Why Do You Doubt?
“Hermione Jean Granger!” Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin. She recognized the voice coming from the waiting room of the Creature Induced Injuries Ward, but he had never directed that tone towards her. He was fucking pissed. “Get your ass in here and explain this letter now, before I track you down myself.”
Taking him at his word, she ran to her best friend before he caused an even bigger scene. Taking only a second to register the giant bite in his side, she pulled him and Andrei into the room specifically designed for the Romanian Dragon Tamers. She sat him on the bed and started to heal the bite (which left around 30 individual punctures to heal) one layer of skin at a time.
Charlie seemed to be gearing us for a fight when Hermione cut him off, voice smaller and more exhausted than she would’ve liked. “If you want to be healed, you need to let me focus for a minute. After that, you can yell at me all you want, and I’ll do my best to explain things. Deal?”
Nodding, he seemed to finally acknowledge the fact that he was in pain as he rested his head on her left shoulder and gripped his thigh so tight his knuckles turned white. Andrei, sensing this was a personal moment, shut and locked the door behind him as he left the room. Charlie didn’t even lift his head as he waved his other hand, and a Silencing charm settled around the room. It gave her time to finally think. She had always done her best thinking with Charlie.
An hour after she had started to heal him, she was finally finished. The only reason she had been able to heal him so quickly was because she was dual casting, using his wand and hers at the same time. The process normally went on for at least two hours. As she gave his wand back to him, Charlie wrapped his arm around her waist. Hermione tried to free herself from his grip, but he laid back against the elevated head of the bed, pulling her with him until they sat with Hermione practically curled into his now healed side. His hand stroked carefully through her curls, and she was too exhausted to try and fight him.
“You can yell at me now, Charlie. I don’t have to concentrate to heal you anymore.” Her voice was still so small. It was pathetic, and Hermione hated it more than anything.
“I won’t yell at you, dragă. You had me terrified. I know every possible way you could write. I know the inflection of your voice. I know how you dismiss people, and that’s exactly what you were doing to me. You were trying to get rid of me for some reason, and I need you to tell me why. Please, Mia. Pansy said that no one besides the Weasley clan has met up with you in three years, and even those interactions were at events. You never write back to any of them, and you’ve somehow blocked their Patronuses. Luna can’t See you anymore. She said anytime she’s tried, she gets trapped in darkness. Fred tells me that I’m the only person that still contacts you on a regular basis, and now you’re trying to shut me out, too. So please tell me what’s going on, and then we can fix this. Our friends want you back. Need you back, actually.”
Hermione sighed as she curled deeper into her best friend’s side, wrapping her arms around his waist and placing her head on his warm chest. She was always cold now, and Charlie was like a furnace. That was the excuse she would use for being so close to him. She figured that he wouldn’t mind, though. Charlie had always been a hugger.
“I’m struggling, Char. This job takes so much out of me, and being with Ron isn’t helping me either. I’ve been so supportive of him for years, but it’s like nothing I do is ever good enough. And he likes to constantly remind me of the fact that, without him, I would have no one. And I know he’s wrong, but when you’re as isolated as me and get told the same thing many times over the course of five years, logic takes a backseat, and you start to believe it. Especially when you haven’t had contact with the people you love most in such a long time.”
She was on the verge of crying. She knew it but continued anyway. “I know something needs to give, and I’m thinking of trying therapy. I think the therapist would tell me I need to work on my relationships outside of Ron. Meaning I need to try and get back into contact with our friends and my parents. Maybe we could all go on a vacation? Or maybe I should try and talk to Ron, tell him how I’ve been feeling. He loves me. Or at least… I love him. We’ll work this out.”
Charlie gently placed a finger underneath her chin and lifted her head to make her look him in the eyes. “Hermione,” he began. “Dragă, listen to me. If you have to question whether or not he loves you, then he does not love you. I do not care how often he tells you; if he doesn’t show it, and you can’t feel it, then the love does not exist. You are already so desperately loved by the Snakes, my sisters, my brothers, me, your parents, and Maria and Sebastián. We’ve all missed you so fucking much, and seeing you now breaks my heart. I know it would break our friends’ hearts too.”
Hermione closed her eyes as she felt tears fall down her face. Charlie swiped them away but continued talking. “Tell me, Mia, how long did it take for him to convince you we did not love you? That we would no longer walk through even the hottest of dragon fire just to reach you?”
She hesitated before answering as truthfully as she could. Charlie was persistent and knew her well enough to know when she was lying. “I stopped believing only a year or so ago.”
“How long has it been since you’ve seen your parents that you went through so much to save?”
“Around the same time I stopped believing.”
“Why did you ever let him stop you from coming to Romania and living out your dream?”
“Because, growing up, he was my dream, Charlie. I’ve spent so much of my life loving him that when I finally got him, I couldn’t imagine ever letting him go. I still don’t think I can. So my dream became one that would keep me close to home. I’ve wanted to help and save people my entire life. Being a Healer was another potential dream of mine. What better way to combine them than being a Healer that specializes in magical creatures and injuries caused by them that I don’t have to travel for?
“I know it’s not ideal, but I’m happy with my decision. I never would’ve met Maria and Sebastián if it weren’t for me living here, nor would I be able to help the werewolf victims, the werewolves, the Dragon Tamers, the Veela, and all of these people involved with the magical beings and creatures. I feel like I’m making a difference here.”
“Mia, you saved the world. And don’t give me that “Ron and Harry saved it, I was just the one with books” bullshit again or so help me; I will hogtie you, throw you over my shoulders, and drag you to Romania myself. And Andrei will help, too.” Charlie smirked as Hermione shut her mouth to stop her protests.
“Anyways, as I was saying. You and I both know that those two idiots would’ve been dead in their first year without you. You’ve kept them alive this whole time. Without your brilliance and skills, Voldemort would’ve won. And without you, our friends would not be the people they are today.”
“I believe they would be. They’re better than their parents. They love each other so deeply.”
He chuckled softly as he pushed a curl behind her ear and laid her head back against his chest. “Hermione, no one changes that much on their own. Take Ginny for example. Molly raised Gin so conservatively that when she met you for the first time in your shorts and tank top, she was horrified. I got a letter telling me that she was pretty sure she had met a stripper or hooker, but it was strange that she was twelve. I had to explain that your outfit was common in the Muggle World and that even half-bloods would wear those styles too. Now look at her; she wears crop tops, ripped jeans, mini skirts, shorts, and tank tops on top of wearing traditional wizarding clothes and her Quidditch gear. You inadvertently helped her find her own style just by wearing your own.
“Then there’s Blaise, who was a complete womanizer. I vividly remember hearing the story of how he tried coming onto Ginny, trying to hook up, and you hexed him with something that gave him a limp dick the next time he tried to be with a girl. And told them that if he wanted to be with Ginny at all, he needed to get to know her and become friends with her first. And, now they’re engaged.” He hesitated for a second then seemed to have an afterthought. “Ginny said to tell you that you’ll be her maid of honor even if she has to drag you to the wedding herself, by the way.” Hermione smiled and mentally squealed for her friends while Charlie continued on. This was the most he’d talked about personal things in ages.
“And, finally, you changed Pansy fucking Parkinson. Which was your biggest accomplishment in our friend group yet. You called her out for being a complete bitch, proceeded to defend her against some of the other Eighth Years, and held her while she was having a panic attack. You allowed her into your circle, and in doing so, you brought her and Harry together. Because of you, they found a comfort that they hadn’t been able to find in anyone else. Your brother laughs and is snarky again because of Pans. Hell, Harry had to fight for the right to have you as his best woman because Pans wanted you as her bridesmaid.
“Draco wouldn’t have opened his bar, Tori and Pansy would’ve been in arranged marriages with some random guys, Blaise would still be breaking girls’ hearts, Ginny wouldn’t be as confident, Luna would still be an outcast, Harry wouldn’t laugh as much, and Theo would’ve drank himself to death. All of that changed because you’re too. Fucking. Stubborn to let people suffer alone, even if it means potentially letting your mental health decline. So I’m taking that role. Now, it’s your turn to have someone take care of you.”
Hermione sighed as she took a moment to process everything he had said. She was just so fucking tired that she wished she could stay with Charlie, even for a few moments longer. She also knew he was right and wished she could talk longer, but she was still at work. She still had patients to see.
Charlie seemed to sense her thoughts as he tightened his grip on her and promptly informed her that Andrei had already told Kelly, their charge Healer for tonight’s shift, that Charlie refused to let any other Healer see or treat him for the rest of his stay, which would last for at least another twelve hours, at least, since they kept the Dragon Tamers for a night minimum. Hearing this, Kelly had given the rest of Hermione’s patients to the other Healers.
According to Charlie, Hermione was strongly encouraged to stay with him at all times until he left the hospital. “Essentially, since I know your Healing capabilities are nearly perfect, you now get to nothing. Meaning you can sleep, we can talk, we can eat, or just sit here in silence. Andrei made it perfectly clear that none of the rest of my family was to know that I’m here. The only one who would’ve been contacted was you, since I made you my only emergency contact over a year ago.”
“Why am I your only emergency contact, Charlie?” The reassurance that she could sleep for as long as she wanted was so tempting, but she needed to know the answer.
He buried his head into her curls. “Because you’re the only one I trust with my life.”