If He Cannot Climb...
Chapter 4: Regulus POV
Being a Hogwarts commuter student was not Regulus’ cup of tea- and he didn't even like tea, he only drank coffee: black. But commuting to Hogwarts and crashing on James’ twin XL was preferable to the dank Sytherin common rooms, especially when Barty forgot he was still enrolled in Hogwarts half the time- the stupid wanker.
Of course today Reg was running late- because of course he had to swing by the Leaky Cauldron and grab breakfast- clothed, unlike Barty. He had to run to his first class: potions with Slughorn and was only 30 minutes late.
He did not gaf about potions anymore. He didn't gaf about anything anymore. His mind was consumed by 3 things and 3 things only: James, Barty, and Horcruxes. Therefore, he skipped the rest of his classes and paid off a gullible Ravenclaw student to do his homework so he could maintain his reputation as the squeaky clean Black heir.
In lieu of classes, Regulus continued his research about what Lord Voldemort was doing with his sketchy Horcrux shit- HE WAS SO CLOSE. And that wasn't the first time he said that this week. It was so hard to be living a lie between James and Barty. They both thought he was a Death Eater but he really was a double agent- the line between the two was casual.
Suddenly! He received a Floo call! It was Barty! And he was still naked???
“Regulus! You need to help me with our next task from The Dark Lord!”
“Da fuq.” Regulus says, very surprised to see Barty- even though he saw him only a few hours ago.
“We need to attend a Death Eaters meeting tonight! And it's your turn to bring the snacks.”
Regulus smacked himself on the forehead with such a great force it left a big red handprint. “Shit!” I guess I’ll pick up something on my way…” Ughhhhh being a two-timing Death Eater is such hard work. Death Eaters like Dunkin’ right?
Barty hung up the floo before he could say anything else. Regulus wondered if he would care to put on clothes before the meeting- knowing Barty it was lowkey a gamble.
Suddenly! Dorcas was behind him. “What about Barty not wearing clothes?” she asked.
Awww man Regulus was saying things aloud again!
~~~
A few hours later at the Death Eater meeting…
Regulus was almost late YET AGAIN. He just got so distracted writing his poetry that he didn't notice how much time had passed. AND THEN he had to pick up snacks for the meeting- actually fuck his life. It was times like this that made him understand why Sirius had run away with his gay, werewolf boyfriend (who was on a mission).
He found a seat next to Barty- who was shockingly clothed- in the boring-ass Death Eater robes that were the uniform. Regulus felt like such a goober in his mask and robes but YOLO. It was at this time that he missed James. These meetings were so boring- especially when all he was doing was listening for information about Voldemort’s horcrux plan. Voldemort was dressed rather oddly, in a pink sequin-y tracksuit. James would definitely be distracted by how the sparkles reflected on the big round table with a bigass snake slitering around it.
Nothing important happened at the meeting. There was super boring talk about a prophecy and needing to kill a baby or some stupid shit like that- nothing of note or relevance to him.
~~~
After the meeting, Barty and Regulus walked out together and took the Knight Bus (Regulus couldn't apparate yet) to James’ flat. OF COURSE- Sirius’ motorcycle was parked out front so they had to lurk around the back door until James saw them and tossed them his invisibility cloak. Usually, this was the best part of Regulus’ day- when they all got in the bed and messed around willy-nilly style. But today the look on James’ face told Regulus there would be no realigning tonight…