Chapter 9
Save me
Barty's being a menace
What's he doing
Existing
Ah
How dare he
You should tell him to stop
I have
He doesn't listen
Well then the only viable option is murder
By stabbing
Strangulation's better
No, stabbing
But stabbing gets blood everywhere
Strangulation
Stabbing
Strangulation
Stabbing
Reggie
If you stab him
You will get blood
Everywhere
Strangulation
Stabbing
Strangulation
Stabbing
REGGIE
YOULL GET CAUGHT IF YOU STAB HIM
STRANGULATION
Stabbing
….
Motherfucker
Okay, rude
Well you're being a bitch, you can't expect to get away with murder while covered in blood
Oh no, I agree, this is Barty, I stole his phone
Oh
Well you're being a bitch too
By existing?
Yup
Okay, you're going back to Regulus now, bye
Bye
That bitch
Why is he so fast?
Stabbing
WHAT THE FUCK
REGGIE
STRANGULATION
- - -
We should play 20 questions
Sirius
Yeah
I'm going to kill you
Aww
I love you too
Shut it
So can we play
I suppose
Yay
I'll go first
Joy
What's the first thing you did after running away?
Went to McDonald's
In your wedding dress
Yup
And Barty's jacket overtop
The staff wouldn't stop whispering about it
It was quite funny
I still can't believe you were going to get married
It feels so weird
Alright, your turn
Alright
What's the dumbest thing you've ever done
Let you stay at that house when I left
That was painfully sad and sweet but also not at all what I wanted
I don't like feelings
I wanted you to tell me something funny
Well that's my answer
It's the dumbest thing I've ever done
Ew feelings
Fine
Your turn
Why don't you like feelings?
Goddammit Sirius
I hate you
No you don't
You love me
I'm amazing
You sure have a high opinion of yourself
Yup
Answer my question
I don't really know
I spent a really long time forcing them down
And then once I was able to address them they were very… intense and it was scary
So now I've found a way to manage them and when I have feelings I didn't plan for or I can't take back control it scares me a little
That makes sense
I'm sorry that feelings are scary
Eh
What about you
What do you think about feelings?
I think I'm kind of the opposite
Because you regulate your emotions and keep yourself calm
But I like…
I like it best when my emotions are all over me
Like… you like to underfeel and I like to overfeel
I like it best when everything's intense because otherwise life feels kind of dull
Interesting
Well I'd happily send my feelings over to you
I don't have a use for them
How sweet
When did you realize you were bent
Like a year after you left I think
Why are you always wearing the same shoes in photos
They make me taller
Really
That's it
Yeah
When did you get your ears pierced
I started getting them a few months after I ran away but I got the most recent one like 2 months ago
Why did you decide to start tattooing
I went to get one and just fell in love with the environment of a tattoo parlor
And I liked the idea of making art that people would have for the rest of their life
Interesting
Why did you get into bartending
They were hiring and I was a quick learner
Not many people will hire without work experience or degrees
And since mother dearest wouldn't let me get either
I took what I could
I like it though
Most of the time
I detest that
What part
Mother dearest not letting you do anything
Well
She's dead now
So
The past is the past
What was your first tattoo
Noooo don't ask that one
It's embarrassing
Even better
What was it
Okay okay
Remus leaves me little notes sometimes
And he used to do it a lot right after I left the house and we got really close
Just little cute inspirational things to get me through the day
Aww
That's adorable
I knowww
It did not help me ignore my massive crush at all
I have a shoebox with all his notes
Anyways
He left me one that I really liked
Part of it said “you're proof someone can go through hell and come out the other side an angel”
Hold on
Pause for a moment
Take a seat
Back up
Take a breath
He left you a shoebox worth of notes saying cute stuff and you still didn't realize he was into you
Listen
I never said I was smart
You've said that so many times
Okay shut up
Do you want me to finish the story or not
Yes
Please continue
So I took the note to a shop and asked the tattooist to copy his handwriting for a tattoo
So I had that little note forever
Simp
Shut up
That's actually kind of adorable
My turn now
How long did it take you to realize that family members marrying each other wasn't normal
Oh my god
Like a year after I ran away
Pandora brought up that her friends like dad I think it was divorced her mom so he could marry his third cousin
And I just kind of shrugged and went “that sucks”
And she was baffled why I wasn't horrified
And then she found out our parents were cousins
Do you want to know what she said
Yes
Omg what'd she say
“That explains so much”
Like bitch-
I'm sobbing
What does that even mean
I don't know
I was scared to ask
How about you
How long did it take you to find out
…
Like three years
No
Really
Yeah
James’s dad said something about inbreeding at Christmas and I asked him what he meant
I think I sounded offended because everyone looked at me like I was nuts
Oh my god
That's amazing
I still haven't lived it down
Incest jokes abound in this household
I'll drop something or trip and James will just go “that'll be the inbreeding”
Nah
That's not the inbreeding
You're just incompetent
Hey
That's mean
Are you ever going to post more
Probably not
Why
I like having pictures of everyone I know
And I have like three of you
Oh
Yeah I don't like being in photos
Does my why count as my question
Nah
You can ask another
What's the strangest tattoo request you've ever gotten
Ooo
Made in hell
With a qr code underneath
That rickrolls you when you scan it
Solid choice
It was actually super fun
Everyone in the shop tried the code
What's your favorite word
What do you mean my favorite word
You know
Just a word you think is cool
Or that you use a lot
…
I say fuck a lot
And I like the way bamboozled sounds
Interesting
Okay
Your questions are strange
I'm strange
I know
What's a random pet peeve of yours
When my eyeliner isn't even so I go to fix it and it just makes it worse
Huh
Interesting
What's your favorite guilty pleasure
Sneaking out at night to get ice cream without having to share with anyone
What's your motorcycles name
What makes you think it has a name
You name everything Siri
I don't think it has a name
I know it does
…
Elvendork
What
It's gender neutral
It's ridiculous is what it is
It's amazing and you know it
Okay last one of my questions
What's something you say a lot
…
I still say I hate gay people a lot
It's funny now though not mean
Also I threaten murder pretty often
Both valid
I have one more question right
Yeah
Is James single
What the fuck
It's just a question
What the fuck
I just want to know
What the fuck
Ew
That's so gross
You can't like James
I didn't even say I liked him I just asked if he was single
What the fuck
I mean yes
But what the fuck
I just wanted to know
Calm down
I was just curious
What the fuck
Well I have work in a bit so I should go
Okay
Have fun
Fun is exactly the word I'd use
Bye
Bye
Talk later
- - -
Sirius
Sirius
Hey
Pay attention to me
Motherfucker
Sirius
Hey
I was busy
You read them
No?
I really didn't?
I had a client?
My phone was up front?
Who read them then?
Reggie
I don't know
But I promise I didn't read them
Mmmm
Suspicious
No?
Mmmmmm
I think
Yes
Do you feel okay?
No :(
What's wrong
I'm sick
And Pandora left for work
So now I'm all alone
And have to take care of myself
Like an adult
Ew
Oof
Do you have a fever
I think so
The thermometers in the bathroom though
And that's so far away
Have you eaten
I have
What did you eat
Applesauce
Reggie
It's after 1
What do you mean applesauce
You need to eat
I did
I ate applesauce
That's not…
Is anyone else home
Nope
Just me
Can you go get something to eat
I could but why would I
*Will* you get something to eat
Mmmmm
No
I don't really want anything
You need food Reggie
I'll be fine
Evan will be back at like
6
I can eat then
That's in like 5 hours
You need to eat before then
Well you can't make me so there's that
I'm about to make you
What's that supposed to mean
What's your address
Why
…
Because your sick
And have eaten applesauce
And your plan is to wait until Evan gets home in 5 hours to take care of yourself
I don't even want to ask about water
Okay
And
Just give me your goddamn address
There's no need to be mean
Well you're being annoying and stubborn
Just give me your address
And what if I say no
Then I get that wonderful call history from my front desk manager
And figure out which phone number is Barty's
And then I call him and get your address from him
You wouldn't
Oh I definitely would
Ugh
You're so annoying
Right back at you
Rude
Fine