For Symptoms Lasting More Than Four Hours, See Your Healer
Title: For Symptoms Lasting More Than Four Hours, See Your Healer
Rating: M
Word Count: 250
Warnings: N/A
Prompt: Charms
“This isn’t what it looks like,” Draco insisted, desperately wishing he could sink through the examination table and onwards, down through the earth’s crust to the inner core—which was likely as hot as his face.
His Healer trainee seemed faintly upset. “It looks like you miscast an Engorgement Charm on your genitalia, which would be an absurd thing to do before a date. Am I wrong?”
“No,” he admitted, watching warily as Granger aimed her wand directly at his painfully engorged trouser snake.
Just his luck that she happened to be volunteering with Madam Pomfrey now, mere hours before their first date. Surely she had to be assuming that he was some sort of degenerate—and, worse, that he was awful at charms.
“I accidentally saw Weasley naked,” he blurted out, face getting even hotter. “After Quidditch. I understand if you never want to—y’know, with me, but—Weasley’s hung like a bloody centaur, and if that’s what you’re used to—”
“That’s what this is about??” She laughed disbelievingly before waving her wand, sweet relief washing over him as his tallywacker reverted back to normal.
She leaned closer and said, “You’re ridiculous. Perhaps instead of a date, you’re in need of a charms lesson. I can teach you some exceptionally fun spells.”
He glanced down at his lap to confirm if he was being magically influenced again or reacting as usual. He didn’t much care for homework but found he was immensely looking forward to his next charms lesson.