Chapter Six
Chapter Six
A comfortable warmth permeated the small hut that Harriet and her friends found themselves in, making them relax into the massive armchair they were comfortably perched on.
Draco's mouth twitched every so often, fighting the urge to sneer at the “oaf's” choice of decoration, after Hermione had elbowed him sharply in the ribs and hissed at him to be nice. They had bickered quietly on the porch as they had waited for Hagrid to open the door. Harriet was just happy that they were now getting along.
Indeed, everything seemed to be going as well as can be, Hermione was chatting idly with Hagrid, complimenting his home, a sentiment which Harriet echoed, and talking about magical creatures.
Unless of course, one could ignore the furtive glances Hagrid kept throwing at Draco and the other boys, and the dastardly rock cakes sitting innocently on their plates, as if they hadn’t been the culprits of near broken teeth and choking a few moments ago. Harriet reckoned that Hermione was avoiding eating them by instead talking to Hagrid. She couldn’t blame her though, and thought:
‘Smart.’
Crabbe and Goyle didn’t seem to have any trouble with the cakes though, as the awful sound of chewing on pseudo-rocks came from the other chair next to them. They genuinely seemed to be enjoying them, and occasionally paused to scratch Hagrid’s dog, Fang, behind his ears.
Indeed, it was almost peaceful.
There was now a lull in the conversation that was made all too apparent by the glances that Hagrid was trying to be subtle about, which Draco had obviously sensed by now. The silence was starting to stifle the almost comfy atmosphere, which prompted Hermione to clear her throat and intervene, probably sensing that Draco was about to say something testy that will get them all thrown out.
“Thanks again for inviting us over, Hagrid. We’ve really been looking forward to meeting you.” She uttered with a smile.
“Nothin’ ta worry about. T’was a bit of a surprise though, when lil’ Harriet ‘ere said she be bringin’ friends over.”
Harriet tried not to wince at the memory of that particular conversation she’d had with her friends over Hagrid’s invitation. To say that her friends had been adamant about her not going alone was an understatement, even though they had had different reasons for that.
Hermione had not wanted to miss what she had said might be her only chance to “meet an actual half-giant.”
Draco, on the other hand had flat out refused her going alone because he didn’t trust “the oaf”.
Harriet though, had just been curious about what Hagrid had to say, so she hadn’t protested to her friends accompanying her.
Now, here they sat in their current predicament, the silence stretching like a rubber band on the verge of snapping, after having exchanged all the pleasantries they could think of at that moment.
Truth be told Harriet hadn’t felt any other particular reason of being here, other than out of sheer curiosity. She didn’t even know the man well, having only met and spoken to him in the span of a few hours before he had dipped on her. She still hadn’t forgiven him for that, after all.
“Yer pro’ly wonderin’ why I wanted ta see ya, righ’?"
Harriet barely restrained herself from doing her best impression of Severus’ “Obviously.”
She blushed fiercely into her mug of tea, letting out a choking sound as she thought of the man in question. Her heart panged painfully in reminder of their last meeting, making a lump form in her throat. She pulled her attention back to the present conversation, now noticing that Draco was giving her that look that said she was being weird again. She tuned in on the conversation just in time to hear the strangest pair of words being directed at her.
“I’m sorry, Harriet.”
She felt herself choking on her tea for the third time in less than an hour, now having the dignity to barely manage to stop a violent coughing fit. Her face went blank in a moment, having exhausted all her will to settle on an expression.
'I'm sorry, Harriet, ' Hagrid had said to her, as if the words were a mere courtesy to an equal.
She felt the simmering peeve she had been nursing sputter out in an instant, leaving her with nothing but a gnawing guilt that was festering in a hole within her, as Aunt Petunia's words emerged from within that void, one's that she had only heard once and committed to memory, a long time ago.
'Don't cause people trouble that they should unnecessarily apologise for, Freak. If anything, it was probably your fault. Take the blame like a good girl and beg for their forgiveness.'
Harriet's stomach sank to an unknown pit in an instant, feeling the chill of dread envelop her, rendering her body heat nonexistent, in what might be one of the warmest places she could be in her life, right between her two best friends.
'What would Aunt Petunia think of me now?' Truly, she had become too comfortable with her current situation, thinking that she deserved an apology. Her! Of all people!
Harriet pictured Aunt Petunia's face looking down at her in that moment, Uncle Vernon and Dudley by her side, the thinly veiled scorn and disappointment etched into every line in their faces, and felt the strange hollow inside her deepen into a chasm. The world seemed to narrow into a point, tunneling her vision on Hagrid’s shaggy beard. And then panic settled in, snapping her back to reality.
"I-it's alright, Hagrid! Really, you don't need to apologise! It was probably an accident..." Harriet blathered on, her voice raised an octave higher than normal. Her excuses for his mistake piled on in the short distance between them, until Hermione rested a hand on her shoulder, pulling her back to the present. Her voice petered out in to an embarrassed silence, the kind which weighed down on her particularly.
She chanced a glance at Hagrid, only to be met with a reassuring smile aimed at her, amidst his shaggy beard. Rather than feeling as intended however, she felt her heart plummeting once more.
"Nah, Harriet. It's m'fault you almost dint make it."
"B-but I-"
"No buts." Hagrid said firmly, putting an end to her pathetic excuses.
Harriet felt a chill cover her entire body in an instant, as sweat broke out on her palms. She clenched her hands into fists as her nerves took hold of her, leaving her with a hollow expression.
'I've failed.'
The world had become muffled around her, making her unable to focus on Hagrid's words. Only snippets slipped into her consciousness, leaving a trail of barbed silence in its wake, which tore at her fragile mentality. She'd once again brought shame to her relatives, just as she'd always done. It seemed like she had become too comfortable, too wayward in their absence, that she now thought an apology was owed to her. She could see her relatives in front of her again, the look of thinly veiled disappointment now cemented into disgusted scorn by her actions, pulling her further into the abyss of her own misery.
The warm hand Hermione held on her shoulder and the concerned gazes from Draco were her only lifeline in that moment, a buoy in the permanent darkness. Harriet focused on them, using them to ground herself in the moment. Right. It wouldn't do to lose herself here.
Harriet refocused on the conversation again, almost smoothly answering his questions about her school life. She felt herself starting to relax again. Well, almost that is.
She could tell that there was a topic he was skirting around, something that he was hoping to speak alone with her about, and for the life of her, Harriet sincerely hoped that it wasn't the elephant in the room that they'd all been avoiding. Hermione seemed to sense this too, something which Harriet immediately realised when she glanced at her during another lull in their conversation.
Having exhausted all their topics, she desperately searched for one by glancing about the hut. She finally spied one in the form of an innocent newspaper lying not far from her on the table. Rather than the newspaper itself, it was the heading that had grabbed her attention.
GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN LATEST
Investigations continue into the break-in at Gringotts on 31 July, widely believed to be the work of Dark wizards or witches unknown.
Gringotts goblins today insisted that nothing had been taken. The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied the same day.
“But we’re not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what’s good for you,” said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon.
Harriet's eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline as she read the entire article, astonishment plain on her face. She faintly remembered Weasel talking about it amid his complaints about his family, the memory of it threatening to sour Harriet's mood. She pulled herself together, ready to ask her question, but hesitated. Doubt and uncertainty welled from that unknown pit in her stomach again, bubbling up into her throat and seizing her vocal cords like a vice, and forming a lump that she had difficulty swallowing around, which had nothing to do with the rock cakes.
Horror, her old friend, settled it's freezing blanket around her, tucking it's well-worn edges close to her sides, and fastening them to her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs.
'Did I just try to...' Her old friend whispered terrible words of disobedience against her relatives' unending kindness, spurring her into inaction.
Harriet knew that she ought to know better, ought to be better than this, bothering adults with her foolish questions. And yet...
The comforting presence of the two beside her grounded her, her friends a solid warmth against the chill. A small smile touched her lips as she relaxed into that warmth and, steeling her resolve, called out to Hagrid, her wavering voice cutting through the thick silence.
'... Aunt Petunia doesn't have to know.' Terror crept up her spine at the oddly rebellious thought which vied with the thrill that went through her at the thought, fighting for dominance. But in the end, only one could win.
"...Hagrid, this robbery... it's from that vault we had emptied earlier that day, right?"
Harriet's heart pounded as the rush of her newfound rebellion propelled her toward forbidden territory, beating down the guilt of having betrayed her aunt's trust.
'Aunt Petunia doesn't have to know. Aunt Petunia doesn't have to know... ' She chanted. An inaudible barrier to the guilt that pushed violently against her.
Hagrid shifted uncomfortably, sparing a quick but not-so-subtle glance at Draco again. Now, Harriet was sure that Hagrid really minded having her friends there. Well, Draco at least. She didn't have to ponder what it was for too long though, as emboldened by her previous query, she pressed the question.
"Hagrid, what was in that package-"
"Ahem, how are yer findin' Slytherin, Harriet? Can't say I was expectin' yer to be placed there." He chuckled nervously.
The trio exchanged astonished looks at the blatant change of subject, nodding to each other in silent understanding when Hagrid wasn't looking. Something was definitely up. Harriet vowed to get to the bottom of it, fueled by the determination in Hermione's eyes. If only she could find the perfect time to interrogate him...
"Oh Hagrid, it's wonderful." Harriet gushed, going on and on about her wonderful time there. All the while, Harriet saw Draco watching Hagrid carefully in her periphery, taking in his facial expressions which he probably thought were controlled. What really made him slip however, was what she said next.
"... and Professor Snape is awesome!"
To say that Hagrid had a dramatic response to that was an understatement. His fingers went slack, dropping his own mug to the floor with a deafening crash. The dark liquid splattered all over his boots, and even then, he didn't seem to notice it. He kept gaping at her like a fish, opening and closing his mouth a few times, then he started muttering.
Harriet could only catch a few words among the endless muttering.
"...James...miffed...an' Lily..."
Hagrid eyes darted to her at that, and seemed to catch himself right then, putting on a smile that Harriet could see twitching erratically under his beard.
'Why is he talking about my parents now?'
Her brow twitched at her suddenly strong urge to frown. Something was suspicious. She knew that Hagrid had called them -well, her - here for some reason, but what did that have to do with her parents? And not to mention his reaction to her talking about Severus, what was up with that ?
Her musings spiralled into a dozen theories that she was getting no answers to in silence. She glanced at Hagrid quickly and looked away, contemplating her next move.
Could she possibly risk it again? she pondered. Harriet knew that she had pushed her luck way too hard that day, asking questions like that. She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. Her legs bounced as her anxiety spiralled out of control.
'Well...Aunt Petunia doesn't have to know.'
"H-Hagrid, what were you-"
"Blimey, would you look at the time! Yer best be goin', now. Don't want yer pr'fessors gettin' worried now, do we?" He announced so suddenly that Harriet heard Fang yelp from where his head was positioned on Crabbe's knee.
She saw Draco's eyes narrow at the half-giant, making no attempt to hide his suspicion. Harriet dutifully beckoned her friends to take their leave, which Draco was all too happy to do, having never contributed to the conversation. Hagrid escorted them to the door, and as Harriet made to follow her friends, Hagrid held her gently by the shoulder, asking to speak with her alone. Harriet glanced back at her friends, who were now a little ways off, and saw that Draco and Hermione were bickering as if their lives depended on it. She sighed and faced Hagrid, ready to take on any form of verbal reprimand he might throw at her.
"So -er- are yer really alrigh' in Slytherin, Harriet?" She frowned at his question, clearly puzzled as to why he'd asked her the same question twice, now. She went through several possible answers she could give him that would allow her to glean some answers from their strange meeting, but decided to settle on the truth instead.
"Yes, sir."
Hagrid regarded her, quietly taking in her expression. Harriet wondered what exactly he was looking for, still dreading the thought of a reprimand. But it never came. Instead, Hagrid adopted a look she had only seen directed at Dudley by Aunt Petunia, and Harriet couldn't deny the strange warmth that she felt as a result of it.
"Well...if yer sure. Yer just look like ya need ta rest is all."
Harriet swallowed thickly at that, immediately knowing what Hagrid was talking about. The prominent eyebags that decorated her visage could not go unnoticed, even though she had applied a mild Glamour Charm to it. She choked up at the reminder of the fateful night that still made her uneasy, even now that it's been more than a few days. She nodded to Hagrid in affirmation, not daring to look up that those eyes with their strange expression gazing at her, the kind that she didn't deserve.
"Well, if yer ever need anythin', yer know where ta find me." He smiled gently.
At his warm tone, Harriet couldn't help but look up and and beam at him, the funny warmth fluttering in her chest in happiness. She startled when her friends called for her, now having realized that she wasn't with them. She suddenly remembered Hagrid's weird behaviour earlier, and decided to test the waters once more, knowing that she might not have another chance to do so again.
"H-Hagrid-", she hesitated swallowing around the huge lump in her throat. "Can you really not tell me about the pac-"
"Now, now, Harriet. Don't go asking about that. Whateva's in that is 'tween Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel."
'Bingo!' Thought Harriet, trying her best not to smile at the obvious slip. Hagrid sent her a panicked look, trying to take back what he had just uttered. He must have found no evidence of her noticing his slip, because he smiled tentatively at her at first, before blooming into beam.
"Off with yer now, Harriet. Don't want ta keep yer friends waiting."
Harriet nodded as she watched her friends waiting patiently for her, and faced Hagrid again.
"Well goodbye, Hagrid...and thank you." She purposefully left out what she was thanking him for, and surprisingly found that she meant it too.
"If yer want ta come by anytime, me door's always open fer yer."
He adopted the expression he'd had earlier, the one she'd always seen directed at her cousin, but never at her, and this time, it didn't feel awkward at all. She let the emotions she felt from it flow through her entire body, reveling in it, and returned a beam of her own.
"I will." She whispered the promise to him, as she returned to her friends.
With their footprints left behind as the only proof of their visit in the dusk, Harriet turned around to look once more at the hut, now a ways off. She saw the gentle half-giant still standing in his doorway, watching as they treaded their way in the snow. Though Harriet couldn't see his face from here, she could sense nothing malicious about his gaze on them, and she felt the now familiar warmth course through her.
Her arm raised as if she were compelled, and she sent an awkward wave his way. He reciprocated with an enthusiastic one of his own, and the giddy feeling in Harriet increased tenfold.
Harriet had a grin plastered to her face as she made her way up to her dorm that night, feeling slightly better about everything in that moment. She knew what her aunt would say about this, how horrified she would be, and once again, she strangely knew the action she should take on that front, because after all...
"Aunt Petunia doesn't have to know."
...
Harriet laid in her bed in the early hours of the January morning, wide awake and staring at the green canopy, lost in reverie as she thought about her latest nightmare.
Her nightmares were getting way worse than she could have ever imagined, although they weren't the usual ones she had before, the ones with the green light.
No, indeed. These were nightmares of a different, pressing sort. Or rather, they were the memories leading to that particular day, which had led to her encounter with Severus that night of Boxing Day...
...
Harriet snuggled into the warmth she was encased in, lost in the peaceful realm between sleep and wakefulness. Her dreams had been pleasant, having fallen asleep next to Severus, in all his glory.
Something niggled at her mind as she thought this, trying to repress the annoying thoughts as she snuggled further into the cosiness of her own bed.
'Wait. Bed?!'
Harriet shot up so fast her head spun, her flight instincts kicked into overdrive.
'If Filch had caught me...'
She glanced around the near empty dorm, save for her herself. Her Invisibility Cloak was neatly folded and placed on top of her trunk. Seeing this, her muscles started to relax as she confirmed that she was indeed in her dorm, but they tensed up immediately after. Try as she might, Harriet couldn't remember returning to her bed last night. And the last thing she remembered was...
Her face went red so quickly an onlooker might have thought that she had been jinxed. She threw the blanket over her head, hiding her secret from the world. She remembered everything from the night before, and she could feel the blush deepening further. How Severus had held his hand against hers; how he had smiled at her, oh so gently...she felt like she might combust in that instant.
But then Harriet frowned, the elation dissipating slightly.
'Had it been real, though?'
She massaged her palm thoughtfully, pressing her other hand against it to mimick the sensation of the other night.
It was not the same. A mirror had been the only barrier between them, and yet it felt like an uncrossable chasm that separated them from each other.
'What was that mirror? Maybe Mione or Draco would know.'
A dark emotion of unknown origin welled within her as she thought this, planting itself firmly in her mind.
'No. I can't tell them. It's mine.'
Her musings ground to a halt when a sudden thought occurred to her. Cold sweat broke out on her forehead in alarm, fearing the worse.
'Was-was Severus trapped in there?!'
She threw off her blanket as the full weight of the thought hit her. The memory of seeing Severus on the other side of the mirror, reaching out to her, was so vivid that she had to stare at her hand to make sure she wasn't dreaming of it. Her heart pounded in her chest in equal parts elation and fear; the elation of her having him all to herself, and the fear that she might never actually get close enough to touch him, her plan foiled by a simple barrier. She smiled greedily at the thought, getting lost in her daydream.
Harriet's stomach gurgled loudly, signalling her of its distress. She was thankful that she was the only one present in the room, because Pansy would have never allowed her to live it down.
Harriet chewed on her bottom lip as she bathed, wracking her brain for an explanation of the mirror's purpose. She hurriedly dressed later, hurrying off to breakfast. She eyed the Cloak as she passed, a plan already forming in her head before she could snap herself out of it.
'But if he is stuck in there...' Harriet shuddered from an emotion she couldn't name. She brought her hands up to her cheeks and smacked them as hard as she could.
"No, I have to check if he's at breakfast first. But if he's not..." She glanced at the Cloak one more time.
And the little girl smiled.
...
Harriet made her way to breakfast in a subdued manner, her face scrunched up as she was lost in the musings of the endless scenarios she had concocted. She didn't know when she had arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall, but now she hesitated to step in, the excitement that had replaced the vestige of fear now thrumming through her. Taking a deep breath, her shaky hand came up to the handle, and pushed open a door.
The door swung open easily, so easily that Harriet felt like it was mocking her for her small form. But what made Harriet pause was a simple fact that she hadn't deigned to check for. She pictured her aunt tutting at her stupidity, and felt like it was rightfully so.
The Great Hall was empty.
Harriet brought her hand up to her face, in the loudest facepalm she had ever made, and in true Harriet fashion, startled when the sound bounced around the empty Hall. She stepped in, trying to be as quiet as she could in the world that she'd found herself in.
The first rays of sunlight filtered through the snow-covered windows, lending its gentle luminence to the cavernous Hall. The lack of light from the candles overhead made Harriet witness the true beauty of the ceiling, her eyes widened in wonder as the snow fell gently down in its reflection of the brilliant sky. Harriet held out her hand, hoping that one of the flakes would dance into it, just to feel it's cool touch, but it never came. The Christmas decorations from the previous day still adorned the Hall, lending her its cheerful spirit.
The concept of time eluded her as she stood there, watching the hypnotic ceiling, as if she had been bewitched herself. She faintly heard footsteps, and would had paid it no mind had she not recognized the rhythmic taps, ones she could identify in her sleep. But she didn't turn to acknowledge it right away, not even when their owner stopped at the door, probably stunned to see a student up so early.
She finally turned to acknowledge the visitor, smiling at the thought of being right in her assumption of who they were - or rather, who he was.
Severus stood at the door, his dark gaze affixed on her with an emotion in its depth that she couldn't identify. His usual dark attire adorned his figure, matching the somber mood its owner always carried. He just stood there, observing her, and the same emotion from earlier zapped through Harriet, leaving a shudder in its wake.
Oh, how she yearned to run to him, ached to say "Severus", and taste the name on her tongue, just to see his reaction to it. But the sane part of her mind urged her to practice caution, and she bottled up her urge.
Harriet instead gave him as sweet a smile as she could muster, which came all too easily to her, given her earlier thoughts, and greeted him.
"Good morning, professor."
A beat passed without him replying, then he inclined his head slightly, like a gentleman greeting his fair lady, just like in the books that Pansy had talked about.
"Good morning, Miss Potter."
...
The clank of cutlery against the plates and the mummur of conversation echoed in the Great Hall. Harriet occupied her seat next to Severus, which she had had no excuse to do, as they had both been early that day. Harriet kept frowning into her plate, and stealing glances at Severus when she thought he wasn't looking.
'Had he forgotten about last night already?'
She glanced at him once more, still finding no acknowledgement of the night they had shared, not even a nod to satisfy her curiosity.
'Just...nothing.'
She felt the numbness and disappointment sour her mood as she poked listlessly at her food. She glanced at him one last time to confirm her suspicions. And made up her mind;
She needed to find that mirror.
...
Harriet left the Hall quietly after breakfast, dashing back to her dorm to grab the Invisibility Cloak. She had no clear route mapped out, but if there was one thing of which she was certain, then it was her destination.
She stole through the quiet hallways of the castle, careful to dodge Peeves and the Weasel twins alike. Her light footsteps barely disturbed the paintings, their gossips seeming to be a more important matter than that of an invisible girl.
Harriet spent the entire morning searching for that room, at first trying to retrace her steps from last night, but quickly found that she had just ran helter-skelter. Even her random search had yielded nothing but startling Professor Binns and a few other ghosts. It was late in the afternoon now, and Harriet could feel her stomach pinch rather painfully, as she had managed to completely skip lunch. She nearly gave up, until she spotted a familiar suit of armour that she had only noticed when she was been chased last night.
Her heart commenced its frantic beat as she stood in front of the door she had encountered. She took a deep breath, grasping the handle, and pushed.
The door swung open silently as Harriet took stock of the room. Everything was as it had been in her last visit, and right there, just were her eyes could see...was the mirror.
Harriet approached it in reverence, her footsteps now echoing in the stillness of the unused classroom. She finally stopped in front of it, already knowing that she wouldn't see her own reflection, regardless of the fact that she was under the Cloak. She gulped loudly, steeling herself. For what? she didn't know. She grasped the the Cloak and, taking a deep breath, ripped it off in one go.
And there he was again.
Severus' tall frame towered over her, his dark eyes giving her the same look he had before. Harriet tiptoed, reaching up to touch his face, but was halted by the damn barrier. She huffed in annoyance, her irritation starting to grow, but was immediately snuffed out when Severus kneeled to face her. She splayed her fingers where his face was, hoping to feel the warmth underneath, and he leaned into her touch.
In that moment, it didn't matter that the thin barrier between them existed, didn't matter how much time had passed. What mattered was that they were together, in their own little world. This was the closest she had ever been to him, and for Harriet, just this alone was enough.
The sun crept across the sky, and too soon, it was dark, but Harriet didn't leave, and neither had Severus. She muttered a quiet "Lumos" , still not taking her eyes off the being before her. But as all things do, their private moment came to an abrupt end. Harriet didn't even notice that there was an intruder until they were right behind her.
"Miss Potter."
Harriet's throat went dry faster than her mind could catch up. Her mind screamed at her to turn around, to finally get an answer to the question she was pondering over that morning, but she was frozen in fear, and not because she had been caught craving something she shouldn't.
She kept her eyes on the Severus in front of her, tracing his face with her eyes, memorizing every feature.
'What if I never see him again?'
"I believe I addressed you, Miss Potter."
Harriet gulped around the lump in her throat. Her breath hitched in her attempt to calm herself, trying to fight down her hyperventilation. She could almost feel the walls maintaining her sanity cracking, the fissures getting wider and wider. Tears streamed down her cheeks, blurring her vision. She took as deep a breath as she could muster, and faced her judge, jury, and executioner.
Terrified eyes met that of Severus Snape's, her teacher, and Head of House, who was looking none too pleased with her. His terrifying gaze was affixed resolutely on her, not straying an inch from her visage. He looked at her for a while longer, then his gaze softened, just a touch, and moved back a step. Harriet's shoulders visibly relaxed as he did, having feared that he might hit her, but also curious that he didn't. She didn't dare ask though, not trying to test her luck too soon, which seemed to be a good idea, because he broke the silence.
"You skipped two meals today, Miss Potter."
His statement made her heart rate pick up again as she stammered out her response.
"I was- that is- I just - um..." She trailed off into incoherence, then silence.
She kept glancing between her professor and the mirror, unsure of where to look. Harriet had hoped that he would say something, anything now that she had been caught doing something that she feels so ashamed of, but can't think of the reason why she should feel so. She opened her mouth to stammer out a proper reply, try in any way to salvage the situation, but she snapped her mouth shut again, unable to meet his eyes. She heard him move toward her and shut her eyes, knowing that the hit was coming.
'I deserve this.'
She heard the footsteps stop next to her, and waited. The seconds ticked by as nothing else happened. She cracked open her eyes and her vision was met with the bottom of his robes. She tried, really tried not to look at him again -at them - but once again, her curiosity got the best of her. And when she did look up, the sight of him made her heart stutter.
Severus stared deep into the mirror, his eyes roving over a specific spot. He had pressed his own hand firmly against it, like he was trying to touch someone, trying to grab them with all his might, but kept slipping through his fingers. The emotion on his face was so raw, the yearning so palpable that Harriet couldn't look away. She looked back at the mirror and beheld an identical face to the one beside her, now adopting the expression of his original.
Harriet's thoughts floated through the haze of her mind, asking if he was seeing the same thing as she was.
'Who reacts to seeing their own face like that?'
There had to be something she was missing, something so obvious that she knew Draco might have given her a stink-eye for.
'But what, exactly? And how are there two Severus'?' She wracked her brain, trying her best to put two and two together, but once again came up empty. She eyed Severus in her periphery, pulling herself together in an attempt to focus and inquire about it, which was a Herculean feat, as she kept focusing on the two identical expressions next to her. She cleared her throat, upsetting the silence she was loathe to break, and Severus answered her silent question, as though their minds were connected.
"The Mirror of Erised, is its name, a cruel, despicable thing. It shows you your deepest, most desperate heart desire, some of which are unattainable, impossible...and just out of reach. Nothing but an illusion of a deluded mind."
Harriet felt her heart break at his words, the jagged cracks at the edges snagging onto whatever hope she'd had when she'd met him, and dragging it into the pit of her despair. The hand she held against the mirror twitched as she thought of her next move. She focused on the Severus within the mirror, how he still kneeled before her, how utterly still he was.
'Nothing but an illusion of a deluded mind.'
"Showing one their own deceased loved ones isn't beyond its capabilities, it seems."
Harriet's head snapped in his direction, her mouth agape in disbelief. Severus seemed to have realized what he'd uttered, and clamped his mouth shut. So many questions ran through her mind that she didn't dare to ask, lest she offended him. Now that she was observing him more closely, he was doing the same thing she was, leaning toward the mirror, even putting his hand on it, almost as if...
Something curled in the pit of Harriet's stomach, tightening until all semblance of rationality fled from her.
Something foreign.
Something...ugly.
"Who?"The words were out of her mouth before she could reign them in. His head had snapped in her direction. "Who do you see, professor?" Her own voice sounded foreign in her ears, so strange to hear it so void of emotion, but at that point, she couldn't care less.
Severus had never looked at her like that before, never so much as held out his hand toward her like that, except when he had held her when she had fainted after the Troll Incident, and that strange dream she'd had last night, about him tucking her in bed. She ducked her head, closing her eyes to dispell her thoughts.
'It's not the same.' She raised her head and leveled him with her gaze. 'I want more.'
She wondered who he was seeing, who dared to capture his attention in such a way that he could ignore her as she stood right next to him. She didn't delude herself into thinking that he was seeing her in the mirror, as he was staring way above her head, so the height difference was enough to clue her in. Her vision narrowed as she stared at him, pushing him with her eyes to tell her the truth.
'Who are they? Whoaretheywhoarethey?'
Through the red haze that clouded her mind, Harriet saw something flicker across his face, an expression too quick for her to read, and he slowly moved his hand from the mirror, crossing both arms across his chest. His face had settled into that unreadable mask that Harriet hadn't had directed at her in a very long time, and haze that had stopped her from reasoning vanished.
"Miss Potter," His voice was firm and devoid of emotion in his address, and Harriet immediately knew that she had cocked up. "It would serve you well to not seek the Mirror of Erised from now on."
Harriet's mouth dropped open as the words slithered their way into her ears, attaching themselves firmly into her brain. Several questions stacked on top of each other, ready to tumble out of her mouth in their haste. But the only coherent word she could utter was a quiet:
"Why?"
"It shows us nothing but our deepest desires, illusions that would bring even the strongest man to his knees. What it shows is something either impossible to achieve, or something else to soothe a troubled mind." Severus' voice was sharp and harsh, grating in her ears like the screech of a mandrake.
Harriet shook her head to drown out his words, backing away from him until she was at the door. Her eyes had glazed over, refusing to believe that the Severus in the mirror wasn't real. Her kind, sweet Severus that had laid next to her as she'd slept, instead replaced by this one who sought to erase his memory. She didn't hear him approach, didn't even see him until he stood in front of her.
"Miss Potter." He called out to her gently. She lifted her head and regarded him, her blurry eyes taking note that he was only a step away from her. How easy it would be for her to run to him and hug him, seeking comfort. He almost looked like his other self in the mirror like this, what with the air of gentleness he exuded. But then he spoke, and the illusion shattered. She almost laughed at the irony.
"I know seeing your parents again was a gift for you, but you have to know; they were nothing but an illusion. Do not succumb to it, Miss Potter."
Harriet was too numb to process what he had said just now, feeling a sudden exhaustion from the entire exchange. She had nothing in the way of a reply, so she just nodded her head in acquiescence. A weary sigh sounded above her, and she found her Cloak suddenly thrust in her vision. She took it quietly, and exited the room.
She paid no mind to the silent footsteps of that of her guardian that followed her down the hallways, to her Common Room, and stopped at the bottom of the staircase leading to the girls' dormitory.
Harriet tossed her Cloak somewhere as she collapsed on her bed, pulling her blanket over her head to hide herself from the world.
Her thoughts spiraled in to an incoherent mess as they lulled her into a fitful sleep.
And as of that moment, her dreams took on a new turn, one of a nightmarish recurrence.
...
Harriet rubbed her eyes as she heard the other dorms occupants rousing from their peaceful slumber. It had been several days already, and she still couldn't rest. As she had done for several nights now, she always snuck out in search of the mirror, even more cautious now that the other students had returned from their holiday. She hurriedly made her way to the bathroom so that she could have some semblance of privacy before she could face the world again. Standing in front of the bathroom sink to brush her teeth, she took a second to take in her appearance.
Her hair was more tousled than usual due to her lack of sleep. The eyebags had deepened into a light purplish colour, the only one she had on her face these days, it seemed. She brought her hand up, pressing her palm to the cool glass, choking back a sob.
'It's been days.'
Harriet spent almost every night wandering the halls of Hogwarts on her fruitless search, narrowly avoiding Filch and Mrs. Norris. She always went back to the room that had housed it, to remind herself that it had been real, though the only proof were the imprint on the floor, and her memories. She was ripped out of her dour thoughts by someone stumbling into the bathroom, slapping her face to regain her focus, she moved on to get ready for class.
...
"You wouldn't believe the nerve of that Weasel, Harry."
Draco sneered as soon as Harriet slipped into their claimed seat. Harriet had been the last to arrive, oddly enough, as this was literally the last class she would be late for.
"What did he do this time?"
"He had the nerve to bully Mione again. So like the perfect gentleman I am, I defended her honour!" He exclaimed, puffing out his chest.
Now, Harriet was watching him as if he was the weird one. Hermione, who had been quietly reading her Potions textbook, put it down momentarily to give him a dubious look.
"Draco casted the Bat Bogey hex on him."
Harriet blinked, her mouth agape, and started to giggle. Draco gave Hermione a mock look of wounded pride at having his moment stolen, before joining her. Even Hermione was smiling a little. She wiped the tears from her eyes as their laughter petered out, only leaving a few sniggers in its wake.
"And he even dared to challenge us to a Wizard's Duel, but fortunately enough, Crabbe and Goyle were quick to -er- discourage him and his pals." Hermione chimed in.
"Explain, now!"
Draco then gave Harriet what Hermione called an "exaggeration" of the whole debacle, ignoring Hermione's occasional quips of "that didn't happen". Harriet just sat there watching them, now experiencing the full blow of their previous absence. She'd barely had time to dwell on it, given the whole "mirror" situation, but...she'd missed her best friends. The letters she had sent them by using the school owls weren't the same. Her smile faltered a little as she thought, once again stopping herself just shy of mentioning what she had been up to during the holiday.
"So, are we aren't going to actually duel Weasel, are we?"
"Hmpf. Of course not, Harry. I don't fancy being caught by Filch for any reason, my father would hear of it. Besides, we've got more pressing matters to attend to. Tell her, Mione."
Hermione snapped her book shut as she leaned toward them, glancing around to check if anyone was listening. Satisfied, she then uttered the answer to the Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel mystery that had been plaguing them since early that week.
"It's the Philosopher's Stone, Harry." Harriet strained her memory to remember what it was, only vaguely recalling having read about it during her and Hermione's many visits to the library. Draco joined in, offering the poor girl the information she needed, and when she realized it, her eyes widened in disbelief.
The third floor, of course that's why they were prohibited from entering it.
"But-but doesn't that mean that it's here, at Hogwarts?"
"Well, that's what we think, but we shouldn't go any further than this, we have to tell the teachers." Cautioned Hermione, ever the voice of reason.
"Where's your sense of adventure, Mione? Think about it Harry, if we could stop it from being stolen, and maybe use it to brew the Elixir of Life-"
"Draco!" Hermione whispered harshly.
"Fine, but if we can stop the thief, Harry, we could be heroes, and actually stick it to the Gryffindors for once. What do you say?"
Doubt settled in Harriet's mind, for once not wanting to go along with Draco's ideas. There was a reason for this, and a rather simple one, really.
Harriet was exhausted.
All her efforts in searching for the blasted mirror had been for naught. Her disappointment was wearing her down, the depression becoming more and more evident as the days went by. She looked down at her hands in her lap, and found that the tremours were occuring more frequently. The constant pressure in her scar and behind her eyes these days were enough to make even the simplest task extremely difficult for her.
'What even is the point?'
Severus swept into the class just then, bringing a wave of silence in his wake. Harriet's heart jolted as she stared at him, watching his every move. She lifted her hand, answered all his questions, and somehow barely even got a passing glance from him. Her heart panged as she thought of her own Severus, all alone in the mirror, and forever lost to her.
'Heroes, huh?'
Some hero she was, The-Girl-Who-Lived, who couldn't even find a bloody mirror, and protect what was hers. She kept her eyes on him as he moved, following his every gesture as he explained the nuances of Potions. The both of them were as different as night and day, and yet...
'...They are the same person.'
Hope bloomed in her chest, painting her cheeks in the warmest shade of red it had adorned in days. Indeed they were, weren't they? She chewed on lip bottom lip as she thought, an insane plan slowly worming its way into her mind.
'Could he become my Severus someday? Is it- is it possible?'
Harriet watched the thin string of hope that was dangling before her eyes, and grabbed it, wrapping it around her fingers and all the way up to her arm, never planning to let go of it again.
"Tonight." Harriet whispered not taking her eyes off what was hers.
"What?" Came Draco's voice, swimming through the familiar haze in her mind.
Harriet's lips parted in a soft pant, as her entire face flushed.
"We'll start searching tonight."