Remus Pov
“Lily, why do I like him? Couldn’t I like, I don't know, Peter instead? It's so frustrating” I say to her.
“I know Remus, you've been saying this for over a year now. Honestly, why don't you just go out with someone else? I mean, in this way, you could see if he is interested in you, maybe seeing you under another light would help. If he's not, then you have found another person that you might actually like that isn't Sirius”. She says.
“Lily, tell me, how many other gays who are also willing to be with a gay man that is also a werewolf? Because if there's even one enlight me please” I say desperately frustrated.
“ Well Lockhart has spent all last year trying to impress you, it won't be hard to ask him out just to see Sirius reaction out of it.” She simply says.
“First of all I can't stand him, he's so pleased with himself and second of all he doesn't even know I am queer so that wouldn't mean anything in his eyes”.
“Remus you can tell the three of them that you are queer, they will be supportive. You know I'm not James’ biggest fan but he would never judge you for that, nor would Peter, and I know Sirius might be a bit off because in his family queer people are abnormal and monsters but he doesn’t have their beliefs. They all accepted a werewolf sleeping in the same room, they became animagus for you, they will accept you being queer. They aren’t bad people. Please don't tell them I said this, Sirius and James will never let it go.”
Merlin, sometimes she gets me like no one.
She truly is my best friend even if we don’t often say it, I truly love her.
Well she is right.
I should tell them, maybe right away.
If they didn't say anything about me being a werewolf they won't bat an eye with me being queer.
I mean it's already a big tragedy being a monster creature once a month afraid of killing my best friends, how could it be worse having them know about me being queer?.
“Thanks Lils, you are right. I should tell them. At least it won't be awkward anymore when they ask me a bit about girls and why they never saw me with one”
“God you're so smart yet sometimes you're so stupid but I love you for that” She hugs me tightly.
We are in our dormitory jocking and eating sweets.
Me and Peter in my bed and James and Sirius in James’ bed, when we were little we used to all fit in one bed but we have to adjust in two beds now.
“Pads I already told you. You don't mix these two or you will be vomiting all night and I won't help you and neither will the two of them” James says indicating me and Peter.
“Thank you a lot Prongs you truly are a friend. Now if you'll excuse me I will sit with Moony. Wormtail come here with Potter. I will be with Moony tonight.”
He says as he comes towards my bed.
Sirius seats where before was Peter but he has longer legs so our knees are touching but this doesn't seem to bother him.
It's hard not making a big deal out of it.
Usually we end up playing wizard chess two against two. Most of the time me and Peter win, all thanks to Peter obviously.
“So let's play chess” James says.
“Excited to have Wormtail on your side tonight, right Prongs?”
“You bet your wolfy ass I am Moony” James responds.
“Please don't call my ass like that.”
“He is right, it deserves better treatment than that. By the way, why don't we do something different tonight? Like, I don't know, a muggle game.” Sirius says.
Did he just say what I heard? Does my ass deserve better treatment?
They all stare at me.
“So, Moony, what game are you proposing?” Wormtail asks.
Oh shit. Right, I'm the only one that knows muggle games.
Well this could be my chance to tell them. It’s so scary yet I want to tell them.
“Let's play a game called two truths, one lie. In this game you have to say one truth about yourself and one lie about yourself, the other players have to say which one is a lie” I say.
That is my occasion, now or never.
“I like it. Let's play” James says.
“Can I go first?” Wormtail asks.
We all nod.
“I am half Irish, I don't have a girlfriend and I prefer Mercury over Bowie.”
“You aren’t half Irish” Sirius yelled.
“Yes I am. My Mother is from Galway”.
“Well you do prefer Freddie over Bowie when Pads or Moony put music”
“WORMTAIL HAS A GIRLFRIEND” I yell.
“Cmon he wouldn't keep it from us” Sirius says.
“Yes he would because he knows you and Prongs” I continue.
“Yes I would, but I am telling you now” Peter says.
“Who is she?” James asks.
“You will find out tomorrow. Now let’s continue the game.”
They all turn to me so I guess it is my turn now.
Now or never.
My heart is racing so fast I can’t even hear if one of them incited me to speak.
“I turn into a creature of the night every full moon, I don’t have any tattoos and… I am queer” I finally say.
They all look at me like I am a madman.
Fuck I didn’t have to say it.
I knew it was wrong to tell them.
“You don’t have any tattoos that I recall.” James is the first one to speak.
“He actually has one. A little star on the tight. I did it last year”
Sirius seems the most shocked between the three of them.
I knew it was wrong.
“Well now we know why Lockhart is always with you” James says with his little smirk.
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE LOCKHART?
“No Lockhart no for Merlin sake” Sirius says.
“Why not?” Peter says.
Wormtail and Prongs are looking at him in disbeliefs.
“I mean he is him and Moony is Moony. Lockhart is a braggart,too stupid to even do some simple magic and always brags about something that he doesn’t even know how to do. Moony deserves better than him. He is way smarter and beautiful for him.” Sirius says.
They look at him like they weren’t expecting it.
To be honest neither did I.
I think that I am blushing a bit. Our knees are still touching.
“Well thank you but if you’re done talking about my love life in my presence I can tell you that me and Lockhart aren’t a thing and that I’m not interested in him.” I say casually.
“Who are you interested in, Moony?” James asks.
In Sirius.
But I can’t tell them, it can’t happen.
“In no one right now”
That’s one of the biggest lies I ever said.
Now James and Peter stand up and are coming towards me.
I’m scared, I don’t know what they will do.
“Then we have to search someone for you Moony, you deserve a little love just like anyone else, if not more.” James says.
And then he hugs me. Tightly.
James is truly one of the best people in the whole world.
He may have a big ego and be a bit spoiled but he would do anything for the people he loves. Anything.
Peter and Sirius follow James and here we are, four boys of sixteen years all hugging in one bed where can barely fit one.
“You moron, you really thought that we weren’t gonna support you? We are your best friend and if you think that we would finally let you go just because you like boys your bloody wrong Moony. You will never be free from us” James says.
“Yah Moony, how could you think that we were gonna ever let you live in peace?” Peter adds.
Sirius doesn’t say anything. I don’t know what to expect from him at this point.
“I guess I do love you a little bit.” I say.
I’ve never liked to say these things out loud, I’ve always preferred to demonstrate them but sometimes it’s a cathartic experience to say it. Even if it’s a bit awkward.
“Wow, who taught that Remus Lupin sometimes can be sweet and demonstrate he has feelings?” Sirius finally speaks.
“Fuck off” I respond.
“We love you too Moony, even if we don’t say it often” Peter says.
“Speak for yourself, I say it every time I can, even if it bothers you” James says.
Yeah it is truth.
He always tends to say it, even if we aren’t the people to say it often or at all.
“Well this time counts for like a year so make it last” I say.
“Now you are all suffocating me so please fuck off and let me breathe” I say.
They all get off but Sirius stays right where he was before.
Our knees are always touching.
Merlin, he will kill me someday.
“So Moony, how is it your type? I mean if we have to find someone for you at least we have to know what we are looking for” James asks.
Oh Merlin, it’s so weird.
It’s Sirius, with his long black wavy hair, and his silver eyes that have me hypnotized, his full lips, his cheekbones and Merlin I’m such a mess.
“I don’t know. I think I prefer someone with darker hair than someone with blonde hair, I guess someone tall but not as me. A guy that doesn’t always agree with me because then it would be boring or I don’t know a guy that likes me for who I truly am. I don’t think I have a type so I don’t know.”
That’s a lie I do have a type and his name is Sirius Orion Black.
“Well tomorrow we will go on a mission: find someone for our Moony”
“Guys you really don’t have to. I’m fine by myself.”
“Moony you deserve someone by your side, it doesn’t matter how much you think the contrary, you deserve it more than anyone” Sirius says.
Yeah in fact I want you.
Sirius Pov
Why is Moony’s heart beating so fast?
“I turn into a creature of the night every full moon, I don’t have any tattoos and… I am queer”Moony says.
We all look at him in disbelief.
I can’t believe it.
He is queer.
I don’t know what to say, I am petrified.
“You don’t have any tattoos as I remember.” James is the first one to speak.
“He actually has one. A little star on the tight . I did it last year.” It’s the only thing that I can say.
I still haven't moved my knee.
Flashback
“Remember Moony the moon isn’t the only thing in the sky, there are always the stars that shine brighter than the moon. Even when you think that you’re alone, you’re not. You always have me, and the others of course. You’re not alone against the moon, you have your stars too.” I say as we are both lying on my bed while I tattoo him.
This month’s moon has been one of the worst ever and Moony is still in a bad mood even after a week. He needed a distraction.
He is the most beautiful guy I have ever seen.
“Who would have said that Sirius Black could be so sentimental” Remus
says.
“I mean it Moony, just because none of us say it we all care for you, and we know that you care for us” I say.
“I know Pads, and even if I never say it I am grateful for all of you” he says trying to hide a little smile.
“You know, one time we…”
End of flashback
I hear some bullshit about him and Lockhart by James and Merlin fuck no.
“No Lockhart no for Merlin sake” I say. I didn't mean to say it but now it's too late I guess.
“Why not?” Peter says.
Wormtail and Prongs are looking at me in disbeliefs.
I wonder what Remus is thinking.
“I mean he is him and Moony is Moony. Lockhart is a braggart, too stupid to even do some simple magic and always brags about something that he doesn’t even know to do. Money deserves better than him. He is way smarter and beautiful for him.” I don't know why I said all of this. They are all looking at me like I'm mental, which probably I am.
I don't know why I felt the need to say it, I mean yeah I think what I said but I don't know why I think all of this.
I don't know why it bothers me thinking about my Moony and Lockhart together.
It makes me feel weird.
After we all hugged him he says that he loves us and that hits hard.
“Wow, who taught that Remus Lupin sometimes can be sweet and demonstrate he has feelings?” It's the only thing that I can say.
As he keeps describing his type I can't stop imagining about the one who made him realise. He must be a good looking guy and a good guy for making Moony realise, at least is what he deserves.
“Guys you really don’t have to. I’m fine by myself.” I hear him say.
“Moony you deserve someone by your side, it doesn’t matter how much you think the contrary” I respond.
Remus most of the time thinks he doesn’t deserve anything because he isn't used to it but in reality he deserves more than what I, or any of us, could ever give him. He is so much I can't even describe him.
He just feels like the best part of your favourite Bowie’s song, the one part that you wait for all the duration of the song, the one part for which you keep listening to the same song over and over again.
As the game ends and we all say goodnight when I'm in bed I can’t stop thinking about Moony telling us that he is queer.
My family always had a type of ideology about many things and being queer is one of them.
They always denigrated homosexuals and everything, they told me and Regulus that it wasn't normal and that it was wrong and I never really had a thought about that.
I mean yeah I never was okay with what my family has said but I thought that it was strange, a bit weird.
But if Remus is homosexual how could it be weird or wrong?
Remus isn't weird or wrong or anything bad at all.
He is just Moony.
My Moony.
No it's not weird at all.
I had thought sometimes about boys but the thought always disgusted me but if Moony thinks that it certainly can't be wrong.
But everytime I start to question, I feel this guilt and I feel ashamed of myself.
Like my body isn’t mine anymore, and never has, my skin starts to suffocate me and it just makes me want to drown myself in my impure thoughts and lie there till I die.
I know that I like girls but is it so wrong not liking just girls? I never came to an answer because I'd start to throw up before .
Maybe it is wrong only if I feel it.
Remus Pov
I can't stop thinking about Sirius’ words.
I should be sleeping right now but I can't stop thinking about him.
He said so many kind words towards me tonight that I didn't think were possible.
Does he really thinks even half of it?
Does he really think that I am smart and beautiful?
Oh Merlin he remembered about the tattoo he made me.
It was the day where I realized that I am queer and it was him who made me realize that his eyes were the only silver thing where I could get lost without feeling pain.
The way that he touched my skin so gently like he was afraid to break me, even if he knew that I am far from breaking, and like I was important.
The way that his skin burned against mine, making the fire seem cold.
The way his hair was in front of his face while he was looking down.
The way he looked so concentrated.
The way he said that I would always have him and the way that he said that he is my star.
That day something changed for me.
That was the day when I fell for him.
While Lady Stardust was playing he tattooed me and realizing that he is the one Bowie’s talking about in the song really didn’t help at all.
Before that day songs were just songs, even though I always liked them, they never spoke to me that way.
From that day on every song has been about him.
I have never been scared about being queer, I mean I am one of the dangerous creatures everyone sane is scared and afraid of and I already don’t deserve any of what I have, being queer doesn't really change it.
I know that society views about queer people, let alone a queer werewolf, and I don’t care if society thinks I’m wrong, they’re gonna say things regardless so I just let people talk.
Breakfast is a bit awkward.
Not because they are treating me differently but because they are trying to set me up with someone.
“So Moony, what do you think about him? Is he cute?” James asks about some ravenclaw.
I mean he is cute but he isn’t Sirius Black.
“Don’t think he is a friend of Dorothy anyway” Lily introduces herself.
“Well we don’t care who his friends are and who is this Dorothy anyway?” Peter says.
I can’t help but laugh and Lily does the same.
They are looking at us like we are crazy.
Sometimes I forget that they don’t know the muggle world.
“Wormy being a friend of Dorothy is a muggle way to secretly say that you are queer” I explain.
“Can’t we leave Moony alone? If he wants to find someone he will, and we don’t know who actually is queer to set him up so it’s just a waste of time” Sirius says.
He seems a bit off.
“Damn Black if I didn’t know any better I would say that you are jealous” Lily speaks again teaing.
I stare at her mentally saying ‘Are you out of your mind?’.
James and Peter laugh a bit.
“Yeah I totally am.” he says sarcastically. “You can say what you want Evans but you know he deserves someone who knows him and we can’t certainly know who is queer and who isn’t so we can’t find someone for him if he doesn’t look for himself” he continues.
“For me he should just go out with Lockhart, maybe romantically he is different from how he is normally” Lily says.
I know what she’s trying to do and this time I’m not gonna stop her.
“That’s exactly what I said yesterday” James says.
Well yeah he did say it.
“Well speaking about him. Look who’s coming in our way” Peter exclaims.
There he is.
Lockhart with is stupid smile and strange walk.
Merlin I can’t stand him.
“Remus I was looking for you.” He says.
“Well you found him” Sirius says as he is leaving.
We watch him leaving.
“Is Black okay?” Lockhart asks, a bit curious.
“Yeah he is. You said you were looking for me. Why?” I ask.
“I was wondering if this weekend you wanted to come with me to Hogsmeade, I heard that there is gonna be a book fair and I thought that you might be interested” He says casually.
“Of course he will come with you, right James?” Lily says.
“Sure, Remus will come with you Lockhart don’t worry” James says.
“Well thank you for answering for me but ok, what they said” I say.
I am abandoned to my destiny. Where is Sirius when you need him the most?
“Ok, perfect, can we meet up at 9 O’clock here?” he asks.
“Yeah at 9 is perfect” I respond.
“Ok, so see ya around” he says as he leaves.
“Why do you hate me so much?” I asks them.
I’m so frustrated right now.
Why can’t they just leave me alone?
“Because he is crazy about you and maybe you just need to see him in a different light” Lily explains.
“What she said” James and Peter say.
Later on the day Sirius and I spoke normally but when he found out about my plans for the weekend he left again.
Sometimes I really don’t understand why he has to be so dramatic, ok I get it you are a Black and they are known to be very dramatic, but contain yourself dude.
I talked about that with Lily and she said that he is jealous but I mean it can’t be, it’s totally impossible.
For the rest of the week he continued to ignore me most of the time and even James and Peter didn’t understand why because with them he was normal like always.
They also said that he hadn’t had a problem with me being queer so they really don’t get it.
Sirius Pov
I don't know what the fuck is happening.
Why do I feel this way?
Why does it bother me so much with who Moony goes out with?
I don't care if he goes out with a boy but why does it have to be him?
He isn't the one right for him.
He is too much for him.
Moony deserves someone that can handle every part of him, good or bad.
He deserves someone who cares about him unconditionally.
He deserves someone who can argue with him and then the second later it's everything okay.
He deserves someone that know him, someone that knows that even if he has a sweet tooth he likes his coffee black, or that even if he swears the contrary his hip hurt, and even if he seems so tough or that he doesn't feel any emotion he is very caring and loves deeply his friends and will do anything for them.
He thinks that he isn't enough and that he doesn't deserve what he has but it isn't true and he deserves someone that can make him forget about anything bad that happened to him.
He deserves someone that isn't so obnoxious like Lockhart.
He deserves someone that is different from him but at the same time who is the same.
“Can you explain what the fuck just happened?” James asks while he enters the door.
Oh right we have the first period free today.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You stormed out of the room while having breakfast just as soon as Lockhart came. What is wrong with you? And don't say that you have a problem with Moony being queer because if it is then man up and get over it” James says.
“How could you even suggest that I have a problem with that? I thought you knew me”
“Then what just happened?” He asks, concerned.
“I don't know” I genuinely say.
He comes beside me in my bed.
“Pads you can talk to me, you know that. What is happening?” He asks.
“I really don't know. I don't want Moony to go out with him, not because he is a boy but because he is Lockhart, he doesn't deserve him, not even slightly.”
“And that bothered you because?” Prongs asks.
“Because he deserves someone different, someone better” I say.
“Okay I agree with you, but you can't change that, if he wants to go out with him that shouldn't be your problem, I'm not Lockhart's biggest fan either but it doesn't bother me. It shouldn't bother you too.” He says.
I am afraid of what I'm about to say but I do have to say it.
My hands are shaking and my heart is beating faster than ever.
I can feel my eyes watering.
“Prongs, do you think that it's wrong or weird to like boys and girls?” I shyly ask.
Now tears are completely running down my face.
“Do you like both boys and girls Pads?” he gently asks.
“I don't know but I think I do.” I finally say.
“Then it isn't wrong or weird. I think that if you like someone it's not wrong, it's just human and we are humans.
Liking someone isn't a sin, feeling something isn't a sin, being human isn't a sin. If you think that you like girls and boys then it's okay. You don't have to feel ashamed or anything else. You are just you and that's the important thing Sirius. You are my brother either way. Now come here you stupid” and he hugs me.
I can't stop crying in his arms.
“You are my brother too James.” I say with my shaking voice.
“Now, what does it have to do with Remus the fact that you like girls and boys?” He asks.
“I really don't know and it's so frustrating” I say, still crying and I start to laugh because I am such a mess.
James laughs with me.
Once my brother, always my brother.
“I think that you have something to deal with ” he says.
“I know but I don't want to. It's terrifying.”
“I know but there's nothing to be afraid of, Pads. We are with you, I am with you.”
“I know Prongs and thank you. But what if the truth is something even more terrifying? What if it is something that I don't want ?” I ask.
“Pads, I think that you already know the answer, you just have to understand it. I don’t think that it’s something impossible” James says.
Oh.
Oh.
And this is the moment I understand everything.
I don’t have a problem with Remus going out with a boy but I do have a problem that this boy isn’t me.
“I like Remus, more than a friend” I say in disbelief.
“Yeah Pads you like Remus” James says.
“You knew. How did you know?” I ask.
“Well I had some doubts before but I was mostly sure yesterday, about the way you reacted” James says.
“Do you need a moment alone Pads?” he continues.
“Yes please.” I respond.
“Before I leave let me tell you that I think that it is mutual and I think that Lily agrees”
And so he leaves.
Oh Merlin.
I fancy Remus.
I could have realised that before.
I felt something with Moony that I felt with some girls before but never that strongly.
He also made me feel safe in a way that no one ever did, neither did James, because he understood what it was like to live in a family that is fucked up.
James always tried to support me and understand me but there are things that if you don’t live it you can’t totally comprehend it.
And Moony did, he always did, even when I didn’t talk about it he understood.
He made me feel like I could always say what I thought, even in a harsh way because he knew that I needed it, even though I didn’t actually believe in the things that I was saying and that I just needed to let myself go.
He always understood me in a lever that no one ever did because he knew what it was like.
He never made me feel like I was too much and he always let me talk, even if he didn’t know what the hell I was talking about and I always did the same.
He always said what he thought and that is something that I appreciate about him.
Sometimes he makes me feel like I am dying, the way that he looks at me, or the way that he sticks his tongue out while he is concentrating, the way he thinks totally different from the other people, how smart and funny he is and sarcastic.
And he is beautiful, he is taller than me and that makes me go crazy, he has these long lashes, such beautiful red lips and brown eyes that Merlin.
And I like the way that he gets cold so easily.
Shit.
It’s much worse than I thought.
Why do I really have to like Moony?
I have to understand if he could like me or not but I don’t think he does.
So I do the only thing left to do, crying till I don’t have any tears left.
I cry till I can’t see anymore.
I cry till I have an headache that will remain for days,
I cry till I purify my body.
“Ehi Moony, what are you reading?” I ask when I see him in the common room near the fireplace.
“Black are you okay?” he asks.
Of course not.
“Yeah, of course” I say.
And that’s a lie.
“Remus, what are you wearing sunday?” I hear Lily say.
“Sunday? What happens on Sunday?” I ask.
I wish I never asked.
“Remus got a date with Lockhart, he didn’t tell you?” Lily asks.
“Not yet Lils, I just saw him. And I don’t know, I guess the usual” Remus says.
“What are you doing on Sunday then?”
Why do I have to keep asking? Can’t I just mind my own business? I suppose I like to suffer.
“There’s something at Hogsmeade and he wants to take me there” he casually says.
“Fun.” I sarcastically say. “Well, if after you two want to come with us at the three Broomsticks then do it.” And I leave.
What did I expect? It was obvious that someone would have invited him out.
Why does it hurt so much?
Remus Pov
On Sunday I get there at 9, just like he said, and there he is.
I mean he is cute but not really my type.
"Good Morning Remus” he says.
“Good morning Gilderoy” I respond.
“Shall we go?” he asks.
“Yeah sure”
The rest of the day goes on normally.
We had fun at the fair but I think that he was a bit bored.
We talked a bit but nothing too personal.
Right now we are going to the Three Broomstick where we probably will see the others.
“You know, sometimes I wonder why you are friends with them, especially Black” he says.
“What the fuck do you mean with that?” I ask politely.
“I mean, you are so different from them, and Potter and Black are just some spoiled rich kid that thinks that everything is about them and shits like that. Minus just follows them around, he isn’t really part of the group. And do you really enjoy hanging out with them? I mean they are different from us, they will never accept you”
“Before you can continue to ridicule yourself let me stop you.
I am just like them, they might be rich but they are the best people I know, we are like a family, Peter isn't just there but we are all part of a group that feels like family. They will accept me more than you will ever know and yeah they're not like us because they are better than us because they are good people.
We organise the pranks together even If you think otherwise. James and Sirius aren't the only one, we all work together. And if you think that about my friends, you can go to the castle alone because I'm going to them because I'd rather stay with them than with someone else” I say as I leave.
As I walk to them I think about the day and about how stupid this idea was from the start.
And if that's what people think about our group then they're bloody wrong.
As I enter the Three Broomstick I see them all together, James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Marlene and Mary and reality hits me.
They are my friends and I am safe with them, even if the girls aren't part of the marauders they are part of our group of friends and we are safe till we have each other.
As I walk to them Sirius sees me and calls James.
“Look who’s back from the date” James says.
And I sit with them in the only available seat, between Lily and Sirius.
“Remus how did it go?” Lily asks.
Marlene and Mary are looking at me like they don't understand, which is normal since they don't know.
“Remus went on a date and we didn't know?” Mary says.
“I am queer and the date sucked. He insulted you saying that we aren't like you and that you would never accept me and shits like that, he said that Peter isn't really part of the group and that James and Sirius are the only one behind the pranks and things like that, I just left him there and came to you”.
“But you are the one behind most of the pranks” James says.
“And what does he mean with ‘they will never accept you’. He doesn't know you and he doesn't know us. He doesn't have any right to say that.” Sirius says.
“And Peter isn't part of the group, how dare he? Peter is part of the group just as much as anyone else” James says.
“Thank you Prongs but I think we learnt something more important than the fact that he is a moron” Peter says.
“What?” James asks.
“If Moony doesn't want to go out with them he doesn't have to feel pressured to do it” Peter says.
“Finally thank you that's what I've been saying for days” Sirius says.
“And if I say no then it's no.” I continue.
“Sorry what?” Marlene asks.
“I will tell you later don't worry,” Lily says.
“Well Remus if you want I can present you a boy from ravenclaw, you don't have to go out with him but maybe just speak to him once and then you will decide what to do” Mary says.
And with that I can feel Sirius getting tense.
“Well thank you Mary but right now I don't want to meet anyone else” I say.
The day passes and we start to go back to the castle.
I always stay a bit behind when we walk and this time Sirius stays with me.
“So are you sure you’re good?” he asks.
“Yeah I am, it's not like I liked him anyway” I say.
“You deserve someone better, till then remember that you always have your stars” he says and goes to James.
I think I am blushing.
Maybe he remembers that day too.
When we go back to the castle the girls go back to their room while James and Peter decide to stay in the common room playing chess.
I want to go to our room and Sirius comes with me.
“Do you want to put some music on?” Sirius asks.
“Yeah sure, what do you want?”
“The rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from Mars, obviously” He responds.
As I put it on, Sirius goes to my bed.
It all started the first year while listening to music he just stayed on my bed but now it's more difficult since we grew up.
I join him on the bed.
“I am sorry for how it went today”
“Are you really?”
“Well”
“Pads you don't have to say you're sorry if you aren't because I am not sorry for how it went”. I say.
“Moony, for you, what's the most important thing in a relationship?” he asks.
“I don't know, I guess a solid friendship. I mean you can't be with someone you wouldn't be friends with in the first place, you need someone you know you can trust.” I say.
I hope I haven't said something too revealing.
“So you would be with someone like Prongs?” he asks.
And if I didn't know any better I'd say he is jealous.
“Well he is handsome but no I wouldn't be with someone like him, even though he is a great person” I respond.
“You know you are my best friend right?” he says.
He looks worried about something.
“Yeah, I know Prongs, you are my best friend too” I say.
And I also would be with someone like you. No, not someone like you but you.
As Lady Stardust starts to play he continues.
“I would date someone like you Moony” he says.
I don’t know what to answer because Merlin.
How am I supposed to breathe after he said something like that?
Also while the song that made me realize that I fancied him is playing.
I don’t think I will survive from today.
“Do you remember that this is the same song that was playing while you were tattooing me?” I casually ask.
“Yeah, I do remember” he says.
“That tattoo is the reason why I'm not sorry for how it went today” I say.
“What do you mean?” he curiously asks.
“That day you said that even though sometimes I might think otherwise, I am not alone because I have my stars. I don't have to find someone because I might get lonely but because I have you” I say.
I didn't know I could ever get this sentimental but it's been a weird week so I don't even care anymore.
“Well I am the brightest star” He says with his grin.
Merlin his grin.
He is so beautiful I can’t stand him.
“You always have to brag, don't you?” I say while smiling.
“Well you can't change the fact that I am the brightest star” he continues.
He is the whole night sky, the stars and the moon for me.
“And with that what do you want to say?” I ask.
“I want to say that whatever happens I am here for you. And I desperately want you to say it” he says.
“Say what?”
“That I am the brightest star”
For me you are the only star.
“If I say it one time will you stop?” I ask.
“Probably not”
“Fair enough, you're Sirius Black after all. Well Padfoot you are the brightest star” I say.
I am probably all red.
I can't believe I said it.
I turn to him just to see his reaction and he is blushing?
Did I just make Sirius Black blush?
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD TODAY?
I look somewhere else because it's all too much.
I am feeling too much.
What is happening right now?
“Would you be with someone like me Moony?” he asks.
What in the Merlin's name is happening?
And before I could respond we hear James say
“PRONGS, WORMTAIL IN TRYING TO KILL ME HELP ME” and here it is James coming to the room and we get up trying to change the situation.
It turns out that James asked some first year to scare Wormtail so he could win against him.
Peter didn't take it too well.
The rest of the day went on, we went to dinner and spent some time together after but then we went to sleep.
I couldn’t even respond to his question. Nor that I knew what to respond to that.
I mean I can't go to him and say ‘hey no I don't want to date someone like you because I want to date you but no big deal I know you like girls and everything and that you are just my best friend don't worry about that’ .
Sirius Pov
“Pads we have to talk about it” James says while we are sitting at the three Broomsticks waiting for the girls and Peter.
They just went to see if they could find some sweets since they ended what they had.
“No Prongs we don't have to”
“Sirius, you can't escape something just because you are scared. You have to talk about it” he continues.
“Ok I do have to talk about it but what if I do and then he tells me that the date went well and they start going out together? What if I tell him and he decides that he can no longer be my friend? I'm okay with not having him in my life romantically but I'm not, and I'll never be, ready to not have him in life at all.” I say.
“Even if the date went well, Lockhart isn't you. I talked to Lily and we think the same thing, you two are made for each other.”
“James, there's no need to talk about that, not now. I realized who I am too late and he deserves someone that isn't afraid of being who they are or someone that realizes what they want just when it's too late. He deserves someone better than me, and certainly better than Lockhart” I say.
Right at this moment Lily enters the bar and she is the only one.
“Sorry guys, the others are still searching for something. What were you talking about?” Lily says.
“We were talking about all this nonsense of people being scared of being fragile” James says.
I swear to Merlin that today I will kill him.
I will seriously kill him.
“Trust me I know all about it. Any signs from Remus yet?” Lily asks.
“Not yet. But I bet that we won't have to wait so long.” James says.
“Yeah I think so too”
“If you both are so certain about it not going well why did you pushed him into accepting it? Is it just a joke to you?” I ask.
I swear everyone is getting on my nerves today.
“I have been telling him to accept since last year because maybe it would have made other people realize something and maybe he would have found the one for him. But you know how stubborn he is so he never did because he wanted the situation to stay just like it was. Finally he woke up. Maybe it's the time when other people will wake up too.” Lily says, and Merlin, is she talking about me?
Do they talk about me? Wait, did Moony talk to her about me? No that's impossible, before James said that he spoke to Lily so maybe she is referring to him, not Moony.
I just want to scream.
“Well Moony isn't the only one who is stubborn. I pushed him for the same reason. There are people that need to realize that sometimes what we search is nearer than we think.” James says.
He is talking about Lily but also about me.
And I get this.
I get why they did it.
And they are right, we both are stubborn.
Not long after we see Mary, Marlene and Peter coming towards us.
They bought so many sweets that it wouldn't surprise me if tomorrow they won't be able to do anything besides vomiting.
“Hey guys, what's up?” Marlene asks.
“Nothing new, Sirius is being dramatic as usual” Lily says.
“Thank you very much Lils I love you too” I say.
“C'mon you know I love you, you are my favourite after Remus and Peter you know that”.
“Ouch my ego” James jokes.
“You still have more than all of us put together, don't worry” Mary says.
I mean it is probably true.
It's also true that even if he doesn't show it he is a bit hurt in reality.
I swear sometimes Lily can be so oblivious about how much James is actually in love with her.
We continue to talk about the latest gossip at school, thanks to Mary obviously.
And there he is.
Remus is coming, alone.
And he looks rather angry?
I mean he is hot when he looks angry but what happened?
Well too bad that means that the date didn't go well.
I call Prongs to see and he says “Look who’s back from the date”.
He takes place in the only available seat, between me and Lily and she asks “Remus how did it go?”.
Moony talks a bit about the date and Merlin it really sucked.
I am sorry that it went bad but he really doesn't have any right to speak about us, people that he doesn't know.
WHY DID I SAID IT?
AND WHY PRONGS HAD TO STORM IN THE ROOM RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT?
What the hell happened today?
He said that I am the brightest star.
And he said that friendship is the most important thing in a relationship.
I think that I died right at that moment.
I can't believe I actually said that I would date someone like him, I mean I would date him not someone like him.
How am I supposed to dream tonight?
I can't believe I've been so sincere, if I don’t contain myself everyone will understand except him and I don't want that.
I mean I don't care what the other people say but I care about what he says.
Damn why do I have to be so desperate?
Who thought that fancy someone would be so hard.
I’ve liked some girls but I never felt this way with anyone.
Why does it have to be so fucking hard.
Why does James have to sleep right when I am having a crisis?
Remus Pov
We haven't actually spoke since he asked me that question yesterday but here we are in the library together while the others are doing other things.
He didn't actually had to come to the library but wanted to come with me so here we are.
While we were talking about the history of magic, Lockhart came to us.
What does he want now?
“Hey Remus, can I talk to you for a second?” He asks.
“What do you want now, Lockhart?” I ask.
“I wanted to say that I am sorry for what I said” he says.
“Well it's too late now, isn't it?” Sirius says.
Why does he have to speak?
“I'm nor talking to you Black” Lockhart says.
Before Sirius can say anything I say “Lockhart no one can disrespect my friends and expect it to be fine with me. So you can go to hell”.
“C’mon Remus you know they aren't the people for you. You aren't like them, they will get bored of you and leave when they won't need you anymore” he says.
And this time I can't stop Sirius, nor that I want to.
“Why don't you just shut the fuck up? You don't know a thing about our group of friends and none of that is your fucking business.
You don't have the right to say anything about us or about him because you don't know and you don't have the right to know. Moony is our friend and you will never change that. You don't deserve someone like him by your side because he is too much for you. In reality he is too much for anyone. So why don't you just go to hell and leave him the fuck alone?”
“Damn Black I didn't know you were the type” he says as he leaves.
He is what now?
“What are you talking about?” Sirius asks.
“Moony, what is he talking about? " he asks me.
I turn my head back on the book as I say “I think that Lockhart thinks that you fancy me. Don't mind what he says he really isn't worth it. I don't care about what he says really. You don't have to think about anything at all. It's impossible, I don't even know why he said that -”
“Moony calm down, I don't care about what he says. But why would it be so impossible?” he casually asks while looking at me.
I can feel his silver eyes setting me on fire.
Is it starting to get too hot?
My heart is racing faster than ever.
“Because you are Padfoot and you are my best friend and I mean we all know about your history with girls, and I am me.”
“Moony just because you are you should be the reason” he says.
What the hell is he talking about?
Why does he keep staring at me?
“What?” I genuinely ask.
“Just because you are you should be enough to fancy you, and like you said friendship is the first thing in a relationship so it shouldn't be so hard. And my history with girls doesn’t matter because I can fancy who the fuck I like, boys or girls” He says.
What the actual fuck is happening?
“So just because he doesn’t expect it, it doesn’t mean it can’t be true.” he continues.
“I mean he can think what he wants I don’t care, but I can like whoever I like, boys or girls” he says.
“So you are saying that you can fancy boys just like girls?” I ask.
“Yes Moony, I like boys just like girls”
“And how did you find out? I mean it’s totally okay. I just want to know how did you realized it. If you want to talk about it” I ask.
So when he said he would date someone like me he meant me or someone like me? No I shouldn’t think about that, it’s not possible, it doesn't matter how much he says otherwise.
“Well I don’t know the exact moment I realised but I don’t care if I go out with a boy or a girl, to me it doesn’t matter” he says.
“Now Moony sorry but I have to go, if I’m late at Quidditch practice Prongs will kill me” and so he leaves.
What the hell is happening today?
Sirius Pov
“PRONGS” I keep screaming while going to the Quidditch practice.
“PRONGS WHY DO I HAVE THE ABILITY TO SPEAK?” I ask.
“Pads calm down, what the fuck happened?” he asks all preoccupied.
“I might have told Moony that I do fancy boys and girls and i might have said that it wouldn’t be so strange if I liked him”
“You did what?”
I told him the whole story, when we talked yesterday, today at the library and what Lockhart said and what I said and everything that happened after.
“Prongs, why am I such a mess?” I say at the end.
“Pads you’re not a mess, you are in love even if you don’t want to acknowledge it in that way, it is like that” he says
How can I be in love?
Mother always told me that love was a weakness and that I would have never felt it because I am a Black.
I don’t know what love it’s supposed to be like; I grew up with hate and resentment, no one ever teached me how to love.
I mean I do love my friends but this is different.
How am I supposed to be in love if I don’t know what love is?
I grew up being told that I wasn’t capable of love, and neither that I deserved it.
“Prongs what is love to you?” I ask.
He understands that it’s a serious conversation because he adjusts his glasses and looks up before looking at me again.
“For me love it’s when my parents dance in the kitchen when they think that they are alone and whisper ‘I love you’ to each other. But I also think that love at our age is different, not because we can’t have that, but because we are different. At our age I think it’s more like when I see Lily on the other side of the room and I instantly feel like we are the only one in the room and I can’t breathe because she looks just like her. Even if she doesn’t like me I know what I feel”
“I also think that love is having each other's back and understanding each other in a secret way that no one else can understand. I grew up with my parents loving each other unconditionally. I watched them having a bad day and coming back home and just looking at each other made their day better. I know love when I see it and the way that you and Moony fight all the time and you can say anything, literally, without even thinking those things, with knowing that you can because after ten minutes you won’t be mad anymore it’s a level of understanding that very few people have. The way that you always helped each other silently it’s an act of love. And it is like that, whether you know it or not it’s something that you can’t change” He finishes.
“Damn. Why do you have to be so perfect? Why do you always know what to say?”
"Because I know you Pads and you are my brother and I love you”
I hug him tightly.
“I love you to dickhead” I say
“What should I do?” I ask.
“In my opinion you should talk to him and, it won’t, but if things go badly nothing will change between you two because you are friends, it might be hard to get over him but you will eventually. After all we are the marauders. Now let’s go that we have Quidditch practice.”
What would I do without him?
Maybe he is right.
Maybe I am in love with Moony.
Maybe I can love too.
Maybe I am capable of love.
Maybe my mother is wrong; no I know she’s wrong.
Remus Pov
“Lils I am losing my mind, help me” I say while talking to Lily.
We are in my dormitory while Peter is watching James and Sirius practice.
“What happened now?” she asks.
When I told her the whole story she started to laugh.
“Holy shit you’re so smart, yet sometimes you are so oblivious”. She says.
I am what now?
“What do you mean with that? I am losing my mind. What does he mean? What does he want? Why am I such a mess? Why can’t he be more specific? Why does he have to be so Sirius Black? And why do I have to feel this much?” I desperately say.
Why do I have to be this gay?
“Remus you like him, even though I would use another word but if I do you will kill me so I won’t. I think that you should tell him what you feel. I’m sure it would all go well but even if it isn’t the case, which it is, it won’t change anything between you because you are friends before anything else. You should stop overthinking everything, you deserve to live a little and be happy Remus.”
Tonight I couldn't sleep so I went to the Astronomy Tower and I started to look at the stars. And there it is, Sirius, the brightest star of the universe.
Why does he have to be everywhere? Why does he have to be so shiny?
Not long after I hear steps coming towards me.
“Couldn’t sleep Moony?” Sirius asks.
“No, neither could you?”
“Not really. I was looking for you”
“How did you find me?” I ask, confused.
“I already thought that you would be here but I also checked the map” he says.
Sometimes it scares me how much he knows me.
“Why were you looking for me?”I ask.
“I couldn’t sleep and you weren’t in your bed so I just assumed you couldn’t sleep so I don’t know, I don’t want to be alone and with you I am never alone” he says.
I swear to Merlin that someday he will kill me.
“Well you found me” I say.
“What were you doing?” he asks.
“Just looking at the stars, if you come here you can also see your star” I say as he comes towards me.
“I always liked looking at the stars, I don’t know, it makes me realise that we aren’t alone in the world and that the world is bigger than us” He says.
“We aren’t alone in this world” I say because it is true, the world IS bigger than us.
After saying that I give him a cigarette because I know he is craving for one, especially when he can’t sleep.
“Why couldn’t you sleep?” He asks after a moment of silence.
“Too much thinking. You?”
“Ditto. What were you thinking about Moony?”
You of course.
“I don’t know, the last couple of days have been something. What about you?”
“Same, the last couple of days have been a bit too much.”
We continue to stare at the stars in silence but it’s not awkward, well it never really has been awkward between us.
“Moony I know it’s none of my business but I thought about what you said the other day. About friendship being the most important thing in a relationship. I think that’s why it didn’t work with Lockhart”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You two aren’t really friends, you don’t really know each other, he doesn’t know you” He says.
“Well sorry if I don’t say that I am a werewolf to every person that ever comes near me” I say.
Why do we have to speak about it? It is none of his business just like he said so why do we have to talk about it?
“No Moony, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean that he doesn’t know that regardless of your sweethoot you like your coffee black, that you like all kinds of tea, or that you would eat chocolate at any time of the day if you could. Or that when you’re in the library you prefer to stay in the back because it’s less probable that people will disturb you, or that you are extremely delicate with your hands because you are scared of hurting people or that you have a tattoo. He simply doesn’t know you.”
Looking at him it’s too much right now.
I never thought that people would notice these things about me, especially Sirius.
I want to respond but I can’t even open my mouth and maybe it is for the best because what if I am misinterpreting everything?
What if he is just saying this because he thinks that I actually cared about Lockhart?
We stay in silence for a little bit.
“Moony you never got the opportunity to actually respond to my question” he says with a shaking voice.
And he is shy? And red? Is he anxious?
“Which question?” I ask, finally able to speak.
“Would you ever be with someone like me, Moony?” he asks and he is all red.
Merlin, he is so pretty and fragile it hurts to look at him.
And Merlin I am so fucked.
Well he already said that he would date someone like me so it shouldn’t be too revealing if I say the same thing.
But even if it was too revealing fuck it Lily is right I should tell him and this is the perfect occasion.
Fuck it. Now or never.
“Sorry it was stupid to ask again. Forget I even asked in the first place” he says.
Fuck I waited too long to answer.
“No Sirius. I would. I would date someone like you” I finally say.
And I can see that he is thinking something but I can’t really understand what.
He is overthinking.
Fuck I said too much.
I scared him now.
I ruined everything.
I know I shouldn’t have said it.
“Well I think that I’m going back to bed now” I say.
“Wait Moony” I hear him say as I leave.
“Don’t go, I don’t want to be alone, I want to be with you” he says as he comes towards me.
“You’re not alone Sirius. You never were and you never will” I say.
“Can I do something really stupid?” he asks.
Well I have nothing to lose right now.
“Well it’s your specialty so I’d say yes.”
He comes nearer me and puts his hands behind my neck while he is on the point of his feet.
He is closer than he ever was.
I can see his silver eyes and I could get lost in them forever.
I can feel his breath against my face.
Our noses are practically touching.
“I’d be with you Moony” and he kisses me.
Sirius Black is kissing me.
And I am kissing him.
I put my hands on his tights and he seems to like it.
This could be my new addiction but I’d like to get lost in Sirius Black.
I am having my first kiss.
With Sirius Black.
And he is the one kissing me.
Am I dreaming?
It this real?
I can’t believe that it's really happening.
It doesn't matter how many stars there are in the sky, I have the brightest one in my hands right now and it does feel like we are the only ones in the world.
“Wow” is the only thing that I hear coming out of Sirius' mouth after we kiss.
I just stare at him, with my hands on his tights and his hands around my neck.
None of us is capable of saying anything.
I still feel his lips against mine.
He tasted like coffee and cigarettes.
“Well I guess it wasn't something so stupid after all” he says.
“No, I guess not.” I say.
“Moony, I've been acting so stupid these days. I am sorry.”
“Don't worry Pads, everything is alright” I say.
Actually I wonder if this is something just for this moment or if it's something that will continue to exist tomorrow and the days after.
But till tomorrow we have the whole night and for this time I know that he will be mine.
After one kiss I am already addicted to this drug that is Sirius Black.
We continue to look at the sky and at the stars and we mostly stay in silence but it's not weird or awkward, it's just silence.
Losing myself looking at the stars is nothing compared to losing myself looking at Sirius.
“We should get back to the dorm, Moony. It's late and if none of us sleep enough tomorrow we will be at each other's throats like it happened before” I hear Sirius say.
“Yeah, you're right, we should go” I say a bit reluctantly.
I wonder if it's already over or not.
“Moony, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. What is it?”
“At first can we keep all of this private? Not a secret but private. I don't want the whole school to talk about something that doesn't interest them. Not when we still have to figure it all out.”
And reality hits me.
He wants to keep it going.
He doesn't want the whole school to speculate about us.
I can give him that.
“Sure Pads, all the time you need” I say.
“Just to make it clear, I'm not using you as an experiment or anything. I like you Moony” he says shyly.
And I just kiss him because I can.
I like him so much that it makes my heart explode.
Sirius Pov
“Well I think that I’m going back to bed now” He says.
Why do I have to ruin everything? I stayed silent for too long and now he wants to go back to the dorm.
I have to tell him now or I won’t ever have the courage.
“Wait Moony” I say.
“Don’t go, I don’t want to be alone, I want to be with you” I say while going towards him.
“You’re not alone Sirius. You never were and you never will” Moony says.
“Can I do something really stupid?” I ask.
Now or never. I could ruin everything if I misinterpreted everything but I want to take the risk and accept the consequences.
“Well it’s your specialty so I’d say yes.”
I go in front of him and put my hands around his neck but in order to do that I have to be on the point of my feet.
We’ve never been this close.
Now I could count all of his freckles if I had the time.
His big brown eyes are looking at me curiously.
His stare is too tense, I will melt if I don’t act soon.
Our noses are practically touching.
“I’d be with you Moony” and I kiss him.
I am kissing Remus Lupin.
He puts his hands on my tights and Merlin, I think that I’m going crazy.
His hands are setting me on fire.
Why can’t he keep his hands on my thighs forever?
I can’t believe that it's really happening.
He tastes like coffee, cigarettes and chocolate.
“Wow” is the only thing that I can say.
All the kisses and more that I had before aren’t even comparable to the feeling of kissing Remus.
I just stare at him, I don’t think that I will ever be able to leave him.
“Well I guess it wasn't something so stupid after all” is the only thing that I can say.
“No, I guess not.” he says.
“Moony, I've been acting so stupid these days. I am sorry.”
“Don't worry Pads, everything is alright”he responds.
“We should get back to the dorm, Moony. It's late and if none of us sleep enough tomorrow we will be at each other's throats like it happened before” I say after some time.
“Yeah, you're right, we should go”.
I wonder if he knows that I want this to last and that he isn’t my little experiment.
“Moony, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. What is it?”
“At first can we keep all of this private? Not a secret but private. I don't want the whole school to talk about something that doesn't interest them. Not when we still have to figure it all out.”
I don’t want the whole school talking about us, not now at least.
“Sure Pads, all the time you need”.
“Just to make it clear, I'm not using you as an experiment or anything. I like you Moony” he says shyly.
And with that he kisses me.
I’m not used to say such things but if this is the reaction I might start and never stop.
Remus Pov
“Moony, can you believe that two weeks have already passed?” he says while laying his head on his side of the pillow while looking at me.
“Trust me I can believe it.”
“Pads, do you know where is Moony? I went out for my usual morning run but when I came back he wasn't having breakfast but he also wasn't in his bed, and I don't think that he is in the library. Also, do you know where the map is?” James asks.
Fuck I knew I shouldn't have slept in his bed.
Fuck.
What the hell should we say now?
“I think that Wormtail has the map.”
Sirius says.
He is looking at me like he is expecting me to say something.
C'mon Sirius you are the one who wanted me in your bed you should be the one to say something.
“Ok, thanks. What about Moony?” he continues to ask.
Fuck it.
In a way or in another he will find out eventually.
“James I'm here”
He screams.
“The fuck mate, did you turn into a ghost overnight”
Sirius starts to laugh uncontrollably.
And honestly I can't contain myself either.
Sirius pulls away the curtain.
“No stupid, he is here” he says still laughing.
“The fuck. Why didn't you tell me?” James says.
Well he isn't surprised.
“Moony. Pads. Prongs. Are you okay?” Peter comes into the dorm running.
When he enters he screams.
“Why the fuck are you sleeping in the same bed?” Peter says.
I'd say he is rather shocked.
“Prongs, I saw them together on the map. I thought that something had happened or that they killed each other, you never know with them, and then here they are. The fuck is happening?”
Peter is a bit overwhelmed.
I look at Sirius.
If he wants, I think that we can find a plausible excuse.
“Well guys we have something to tell you.” Sirius says.
“Me and Moony are together” he continues.
And if I wasn't already on the bed I would have fallen.
We have never actually discussed what we are but Merlin I didn’t think he was that serious.
Merlin I could kiss him right now .
“Thank Merlin, Marlene and Mary own me 10 galleons each” Peter says.
“Pete, did you bet on us?” I ask.
“You can bet your wolfy ass I did” he responds.
I can’t believe what I am hearing.
“Pete can you please stop calling names my boyfriend’s ass? Thank you” Sirius says.
I choke myself with my own saliva.
His what now?
“Aww look at them” James says.
“Sirius is already jealous and killed Remus right away, that’s a way of starting a relationship” he continues.
“Well if you please hurry up I want to go to breakfast and I want to have my money if you please want to wear something that isn’t your pajamas.”
“Just wait till I tell Lils that I was right” James says.
At the end we went to have breakfast and James and Peter looked so happy like they were the one in a relationship.
They are walking in front of us so me and Sirius have time to talk.
“So I am your boyfriend now” I casually say.
There’s nothing casual about that.
“Well we certainly can say that we are friends. Why? You didn’t want to? I should have asked you sorry”.
“Ehy ehy, no I want to. It’s just that I didn’t expect it, nothing else. It’s just that you told them, I can’t believe that. I am so proud of you Sirius that I could kiss you right now.”
“So do it, Moony.”
“What?”
“The last two weeks have been the best two weeks of my life and that is because of you. I don’t care if the whole school wants to gossip about us, the only thing important to me is that we know what we are and we know what is going on. I don’t care about them. For me they can say slurs or insult us how much they want because they don’t know anything about us and about our relationship.”
I don’t know what to say.
He is so perfect for me, he’s so good to me I can’t believe that I even deserve him.
The last two weeks have been the best two weeks in my entire life, losing myself in the full moon was nothing compared to losing myself in Sirius Black and his sheets. His perfume is the only thing that I can feel all around me.
The way his kisses are so sweet and at the same time so passionate.
The way we held each other. I will never forget these two weeks.
So I grab his hands.
“Let’s go tell the girls before James and Peter tell it to McGranitt just out of the excitement”
And like that we go to the Great Hall.
And everyone is staring at us but honestly I don’t even care at this point.
And Sirius kiss me. Right in front of everyone.
Just a sweet kiss, nothing more.
I couldn’t ask for something better.
While everyone is looking at us speechless we go to our friends.
“Finally I don’t have to hear Remus speaking about Sirius anymore. I could cry.” Lily says.
“Evans you seem to forget something” Prongs says.
“Okay, you were right and I was wrong. Happy now Potter?”
“You bet I am”
“Marls, we really have to give Pete 10 galleons” says Mary.
“I hate you Pete”.
Yep, these are my friends.
“So no one will say something about how brave we have been”
And of course this is my boyfriend.