Chapter 7
“Hey Moony, Prongs. Go fuck off, will you?” Regulus’s jaw nearly dropped, he hadn’t expected Sirius to outright say it but it was the first thing out of his mouth when they came through the door. Regulus copied Sirius in toeing off his shoes, he'll never understand how Sirius did it with doc martens, and followed him further into the flat.
“The fuck mate?” As they entered the living room, Sirius’s arm draped over his shoulder, Regulus saw two men he recognized easily from the hundreds of posts he’d seen, turning to look at them from the couch.
“Love you too baby. Why are we- Oh.” Both of them stared at Regulus in shock and he resisted the urge to hide behind Sirius. He was a grown ass adult and he could handle a couple of stares.
“Yup, so fuck off. We’re claiming the living room.” Surprisingly James and Remus both quickly left, shooting Sirius confused looks. “You good?” He rolled his eyes.
“I’m fine, they don’t scare me.” Sirius frowned at him but accepted his answer.
“Do you want to take a seat and we can talk? I can make some tea. Or grab a heavy alcoholic beverage, whatever you prefer.” Regulus shrugged slightly.
“Probably don’t want to get drunk and try to talk about things that require emotional regulation.” That earned a small chuckle.
“So tea?”
“If you want.” Sirius shot him a half glare.
“You’re being infuriatingly unhelpful.” He just gave Sirius a small, innocent smile.
“That’s my job right? To annoy the fuck out of you?” He snorted.
“If it is, then you’re doing a wonderful job. I’m going to make tea, I’ll be back in a few. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappeared into what Regulus assumed was the kitchen, leaving him alone in the living room.
There was a movie paused on the tv and he studied it for a moment, trying to place where he'd seen the actors, before quickly giving up and studying the other objects in the room. Several magazines, envelopes, and papers cluttered a coffee table and he opened one of the magazines, flipping through it before returning it to the table. The envelopes seemed to be mostly junk and he turned his attention to the large bookshelf in the corner. Remus’s probably his mind supplied and he walked over to study the spines. The bookshelf had quite a variety, everything from what looked like old textbooks to fantasy stories to history books. They were clearly well loved and he ran a finger across the shelf out of curiosity. Not even a speck of dust.
“I see you’ve found Remus’s collection.” He jumped at Sirius’s voice right behind him and turned, slightly pink and with an expression similar to a small child caught doing something naughty. “Sorry, I thought you heard me come back. I brought tea.” Regulus followed him back to the couch where he’d set a tea tray on the table. They settled on either end of the couch and Regulus was painfully aware that Sirius was scrutinizing him.
“So.” Sirius leaned back slightly. “You want to tell me about what happened after I left?” Regulus frowned.
“Not particularly, no.”
“Will you do it anyways?” He studied Sirius for a moment before letting out a little puff of air.
“Suppose. Well, Mother lost her absolute shit when she realized her heir was gone. Ranted up and down the halls about how she wasn’t going to have anyone to carry on the family name and how you were an ungrateful brat and she hoped you died on the streets.” A smile tugged at the corners of Sirius’s mouth.
“Touching.” Regulus rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored his comment.
“Anyways, I tried to hide from her as much as possible, out of sight, out of mind. It kind of worked, I don’t think I ended up getting beat any more than when you were home. I don’t have a lot of clear memories, I was just in… survival mode I guess. I know I met Barty and Evan at my engagement banquet a couple months before my eighteenth. Those fuckers…” He shook his head slightly and Sirius raised his eyebrows.
“Oh? What’d they do?”
“Well, by that time I’d long since realized that I uh… wasn’t exactly the most straight person. I think at that point I’d realized I felt like a guy but I was still figuring out if I liked blokes or not. Anyways, apparently,” He stressed the word slightly. “I looked miserable. They decided to pull me away, mid banquet, and ask me if I was bent.” Sirius’s eyebrows shot up again. “I believe Barty’s exact words were ‘So what's your deal?’ followed by several guesses on my sexuality.”
“No way.” Regulus nodded confirmation and Sirius laughed.
“It gets better. When I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about of course and he stared at me for like three seconds and then grabbed Ev’s shirt and started making out with him in front of me.” Regulus’s tone was a mix of annoyance and disgust but also had a hint of fondness. “They’re right dumbasses.” Sirius stared at him for a few moments, jaw dropped.
“No, you’re messing with me now. He just…” Regulus nodded solemnly and Sirius cracked up, trying to stifle his laughter with a hand and failing.
“Yeah. That’s Barty and Ev for you. Anyways, after… that they offered to take me with them when they ran away. It took a bit for them to figure everything out but once they did we just booked it out of there.”
“On your wedding day.” Regulus hesitated.
“Well, okay, I’m going to be honest. We were ready to leave like a week before my wedding but we all kind of decided it’d be funny to leave mother scrambling because everyone would know I ran away since they were already going to be at the venue.” Sirius tried and failed to fight down one of those stupid grins.
“The more you talk about your friends the more I like them.”
“Trust me, you lose that feeling real fast once you actually have to deal with them.” Sirius hummed.
“What about your other friend? Pandora?” Regulus frowned slightly and shifted so he was more comfortable.
“She’s…” He contemplated for a moment. “She’s the mom friend. Very smart, very caring, a little nosy and a bit strange, but sweet. I… have no complaints to bitch about. So.”
“Dang, you can’t even bitch about her? I bet she’s an angel in disguise. Or a witch that’s charmed you so you can’t hate her.” Regulus aimed a small kick at Sirius’s leg.
“Oh shut it. I do like people occasionally.”
“Like who?” There was silence for several moments.
“I feel like I’m doing a lot of talking, tell me about you.” Sirius laughed and Regulus glared at him but there wasn’t any heat. “Come on, how about you?” Frowning slightly, Sirius considered the question.
“I think I already told you the main parts.”
“So tell me something else. Tell me about Remus.” Sirius’s eyes lit up.
“Well. We met in school, James and him were friends so I already knew him a little bit so when I went to James’s house we ended up hanging out quite a bit. Peter too.” Confusion must have shown on his face because Sirius elaborated. “Wormtail’s real name is Peter, he’s… I was going to say he’s asleep but Remus and James probably woke him up to make theories on why you’re here and what we’re talking about. Anyways. I have had a massive crush on him pretty much since I saw him but I’m smooth about it right? So I just started getting very affectionate with everyone and they just think it’s because I got out of that house so they kind of let me just climb all over them because they thought it was a trauma thing I was getting over. Anyways, so I got to cuddle him and sit on his lap and all that shit and he didn't think anything of it because I’m just like that with everyone.” Regulus sighed.
“Of course. At any point during this time did you consider just telling him you liked him?” Beaming, Sirius shook his head.
“Absolutely not. Anyways, it was like a year and a half after-”
“A year and a half? You’re hopeless.”
“Says the one that doesn’t have a boyfriend. Shut up and let me talk.” Regulus rolled his eyes but let him continue. “So a year and a half later we were all drunk off stolen liquor and they asked me why I went through so many girlfriends and didn’t seem to like any of them.”
“Wait, wait. You were in love with Remus… and your solution to that was to become clingy with everyone so that you could cuddle with him… while you fucked a bunch of girls?”
“Glad you’re keeping up. Anyways so drunk me just blurts out that it’s because I’m gay. And James gets so excited and he looks at Remus and goes ‘See Moony! I told you he wanted to sleep with you!’” Regulus chokes.
“Really?” Nodding, Sirius continued.
“So naturally I’m like ‘Fuck yeah I want to sleep with Moony!’ but also like ‘What the fuck James?’ So long story short we ended up getting together.”
“You hooked up.”
“Got together.” Regulus just shook his head.
“It’s your story, tell it how you like.” Sirius shot him an annoyed glare.
“Not that it’s your business but Moony is a gentleman and wouldn’t fuck me while I was so drunk.” Regulus mock gagged. “You brought up hooking up.”
“Actually no, you brought it up when you said you wanted to sleep with him.”
“Damn, I did. Okay, different conversation. Hm…” Sirius contemplated for a few moments. “I still need a nickname for you. I suppose I can call you Reg but it doesn’t hit quite right.” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“You’re committed to this aren’t you?” He grinned.
“Of course.”
“Well, sometimes my friends call me Reggie.”
“Reggie.” Studying him intently Sirius tested the name. “I like that. Alright then Reggie. Another question for you, how far away do you live?” Regulus considered the question. How far away he lived didn’t tell Sirius much of anything so there was still the option to retreat at home without him finding him.
“Half an hour’s drive or so.” Sirius tilted his head to the side slightly.
“How’d you get here then?” Hesitating he considered lying, saying he’d parked a car somewhere or used a cab but he just let out a small sigh.
“Pandora’s got a friend like three minutes from your shop, she dropped me off and is hanging out over there in case she needs to come get me.” Sirius frowned.
“I’m not sure if I should take offense to that. Did you think I’d try and do something?” Regulus paused for a second too long. “Reggie? You know I’m not going to hurt you, right?” He just shrugged slightly.
“I dunno. I think I know that logically but there’s something that says that you’re still mad at me and I just… I don’t know. I only ever saw you at home and home was bad and I think my mind connects the two. I was scared and Pandora offered so…” He let his voice trail off and looked away from Sirius, studying the tea that he’d refused to touch. There was silence for several long moments and a few tears slipped down his cheeks. Then Sirius scooted next to him and very gently wiped the tears away.
“Hey, you don’t have to feel bad. I know trauma does weird things sometimes. If having your friend nearby made you feel safe enough to come talk to me then I don’t mind. Alright?” He sniffled softly.
“It’s stupid, you’re okay now.” Sirius laughed softly.
“I’m definitely not okay. I’ve just had more time to deal with everything, don’t forget that. You were there for so many more years. And I’m sorry for that.”
“I’m the one that swore you out and refused to leave.” Sirius just shook his head slightly.
“And I shouldn't have accepted your no. But playing the blame game doesn't help anyone. Neither of us can change the past. So how about we just work with what we have and where we are?” He studied Sirius's face for several moments before nodding.
“Alright.” Sirius gave him a small smile.
“We'll figure this whole crazy situation out. Promise.” Regulus hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Sirius, squeezing him tightly. “I don't think I've ever gotten a hug from you, usually you just stand there giving me a look like I'm torturing you.”
“Shut up, hug me back.” Sirius laughed lightly but wrapped his arms around Regulus and pulled him into his chest. He hid a smile in Sirius's shoulder, it had been so long since they'd been able to just exist like this, without some social expectation or residual anger from an argument. He felt warm and safe and very sleepy. It was like all the extra energy he'd been expending on worrying had caught up to him finally.
“You're safe here Reggie, I promise.” It occurred to him that he probably should tell Pandora he was alive but he was content where he was. Sirius let out a little chuckle.
“I remember when we used to sneak into each other's rooms after nightmares. We were both so little.” Regulus hummed in agreement. The last time he remembered doing that was when he was eleven. “It's late. You can go to sleep if you want, Reggie.” He might have said more after that but Regulus let out a little content sigh and was out.