The Ink of Your Heart

"I have a confession to make."

The dorm was dark and silent. James couldn't sleep, his excitement overwhelming him. He fidgeted constantly, his sheets feeling uncomfortable on his skin.

"What?" Peter asked.

James smirked. "There's a Dogbreath potion in the Potion storage room."

"I knew it!" Sirius exclaimed. His bed creaked as he sat up.

"What's that?" Remus asked.

Sirius giggled. "It gives you fiery breath."

Remus grunted in confusion. "As in it makes your breath smell bad?"

"No," Peter said. "It makes you breathe fire and it burns your throat."

"How do you know there's Dogbreath potion in the storage room?"

"Because I made it," James said proudly. "And we're going to use it."

Sirius made his wand light up and the four boys huddled together on James's bed. 

"So, who are we pranking?" Remus asked.

James wanted to prank the Slytherins, specifically Koronis, but he knew Sirius wouldn't like that. Besides, he didn't want to make Dorcas suffer with fiery breath.

"Evan Rosier!" Peter suggested. 

"We can't target one person, that's too obvious," Sirius said. "How about we prank all the Slytherins?"

Remus shook his head. "They'll immediately know it's the Gryffindors. If we don't want to get caught we have to handle this carefully. Who has multiple enemies?"

"No one likes the Slytherins besides Hufflepuff," Peter said. 

"We could prank Gryffindor," Remus suggested. "That way they'll never suspect us."

James scoffed. "No, thank you. I don't want to emit fire with each word I speak."

"Me either," Sirius said.

"We could prank the professors," Peter said. "No one likes the professors. And, think about it. If the teachers spit fire, there won't be any classes."

"Pete, you genius!" James exclaimed. "That's wonderful!"

"They haven't found out who put that underwear in Dumbledore's plate yesterday," Peter said. "So, they won't catch us either!"

Sirius and James exchanged knowing glances and snickered. They hadn't told Remus and Peter about Sirius's little stunt.

"Exactly," Sirius exclaimed proudly.

───

Three months had gone and winter had come. It was mid-December and the air smelled of it. The halls had become cold and chilly, the windows were damp with frost, and the Great Hall was infested with Christmas decorations.

Thick snow fell, coating every reachable surface it could. It reminded James of home.

But James wasn't homesick, far from it. He was having the time of his life at Hogwarts. 

He had curiously enough taken a liking to his classes. 

Transfiguration was his favourite because it was what Minny taught. Minny (commonly referred to as Professor McGonagall) was their Head of House and was intelligent. Somehow, someway, she had found out that it was Sirius that put that underwear on Dumbledore's plate at the start of the trimester. 

Her only problem was that there was no evidence besides Sirius and James's mischievous grins whenever she looked their way. Transfiguration was the only time Sirius and James could mess around with her, so it was their favourite class. 

As for his least favourite class, it had to be Potions. It wasn't the long walk to the dungeons or how cold and chilly the classroom became during the winter. Potions had become a class to dread because of Koronis Black. The Black girl had been very distant from the start, but now she was being plain horrid.

She dropped ingredients on him that made him smell like rotting farts all day long, made him do the most boring and pointless things while she kept labelling them as 'necessary', and she would even occasionally cut him with a scalpel or drop a flask of something on his hand. That of course she labelled as an accident and would mutter a quick apology.

He tried to get back to her by spewing snarky remarks about her looks and clothes, mocking her every move, and sabotaging everything she did. 

He threw Dungbombs at her in other classes they shared, hexing her with transforming spells that would make her teeth grow to her feet. Yet none of it had seemed to bother her. Besides, Sirius had explicitly told James to stop humiliating his sister in public. James only did so because Sirius was very upset about it.

Regardless of all of his tyrannies, Koronis Black wouldn't let an hour of Potions stretch without some sort of abuse afflicted onto James. 

It had come to the point he told Professor Slughorn, who had laughed in his face. "Come on, be a man, James. Are you afraid of a little girl?" He had chaffed before completely dismissing him.

After that, James didn't want to get any other teachers involved. He was afraid everyone would take him for a wimp for the next seven years.

Finally, James had turned to Sirius, confiding in him how he was sick and tired of his sister's behaviour. In response, Sirius simply laughed. "You know women," he had said, "always soaking in their feelings for attention."

James doubted Koronis cared much for his attention. Sirius's controversial comment left James feeling no different. He still had cuts and bruises on his skin, and the smell of rot still lingered in his clothes.

All that misery soon dissolved when it was finally time for their great prank. That Monday morning, the last one before Christmas break, was just like any other; the Great Hall was filled with delicious food, cheery ghosts, and grumpy students.

The Fab Four sat on the tip of their chair as they did on the brink of sleep. Their entire night had been sacrificed to plan the perfect prank. Now they waited for their seed to come to life.

"You lot seem tired, all right," Marlene commented. Her mouth was full of chewed sausage and milk, as she looked at Peter who was snoring on Remus's shoulder.

Sirius turned to Marlene and offered her his trademark grin. "I know you are extremely boring and by consequence have none, but try to mind your own business, McKinnon."

"Posh wanker," Marlene muttered.

"Broke cunt," Sirius replied.

Behind all their squabbling and rallies of insults, Marlene and Sirius liked one another. They had grown to be good friends. 

Over the past months, the boys had become close friends with Lily Evans, Mary McDonalds, and Marlene McKinnon. They shared all their classes together and usually ate together at each meal. Curiously enough, Sirius and Marlene always found themselves next to one another when they did.

Besides, Sirius and Marlene were partners for Herbology. This came about because Marlene was late to class, forcing Lily and Mary to partner up.

James and Sirius, on the other hand, were not to be put together because of the many complaints from other professors. So, Sirius found himself with Marlene, and James with Isaac Sommerfeld, some Hufflepuff kid.

James remembered Mary McDonald from the Sorting Ceremony in September. She had walked up there with little confidence and was happier when it was over than she was when she got sorted into Gryffindor. Mary was roommates with Lily and Marlene, which was the foundation of their longtime friendship. 

Their fourth roommate, on the other hand, Olyria Tyrell, hadn't been willing to socialise with the three others. 

Mary was a reserved girl who didn't speak much. She mostly laughed at Marlene's absurd jokes and James's (funnier) jokes. Yet her words were worth pure gold. On the rare occasions that she spoke, it was something to remember. She could make you cry, laugh, be dumbstruck, and utterly disgusted at the same time. It was beautiful.

Then there was Lily Evans. She was a bright girl, disputably the brightest of their year. Lily was pretty and had beautiful green eyes which accentuated her red hair. 

She was eating toast with peanut butter and jelly with orange juice like she routinely (almost religiously) did once a week. 

When James had asked her about her peculiar ritual during breakfast a few weeks back, she had claimed it boosted her brain. 

"Then I guess you are the toast and orange juice to my heart," James had said as he winked at her. 

Lily, amused by James's comment, had giggled and said, "That was the lamest thing I've ever heard," before turning back to Mary and Marlene.

Ever since then, James wouldn't stop bestowing her with homemade pickup lines to make her laugh. Her laugh was sweet and kind, the kind James heard songs about. He liked hearing it.

After a few weeks of constant swooning, Lily had grown tired of it. She was too afraid to say it herself, so Marlene had done it for her.

"She thinks you're a pervert, James. Please stop."

James, determined Marlene and her crude words were trying to destroy the love that was yet to bloom, continued nonetheless.

That morning, James wasn't as determined on feeding Lily inventive pickup lines for breakfast, but on the professors consuming theirs. Breakfast, that is, not James's pickup-lines.

The effects of the potion that the Fab Four spiked their drinks with would take about half an hour to occur, just enough time until after breakfast.

When James was sure all the professors had drunk and pulled a face of disgust within the first sip (the potion tasted despicable), he could fill his plate heartily.

"Lily Flower," James sang. Lily sighed deeply before turning to James, her smile already prepared. Mary giggled behind Lily's back, and so did Remus in Lily's face. "You like that, don't ya? Came up with it just yesterday, yeah. It's because your beauty is like a flower; so wide yet so defined."

Lily frowned before shaking her head. "It gets worse every time. What does that even mean, James?"

"Wouldn't you like to find out, Lily Flower?" James asked with his most prized smile.

"I—I don't—" 

"Stop being a pervert, James," Marlene said. Lily smiled apologetically before turning back to her friends and ignored all the other endearments James threw her way.

Sirius patted James on the shoulder as he usually did to showcase his pity. "Maybe one day she'll fall for your shit," he said.

"One faithful day," Remus added as Peter's curls slid through his fingers. "Carpe diem."

Sirius looked at Remus with curious eyes. "Where are you from again?"

"Solva," Remus answered, "small village in Wales."

Sirius chuckled smugly. "What business does a Wale have knowing Latin?"

They'd never know what business a Wale had knowing latin because someone screamed a very strange thing.

"Dumbledore's beard caught fire!" 

The four boys exchanged knowing smirks before diving into the surprised act. The Great Hall suddenly erupted with laughter and shrieks. Students jumped onto tables to see better, ghosts zoomed around in panic. The other professors tried to calm the students down but fire soared out of their mouth.

Dumbledore tried to say something but he spit fire instead. Judging by the twinkle in his eyes, he must've been laughing. With the flick of his wand the fire on his beard extinguished, leaving nothing but ashes.

Dumbledore looked much younger without his unnecessarily long beard. Even his eyebrows had caught fire, leaving him with ashes all over his face. He took his wand and scratched something in the air.

Lines of glow followed his wand and spelled, 'CLASSES DISMISSED.'

The students cheered roughly. The Great Hall had turned into utter disorder. Professors were steaming from their nose with each breath, some attempting to extinguish their throat with loads of water and spells.

Unluckily for them, Sirius had made sure that the effects of the potion could only be undone by the cure that rested in Pete's pocket. It was trusted onto him for safety reasons; given the fact no one would possibly blame him for that morning's incident.

The Fab Four spent their free time marvellously. They snuck off to Hogsmeade under James's cloak's and restocked their dorm's stash of candy. They then bought Butterbeer from a lovely lady named Rosmerta to whom they drank.

Night had fallen, the boys were back in their dorm and James was drunk on giggles and fun. He felt invincible, like he could leap from the astronomy tower and fly far, far away. 

All those years spent anticipating in his bedroom had been worth it. This was what it was all about; pranking your way out of classes, sneaking out, and eating sweets until your teeth ached with the same three boys you'd be friends with until the end of times.

"I'm hungry," Pete complained. He sat on the floor, leaning against the bathroom door. A handful of candy wrappers lay at his feet, and a mountain of it decorated Remus, who was sitting beside Peter. Somehow they decided to throw their wrappers on Remus who submissive gave in. 

James threw another wrapper at Remus's feet before climbing to his feet. "What you want, Pete?"

"Pie!" Pete answered. "But not just any pie. It has to be one with berries."

"It's like you know my appetite better than I do, Pete," Sirius said. He rubbed his stomach before groaning. "I could use a berry pie."

"Me too," Remus said.

James took the cloak and put on his slippers. He stood at the door and waited for Sirius to get up. But Sirius didn't. He was sprawled out on the floor, playing with James's snitch. 

"Oi, aren't you coming?" James asked.

Sirius groaned as he shook his head. "Sorry, mate. 'M not feeling like it, really."

James rolled his eyes before turning to Peter. Peter shook his head with an apologetic expression.

"Remus?" 

Remus shrugged as he threw a wrapper in the air. "I have a reputation to uphold with the professors. Can't risk getting caught."

"I have an invisibility cloak," James stated. "Or have you forgotten?"

Remus shrugged again.

James threw his head back before swinging the door open. "Heap of ungrateful mates I have."

He swung his cloak over his head before dashing down the stairs and out of the Gryffindor Tower. He slipped past the snoring Fat Lady's portrait and toward the kitchens.

James Potter knew his way through the corridors of Hogwarts like he did through his own home. Finding his way to the kitchen and avoiding professors and Head-students was easy. Not getting caught by Peeves was the hard part.

Peeves was the poltergeist that haunted the halls of Hogwarts. He held no respect for anyone but Dumbledore. The ghost would drop water and scare the life out of students for his entertainment. Worst of all, he was a snitch.

Once, he snitched on James and Remus when he caught them in the kitchens stealing ingredients for their Dogbreath potion.

To James's luck, he didn't come across Peeves. Just as he was about to enter the dungeons to access the kitchens, he saw someone in the corridors.

It was Sirius's sister. She was wearing a black nightgown and her hair was weaved into two long braids. 

James pointed his middle fingers at her from under his cloak. As he did, she stopped in the corridor, a few meters in front of James. 

For a second, James thought she had seen him. He checked that his entire body was covered, which it was. He tried to follow her gaze, which proved easy; she was staring straight at him. 

"What? You scared?" Koronis asked with a raised brow. She crossed her arms over her stomach.

James looked behind him as he prayed she was talking to someone else. There was nothing but moonlight slicing through the darkness behind him. They were the only ones here.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you, Potter."

James grimaced. He pulled his cloak off his head, letting it drape down his shoulders. 

"How did you see me?" 

Koronis looked at him, debating whether that question was worth answering. "Say what you have to say, then."

"What?"

"You flashed me two rude gestures thinking I wouldn't see them," Koronis said with a smug smile. "Probably because you have lots to say to me but no courage to speak. Aren't you a Gryffindor? Isn't courage your sole character trait? Or can't you even live up to that?"

James's breathing grew heavier with each word she spit. It was almost admirable how mad she could make him with something as simple as words. It was as if she laced them with venom.

James tried to maintain eye contact with her, but he couldn't. Those cold, discouraging grey eyes sucked the bravery out of him.

"Shut up. You don't know anything about me," James said as he walked closer to her. She didn't budge, that smirk she and Sirius shared plastered on her face. "I've had it with your bullying. I've been nothing but kind to you since the start and you've been such a bully! You're abusing me, and for what? So you can prove to everyone how scary and mean you are?"

"Abusing?"

James lifted his hands, shoving the back of them in her face. "Look at my hands! They're full of scars and bruises just because you can't take a hold of yourself!"

Her eyes had this saddened look, almost pitiful. For half a second, James thought Koronis felt empathy for him, that she understood the misery she had caused.

The corners of her mouth rose to form that same entitled grin again, causing James's scowl to deepen.

"I've been controlling myself, Potter," Koronis spat coldly. "If I had it my way, I'd push you off the Astronomy Tower and smile as you dropped dead."

James was taken aback by her coarse comment. He didn't know a lot about death. Only that it was a sad thing and that murder was even worse. 

In that moment, he realised how much Koronis truly hated him. He could taste her hatred in his mouth. It was foul and unpleasant and he couldn't help but feel it for her too. 

"You know what? I think if everyone had it their way, you'd do us all a pleasure and push yourself off the Astronomy Tower. One less bully to ruin someone's day."

"Well, isn't it your lucky day?" Koronis huffed. "I was just heading there to kill myself."

"G—Good," James muttered, a bit dumbstruck by her answer. "Die painfully then."

"Sure thing," Koronis answered.

"If I see you tomorrow, Black, I'll punch your lights out after Potions," James threatened. The threat was a bit empty, but at least it was out there.

Koronis nodded, still with that same satisfied smile. "Noted, Potter." 

They stared at one another an instance longer before Koronis's fist abruptly landed in James's stomach. The impact made him doubled over. All the air left his lungs and a pained groan left his mouth.

Before he could recuperate and punch her back, she landed another hit in his crotch with her knee. He let out a huge shriek as he crumpled to the floor, hands holding his damaged parts.

"Fuck you, Potter," she said with as much malice as possible before walking away. 

Fuming, James got up and ran (limped) after her. He left his cloak on the floor, not caring. All he wanted to do was punch her mouth shut. He wanted her to feel his hatred as he had felt hers.

He took his wand and hexed her. "Expelliarmus!" 

She fell on the floor, knees first. She groaned in pain as she turned to face James. She glowered at James before kicking his shins.

She tried to get up, but James kicked her waist. She coughed as she rolled over. James got on top of her and turned her onto her back to face him.

He had seen it done countlessly in movies. Just punch her until she was unrecognisable under own blood. It was easy, she was right there, but James hesitated. 

Koronis saw that and pushed him off with all her strength before running off. By the time James was on his feet, Koronis could've been anywhere.

With bruised shins, damaged balls and an upset stomach, James went back to retrieve his cloak. He got the raspberry pie and went back as fast as he could.

"Where were you?"

"Nowhere," James muttered as he climbed onto Sirius's bed. From across the lake, the Astronomy Tower could be seen. James stared at it, wondering if Koronis meant what she had said. If she did, James should tell Sirius instead of watching it all unfold.

Besides, how could it be true? Koronis was a bully, and bullies don't kill themselves; the bullied do.

Maybe Sirius was right, girls just love to draw attention by soaking in their feelings. It had worked; here James was, making sure Koronis wasn't on the Astronomy Tower, or really to make sure she was. He couldn't decide.

"What are you staring at?" Remus asked.

His eyes were glued to the tower. As much as he would like to, he couldn't look away. What is she . . . whatever. She wouldn't.

There were many other reasons to intensely stare out of the window. The moonlight that surfed on the lake, the mountains in the backdrop . . . If Koronis did jump and die, it would all be James's fault. He would be a murderer.

James groaned. How did she manage to get him to bully himself? She was insufferable in and out of his presence.

"James?"

The three boys gathered at the window, trying to figure out what James was doing.

"Do you think someone of our year could kill themselves?"

"Sorry, what?" Remus said.

Sirius laughed and sighed satisfactorily. "My cousin tried to kill herself when she was ten."

James froze. "Does it run in the family?"

"What? Suicide?" Sirius asked.

"What are you trying to say, James?" Peter asked, worry laced in his words.

"Yeah, you're worrying me, mate," Sirius mumbled. 

"Are you guys seeing that?" Remus muttered. He pointed at the Astronomy Tower. On top of the pointy rooftop sat a silhouette. Its black complexion contrasted with the white snow that coated Hogwarts. Her two braids danced in the wind.

The girl got up, stumbled and almost fell. 

"We need to tell a professor before she falls!" Remus exclaimed.

"Wait . . ." Sirius muttered. He pushed Remus aside to get a better viewer. "That's my sister."

Without saying another word, Sirius stormed out of the dorms.

"I'm going to get Minny," Remus said as he followed Sirius out.

Koronis stood on the edge of the roof. Her arms were spread wide like a bird's wing. She got onto her tippy toes and pirouetted. James's eyes widened with fear. She stretched out a leg, balancing on her other.

"She's dancing," Peter observed. "Oh, Merlin! I can't watch!" Peter turned away and put his hands on his eyes. 

James couldn't look away. 

Koronis had danced her way to the edge and froze for a minute. Then, as if it was the most mundane thing, she turned her face to the sky and fell.

───

Sirius had been in the hospital wing with his sister ever since unpleasant event. Remus came back to the dorm an hour later, explaining everything that had happened.

Koronis was alive. The school had this magic field to avoid exactly these incidents. Since she jumped from pretty high, she was knocked out by the impact. But she was alive and well.

When Sirius saw his sister down there, he thought she was dead. It took Remus, Minnie, and finally a stunning spell to keep Sirius from jumping off.

"She's my sister!" He had screamed in justification. 

Their parents were sent an owl and they were expected to be there the following morning. 

"Where's Sirius?" Marlene asked, nodding at the empty spot next to her.

"He's in the Hospital Wing," Peter said.

"Woke up sick this morning," Remus added.

"This is all my fault," James mumbled just loud enough for Pete and Remus to hear. He stared at his plate of breakfast, untouched. 

It didn't seem like anyone else knew. The Rosier twins weren't there, most likely with Sirius in the Hospital Wing.

Even Dumbledore wasn't present. 

"I admire how unbothered you are to make everything about yourself," Remus laughed. "What happened isn't your fault, James. It isn't anybody's."

"But it is." James sighed as he made sure the girls weren't listening. "When I went to get that stupid pie, I saw her. She saw me, too."

"How? Weren't you invisible?" Peter asked.

"That's what I thought, but she still saw me. I told her to stop her bullying and then she told me that she wanted to kill me. So, I told her to do everyone a favour and throw herself down the Astronomy Tower."

"James!" Remus hissed.

"I didn't think she'd actually do it!" James exclaimed.

"Is that why you ran to the window to make sure she didn't?" Remus asked sceptically. 

"No, I—"

"Sirius can't know of this," Remus said. "He'll kill you."

James groaned pitifully. "I know."

Peter made a quick sandwich and stuffed it in James's hand as he got up. "We've got class. No more fiery breath to stop that."

"James, you watching the Slytherin-Hufflepuff game Friday?" Marlene asked.

"Not now, Marlene," James blurted as they walked past the girls. As suspected, she muttered insults behind his back until they were out of the Great Hall.

Suddenly, James came to a halt. "We should go and visit Sirius." 

"Ooh, no," Remus said. "His parents are there."

"I have an invisibility cloak," James stated.

"Which Koronis could see through," Remus reminded James. "We don't know why nor if her parents can see through it either."

"Sirius can't see through it," James said.

Remus, as long as he was, placed his hand on James's head and ruffled his hair. James hated when he did that. It reminded him of his father in the worst way possible. 

"Just let it go, mate. It's alright," Remus said.

"Nothing about this is all right," James exclaimed. "I told a girl to kill herself, and she did."

"Well, she's right there if that'll make you feel better," Peter said, pointing behind James.

James had made various versions of Sirius's parents in his head, and none had been able to capture the amount of importance and intimidation they radiated.

The mother was tall and slender. She wore black robes that draped elegantly against her figure. Her black hair was gracefully managed into a bun. Her cheekbones were set high and her cheeks sunk deep. Black diamonds and jewels decorated her ears and neck, beaming their riches. 

The woman held her head up high as she strutted through the corridors. It reminded James of Koronis walking up to sit on the stool as her dead, grey eyes stared into the void.

Their father was as intimidating. He too wore black robes. Fierce eyebrows crowned his eyes, and a neat beard accompanied by a curled moustache occupied his lower face. His lips were pursed in disappointment, or regret. James couldn't tell, but whatever it was, it wasn't good.

Koronis and Sirius walked between them. They were the spitting image of their mother in one moment and of their father the next. It was quite unsettling.

James wanted to see how Sirius was doing, but Sirius held his head down, only presenting his black curls. 

Koronis on the other hand held her head up with pride, looking down at all the students. She must've felt powerful showing off her family, prancing around the halls of Hogwarts with their silk robes and obsidian crystals. 

The hallway's usual buzz died down to whispers wherever the family passed. Some even bowed, which James giggled at. It made him think of Severus Snape.

Peter was right; seeing her (alive) made him feel a lot better. She was much paler, but she seemed just fine. James supposed even death couldn't brush away the look of pride.

When the family walked past them, Sirius nor Koronis looked their way. James had half expected it, but it hurt nonetheless. 

Just as the family was about to disappear around the corner, Koronis turned her head and looked where James and his friends stood. A proud smirk danced on her lips as James met her eyes.

Before he could react, she had already left the corridor. 

"Did you guys see that?!" He exclaimed.