Love is Blind

A slamming door woke Remus from his pain induced slumber. He cracked his neck with a heavy wince. Multiple footsteps were stampeding down the stairs, and the noise was still too much for his sensitive years. Of course it was his friends who found him, chained up, dirty, and naked, leaning over himself with labored breath. He sat there, panting like a dog as they took his restraints off. 

But that wasn’t right. 

He’s not at school, wounded on the floor of the shrieking shack as his friends sneak out before Pomfrey could retrieve him. He’s at home, caged like an animal in his basement. They’re not supposed to be there. 

She is. Her soft, barely there, footsteps are kind to his senses, still sensitive so close to his transformation. Where he’d open his eyes into a dark room and be greeted with her smallest of smiles, a cold hand on his shoulders to guide him back to his bedroom. Yet, she’s not there, his friends are. 

Even without opening his eyes he knows the lights are on, they bleed past his eyelids and irritate his grating skull. They argue over each other, throwing one arm around either of their shoulders. He lets them drag him through his home, where he’s unceremoniously dropped onto his couch. 

His bones ache and his joints are stiff. Groaning, his words are incoherent as he tries voicing his needs. Instead he meets with Sirius dropping onto the floor beside him. He tiredly begins explaining operation cheer up Moony, and if he had any energy left in his body, Remus would smack him for the ridiculous plan. 

He’d feel a lot better with his Bowie record filling his room, and her sweet voice singing the notes just above a whisper. A glass of water sitting dangerously close to the edge of his bedside table. He groans again, turning his head further into the couch cushion. 

Sirius doesn’t understand what he’s doing, doesn’t know why it’s as bad as it is. He had to remind himself of this as the other boy called for James and Peter. This wasn’t school, he wasn’t free to tear at forgotten furniture in a shack, he didn’t have his friends to distract him from himself, Pomfrey wasn’t there to litter him with charms that ease the mending of his bones that cause him so much pain. He couldn’t just bounce back to Remus like he so often did in the hospital wing. 

Remus peels his eyes open when he hears a knock at his front door. James is the one to get it, stopping dead in his tracks when he sees her. 

“Remus?” She questions after a minute of silence. Her eyebrows knit together, her voice wavering “What are you doing up?”

James snaps out of it, looks her up and down, takes her in. Takes in the cane, the distance glaze in her eyes, and swallows. He points towards him, unhelpfully. “Remus is on the couch.”

Her head tilts as she folds up her cane, opting to place her hand on the door as a guide. James lets her in and once the door closes neither of them move. 

“Who are you?” She demands. Remus allows himself a soft chuckle that he feels sitting on his lungs. 

“Who are you?” James argues back.

“Sabrina.” But Remus knows she wouldn’t let it go. “Who are you?”

“James,” he finally lets out.

Sabrina nods like it all clicks for her. Remus had told her about them, not that he expected her to remember. But she seems satisfied enough to walk away from him, Peter scurrying out of her way as she walks to him in slow, measured steps. Her shin knocks against the coffee table and she uses it to follow the length of the couch. Sitting on the wooden table without care, reaching out for Remus. He takes her hand gingerly and he’s gifted that beautiful smile of hers. 

“You weren’t downstairs, I was worried.”

He rubbed circles into her pulse point, hoping it calmed her. “My friends came to get me.”

“They’re all here?”

He nodded, as he often did. It’s easy for him to forget to speak, harder for him to actually do so at that moment. 

She sighs, as though remembering how often he needs a few hours to gather his words after a moon. “Then one of them must have gotten you water, you sound awful.”

Sirius scampers off to the kitchen to fulfill that order. Setting the water into Remus' other hand with a pointed look. He introduces himself to Sabrina, a hand extended towards her. 

“Hi Sirius. Is Peter here as well?”

“How do you know about us?” Peter speaks up this time, staring at her in wonder. 

“Remus told me, of course.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing. And it is, because how else would she know their names? “You’re his friends at the magic school? No?”

“It’s funny you know all that,” Surius started, and Remus knew something awful was about to come out of his mouth but he wasn’t quite sure his voice could support the amount of damage control he’d have to muster. Instead he resigned himself to Sirius’ words, which were shamefully true. “Cause Remus never mentioned you.”

To her credit, Sabrina didn’t give an indication that it bothered her. Her hand squeezing Remus’ wrist as though assuring him she’s okay. Her free hand crawls its way from his shoulder to his forehead, he leans into the touch, flushing despite how often her hands found their way to his skin. 

“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?”

He nods, whispering a quick, “Yeah.”

Gingerly, she helps him sit up and eventually get to his feet. He leaned heavily on her as he guided them down to his bedroom, where he’s finally able to crawl under his fluffiest blanket, and curl into a pillow. She kissed the side of his head, “Get some rest.”

So he drifts to sleep, his worries faded knowing Sabrina was right there, setting up his record player. 

When he wakes hours later, his body still aches but it’s enough to manage. He stretches in his bed, his room empty and quiet. After dressing himself, he braced the hardwood in search of Sabrina. His hazy memory of the morning is enough for him to worry, because if she wasn’t there with him, that meant she was out there with the marauders. He can only assume it really happened, them all meeting.

For the sake of his head, Remus hopes they’re not pestering her about her existence, or worse her knowledge of Remus. He could imagine it as he walked down the hallway, it only seemed to expand with his imagination. Asking her questions about how she knew, worse about what they were. He isn’t sly, he knows Sirius figured out why she was kept a secret from them as soon as he asked that damn question. 

Wincing, he grabbed onto the wall as a stabbing pain shot up his leg and settled in his knee. How he hated the morning after, filled with misery and sorrow. 

When he finally made it to the living room, his friends were all chatting happily about Quidditch, explaining it in great detail for Sabrina. It’s worse than his mind could think of, they were actually getting along. Selfishly, he wanted to seal Sabrina back into secrecy. Keep her for himself a little bit longer. Stretch out his last summer before returning to Hogwarts with moments filled with just them. Like the times Remus would read to her, or mornings like these, which were awful but seeing her made it so much better. 

“Hey,” he says, waiting for his friends to bombard him with questions. But they seemed satisfied to continue on in their conversation, offering him a wave in response. He sat beside Sabrina, grabbing hold of her knee. He chose to ignore the pointed look James was giving him, and the wiggling eyebrows Sirius decided was fit. 

Sabrina turns to him instantly, hand on top of his. “How could you have never told me about Quidditch? It sounds incredible.”

“I'm not much for sports.” He chuckles. 

“The next book we read must be this Quidditch History James recommended.”

He nods, “I'll be sure to borrow it sometime.”

The day was wonderful. Certainly not what he dreaded in his head. Her existence so easily meshed into the Marauders that he could forget they’d never met before. James was just happy to go on about Quidditch, and Peter was happy when the rest of them were. But he dreaded the smirk and side eyes Sirius would give him. It was full of you thinking you're getting out of this amusement. 

Sabrina bid them goodnight as the sun began to set, leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss to Remus check. “Keep them in line, yeah?”

“Sure,” he coughs , his face flushing deeply. Even though she can’t see the way his fingers graze over his check as she pulls away, his friends can. And they can both hear their laughs dying to break free. 

When the front door closes Sirius jumps into the seat beside him. “She knows you're a werewolf,” is the first thing he says. Stated exactly how it is, as a fact. “Consequently, she knows we’re all wizards.”

Remus is too tired, too overwhelmed, to respond so he nods. A simple agreement because it’s true, they all saw her, heard her, it would be incredibly stipid to deny it. 

“Moony,” James whines. “You have a girlfriend and you didn’t tell us!”

He sighs. “We’re not together.”

“Then why’d you tell her the truth?” Peter cuts in. 

“Because,” the words lose him. Because he didn’t know, because she didn’t need to know but she did. “She’s been my neighbor for years, I’ve known her since she moved in eight years ago. I wanted to show her magic before she’d never see it again.”

Silence settles over the room. Uncomfortable and long, he shifts in his seat because they’re never quiet. Not even in their sleep. 

He couldn’t fathom what he did wrong, but he’s filled with guilt regardless.

“That doesn’t explain how she knows your a werewolf.”

He shrugged. “She found me one day, tied up in the basement. She took care of me after, helped me, never even asked what happened just that I was safe. So it sort of came out.”

Remus wished he could shrink into himself. Stray away from the pointed gazes of his friends. Wanted beyond anything that this awful feeling settling in his chest would go away. He didn’t want his best friends to be mad with him. 

Then Sirius started laughing, wiping away an invisible tear. He missed whatever grand speech Sirius recited, too relieved by his friends' dramatics. 

“Merlin, that's just like you Rem.” Sirius laughed. “You’re down bad.”

Remus flushes. “It doesn’t matter. She’s not interested.”

James smacked his shoulder, wincing along with Remus when he realized he’s still sore. “I don't know what show you were watching but she seemed interested mate. And you got the hard part out of the way already.”

“You really think she’d want me? I’m a monster and a freak!”

Sirius shrugged. “Maybe she’s into that.”

Promptly, Remus threw a couch pillow at his face. Maybe, just maybe, he had a point.