Deep thoughts
“Hinya,” Maglor immediately moved to engulf his child in his arms. Gilriant melted into the touch pressing his face against his father’s hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Without moving the young elf replied, “No Atya, I’m sorry. I knew this was going to upset you. For that reason I would consider walking away from it, but I can’t.” The bard made a shushing sound, “I know. I’m so proud of you, and scared for you.” He held his son close, neither caring about the hovering of Glorfindel and Haldir in the background. They were there for support after all. After a long moment Maglor pulled back, cupping Gilriant’s face in his hands.
“You are not doing this without me.” The young elf’s eyes lit up in protest even as the bard continued. “You are not. Think about it, Eru made the oath dormant within me. Eru enforced my need to protect your well-being over all else. Someone could dangle the Silmaril in front of me and at most I would hand it over to you. Otherwise I would not reach for it. There must be a reason for this.” That gave Gilriant pause and the older elf pushed on. “I am your song and shield, remember? I want to give you space to finish growing up, but I am not going to let you be exposed to dangers out there without me if I can help it.” Maglor looked back over his shoulder. “It also appears I have acquired a shiny sword that would likely insist on coming along as well.” Glorfindel smiled, “Without a doubt.” That had the young elf give a huff, and then start thinking.
Atya had made some excellent points. Ones he could not refute. He wasn’t asking to be involved in everything, but in this, yes. It had to be difficult for the older elf to watch his child go off to a place he was not readily welcome and be okay with it. Yet his father let him go. Accepted that Gilriant would be traveling around to the different elf havens. Giving him the space and time to grow into his own person apart from his family yet with their support. He could literally feel that and their love. That was no small thing.
“I cannot promise to involve you in all aspects. I know there are some things I will need to do alone.” There was a faint flicker of alarm from Haldir at that, which they would need to discuss later. “The largest of that will be at the very end. What I can include you in, I will.” Gilriant was rewarded with a smile as Maglor gently moved them so he could kiss his son’s forehead. “That is all I ask. I love you, my little raven.” The young elf grinned, “Not so little anymore.” His Atya just smiled, “ You will always be my little raven.”
Gilriant was aware that issues would still crop up. Maglor’s trauma wouldn’t just go away. There would undoubtedly be times they needed to face it head on. Yet they both were aware of it, and would be as prepared as you could get. Even if it was impossible to anticipate everything, a willing and brave heart could go far.
*
Not surprising that dinner was taken in the wider dining area. They still could sit together as a family, but also be close to the rest of the community. Especially close to the new little family. While the trio didn’t spend every meal in the community, they often did dinner. They also always had plenty of volunteers happy to hold the baby if the parents wanted to relax as they ate. There was no shortage of elves willing to help. Plus the presence of the whacking stick helped people behave.
“Once she is done with it, Mellessin decided I am to be the keeper of the whacking stick to hold in trust for the next pregnant elf,” Gilriant remarked dryly. There was an amused sound from Elladan. “Well, I suppose you are the one most likely to either spot or cause another.” The young elf huffed. “Might want to be careful how you phrase that. One, it might not happen around me. I know all the theories but it is still possible. Two, considering that with my new ability it is not just possible for me to sire a child, it’s also possible for me to carry one. Mellessin was also kind enough to ask that question and cause me to realize that it could occur.”
While he couldn't tell who the choking sound came from, it was entirely amusing the way the entire area paused to digest that bit of information. Oh look, he made his brother twitch. For whatever reason Elrond started glaring at Legolas. Haldir got over it first and he could feel the good humor the elf was in from the varying reactions. Celebrian tried to hide a smile as she put a restraining hand on her husband’s arm.
“Well, if it happens someday, at least you are guaranteed to have an extra parent with Haldir there. I would imagine any child of yours would also be Haldir’s.” That observation earned the woodland prince a warm smile. “You are absolutely correct. Brother, don’t you always say a child is equal parts who raises them as much as who they are born from because of their fea being nurtured?” He gave Elrond an expectant look. “Well, yes, you are correct.” His brother’s stiff body language wasn’t lost on him. The glaring at his friend was odd though.
Glancing over at his father, Gilriant gave Maglor a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry Atya, you are likely to get married to Shiny there long before I even enter a courtship. I need time to learn and grow into myself.” Down the table Elrohir started laughing, “Uncle, you need to join us for dinner more often. It’s always entertaining.” Arwen’s merry voice added, “But not necessarily good for Ada’s stress level.”
Feeling a bit guilty, Gilriant brushed his awareness against his brothers, I am sorry for stressing you out. Elrond exhaled and relaxed by degrees. “I’ve lived through my children’s antics, I can certainly live through my brother’s.” The wave of affection he got back was reassurance that no harm was done.
*
“Prince Legolas, a word if you would.” At the request from Elrond, the archer inclined his head and followed the Lord of Imladris as he started walking down the path. Hands clasped behind his back, the older elf started to talk. “My sibling is still very young, as you are aware of. It would be unwise to rush into anything. Especially as they are still learning what it means to themselves.” Legolas tilted his head. “I agree completely. I admit, it concerns me at times the way they tend to keep pushing themselves. There is some sort of urgency that drives them. If I could, I would have them slow down.”
For some reason Lord Elrond just seemed to sigh at that and then completely change the subject. “I noticed you seemed to know when he was distressed the other day.” Legolas had no difficulty following the pronoun change, as Gilriant was his male self at that time. “Yes, we recently discovered the depth of the connection between us. In truth, it may have gone unnoticed by me for some time if not for my attempts to practice my own ability to connect with nature.” At the elven lord’s raised eyebrow, the archer continued. “Which I also have to credit him with. It was Gilriant that brought it up to me, not realizing that no one had before. My mother being a silvan elf, and with her not being around to teach me, I had no other close kin around to do so in her stead. When it was brought up to me, I asked Haldir if he would help me learn upon Gilriant’s suggestion.”
A thoughtful noise escaped Elrond and he asked, “And this led to you discovering the connection between you?” Legolas inclined his head. “Yes, as when I went to practice the skill, I could not do so with Gilriant nearby. His presence was rather overwhelming and all I could pick up on was him. The solution I agreed to try was to acknowledge the connection between us and then use that recognition to set it to the back of my awareness so it would no longer blind me to anything else.” A slight smile formed on the archer’s face. “Apparently the fact that I wasn’t acknowledging it was the problem. Apparently it was behaving rather like Tindil does at times. Demands my attention and then settles down after I give it.”
“Is that so?”
The calm tone Elrond used should have been reassuring. Instead something about it felt more ominous and the smile dropped away from his face. “Yes. I’ve gotten rather used to his antics though he’s gotten more insistent lately. Either way, acknowledging the connection between us worked. I was able to be aware it was there, but it no longer overwhelmed my ability to get other information from nature around me.” He had no real reason to not tell Gilriant’s brother about this. After all it was hardly a secret between the two of them considering Haldir and the rest of the young elf’s personal guard was there when it happened.
“Just how did you acknowledge the connection between the two of you?” Lord Elrond’s drawling tone again sounded calm but felt decidedly not. “Osanwe, which he did tell me I could refuse to do.” Legolas made sure to include that part. “In truth, I have not used it often so it was different, and I understand why many would forgo it as some would consider it intrusive. Yet it did not feel so between us.” At Elrond’s continued silence the prince decided if he was going to speak the truth of it, he should speak all of it.
“Gilriant did offer to either keep his distance during my lessons or try to make the connection go dormant. I rejected both offers. For one part of the trip at the time was to spend time together as many things had been keeping us apart. As for the other reason, I rather like the idea that I could use it to be able to find him, especially if he managed to get himself into trouble again. Or that I would be able to sense if he was in distress of some sort. In truth, the thought of denying such a connection distressed me.”
“I see.”
At least the sensation of the tone was a degree less hostile. Even if Elrond’s expression had not changed overmuch.
Elrond had led Legolas down a twisting path to the river below. There were many paths that led to the river, this one was not one he had been down before. The spot was beautiful if a bit wild with the rushing of the water. To one side almost hidden was a statue and it was this that the Lord of Imladris approached. Some might think this hubris, for as one got close the features looked near identical to the elven lord. Yet the clothing depicted was clearly mannish, as was the slim crown that adorned the statue’s head.
Hands clasped behind his back, Elrond faced the statue, his expression solemn. “I lost my brother a long time ago after he made the choice of men. I sometimes wonder if he would have made a different choice, if not faced with perceived responsibilities at such a young age. It is true, he loved his children, wanted to help teach and guide men. It is true he felt called to do such a thing. I supported his desire to do so. But it also parted us.” Legolas studied the statue, taking in the quiet words of the elven lord. “He told me that no matter how long it took, his fea would find its way back to mine. Even if he had to wait for the world to be remade. That he would always be my brother.
“Millennia later I found out that he not only charged his line with protecting the well being of middle earth, he also charged his line to aid and protect me.” The very air felt heavy and full of portants as the story unfolded. That men did their best to follow such a task entrusted to them from so long ago spoke of their honor and integrity. Men were not elves with immortal souls and long memories. Yet these stayed faithful. “An heir of the line of Isulder confessed they feared that they had failed their ancestor because of what happened. Yet I still am here, whole and hale, so I told them that the actions of one do not mean the line has failed. I still believe in them, and so have watched over his descendants best I could.”
The Dunedain, Legolas recalled, fostered their heirs here. Gilriant had mourned the loss of one of them already. It was a grief that had ripped at the young elf. Even as he remained steadfast in his decision to form close bonds with the much shorter lived races. The choice of Elrond to foster the Dunedain spoke of dedication and love that lasted. For Elrond not only opened himself up to the pain of loss again and again, he opened his family up to such grief. Still the woodland prince could imagine he would do no less, if he had ever had a sibling in his life. Especially one he cared for as much as the elven lord still clearly cared for Elros.
“So you can imagine my concerns when history seems to be repeating itself in a fashion.” Now Elrond turned to look at Legolas. “Gilriant, as Elros once did, has taken on responsibilities at far too young of an age. He started even younger than my twin once did.” The woodland prince’s expression was grim. “Yes, I fear at times that he is overloading himself. I wish I could lighten his load.” Now he felt pinned under Elrond’s gaze. “So you will understand when I say I will not see him rushed in any fashion into anything more in his life. By anyone. While I will not make their decisions for them, I will not lose my sibling to choices that someone else tried to make for them. If anyone were to cause my sibling pain, I will not hesitate to deal with whatever remains of that individual once they were done with them. My sibling is a bard and can use their words to great effect, no other weapon ever needed. I would just be reinforcing whatever lesson you needed to learn.”
“And you should not hesitate.” Legolas replied promptly. “Your sibling deserves only good things and happiness in their life.” The pronoun use may have shifted as they talked, but that only reinforced in his mind the need to respect Gilriant, Faircoivar, Tauriel, for all that they were. No matter what side of themselves they presented to the world at any time. “I will do all that I can to help them be happy, and take things at their own pace.”
“You would help them protect themselves from anyone or anything?” Legolas could feel the weight of both Elrond’s gaze and question.
“Yes.”
“Even from yourself?”
That question made Legolas blink. He had absolutely no idea why Elrond would even consider that to be an option. Nor why he would ask such a question of him. Still there was only one way to answer it. “I would never purposefully do anything to hurt them. If I ever did, you are welcome to do whatever you wish to me after they have. I would deserve it.”
Elrond inclined his head. “Then we understand each other. Now if you will excuse me.” Legolas inclined his head and turned to go back up the stairs. Leaving the elven lord standing there, with the statue of the brother that he lost. Old memory and a grief that clearly had not faded in its entirety. More than an age of time separated them, still the love the elven lord had for his twin remained steadfast.
Even as he climbed the stairs, his mind kept focused on the conversation. Clearly Elrond had a reason for pulling him aside specifically to talk. But why? He never ever had done anything to purposefully hurt the other elf. Gilriant was his friend. In every sense he would do what he could to protect them from harm. There should be no reason for the elven lord to fear Legolas would hurt his sibling. It made very little sense.
As he moved forward, the sound of laughter drew Legolas out of his thoughts. Gilriant was being chased around by his nephews who were in a state of disarray. Clearly a prank gone wrong, or right based on your opinion. When they got close, he simply shifted into a raven and flew up on another balcony out of reach. Shifting back to grin down at them. It brought a smile to the woodland prince’s lips. Happy and laughing is how his friend should always be. What he wanted to help make sure he was.
When that happy mischievous expression was turned to his direction and the vivid green eyes met his own, Legolas felt the hard tug on his fea. As if his very self was pulled towards Gilriant. The young elf got distracted with one of his nephews attempting to get close and he shifted and flew off again, breaking the line of sight. Still he could feel that pull and something clicked in his mind.
Oh.
That was why.
What could he even do with that realization? Elrond was right, Gilriant was far too young. Legolas refused to be one of those that pursued the young elf for courtship when he was clearly not ready for it. He could be patient. In the meantime he could do his best to help Gilriant be happy, support him where he could. Try to protect without stepping on the young elf growing into themselves in all aspects of their life.
Yes.
He could do that.
“I know that look.” Legolas turned his head to see Glorfindel looking at him with a trace of amusement on his features. “I’ve seen it in the mirror often enough.” Now the archer wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to react to that. So he stayed silent. “You know you have to wait for him to be ready, correct?” At the woodland prince’s nod the captain smiled. “Good. Now then, that is my beloved’s child. I will of course respect their choices, and be ready to provide additional support if needed.”
Legolas was beginning to feel that being vaguely threatened by the young elf’s friends and family was going to be a common theme. Not that he blamed them one bit for it. At least they were making it clear that what happened would be based on Gilriant’s choices. “Granted it would be highly entertaining to see what types of pranks his nephews would unleash. They do love their uncle so.” Of all of that, the archer had no doubt.
“Let's go have a spar, shall we?” The bright smile on Glorfindel’s face was far from reassuring. “Of course, I could use some practice.” Not that Legolas was getting an option as the captain had clapped an arm around his shoulders and was steering the both of them towards the practice salle. He also held no illusions that he would walk away from this practice without being sore at a minimum. No doubt the elder warrior was going to show him just exactly how much of an advantage he had over the woodland prince in the way of skill and power.
Legolas knew that physical violence wasn’t the true threat being offered. To physically attack another elf was unthinkable. Do their best to make his life uncomfortable if Gilriant decided to wash their hands of him, yes. That certainly was something they could and would do. The woodland prince was simply getting a sample of all the different ways that could go. Even if he held no fear of such a thing happening, he would take heed of their intent. In the end the most painful thing Legolas could imagine happening would be losing the one that was filling his heart. Anything else anyone could do paled in comparison.
“While we do so, if you show me your mettle I may even give you some advice on how to handle being patient. Also when to use your words, which apparently are very important.”
*
Haldir’s face appeared above his as Legolas kept to his prone position. Even with elven endurance, the combination he went through could be draining. He had laid down on one of the reclining benches with every intention of getting back up again, soon, maybe. “I see they have run you through the gauntlet. I take it you have realized what it is you stand to gain or lose? That is the only reason I can think of for Glorfindel to have done so.” It was difficult to know exactly how to respond to that. The truth perhaps would be a good place to start.
“Elrond had a few things he wished to discuss with me. Once he was done, I was left to wonder why.” Haldir gave a nod in understanding and smiled slightly. “So that worked to wake you of where your actions were headed where all of your father’s teasing did not. I am sure that is not what he intended.”
The marchwarden studied Legolas a few moments more then offered a hand up. “Come, I have bespoke a hot bath for you. If you stay as you are you will just stiffen up more, you know this.” Accepting the hand up, the woodland prince allowed Haldir to chivvy him around and help him set up the bath. While he didn’t stay directly in the room while he settled in the bath, obviously the conversation had yet to conclude. The Lothlorien archer stayed nearby, within easy conversing distance.
Legolas’ head was full of many thoughts tangled in all that had happened not just today, but in the past. Even as Haldir stayed close, he remained quiet, giving him the space to settle things in his mind first. “They put you through some sort of gauntlet when they realized the depth of your connection with Gilriant, did they not?” “Of course they did,” Haldir’s voice was cheerful. “For the similar reasons they are doing this with you. Even if he’s older now, he’s still very young.” Which made it rather unthinkable for any of his family not to be protective in some fashion. In truth they were being rather restrained.
“You feel no need to threaten me, because I wouldn’t even have this potential if you did not approve of me in some fashion.” That was the only conclusion Legolas could come to. For anyone to connect strongly with Gilriant, you would also need to be able to connect with Haldir. You did not get one without the other. He understood that a long time ago. Building a friendship with the young elf meant also strengthening the one he had with the marchwarden. The very lack of a response to his statement spoke of the truth to it. True there were times he sought out the marchwarden as well. Haldir was his friend, separate from whatever was between himself and Gilriant. It predated that, even if they had not been as close at the time.
“He changes everyone around him, for the better I think. He certainly has for my father and I.” The changes Gilriant instigated between Legolas and Thranduil were profound. While they had always loved each other, valued each other, and wanted what was best for each other, there had been a softness introduced. Healing, from an old pain that neither fully realized was standing in the way. That was reflected in the way Legolas interacted with other people as well. He had no need to be this perfect warrior reflection of his father. Perhaps it had made him a better friend as well. “That he does,” Haldir’s voice was soft in response.
When he had finally soaked enough, Legolas got out of the bath. Clearly Haldir was still waiting for him. There were many things the woodland prince could say, or ask. Picking the right thing was difficult. He mulled them over as he got dressed. As he moved into the other room he finally chose to ask, “Could you teach me how to do some of the Noldor braids?” Haldir looked up with a smile. “Of course. I’m sure I can get Gilriant to sit still so you can see how they are done.” That in itself was a type of declaration. “Thank you, I would appreciate being able to watch. Books only take you so far.”
Legolas’s lips twitched up in a smile. “I’m still the better archer.” There was a not quite scoff from Haldir. “I hardly think so princling. I am sure we can settle that at the archery range soon enough.”