Chapter 4
Demonslu:: guys help I js escape jail
Demonslut:PH SHIT THEYRE CHASING ME
Demonslut: JJGgKq w I,k;&×(79bls sh
Bitch: how the fuck are you in jail
Bitch: I saw you literally 2 hours ago
Daddysboy: really? Do you and dazai associate now?
Bitch: no I fucking walked into the club room and him and Blaise were fucking cuddling
Demonslut: NO HOMO GUYS NO HOMO
Sexyslug: bitch everything with u is homo
Demonslut: LIES DO NOT- EKDIUD OH SHIT
Heroin: Dazai! Are you OK? How are you in prison!?
Heroin: dazai professor mcgonnagol is asking where you are, what should I tell her?
Demonslut: &£@<7ndbHJudo ksoq9q8
Sexyslug: just tell her he's sick or smth
Heroin: GUYS I PANICKED AND TOLD HER HE FELL OUT A WINDOW
Bitch: how the fuck?
Sexyslug: that did happen tbf
Sexyslug: I threw him out my window last night and accidentally broke his arm 😭
Bitch: i love you so much
Bitch: can we get married?
Sexyslug: oh...!
Daddysboy: how was dazai in yokahoma?
Doubleginger: HI GUYS 👦
Doubleginger: HOLD UP WE BACKREAD
Doubleginger: SNAKEY ARE YOU OK
Doubleginger: SEXYSLUG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM
Sexyslug: wtf I did nothing
Sexyslug: I have no idea how he got arrested
Heroin: you threw him out a window and broke his arm??
Sexyslug: SHUT UP DRUG DEALER IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
Demonslut: NO A EASNT
Doubleginger: WE WILL AVENGE YOU SNAKEY WE ARE COMING TO YOLAHOMA TO EAT YOU SEXYSLUG
Sexyslug: why are yall fucking dazai simps
Demonslut: bc I'm amazing
Demonslut: don't act Like you aren't a dazai simp as well bb chibi
Bitch: EXPLANATION?!?!?
Bitch: on getting arrested, not on sexyslug being a simp
Demonslut: of course, bitch!
Sexyslug: fuck u all
Demonslut: NO INTERRUPTIONS LOML
Sexyslug: I don't accept this name
dazaiosameow changed sexyslugs name to loml
daddysboy: what does lol mean?
Loml: uncultured snob
Demonslut: LOML AND DADDYSLUT SHUT UP
Daddysboy: DADDY WHAT?
Heroin: dazai please just explain
Doubleginger: yeah we need to know who to kill
Bitch: or kiss!
Demonslut: as if anyone would kiss you
Demonslut: ANYWAY
Demonslut: I was walking back from chibis apartment trying to find sm1 to appartae me right
Demonslut: and I DID so It was this sketchy ass guy but there was lit no one else around and I live for the drama so I asked him
Demonslut: AND THEN when he apparated me he tried to kidnap me😭😭
Demonslut: so I knocked him out and he like almost died but not important
Heroin: are you OK?!?
Bitch: how the fuck did your weak ass knock him out
Demonslut: shush I'm not finished
Demonslut: anyway so the guy apparated he to like the other side of Scotland so I stole sm1s car from the road and started driving but I was like still drunk from the slugs apartment so I crashed
Loml: bitch you know mori banned you from driving
Demonslug: FUCK MORI
Demonslut: I was a bad gurl I did some bad things🫸😣🙏💓
Bitch: what the fuck
Loml: hoe u did not just quote jojo siwa
Demonslut: DREAM GUEST ON MY PODCAST💀💓🫦
Heroin: how did you end up in jail then?
Demonslut: yeah well I crashed into an entire family and got taken in for manslaughter or smth
Bitch: EHAT THE FUCK.
Loml: that was so unexpected hlep😭
Demonslut: yeah and UM FUCK U CHIBI
Loml: the fuck did I do?
Demonslut: I USED MY ONE PHONECALL ON YOU AND THE SECOND U HEARD ME SPEAK U HUNG UP
Loml: oh oops
Loml: thought u were just asking me to be ur bf again or smth
Bitch: whoah what
Bjtch: dazai u homo?
Demonslut: half homO
Demonslut: AND WAIT TO OUT ME BRO WTF
Loml: u don't get to come out anymore
Loml: guys did u know when he came out to me I was doing cpr on him and he just sits up and goes " Hey did u know I'm bisexual!"
Daddysboy: are we ignoring the fact that dazai committed manslaughter
Bitch: I think so yes
Demonslut: come on don't act like you haven't committed manslaughter b4
Heroin: NO WHAT ON EARTH😭
Doubleginger: um snakey you know there's this thing called therapy!
Doubleginger: we're taking you to it!
Demonslut: nah the last time i went to therapy she had I mental breakdown amd tried to khs💀
Demonslut: so I told her to not khs rn and that we cld do double suicide!
Demonslut: she's now in a mental asylum
Bitch: you're a fucking psychopath
Bald: dazai if you need therapy I can book you a session.
Bitch: DUDE DO U LIT JUST WAIT UNYIL HE SAYS SMTH CONCERNING TO POP UP
bald: yes.
Loml: what did I say
Loml: yall are dazais fucking ASS KISSERS
Demonslut: HAH I KNEW U THOUGHT I HAD AN ASS
Heroin: guys what do u do if your crush has a gf?
Demonslut: HMM WHO CLD THIS BE ABT
Bitch: @ronweasel pull up hoe
Bitch: holt shit I sounded so much like dazaj there
Bitch: I'm going to kms
Demonslut: NOT W/OUT ME PLS PANSY
Heroin: don't joke about suicide
Demonslut: who said I was joking?
Loml: bros jumped off to many buildings for it to be a joke anymore
Demonslut: STOP OUTING ME CUNT
Loml: NO NEVER FORGIVING U FOR MAKINH ALL MY FRIENDS LEAVE ME AMD THEM PROBABLY DYING
Loml: they were my bffls💔💔
Demonslut: they were so toxic and u know it
Loml: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO MURDER THEM THO?!?
Demonslut: stop trauma dumping bae
Loml: u literally trauma dump 24/7 hoe.
Bald: dazai I'm here if you need to talk!
Loml: I literally just told u guys he murdered my friends and this is what u say
Demonslut: MY DAY ONES‼️
Demonslut: anyway @ronweasel how's ur gf
Babyginger: she's fnie whhy?
Daddysboy: merlin he's stupid
Loml: who the fuck is merlin
Demonslut: it's kinda like u saying " arahabaki he's stupid!"
Loml: 💀💀 die
Demonslut: Ron have u broken up with ugly lav yet
Babyginger: no waht? She's my girlfriend??
Demonslut: @hermingrang I'm so sorry bae
Demonslut: this is why you don't go for the stupid small gingers
Loml: why do I feel targeted
Demonslut: HA I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO SAY I WAS TALKING ABT U LMAO
Heroin: it's OK don't worry dazai. I'm glad you tried.
Babyginger: I dnot get wahts happenin
Doubleginger: damn ur oblivious lil bro
Daddysboy: they want you to break up with lavender and get with granger
Loml: NAH IM NKT THE OUTER HERE
Demonslut: CRAZY SHIT DRACO
Babyginger: I dnot get it?
Bitch: fuck me he's oblivious
Bald: dazai, Snape is looking for you. I think it's because you haven't been to classes in two days.
Loml: 💀💀
Heroin: I told you this would happen!
Demonslut: I'm so fucked.
Bitch: haha karma slut
Demonslut: what for😭
Bitch: living
Demonslut: IVE BEEN TRYING NOT TO LIVE BUT PPL KEEP SAVING ME
Loml: CRAZY😭😭
Doubleginger: yeah we're booking therapy
Bald: I will help
Demonslut: GUYS SHIT SNAPES COMING
Demonslut: HELPA AMJEIEHDBQO8
Bitch: deserved.
Loml: deserved.
Bitch: damn we synced
Loml: I acc kinda like u can we be friends
Bitch: yes pls it wld piss of dazai so much
Loml: exactly what I was thinking!
Demonslut: 💀