The Ink of Your Heart

James didn't see Sirius until after lunch, which happened to be their first class with the Slytherins: Potions. Aside from that, they also shared Defence Against the Dark Arts, and Care of Magical Creatures. Which meant that Sirius would see his sister for about eleven hours a week.

It seemed like a lot, but James could understand why Sirius was so upset. The transition from seeing one another eleven hours a day to that same amount dispersed through five days must be harsh.

Sirius wasn't present for breakfast, but other than that, he didn't miss out on much. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw first-years started with two excruciatingly long hours of History of Magic given by a ghost. James's energy drained with each spoken word until his head dropped on his bench and he drifted to sleep.

History was followed by a thirty-minute break after which they had an hour of mathematics (which was the only Muggle subject given at the school along with Latin) with the Hufflepuffs, followed by a free hour of which they had three a week.

James was rather content with his timetable (which he shared with Peter and Remus and Sirius). They had eight classes of an hour every day, except Wednesday which only had four classes and a free afternoon.

Surprisingly, Sirius didn't show up for lunch either and it wasn't until Peter said anything that James noticed that Koronis wasn't there either.

"Maybe they're hanging out," Peter suggested.

No one contradicted or contributed to the theory, so they left it at that.

After lunch, they used the map that was given to each first-year (and that James caught some second-years with) to navigate to the dungeons.

A group of segregated students (red and green) were hanging around in the corridor. James looked for Sirius but without success.

Once the professor arrived, the students shuffled into the classroom. As the professor prepared the class, the students roamed around. The large dungeon was sectioned into two rooms. One where the lectures were to be held and the other where the experiences were to be conducted. They were connected by a storage room presumably filled with ingredients and scary eyeballs in liquids and whatnot.

The lecture room, as James started referring it to, was like every other classroom. Five long, dark-oak tables were placed back to back. The professor's desk was stashed in a corner where they had a full view of all the students. In the front there was a large blackboard with the chalk remains of previous classes blotted on it.

Large racks filled with potions and empty glass bottles and dusty books were pushed against the cold stone walls. Lit candles were floating around, (poorly) illuminating their desks.

James, Remus, and Peter sat in the back row where James could mess around to his heart's content.

"Good morning students!" The professor chimed joyfully. He went to stand behind the lectern. He was young and cheerful as if every day was his birthday. His short blond hair was tamely brushed back and he wore rather conservative robes. He started calling people's names and then checking their names with a big, fancy black quill.

He called the Blacks and the room fell silent.

When he was done, he granted them a friendly smile. He turned his back to the class and used his wand to orchestrate a chalk writing his name.

"My name is Horace Slughorn, but to all of you, it will be Professor Slughorn. Or you can call me Horace, whichever you prefer," Professor Slughorn said, his smile seeming to hang perpetually on his face. "Welcome to your first year of Potions. We will be seeing each other four hours a week if I'm not wrong."

A wave of brief mutters and head nods washed through the room.

"Great!" Slughorn exclaimed. "This year we'll be focusing on the source of the colour, smell, and taste of potions. We'll be starting with some good old theory. So, please take out your—"

Suddenly, the door of the dungeon creaked open, and the shrill sound sliced through the air uncomfortably.

Standing at the door were Sirius and Koronis Black. Cheeky grins decorated their faces as they walked into the class and occupied the two remaining seats next to their two friends. Evan and Pandora Rosier, James recalled.

Slughorn smiled in an attempt to mask his annoyance. "You must be Sirius and Koronis Black I take it since you're the only ones not checked as present on my list."

"Sorry, professor," Koronis said kindly. "It won't happen again."

Slughorn opened his mouth. He shut it as fast before smiling again and quickly introducing himself to the twins.

As Slughorn went back to resuming the contents of their first semester, James looked at Sirius, nagging at his attention with his stare. He even whispered his name but that still didn't get him to acknowledge James.

"Why is he ignoring me?"

"Don't mind it, James," Peter said as he flipped through the pages of his Potions book. "Maybe he just wants to be with his sister without you hovering in his ears."

James shook his head, dismissing Peter's last words. "He's ignoring us because he's ashamed of us. He's just a hypocrite. They all are."

"Wow, that's a very intense take, James," Remus remarked. "Peter is probably right."

"He saw his sister last night," James mumbled.

"You're overanalyzing it," Peter said. "Sirius is our friend. He signed the Fab Four contract."

Remus sniggered. "The name still sounds so stupid."

"It's not! I promise you'll grow to love it," Peter claimed.

James nodded. "I like the name. It's funky."

"Fabulous," Peter added.

"Phenomenal," Remus finished.

"Phenomenal isn't with an F," James remarked.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not," Peter said. He dipped his quill in some ink and spelled the word out.

"Aren't you a bookworm?" James asked. "You're supposed to be good with words!"

"Gentlemen," Slughorn exclaimed, looking at the three boys. "Please remain quiet until the end of my explanation, then you can chat to your heart's content. Thank you."

When Slughorn went back to talking, James nudged Peter. "He's a weirdo."

Peter snickered and Remus told them to shut up and listen.

He explained the different kinds of ingredients and which ones to mix and which ones to avoid in one cauldron. They also saw how to acquire such elements through such ingredients.

Slughorn wrote the pages to consult on the blackboard and told them they'd experiment for this trimester.

"The best way of learning is through mistakes," Slughorn claimed.

They were to pair up and make ten potions with different colours, taste, and smell, and write an essay about them. They had one of the four hours a week to work on it, the other three hours would consist of more theory to know.

"I'm pairing up with Pete," James said quickly. "I don't trust someone who can't spell phenomenal."

"I can write phenomenal," Remus hissed, grumpily. His eyes scanned the room only to end up in the air. "Fine, I'll find someone else."

Slughorn told them to be quiet. "I'll be pairing you up. A Gryffindor with a Slytherin, yes. Creating strong bonds with all houses is very important, you see."

A wave of groans and whispering complaints crashed into the dungeon.

"Now, now," Slughorn hushed. "You'll be pulling a name out of the hat and pair up with the assigned pupil."

Slughorn walked to his desk and revealed two fancy, maroon hats with golden feathers and ribbons. He respectively stuck his hands in them and with a proud grin pulled them back out.

"Marlene McKinnon and Severus Snape," Slughorn announced.

Marlene, sitting a row in front of James, sighed loudly as she slumped over. Lily whispered some words of encouragement which seemed ineffective.

He repeated the process. Remus got paired up with Helene who had Muggle braces on her teeth, and Peter's partner was Evan Rosier. Poor fella, James thought.

Finally, his name was called. "James Potter with Koronis Black."

James's face dropped. He snapped his head in Koronis's direction who, just like Marlene, took a deep breath.

Sirius on the other hand was paired with Dorcas Meadowes, who both seemed pretty unhappy about their situation.

Slughorn's hats were emptied and he cleared his throat to gain the attention. "These will be the pairs for the semester, and don't even think of changing because I've got them all written down!"

Most students were still complaining and Slughorn chased them to the stations. James and Peter dallied in the back as their peers looked for a station.

Peter and James were mainly avoiding their alone time with Evan and Koronis for as long as they could, which was depressingly short.

Remus on the other hand kicked it off quite nicely with Helene. They had found a station in the back of the class and talked heartily to one another.

"Maybe we should just pair up," James suggested, his eyes fixed on Koronis. She was huddled with her brother and the Rosiers at a station, likely doing what they do best: spewing their hatred.

"Yeah, I like that idea," Peter said.

Most students had settled and were already making awkward small talk with one another. Dorcas was also seated. She was holding her head up with her palm, and she kept sighing as her gaze lingered on Sirius.

James shook Peter by the shoulder and said, "Come on."

He walked over to the station behind Dorcas and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hello."

Dorcas frowned. "Hi."

Peter just waved shortly.

James sat down, facing Dorcas. "Why are you sitting alone? Who are you paired up with?"

A loud sigh came from Dorcas as she rolled her eyes. "Sirius Black. He thinks he's too cool to be paired with me."

"I'm paired up with his equally entitled sister," James said. "I think she's thinking the same way about me."

"I'm paired up with their friend," Peter added. "He's probably also thinking I'm a complete loser."

Dorcas chuckled. "Guess we're all out of luck then. I'm Dorcas, but my friends call me Cas." Dorcas held out her hand and James shook it.

"James." He offered her a friendly smile. "My friends don't call me anything else."

Peter introduced himself as he shook her hand. "My friends call me Pete."

"Nice to know not all Gryffindors despise Slytherins," Dorcas said.

"Nice to know not all Slytherins despise Gryffindors," James replicated, earning a playful eye roll from Dorcas.

"Aren't you friends with Black? Sirius, I mean," Dorcas asked.

James shrugged and Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"Like you said, he's entitled," James said. "I'm not friends with slimy pricks."

"I saw you guys at dinner yesterday," Dorcas said. "Well, everyone saw. It was kind of the hot topic at our table. Mulciber wouldn't stop crying about how much of a disgrace it was of Sirius to talk to 'your kind'."

"Who's Mulciber?" Peter asked.

James scoffed. "Whoever he is, he has a slimy name."

It wasn't until Slughorn walked into the room that Sirius and his friends went to sit with their respective partners. Peter went to sit where Evan was seated which was on the other side of the room next to Marlene and Severus.

Dorcas flashed James a grin as Sirius sat beside her with his head turned away from her.

"This will be the experiment for this semester," Slughorn explained as he passed around bundles of parchments. "The instructions are all in here. If any questions come to mind, ask away."

Slughorn's eyes scanned the room before falling on Lily. "Miss Evans, Lily, would you be as kind to be my eyes as I work on the other side?"

Lily nodded shyly. James flashed her an evil grimace, promising her he wouldn't make it easy on her. She narrowed her eyes before turning back to the Slytherin boy she was working with.

James picked up the bundle and skidded through the pages. When he looked up to start the fire for the cauldron, Koronis had disappeared.

Dorcas noticed his puzzled look and nodded toward the storage room. She was also getting their cauldron ready. "They went together."

By the time James had read the entire bundle twice, the Blacks came back. Their hands were full of glass bowls and little boxes and their mouths were full of laughter. Even their smiles were oddly similar. The edges curled identically and their eyes wrinkled similarly. As soon as Koronis caught James looking at her, her smile faded.

She placed the ingredients in the middle of the table. "Did you read it yet?"

James, surprised by the lack of attitude in her voice, nodded. "The cauldron should be hot enough."

Koronis hummed. She placed her hand above the cauldron before reading the bundle again. "I propose we start with analyzing the taste."

James nodded again as if he felt like he had any say in it. Would she even acknowledge it if he disagreed? No, he guessed.

They worked pretty quickly. Koronis proved a preceding knowledge with potions and brewing them. She mixed and added ingredients unhesitatingly and it didn't even cause an explosion. James hated to admit it, but he was impressed.

"How are you so good at this?"

Koronis didn't acknowledge James's question at first and kept staring at the bubbling potion before muttering, "I just am."

James rolled his eyes. He turned to Peter, who was trying to make himself as small as possible. His arms were hugging his torso and he held his head down, pretending to read the instructions as Evan executed them.

Boredom hit James like a fierce wind. No one's potion had exploded yet and the class was way too calm. James looked over to Lily again. She was working hard, occasionally throwing an apprehensive glance across the room.

Coming up with a stupid joke, James pulled out his wand and secretly pointed it at Lily's station. "Accio, bat spleens!"

The jar slowly moved towards James and after careful work, James managed to pull it off the station. A wicked grin clothed him as the jar surely made its way to him.

"James!" Koronis exclaimed. James jolted, which made him lose control of the jar. It broke a part in a million pieces and slimy bat spleens laid in a puddle at Pandora Rosier's feet.

"What?!" He snapped back.

"Can you focus here please?" Koronis asked. "What are you even doing?"

"You seem to be doing fine without me," James said, purposely not facing her. He watched Lily mutter worriedly as she looked for a sweeping broom. Marlene helped her out with the wick of her wand.

"Whatever," Koronis said. "Do whatever you please."

Koronis didn't bother James for the rest of the hour. They (Koronis) managed to finish their first potion and bottled it. Afterward, Koronis and Sirius left the station while James and Dorcas went back to the lecture room.

"And?" James asked as he watched Dorcas pack her stuff. "How was it? I was too busy ignoring Koronis to observe you."

"It went quite alright actually," Dorcas admitted. "Sirius is actually really nice."

James shrugged. Sirius had been nice to him too, and now look at them. Why was he nice to Dorcas but not to him? The question resulted in another load of bitterness rather than an answer.

"How about you and the she-Black?"

James giggled at the name. "It was whatever. She truly hates me, you know. When I met her on the train she called me a blood traitor, you know."

"At the end of the day she's still a Black," Dorcas said as she shouldered her bag. "I'll see you and Pete around then."

James watched Dorcas leave the dungeons before packing his own bag. The rest of the day was a blur. Sirius didn't show up to the other classes. He'd only come for the classes he had with his sister. Dorcas had told James that Koronis was doing the same thing.

The twins wouldn't attend breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Sirius barely spent time in their dorm. When he was there, it was to get his stuff to do in the Slytherin dungeon.

It felt like Sirius had completely disappeared.

Remus and Peter kept on defending him, claiming he missed his sister and friends. James remained mad at Sirius nonetheless.

It was Friday and James had officially survived his first week, meaning he did not get expelled for rebellious behaviour. Yet.

That was something to celebrate. He and Peter and Remus were snacking on his sweets as they talked about a bunch of nothing.

James liked Remus and Peter, as peculiar as they were. Remus had been reading a lot more ever since the phenomenal-incident and kept on asking Peter to spell out hard words he'd encountered in his books. Peter surprisingly never failed to succeed.

Sirius wasn't there for Peter's triumph. His bed was untouched if you ignore all the wrappings they had thrown on his sheets. Best of all, Peter had finally dropped the defensive act on Sirius.

"I suppose we're the Tantalising Three then," Peter said, defeated. "He's the one who's missing out on all the fun! We don't need that stuck-up twat! My sisters call people like him cunts."

"What's a cunt?" James asked.

"Who's a cunt?"

Their three heads turned to the door. In its frame stood Sirius, hair tied up, wet towel on his shoulders, and that ridiculous grin plastered on his face.

"Sirius . . ." Peter mumbled as he sunk into himself.

"Hi." Sirius closed the door behind him before leaning on it. "Miss me?"

James got up. His eyes were narrow with anger and his breath heavy with it. "No, cunt. Go back to the dark hole you slithered out of."

Sirius's grin grew only wider upon hearing the insults. James's anger rose rapidly.

"You have every right to be mad at me," Sirius said. "I won't take that away from you."

"But?" Remus asked.

"There's no but," Sirius said. "I admit that I have been a cunt as Peter so gracefully pronounced."

"I wasn't talking about you," Peter lied.

"We don't want you here," James said.

"I live here," Sirius reminded him.

"I hate you!" James yelled as he stomped over to bed and concealed himself beneath the sheets. "You always ruin everything!"

His chest was aching, unable to contain his feelings. Sirius had no right to be so mean and then walk in as if nothing happened. Something did happen and James knows it because he felt it when it happened.

He had really liked Sirius and still did. Sirius took that and threw it in the trash.

James was so upset he went to bed without brushing his teeth or playing with his Golden Snitch. He was so upset he kicked Peter away when he tried to comfort him.

James was so upset he didn't notice Remus turning off the lights. When he felt calm enough (and when the heat under the sheets became unbearable), he peeked out of the blankets. He couldn't see much, only the darkness.

"I have a confession to make," Sirius said after a little while.

James harshly turned his back to Sirius and grumbled, "Shut up, I'm sleeping."

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"I'll only tell you if you promise not to tell anyone else," Sirius said.

"Promise," Peter and Remus said.

"You too, James," Sirius said.

James groaned.

"Come on, James!" Peter whispered.

"Fine," James grumbled. "I promise."

"Okay." Sirius took a deep breath. "The reason why I ignored you guys is because my parents told me to. Someone told my parents that I was getting too comfortable in Gryffindor and they said I had to rebuke everything that had to do with it. The reason why I wasn't there on the first day was because my parents came to school to talk with the headmaster and told him to put me in Slytherin. Dumbledore obviously said no. I had lunch with my parents and siblings at Hogsmeade. Then my parents threatened me that if I was caught being casual with a Gryffindor by a teacher or a student they'd disown me when I'd be of age."

The room became silent as everyone processed Sirius's confession.

"It's not that I don't like you guys," he proceeded. "Quite the opposite. I liked being part of the Fabulous Four. It was fun."

"Just Fab Four," Peter whispered.

Sirius laughed. "Whatever. I just hope you guys can understand that."

Peter hummed and Remus did too. "We kind of missed you. Peter missed you so much he called you a cunt."

"So you were talking about me," Sirius gasped.

"No!" Peter squealed and a little laugh escaped in between.

"James?"

James didn't answer. He hadn't really formulated one. All he knew was that he was happy Sirius didn't hate him, but he wouldn't give Sirius the pleasure of hearing that. So he shrugged.

"James?" Sirius asked again.

"You could've just spent the nights with us," James answered. "No one here would snitch on you."

"That would've been hypocrite of me," Sirius said.

"Very," Remus attested.

"So, can we go back to being friends?" Sirius asked.

"Yes!" Peter exclaimed. "The Fab Four are back!"

Remus exclaimed in excitement. James remained silent.

A weight fell onto James's bed and slammed its arms around him. "Come on, James, you can't be mad at me forever," Sirius mumbled in his ear.

James kicked Sirius, but the Black didn't move. On the contrary, he squeezed even harder.

"I'll stop being mad at you when Dumbledore eats Merlin's underwear for breakfast," James said.

"Okay, good to know," Sirius said. James didn't have to rely on sight to know Sirius was grinning.

───

James learned too late that his last confrontation with Koronis was her being kind. When they had their next weekly experimenting hour, Koronis didn't acknowledge him at all. She didn't speak to him, look at him, or even breathe in his direction.

Every time he tried to help her out, she slapped his hand away or threatened him with a scalpel. Koronis had forced him into doing nothing.

It got to the point of absolute boredom. James didn't feel like making Lily's ingredients disappear and he couldn't talk to Dorcas either. After Sirius's heartfelt confession (James was still mad) he seemed to have cleared his mind and was being very chatty with everyone, especially Dorcas.

James felt absolutely useless.

"Can I help you out?" James groaned.

"Yes, by sealing your lips," Koronis replied nastily.

"Talk to me at least, won't you?" James continued. "Tell me what you're doing."

Koronis aggressively chopped some vegetables before gently sprinkling them in the cauldron. "Why would I?"

"Because we should be working on this together," James said. "But I'm not doing anything! You won't even let me write the essay."

"Could you please stop whining?" Koronis asked. She picked up a jar and violently slammed it next to James's hand. "If you want to do something, peel these eggs."

James scoffed as he pushed it back to Koronis. "I'm not stupid. I know we don't need those things. We need to extract the slime from the aloe vera and then put six drops of it as we stir then we grate some ginger, bla bla bla."

Koronis didn't answer. She went on and sliced open the aloe vera and let six drops of it fall into their brewing potion as she stirred it.

James let out an annoyed sigh as he turned away from her and watched Dorcas and Sirius work.

Sirius smirked as he looked up to meet James. "Is Nix giving you a hard time?"

"I'm still mad at you," James grumbled. "I want to talk to Dorcas."

Sirius pouted sarcastically before turning to his sister and talking to her in French.

"I guess you hopped off the Black hate train," James said to Dorcas.

Dorcas, who was chopping Mandrake root, shrugged with a smile. "Sirius is a nice guy."

"Koronis is a cunt," James whispered loud enough for only Dorcas to hear.

Once the twins were done conversing, Sirius turned to James and shook his head with feigned disappointment. Otherwise, he redirected his focus to Dorcas and their experiment.

James threw his head back and sighed once again to accentuate his annoyance. Koronis didn't budge and continued stirring and chopping and grating. His foot was jerking nervously.

"Why do you hate me?" James asked suddenly. "What did I do to you for you to dislike me so to the point of torture!?"

For the first time, Koronis stopped what she was doing and turned to face James. "Torture?"

"You've condemned me to boredom because you hate me," James said. "Why?"

"Why are you assuming that I hate you?"

"Who wouldn't assume that?" James asked. "You call me blood traitor on the train and now you're just ignoring me. You're being mean."

"I don't know you," Koronis said, "and I don't want to know you. I don't owe you anything, and if me calling you a blood traitor, which you are, makes you this upset perhaps you should see a therapist."

James's blood started to boil and he got up. "Is that why? Do you hate me because I'm supposedly a blood traitor?"

"I don't hate you," Koronis concluded. "Why would I waste energy feeling anything towards you?"

James was afraid he'd shove her if he stayed a second longer. So, he walked away.

He stayed with Remus and Helene for a little while. He had come to distract himself from Koronis's mean words and chat, but they were too engulfed in their cauldron to even notice James's presence.

He wandered to Lily's table who immediately rejected him with a venomous look. He then found himself at Marlene's table who was too busy arguing with Severus about something insignificant.

Going to Peter wasn't even an option, not with Evan Rosier there.

He went to the storage room and read all the labels on the dusty jars. He, regrettably so, opened some and sniffed. Some he tried to touch. He was familiar with some of the ingredients. He'd read them on the back of prank kits he would get for his birthday. Some he recognized from his father's Potion set. Some he recognised from his mother's kitchen.

Although the storage room wasn't close to his mother's kitchen. The lingering smell of cinnamon didn't hang in every corner and there wasn't the sound of a bubbling stew to excite all his senses.

Instead, a small letter adorned with his mother's neat handwriting would fall on his plate every morning and James would keep them in his bag to read them later. The problem was that he'd forget about the letters. After classes, James just tossed his bag at the foot of his bed and his mind would wander off to something different.

He told himself he'd read the letters that night and write back. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed his parents and home. The homesickness came with the great urge to drop a Dungbomb on someone or make their hair turn into a bright magenta with some elixir or spell.

An idea came to mind and he scoured for all the ingredients he'd need. Arms full of delicate glass and plants, James made his way back to his station. He found a small cauldron somewhere and started a fire underneath it.

"What on Merlin's green earth are you doing, mate?" Sirius asked.

"Still mad at you," James said as he poured milk into the cauldron. "But if you insist . . ."

James whispered his plan in Sirius's ear who in return flashed him a mischievous grin. "Count me in."

"Still mad," James reminded him. "So, no."

Sirius's smile dropped and he rolled his eyes. "Merlin, just let it go. It's been like five months."

James ignored Sirius and continued working on his potion. By the end of the class, he was done and just had to let it simmer for a day. He chose a well-hidden spot in the storage room and left it there.

The following morning was just like every other. It was Saturday and so the Great Hall was more packed than during the week. James got his letter and stuffed it in his bag, reminding himself to write back (he had forgotten to do so yesterday evening).

Peter had sausages on his plate and Remus had bread with marmalade on his. Out of all the delicacies spread across the table, Remus ate bread. James still couldn't quite wrap his head around that.

Sirius on the other hand had a plate being made by Marlene. She was filling his plate full of random dishes until it accumulated into a huge tower of food. From what James understood, Sirius had claimed to be able to eat an entire horse and remain skinny. Marlene didn't believe it and claimed she had to see it for herself.

Suddenly, McGonagall carried her shrill voice through the hall and yelled. "Who did this!?"

All heads turned to the staff's table and silence covered the tables. Under Dumbledore's beard, James saw him smile as he looked down at his plate. Noticing the curious eyes watching him, he picked something up from his plate and proudly held it above his head as if it were a banner.

It was a pair of old, worn yellow boxers. The students roared with laughter. Dumbledore turned the boxers around and revealed a text written on the backside.

"Have fun eating my bullocks, signed by Merlin!" Dumbledore read with a joyous tone.

James turned to Sirius, who had already been watching him from behind his mountain of food with that same smirk. James tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. Sirius smiled wider and shrugged innocently. James couldn't help himself anymore and smiled too.

That day Sirius Black and James Potter became the best of friends, forming an unbreakable bond of which men have and would speak about for centuries to come. Sirius would be the brother James never had, and James would be the brother he wished he could share with Regulus and Koronis.

What James didn't know, was that that day Koronis had wasted her first ounce of energy on James Potter. A deep hatred was brewing inside of her as she watched her twin brother slip through her fingers and right into James's.