Ambition

Ambition; Chapter Two
One Hell of a Christmas

It was a few months into the school year and currently you sat in your dorm contemplating where you’d go for Christmas. Maybe you should return to the Grimmauld place, That hell house? Absolutely not. That was just a place you couldn’t face. Not when currently your father, Sirius Black, has escaped Azkaban.

You knew the first place he’d come look for you at is the Grimmauld place. Or….Does he even care? You thought to yourself. Maybe he’d just go looking for Harry as if you never existed. That was a high possibility seeing as you didn’t mean nearly as much as Harry in any sort of way. Would he even recognize you if he were to see you? Probably not.

‘It’s probably safer to stay here, at Hogwarts, instead,” you thought to yourself. To be honest, you’d do anything to escape and stay away from that hell house. Everything that happened there was bad news.

Later that day, you were walking through the forest, just needing some air. Being cramped in that castle with people constantly asking you questions, almost always about Harry, so sometimes you just get stressed out. While walking in the forest, just wandering around, you see a black dog just watching you from the shadows. It wasn’t very scary, just…confusing.

A few days later, students started leaving for Christmas vacation. As for you, you were just sitting in your shared dorm contemplating life, as usual. Over the course of the past few days, you were just listening to people’s excitement. Hearing them rant on and on about going home for the holidays to their loving families, while you had…no one. Even your best friend, and only friend, Cedric was going home. That was sad for you because, well, you’d have no one around to hang out with, not that you weren’t used to it, but still. You were alone your whole life, so this wouldn’t be something new, but those last few months of actually having attention....well, they were great.

The whole school was decorated with Christmas-related things, and snow dusted the campus group, it was rather a beautiful sight. You watched the birds fly around and the animals run in the woods, while everyone was leaving Hogwarts. You didn’t pay much mind to it because, well what was the point? There was nothing exciting for you to see. The only thing that lies there, is the remembrance of emptiness in your life.

A few hours later, into the night, you were wandering the halls, looking for something, nonetheless, entertaining. You had no fear of being caught in the halls because most professors had left Hogwarts and the prefects had left hours ago, so you really were just exploring, doing as you pleased. You saw a few students walk by, they must have had the same idea. You would’ve gone over to talk to them if it wasn’t for the dirty looks, they gave you. You went on with your night. Destination? Somewhere.

As you were walking through the empty halls, all you could hear was your soft footsteps, and faint breathing. It was quite lonely, and it made you question if staying was really the best option.

As the night went on, you stared out into the forest, from a corridor, still questioning that weird dog you saw in the woods the other day. What was it, and why was it there? It honestly made you want to go out into the forest and look for answers, but before you could leave, you thought about the dangers of it. *What if you successfully found it? What if that’s what the creature wants; for you to go into the woods to look for it and become its next meal? No one would know you’re going out into the woods. If something happened, you’d be alone, forgotten, practically dead. Was that something you really wanted to risk? Well, yes. You had nothing else to lose, so what’s the risk, besides your life of course.

You decided, since it was 4 am, it was too late in the night, and too early in the morning to go out, to go out later tonight instead. For now, you would just enjoy reading books, specifically potions and herbology, since those were your worst subjects. There was no one to bother you. Alone with your thoughts…. kind of lonely. Therefore, within five minutes, you quit and decided to explore the castle more, maybe to Hogsmeade or do something fun, not just stay cooped up in your room, as fun as that sounded.

Repeating the same thing as last night, you walked through the halls, doing absolutely nothing. You were honestly just trying to pass time, cruising your way past Christmas vacation, but alas there’s weeks on weeks left. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed your best friend.

Around 12 pm, you went to Hogsmeade, alone of course, but at least it was something. On your way, you stopped to look at the snow-covered areas that had absolutely no green, just browns and white. It made you kind of miss spring and summer, maybe even fall at times, but one thing was for certain, it was way too cold out here, in the snow.

Eventually you reached Hogsmeade and decided to go to Honeydukes. It didn’t last long before you found it lonely being surrounded by groups of people, so due to your crippling social anxiety, you gradually decided to leave Hogsmeade.

While walking home, you completely forgot about the giant dog you were going out to search for, darn ADHD.

The next day was happily Christmas, yet, as usual, you had nobody to enjoy it with. You spent the day reading books, studying, walking around, practicing spells, and throwing lightweight stuff at people. You can’t say it was the most enjoyable, or the most ideal way for someone to spend Christmas, but it was something, rather than nothing. It could’ve been worse. You could’ve been on the streets, or at the Grimmauld place with no social contact, not that you talked to anyone at Hogwarts, but it was definitely better.

What if you had a bigger purpose? Something lying outside of Hogwarts and your life inside the walls of your comfort zone? What if you were meant for more? Something greater?

(The end of chapter two)