sirius couldn't help but giggle a bit.
“Deal.” He curled up again and Remus picked up his book, turning the lights down so Peter and James could still see to move around but Sirius could sleep. Remus was always good at seeing in the dark, a werewolf thing he claimed, and so kept reading. A few minutes later Sirius spoke up hesitantly.
“Remus?”
“Yeah Siri?” He gave Remus his best pouty eyes.
“Can I get cuddles?” Remus set his book on the bedside table and pulled his blanket up, an invitation Sirius pounced on immediately. He hadn't realized just how much he missed just the feeling of Remus breathing while he laid on top of his chest but nuzzling into Remus he felt whole for the first time weeks, finally content.