Thrown into the Deep End

His home was a mess. A complete utter mess. Cups were scattered around the kitchen table and the counters. Tiny little clothes littered the floor. It not only upset him but made him have that gross crawling feeling as well, which was why he was sitting at the table not doing anything about it.

Oh Merlin’s beard his house had never been so messy. At least not since he was a child living there. Though he much preferred having to check his footing to not step on a toy then a broken glass shard.

This was his life now. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it as he sat in one of the clean chairs watching the chaos. He supposed it could be worse.

Who was he kidding he was living with two six year olds! He was twenty-seven! Raising two children was not how he wanted to spend his late twenties.

Albus just threw this all upon him like he didn’t have anything better to do (He didn’t, not really) This past week had been very eventful and not the good kind.

“Severus, please. The boys have no where to stay. After the Malfoy’s were incarcerated they left Draco to you!” Albus exclaimed.

As usual Lucius’ incompetence struck again and his home was raided revealing the many highly dangerous artifacts he kept within the walls of Malfoy manner. As well as a few letters he had exchanged with fellow death eaters about their plans to carry on torturing muggles and muggle borns. Many others at the ministry were practically jumping for joy when he was put in Azkaban along with his wife. The trial wasn’t for another few months but Snape already knew the verdict.

“Draco is not the issue! Why are you entrusting me with Potters spawn?” He was exasperated. A person he hated and who loathed him his entire time at Hogwarts’ child had to be in his care!? Was this just another slap in the face by life! What in the fresh hell was this Albus!

“The Dursleys are mistreating him.” Albus said slowly and Severus stopped pacing and stared. Mistreating? No-no he couldn’t mean what he thought that meant..no.

“You mean- Albus really?” He asked and Dumbledore nodded.

“They kept him locked in a cupboard even though they had a perfectly fine second bedroom for him. I had Madam Pomfrey check him over and he had severe bruising on his little back. The bruises were ugly. Some were purple and others were a greenish color. Severus you should have seen his little eyes..he was so happy to leave them.” The usual twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes was not there. He couldn’t believe this.

Snape knew that Petunia was a no good, horse faced, stupid hag. But he would never think she could be this cruel. A cupboard..really? A damn cupboard! Snape wanted to throw something across the room and have it smash into a million pieces. He just stared at Albus he was now certain he’d take the boys in. He nodded with determination.

Little did he know that nod he made in a spur of the moment thing that was purely led by his emotions and not his head (which did not happen often) would seal his fate as guardian to two young boys who had more baggage then any other 6 year olds out there. Snape had his own problems to work through he didn’t understand himself and why he did certain things and now had to try and figure out how to take care of their emotional needs? In the first day he figured out a few of the more major problems regarding the boys.

Malfoy was very spoiled. He didn’t fully understand why his parents were gone and why he couldn’t get everything he wanted. It also seemed Malfoy’s were indoctrinated early with the ideology that Muggles and Muggleborns were all inferior to Pureblood. That was something that had to change. The last problem which he knew wasn’t a problem to anyone but him was that the boy was so easy to bring to tears whether it be tears of sadness or anger.

It was terrifying for Snape he never expressed too much of his own emotions as he felt better bottling them up and staying in control but to see how Malfoy’s little face would screw up and turn red. It was horrible. It was even worse when he’d start to wail and the tears pooled down his cheeks. It was as if there were two waterfalls in the boys eyes. Severus was not proud to admit he froze on the spot and watched for a solid ten seconds before he even attempted at trying to comfort the boy.

Draco missed his parents especially his mother which was something Harry didn’t relate to. Now Potter was much different from Draco but that did not make him any less of a handful.

Potter had wanderlust much like his father. Though James had it through arrogance almost like he could conquer any ground he walked on, Harry on the hand just wanted to see everything. He was too curious for his own good. Always poking and peering. It wasn’t too bad when he could see the boy.

The boy hid. Both figuratively and the literal sense. Severus once scoured his whole house turning everything upside down, having a minor panic attack, tried to get in contact with Albus and Minerva (Neither of them answered) looking for the little boy to only find he was out hiding in a bush in the garden. Staring at the worms no less. Revolting.

Though Snape rather have him physically hide then bottle himself up. He tried to hide what he was feeling and try not to cry when he got upset, it was heartbreaking to see someone so young do so. It reminded Snape of himself and he couldn’t have that.

It was even worse when he’d see those same green eyes look up at him sadly. It was just like her eyes. Those were precisely her eyes. In the light they were electric and gorgeous giving life to everything they looked at. In the dark, only illuminated by a candle they were like emeralds. Gorgeous stones that needed to be treasured not harmed. Those eyes weren’t made to cry.

Snape made it a point to try to keep both boys happy though he was afraid he was wearing himself too thin. That gross crawling feeling that made him feel like he was going to have a mental breakdown was appearing more frequently. He bottled that up though. He couldn’t let that control him. He was now a caregiver to these boys. He needed to show them, Albus, all of the other Professors at Hogwarts who were doubting him, and even himself that he could do this. He was going to be good at this. He had to be.

He was pulled out of his thought when a little hand tugged his shirt. “Severus can I have a biscuit?” Harry asked so quietly like he was embarrassed to even ask. Snape nodded and handed him a chocolate biscuit that the boy had taken a liking too. Just then Draco ran in. “I want one too!” He complained his hands reaching out to the box. The boy was like a pigeon always scavenging.

“No.” He said simply putting the box away into the cabinet. “How come Harry gets one?!” Malfoy pouted. “Because that was his first one and you’ve already had four.” He sighed. “He also asked nicely.” Snape said offhandedly not that Draco heard. Immediately the little boy collapsed to the floor and whined.

Snape huffed watching both boys. Harry just ate his treat quietly while he stared down at Malfoy, puzzled.

Once Harvey finished he tugged on Snape shirt again and whispered. That was his way of talking to him. “Can we play?” The little boy asked pushing his glasses up. Snape nodded and took his hand, pulled up Draco who was still lying on the ground. “You can pretend to be a rug later.” He said sarcastically to the blonde boy.

All of them laid on their stomachs in the living room as they played with a mixture of dinosaurs and dragons.

“Dragons are way cooler then..Dinos!” Draco said picking up the Hungarian Horntail figurine and holding it up. “They breathe fire!” Draco stated.

“Nuh-uh! Dinos are cooler, see this one has a long neck!” Harry argued pulling up the figurine of the dinosaur. The two got into a very childish argument on which was cooler. Severus sighed.

“They are both equally cool.” Snape drawled. He thought both of the toys were very cool because he did not have to pay for them. Albus gave him a bit of money to pay for a few things like clothes, toys, and other necessities.

The three of them played together. The two boys making the ‘roaring’ sounds of both the Dinosaurs and Dragons. Snape couldn’t believe this was his life now. It was only a few years ago he was a death-eater-turned-spy. Risking his life during a cold war. Now he was listening to little boys argue about toys.

It was refreshing though. They made him relax sometimes. Nothing was ever that serious with them. The biggest disagreements the three of them had was bedtime. Nothing was life or death it was..relaxing. Not that this was a walk in the park for Severus but he couldn’t complain too much about it.

Speaking of Bedtime that was the exact time it was. He was a fool though, he made a vital mistake..he announced it. “Bedtime.” At those words Harry immediately fled and Draco started to roll on the floor and whine loudly.

Snape picked Draco up as the little boy whined. It didn’t take long before he found Harry hiding in a corner. Trying to make himself seem smaller. He picked the other little boy up as well. He made both of them use the toilet before they went to sleep. Not that it stopped them from wetting the bed from time to time.

Both boys had nightmares. About very different things. The latest dreams was Harry’s memories about the Dursleys and Draco was being chased by a giant toaster oven. Both were horrifying. Dry humor of course. That’s how Severus handled any situation, with dry humor.

Both boys were helped into the pajamas before tucked into bed. This process was hard as they stalled. The one time they worked together was when trying to evade going to sleep. Draco asked for more stories and Harry pretended to need the bathroom multiple times.

Eventually they were both tucked safely into the bed. He left the night light on before closing the door. He looked at his home and frowned deeply. It was so unbelievably messy. But he was now too tired to clean. He was really bad at this caregiver thing. (Or so he thought.)

He entered his own room and got into his grey night shirt that was now fraying. He then laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and he immediately fell asleep. He hadn’t been getting much rest due to the boys. He couldn’t sleep all the time anymore only waking to brew potions. He now had to take care of children.

He was only asleep for two hours until he heard a banging on his door. He shot up immediately. His instincts kicked in and he got his wand and headed for the door ready to attack before he remembered he had too little kids who were having nightmares. He opened the door to see Draco crying as his fists were still up ready to pound on the door again and Harvey who was shaking like a leaf.

“Can we sleep with you?” Draco asked and Severus nodded sighing deeply as he allowed the boys entry into his room. They immediately found spots on the bed as Snape closed the door.

“Did either of you wet the bed?” He asked before getting into the bed as well. Both boys blushed but shook there heads. Snape had to ask. They had wet the bed 3 times this week. He sighed as he settled himself. Both boys clinged onto him and he patted there heads.

His biggest worry was that he would be no good at this and the children would hate him. It was a pretty natural fear considering how he grew up. Unloved, neglected, harmed. His biggest fear was turning into his father. An angry drunk who was violent. Though something the children helped him see was he wasn’t good at parenting but the children loved him. For some odd reason they loved him.

He desperately needed a nanny, that would have to wait but at least it was alright taking care of the children. He may have been thrown into the deep end by Albus but both of the kids kept him a float. He wrapped his arms around them and slowly they all relaxed. Which was good because they’d need their rest for tomorrows challenges. None of them thought of that now though, and soon they all fell into a dreamless sleep resting within the comfort of each other.