08. Cinnamon & Sunshine
||Elliana's P.O.V.||
As I laid there waiting for sleep to pull me under, Edward's face was all I could see. Anytime I so much as closed my eyes, I could feel the memory of the coolness of his body pressed against mine. This would be the first night in months that I hadn't spent in his arms. Without his presence, I feared the nightmares would return.
Not wanting to have a sleepless night before my first day of classes, I hopped out of bed, planning on seeing if Natalie had any Dreamless Sleep potion. When I walked into the common room, I was surprised to see Cedric sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.
My heart clenched, sensing the sorrow rolling off him. Acting on instinct, I rushed to his side, desperate to console my friend.
"Ced..." I spoke softly, placing a hand on his back as I sat down beside him. "What's wrong?"
He stiffened, a moment passing before he lifted his head to look at me. His stormy eyes were weak and weary as they locked with mine.
"..Just.. can't sleep," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair and causing it to stand up on end.
At the sight, my thoughts drifted to Edward, recalling how many times he's done the exact same thing. My heart felt a bit heavier at the reminder, a lump forming in my throat as I stared at my best friend.
"Why not?" I asked, my hand still on his back as I studied his face. "You look exhausted. Are you not feeling well?"
He offered me a sheepish smile that was miles away from reaching his eyes. "No.. Just.. nightmares."
I rubbed his back in a soothing manner, studying his face. There was a weariness etched in his features that gave away just how mentally exhausted he truly was.
"Would you like some Dreamless Sleep potion?" I suggested. "I was on my way to see if Nat had any."
He knitted his brows, a look of concern falling over him. "Are you having nightmares too?"
A soft sigh escaped me as I nodded, pulling my hand from his back and placing it in my lap. "Sometimes.." Sensing that he was going to push for details, I was quick to say, "Nothing that a little potion can't fix."
He released a deep breath, his shoulders slumping forward. "The Sleeping Draught hasn't been very successful at easing mine..."
"Really?" I arched a brow, my heart clenching when I realized just how bad his nightmares must be.
He shook his head, clenching his jaw as he stared blankly straight ahead. "..I can't escape them."
I stayed silent for a moment, trying to determine if talking about them would make it worse for him. Finally, I decided to ask, "..What are they about?"
His jaw ticked, his features hardening for a split second before looking at me with raw vulnerability shining in his eyes. "...Darkness."
He inhaled a shaky breath, visibly gulping as he held my gaze, tears glistening in his stormy skies, "Just darkness... An all-encompassing darkness. Loneliness.. I-I can't explain it.."
I could literally feel my heart breaking in my chest when I took note of the pure sorrow and heartache lingering in the depths of his pupils. When the first tear slid down his face, my hand immediately shot out to wipe it away.
Before, it seemed like he was always the one to do the comforting. Now, it was my turn to return the favor. I could hardly imagine what he must be going through after being... gone... for half a year. It was hard telling what sort of effects that his 'death' has had on him mentally.
I scooted closer to him, wrapping my arms around him in a bid to hold him together. He melted against me, resting his head against my chest as a quiet sob escaped him. A few heartbeats passed before his arms encircled me, clutching on to me as though I was a lifeline as I allowed him to cry his heart out.
"Please... don't leave me again," he choked out between tears, his voice rough with emotion.
My heart dropped to my stomach at his pleading tone. I tightened my hold on him as I whispered back, "I'm not going anywhere, Ced."
He sniffled, lifting his head and meeting my gaze, his cheeks flushed and tear-stained as he held up his pinky. "..Pinky promise?"
In that moment, my heart weighed a thousand pounds. I had never seen him look so.. vulnerable.. so broken..
Willing to do anything to see the light return to his eyes, I hooked my pinky around his and spoke with utmost sincerity, "Pinky promise."
***
My body felt unnaturally heavy as I slowly started to wake up. My eyes fluttered open, confusion sweeping through me when I realized I was in the common room.
It took me a moment to collect myself enough to realize why I felt so heavy— A pair of arms were wrapped around my torso, a sleeping Cedric using my stomach as a pillow.
As I watched his chest rise and fall evenly, I counted his breaths. He looked so peaceful; tranquil. The weariness was all but erased from his sun-kissed features amidst his sleep. My heart warmed in my chest as I stared at him, overcome with affection for my best friend who I never expected to see alive and breathing again in this lifetime.
Yet, there he was— Sleeping peacefully.
I wasn't sure how we both managed to fall asleep on the rather lumpy couch in the middle of the common room, but somehow, we did. He had basically cried himself to sleep, passing out from sheer exhaustion in my arms, and I must have followed suit. Jet lag would do that to you.
With as calm and serene as he looked, I hated having to wake him up, but I didn't have much of a choice. I knew our fellow classmates would start stirring soon, so it was only a matter of time before they started trickling into the common room. And the last thing Cedric needed was word getting back to Cho that he had fallen asleep in the arms of his best friend. As innocent as the situation truly was, I knew she'd be far from pleased by it.
Edward's face flashed in my mind. Would he be upset too? A wave of guilt coursed through me at the thought, despite the innocence of it all. I would never intentionally do anything considered 'disloyal'.
"Ced," I spoke his name softly, gently shaking him. "Wake up."
He grumbled something incoherently beneath his breath, tightening his hold on me. I would've been amused if I hadn't been feeling so guilty.
"Come on," I nudged him, trying to sit up properly.
He groaned in clear frustration before slowly opening his eyes, immediately locking with mine. I watched as his cheeks proceeded to redden, his eyes widening when he realized the situation.
I expected him to possibly be horrified, but to my surprise, he simply smiled and said, "That's the most sleep I've gotten since..."
He didn't have to finish the sentence. I knew what he meant— Since his 'return'.
I offered him a half-hearted smile that didn't quite reach my eyes as I untangled myself from him, standing up from the couch and running a hand through my hair. The guilt continued to linger, eating at me.
I could feel him studying my face as he sat up, his voice full of concern as he asked, "..You okay?"
"Yeah," I was quick to say. Too quick. "..I just.. didn't expect to fall asleep."
He quirked a brow, standing up beside me. "It's okay," he chuckled. "Wouldn't be the first time we fell asleep in the common room."
He was right, of course. It was, however, the first time I fell asleep cuddled up with him while I had a loving boyfriend back home in the States. I opened my mouth, about to explain the situation to him before remembering that I couldn't.
"Elliana.." He smiled softly, placing his hands on my arms and peering into my eyes. "Breathe. Seriously."
My hand automatically flew up to the heart-shaped stone hanging around my neck. I could practically hear Edward's smooth, velvet voice whispering 'Breathe' like he's done countless times before when I was on the verge of a panic attack.
"..I'm breathing," I mumbled, forcing a dry laugh.
His eyes continued roaming over my face before noticing my necklace. "What's that?"
I continued clutching the heart-shaped stone before reluctantly opening my palm to show him.
His brows flew up his forehead as he reached out and took it in his hand, running his thumb over the smooth object.
"A rock?" His voice was laced with amusement. "You're wearing a rock as a necklace?"
"Yes." I shrugged, taking my 'rock' from him and tucking it under my shirt once more.
He pursed his lips, tilting his head to the side. "...Why?"
I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, trying to think of an answer on the spot. "Because I like it."
That's honest enough.
A moment passed before he chuckled, placing his hands in his pockets. "..Because it's shaped like a heart?"
I nodded, grateful that he put 'two and two together' on his own. "Exactly. Yeah."
He graced me with his famous crooked grin, his gray eyes dancing. "That's so... you."
I breathed out a laugh at that, the tension leaving my body. Before I had a chance to so much as speak, he was wrapping his arms around me and crushing me to his chest in a tight embrace. Cedric was always known for his warm hugs and now was no exception.
It took me a moment to hug him back, still a bit stunned.
He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply before whispering, "I missed you."
My heart clenched in my chest. To him, only a month has passed since he last saw me. But in reality, seven months have gone by. Seven months of thinking that I would never see my best friend again— The boy whom I had loved for six long years.
With that in mind, I hugged him a little tighter, inhaling his signature scent that I had memorized by heart— Cinnamon and sunshine.
"I missed you more.." I whispered back, an emotional lump forming in my throat.
***
After returning to my dorm to hurry and get ready for the day, I rushed out into the common room once more with my letter addressed to Edward tucked away in my robes. Natalie was there to greet me with a warm smile on her face.
"Good morning, Elle!" She beamed, bright-eyed and bushy tailed.
She was totally a morning person. I totally wasn't.
"Good morning, Nat," I greeted her, returning her smile to the best of my ability.
Before she could respond, the sound of Cedric's voice came from behind us. "Ready for breakfast?"
I turned to look at him, taking note that he looked just as bright-eyed as Natalie.
Natalie hopped up from the couch. "You know it," she responded with a grin before looking at me and saying, "..You look tired."
I glanced at Cedric before saying, "..I didn't get much sleep."
He arched a brow at me, a faint smile playing on his lips.
As we made our way to the Great Hall, I could feel Cedric's eyes trail in my direction countless times. It seemed as though something was on his mind. I noticed the students as we walked by, noting how they glanced at him with wary eyes. A few times I caught their gazes and narrowed my eyes at them, wondering what their problem was.
With every step we took, my heart felt a little heavier— The letter burning a hole in my pocket. I was hoping to catch Professor Snape or Hagrid before my first class, so one of them could mail it for me. I didn't want to take the chance on Edward not getting my letter if I were to mail it myself.
Cedric was staring blankly straight ahead as we walked into the Great Hall, but Natalie kept glancing at me with worried eyes.
"Why the long face?" She asked, nudging me with her elbow.
"I don't have a long face," I spoke in a hushed tone as we made our way to the Gryffindor table where the twins were already seated.
Fred was quick to jump out of his seat and plant a kiss on Natalie's lips before pulling her to the empty seat beside him. George was sitting directly across from him, looking up at me with a cheeky grin. I noticed that Cho Chang was sitting at the Ravenclaw table, surrounded by several of her friends. There was as empty seat next to her that I was certain Cedric was going to claim.
Since they started dating, he never failed to sit with her at every meal. Well, aside from yesterday at dinner, of course. So, you can imagine my surprise when he plopped down in the seat next to George and looked up at me with a glorious smile.
My brows knitted in confusion before I sat down next to Natalie, taking note when his smile slowly fell from his face as he began making his plate.
"Elle." George batted his eyes at me, smiling dreamily as he placed his hand under his chin. "Did you get your beauty sleep?"
I opened my mouth to respond, but he continued before I had a chance.
"Of course, you did. Look at you. You're glowing." He grinned from ear to ear, tilting his head to the side as though he was 'admiring' me. "Positively radiant."
My brows flew up my forehead in surprise. Fred glanced at his twin brother and smirked, snickering to himself. Cedric's mouth fell open as he stared at George with a look of shock.
I pressed my lips into a thin line before reaching for the honey, flashing the blushing red-headed boy a smile, grateful for the distraction from my incessant thoughts.
"Thanks, George." I met his starry-eyed gaze. "You're dashing as always."
"You think so?" He arched a brow, his grin growing.
I nodded, grinning. "Most definitely."
George's blushing intensified, which I couldn't help but giggle at. My red-headed friend has always been a big flirt, but it was never directed towards me. Still, I knew he was only teasing, so I didn't see any harm in going along with it.
"Did you get your schedule?" Cedric spoke up, his gray eyes meeting mine.
"I did." I fished the piece of paper out of my pocket and laid it on the table. "Looks like I have Herbology this morning."
"Me too!" Cedric beamed at me, his eyes dancing before casually nodding at Natalie. "And Nat too, of course."
***
After breakfast, I still had an hour and a half to kill before Herbology, so I figured it would do me some good to go for a run. It was important that I continued with my training, after all. I could practically hear Jay scolding me, telling me not to 'slack off'. Plus, it'd give me a chance to ensure my letter made it to the post.
As I stood up from the table and slung my bag over my shoulder, I flashed my friends a smile and said, "I'll see you guys later."
Just as I was making my leave, a hand wrapped around my upper arm, stopping me. Furrowing my brows, I tilted my head back and was met with Cedric's bright eyes. He dropped his hand from my upper arm and smiled sheepishly as I turned around to face him.
"What's up?" I asked him, tilting my head.
He rocked back and forth on his heels before asking, "Where are you going?"
"For a run," I told him as I continued walking, pulling out my wand and casting a charm to transfigure my robes into the proper attire.
His brows flew up his forehead as he walked alongside me, looking me and up down with furrowed brows. "..Since when do you run?"
"For the past several months. I've been trying to stay in shape."
"Since when do you 'stay in shape'?" He asked, looking genuinely curious.
Full of questions, isn't he?
I rolled my eyes playfully. "Since now, Ced."
When I made it to the exit leading out to the courtyard, I glanced at him from over my shoulder and said, "I'll see you in Herbology."
***
The second I walked into the greenhouse, I locked eyes with Cedric and Natalie, offering them a smile and a wave. Professor Sprout announced that we'd start the day off with some pruning, so everyone started pairing up.
All throughout the years, Cedric and I had been 'pruning partners'. It was tradition. But given the fact that we were sharing the greenhouse with the Ravenclaws this year, I assumed he'd pair up with Cho. With that in mind, I figured Natalie and I would be partners, but she was quick to flock to her friend, Robin.
When I saw that Cedric's roommate, Sebastian Leer, had yet to pair up with someone, I walked towards him.
"Hey, Bash. Wanna team up this go round?" I asked him with a small smile.
I had never been personally close to Bash, but he was close friends with Cedric, and any friend of his was a friend of mine.
Bash's brows flew up his forehead, his brown eyes wide. "Yeah, sure, I guess? Why not?"
Just as we were donning our dragon-hide gloves, I noticed Cedric approaching out of the corner of my eye. He rubbed his hands together, staring at me with a crooked grin.
"Ready to get some pruning done, Elliana?" He asked, his smile growing.
For a moment, I just looked at him in confusion, my gaze drifting to the back of the greenhouse where I saw Cho engaging in a conversation with three of her friends.
"..Oh, um.." I trailed off, glancing at his roommate before saying, "I actually just partnered up with Bash."
Was I wrong for assuming that he'd rather have his girlfriend as his pruning partner instead of sticking to tradition?
Cedric furrowed his brows, his eyes narrowing at Bash before locking with mine, folding his arms across his chest as he asked, "Why?"
Bash glanced back and forth between us before taking a hesitant step back, raising his hands as if to surrender. "..I'll just team up with Melvin."
"You do that," Ced mumbled beneath his breath as Bash walked away, his eyes never leaving mine as he firmly spoke, "Is there a reason why you wanted to break tradition, Elliana? You interested in Sebastian Leer all of a sudden?"
My jaw went slack at the insinuation. "What? Merlin, no."
The thought was almost laughable, considering my heart was very much entwined with a certain golden-eyed vampire back home. Not that Cedric knew that, of course.
He simply stared at me with a blank expression, quirking a brow, still expecting further elaboration. I ran a hand through my hair for the umpteenth time that morning and sighed.
"..Ced, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings," I spoke with full sincerity. "I just assumed you'd partner up with Cho."
His face visibly paled, his features hardening. "..You thought I'd.. team up with her?"
I quirked a brow at his stern tone. "Yeah? I mean, she's your girlfriend, so why wouldn't—"
He cut me off mid-sentence, blurting out, "She's not my girlfriend."
Once more, my jaw hit the ground. I was starting to fear it'd get stuck that way. I blinked rapidly, a bit taken aback, if I was being honest. Then again, should I be? Seven months had gone by since Cedric's 'death', and yet, I had assumed the two would simply pick up where they left off? The thought didn't so much as occur to me that they wouldn't.
His eyes raked over my face, a moment of silence elapsing between us before he continued, his voice laced with a bitterness that was barely concealed, "..A lot can change in seven months, huh?"
His comment was the push I needed to pull myself from my thoughts, taking in the heartache lurking in the depths of his pupils. To others, it may not have been noticeable, but I knew him. I knew Cedric Diggory like the back of my hand. Or at least I used to..
"..Ced, I'm.." I trailed off, unsure what to say to ease the pain in his eyes. Finally, I settled for the only thing I could say, "..I'm sorry.."
He visibly gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he dropped his gaze to the dirt floor. A long moment passed before his eyes met mine once more, his lips pressed into a thin line before he forced a faint smile my way.
"..It's okay," he breathed out, running a hand through his hair. "It has to be okay, huh?"
I studied his expression, wishing for the light to return to his eyes. A few heartbeats passed before I nodded.
"Yeah," I spoke softly, reaching out and placing my hand on his arm in a gesture of comfort. "..It will be okay, Ced."
He looked at me, his eyes of silver poring into mine. Several heartbeats passed before he nodded, a crooked grin gracing his lips. I could tell it was forced, but it was something.
He held up a pair of pruning shears and said, "..Shall we get to pruning then?"
I nodded, returning his smile. "We shall."
We started tending to the Mandrakes, sifting the soil with our wands. The two of us worked together in comfortable silence for a while before he spoke.
"..So.." He trailed off, his brows knitting as he stared down at a leaf that he placed between his fingers. "..I heard Lockhart moved to the States."
I caught a glimpse of the deep-seated frown that claimed his lips as he mentioned my friend. Cedric was never a fan of Trevor, given the fact that the Gryffindor had been pining after his girlfriend. His dislike was understandable, but I always found Trevor to be good company. The blue-eyed boy had even been my first kiss. Although we never developed a truly 'romantic' relationship, I considered Trevor to be a good friend of mine.
Edward, of course, wasn't his biggest fan at first either, having considered him to be 'competition' for my affections. But he had been tolerating him quite well; especially since Trevor made things 'official' with Amy.
"Yeah, he did," I responded to my frowning friend, flicking my wand to sift some soil on a potted plant. "He started attending Ilvermony not too far from me."
He hummed in response, pursing his lips. A look of annoyance flickered across his features, but it happened so quickly that I thought I had imagined it.
He shot a small stream of water from his wand, watering the bed of roses as he spoke, his voice clipped, "So, he followed you halfway across the world, did he?"
I couldn't help but breathe out a laugh at that, shaking my head. "He didn't 'follow' me, Ced. It was just a coincidence."
He gave me a disbelieving look, his jaw clenching. Clearly, he didn't believe me.
I met his annoyed gaze and explained, "His granddad's getting up there in age and needed a little extra help keeping up with his bookstore in Stitcher's Bend and stuff. That's why he and his mom moved. Not because of me."
The very thought of Trevor 'following' me to the States was laughable, in my opinion.
Cedric met my gaze, a moment passing before he nodded. "I see..."
Another laugh escaped me at his bemused expression. Obviously, he was still holding a grudge against Trevor for his infatuation with Chang.
"I take it the two of you grew closer then?" He questioned with a quirked brow, his face completely blank.
His question was sort of unexpected, and for a second, I wasn't sure how to respond.
"I mean.." I lifted one shoulder in a partial shrug, running my gloved hand along the leaves of a Moly plant. "No closer than we already were really."
He nodded once, appearing to be quite invested in the thorns on a rose stem. "..So.. The two of you didn't..." He trailed off, licking his lips before hesitantly locking eyes with me as he continued, "..get together?"
My mouth fell open, taken aback by the question. In hindsight, I guess I could see why he was asking. Trevor and I did go on a couple of dates last year, after all.
"No." I chuckled. "Definitely not."
His eyes narrowed in my direction, as though he was studying me. When he was content with his findings, a smile stretched across his face.
"Good," he blurted out, breathing a sigh of relief. "You deserve better than him.."
I quirked a brow at his comment, feeling the need to defend Trevor in his absence.
"He's a good guy, Ced," I was quick to say. "And a great friend."
He pressed his lips into a thin line, seconds elapsing before he mumbled beneath his breath, "..My comment still stands."
||AUTHOR'S NOTE||
AHHH! I'm having so much fun writing this story!! ☺️I'm so glad she's back at Hogwarts. Now, we just have to get Edward and his siblings there here soon. 😉 Can you imagine Edward and Cedric meeting for the first time? Can you say 'awkward'?" 🤭