Chapter 1
Regulus frowned at his laptop screen, examining the latest photo Sirius, or @siriuslyblack had been tagged in. @marls had posted a photo that featured Sirius at some party, topless with a drink in hand, dancing on a table. During the past few months he'd figured out most of Sirius's social circle.
@moony, or Remus he'd found from the comments which Regulus assumed was his real name, was a bit nerdy constantly posting book quotes and new grandpa like sweaters he got. Regulus had also found out he enjoyed tea, chocolate, and was undeniably head over heels in love with Sirius. Photos of the two of them often showed them holding hands, Sirius on Remus’s lap, snogging, making heart eyes at each other, or any combonation of the four.
@prongs, or James who appeared to be his best friend, never seemed to have matured past age of about twelve. The majority of his posts were of immature jokes, the most out of pocket shit posts, videos of him doing the stupidest stunts and often ending up hurt, and despite his childish nature, a surprising amount of mental health awareness and pride posts.
@wormtail hardly posted, well that Regulus could see he supposed might post to followers only. @marls and @dorlene also hardly posted unless they were tagging other people but had cutsey matching profile pictures. @lils page was almost sickeningly wholesome and the rest of his followers seemed to be more of acquaintances than in the friend group.
As for Sirius himself, he seemed to post any interesting thought, half decent selfie, funny meme, or pride post he came across. Regulus hated to admit it but he was grateful for any shred of connection he had with his brother. He hadn't seen his brother since he'd left at age fifteen, and seven years later he took anything he could get. He still remembered that night like it was yesterday.
“Just come with me please.” He'd clenched his hands in the top layer of his skirt as he spat back.
“And live with a bunch of faggots?” Sirius’s face fell but he still pleaded.
“I know how you feel about me but please just put that aside for once. It's not safe for you to stay. Please.” Regulus had just looked at him in disgust.
“No.” The harsh finality in his tone made Sirius's shoulders slumped. “If you're going to leave, do it now.” Sirius reached for his bag, then hesitated. He looked up at Regulus and an understanding passed between them. This was it. Once Sirius left they'd probably never see each other.
“One last hug?” Sirius's voice cracked. “One hug from my little sis to give me some luck for the trip? Regulus had glared, but hadn't said no so Sirius wrapped him in the tightest hug imaginable before he disappeared, the front door cracked and his steps fading down the street.
He'd spent the next four years of his life regretting that decision. Once he had turned seventeen Walburga had become fixated on finding him a husband. When he'd been told his wedding was arranged for a month after his eighteenth birthday he'd just smiled politely at the man that was to become his husband.
Then came Barty and Evan.
He met them at his engagement banquet a few months before his birthday and somehow the moment he'd greeted them they'd clocked that something was different. He'd hardly been small talking with guests for half an hour when they managed to drag him away somewhat inconspicuously.
“So what's your deal?” Barty had given him an up-down. “Lesbian? Ace? Is he just too old and ugly for you?” Evan elbowed him.
“What Barty's trying to say is that you look far too miserable for a bride to be.” Regulus’s polite smile faltered.
“I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about.” Rolling his eyes Barty had laughed.
“Good one. Now spit it out.” Him and Barty had a short staring contest before Barty let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine, you don't want to tell us, that's fine. I'll go first.” He grabbed Evan's collar and dragged him down to snog him right in front of Regulus. After a few moments of them making out while Regulus stared at them, mouth open in shock, Barty pulled away. “Happy?”
“I'm… I'm trans. I'm a guy. And I think I still like guys too, just not my fiance.” Evan had nodded several times.
“That's rough. Enough to make any guy downright miserable. Do you have a different name that you like?” Regulus was replaying Evan's “any guy” in his head and it took him a few seconds to register the question.
“I uh… I've just kind of been surviving, not super concerned on the name front right now.” Barty grinned and raised an eyebrow.
“But?” Regulus had bitten his bottom lip, considering.
“I dunno, I've always liked Regulus, like the star.” Evan nodded several times.
“Regulus. It suits you. You want to get out of this place? Run away?" Regulus scowled.
"Haven't got anywhere to run to." Evan had just shrugged.
"Me, Barty, and a friend are planning on running away in a few months. You could come with us. Regulus had given the two of them a quizzical look.
"Why would you do that for me? We don't exactly know each other." Barty shrugged slightly.
"Us queers have to stick together."
He'd run off on his wedding day.
Half an hour before his ceremony he'd convinced his mother and bridesmaids to give him a few minutes alone before the big moment. Almost the instant the door closed Barty had popped in the open window.
"You ready to get out of here?"
"Fuck yes." And he'd climbed out the window, still in his wedding dress, and run with Barty to the van parked in front of the venue. The two had climbed in with Barty shrieking "floor it" to someone in the front seat and thus began his new life.
He'd cut his hair, bought new clothes and a binder, and became Regulus. He'd gotten a job and with Barty, Evan, and their friend Pandora bought a flat.
The next two years where a nightmare, the trauma processing and hitting him in the face with full force but with his friends, and an extensive amount of therapy and medication, he made it. Once the doubts of survival lifted off his shoulders however he was met with another issue.
The obession with finding his brother began. With no clue where he was, who he was with, or even if he was still alive he didn't have much to go off of. But he still searched for weeks.
Then one day while he was making breakfast he'd glanced over Pandora's shoulder and caught a glimpse of her feed. One word caught his attention. Sirius.
He'd snatched the phone without a second thought, ignoring her protests. He still had to fight back a smile at the memory of that wonderfully stupid post.
"Oh, I'm so chaotic it must be because of my star sign, omg stawp." No you fucking idiot it's not your star sign you just have no impulse control or survival instict you dumb fuck. (Yes Sirius this is a targeted post)
He'd nearly fainted, dropping his cereal and sinking into a chair. Sirius. It wasn't a common name, mostly because anyone with a brain and self respect would refuse to name their kid that. Within two minutes he'd found the account that posted it, then from there, Sirius's.
If only he'd done anything with it. He hadn't reached out, hadn't followed, hadn't even liked any of his posts. Just checked the account religiously like some kind of stalker. For months.
"Just reach out," Pandora had groaned after Regulus had complained for what must have been the millionth time. "What's the worst thing that could happen? Him not respond?" So he'd typed up a message. Then deleted it. Then several days later typed one again, he deleted that one too.
But today was the day. He was going to reach out to him even if he had to sit in front of his computer for hours to build up the courage to do so.
He stared at the paragraph he'd typed over an hour ago as if willing it to send itself. When it didn't he very slowly moved his mouse to hover over the send button. Then, nausea building in his stomach, he clicked it.