Chapter 5
Over the following weeks, the castle seemed to balance out. The gossiping quieted down. None of the teachers approached Severus about the rumors. He didn’t know if that was Dumbledore’s doing or not, but he assumed that they all thought there was no way Severus Snape was Harry Potter’s soulmate. He wasn’t planning on doing anything to make them think otherwise.
The Friday potions classes were one of his more peaceful days of the week. After he took points from Slytherin, his students fell more into line and hardly even breathed in that class. The night it happened, Minerva even commented on it, the staff just as shocked as the students. He ignored all of them. As the talking stopped, the grey river eventually started changing color. It started small. Only slivers of color peaking through the grey. On the morning Severus woke up to a river full of calm blue, even a third year destroying two cauldrons and a table couldn’t faze him.
As Potter’s emotions continued to come back without the panic, Severus left him alone. He decided he had went after the boy enough. As the time wore on, he didn’t understand why he’d even been so determined to get through to him. The hatred and animosity was no longer present, but being somewhat civil was as far as they both seemed to go in whatever unspoken agreement they had. When no nightmares woke him up, it made him even more sure in his decision to give space.
Halloween weekend arrived and as always, he resigned to spending the entire weekend closed off in his quarters. No matter how many years went by since the anniversary of Lily’s death, it never got any easier for him. The other professors had responsibilities to watch the students and keep them out of trouble, but Dumbledore excused him from it. The one year Severus had tried to assist was the first year in Hogwarts history that all houses ended the year with points still in the negative.
Severus was in bed, laying there for the sake of doing it when the change happened. The other two times he’d been asleep and didn’t get the chance to observe the way it occured. This time, however, he got to see just how sudden the color shifted, how quickly the waves began to roll around. The pitch black of the water had Severus immediately standing up from the bed, grabbing his robes to change into them. Images of the last time he had found Potter after a nightmare flashed through his mind. The way the boy had been choking himself without even realizing had bothered Severus for days. Potter was close to passing out when he’d arrived. He did not want to chance not going back to that corridor.
He slipped out into the quiet of the school and made his way to that bench. When he rounded the corner and saw it empty, he almost turned around and went back to his quarters, but something told him to keep going. Severus sat down on the bench and stared out of the window. The stars and moon were particularly bright. There was no doubt that if Potter showed up, he would be able to see Severus upon entering the corridor. It would give the boy the chance to turn around and elsewhere to be alone if he wished.
The hope Severus didn’t realize was in his chest calmed when the bench shifted next to him. He turned to face Potter to find his body mirroring his own, shifted towards him but with his head staring out the window. The panic was still swirling around in the river, but the waves were slowing down and that was enough to have Severus turning to look back out the window.
Potter eventually whispered, “I remember it. The night it happened.”
His head whipped around to look at the boy next to him, but he was still looking outside. Severus opened his mouth, but he didn’t have the words.
“It’s what I hear whenever dementors are near. I can hear her screaming and I can hear him cast the killing curse. If I dream about it, I even see the green of it hitting her.”
Severus took a shaky breath. “I had no idea you had any memory of that night.”
“I didn’t either until third year when the dementors were here.” Severus seemed to remember how the dementors gravitated towards Potter that year. He had come so close to being kissed in that singular year more than anyone else Severus had ever known.
He tried to rack his brain to come up with something to say. Anything, really. He didn’t want to go back to only speaking angrily with Potter, but Severus didn’t know how to only handle the softness. In the hopes he had found a middle ground, he said, “Your mother would be so disappointed in your potions skills, you know. She had standards.”
Potter looked at him for the first time, his green eyes confused. “What?”
With a smirk on his face, he said, “Your mother. You are so abysmal at potions. You clearly get your skills in that area from your father.”
The boy narrowed his eyes at Severus. “Are you trying to tell me my mum was actually good at potions?”
“She was almost better than me. She’d be so devastated that you are unable to get close to where she was.”
“I would argue that that’s your fault.”
Severus feigned a look of hurt. “Mine? I have been nothing but the best potions teacher this castle has ever seen.”
Potter snorted. “You might have the potential to be the best, but you don’t really teach. You just hover and yell directions.”
“I most certainly do not.” He most certainly did, he realized with an internal grimace.
“You do!” Potter insisted. “With you floating over my shoulder, I’m useless.”
“Are you using being intimidated as an excuse to do poorly in my class?”
The boy looked like he was about to argue, but then something flashed across his face. “You know what, yes, I am. You do that intentionally. You want us intimidated by you.”
Severus smirked. “That is because the students listen better when scared.”
“Maybe the ones that are prone to trouble, sure. The ones that are timid and shy won’t thrive in that environment.”
He crossed his arms. “You think you know better than I do?”
“With this? I can confidently say that I do.” Potter crossed his arms in response. The black water had faded, the yellow amusement peaking through with blue calm. The more those emotions overshadowed the black, the more Severus felt himself relax.
Sneering, Severus said, “Get better at potions and then maybe I will take some of your advice.”
“Get better at teaching me and maybe I’ll be able to actually succeed in your class.” He went to open his mouth to argue back, but Potter wasn’t finished. “My mum would be disappointed in your teaching ability.”
He felt his jaw drop. The sheer audacity. “That was rather Slytherin of you. Manipulation, Potter? Really?”
The Gryffindor laughed. “The hat wanted to put me there.” Severus shook his head. There was no way. It must have shown on his face. “Seriously. After meeting Malfoy, I had this misconception that Slytherin automatically meant evil and when the sorting hat told me I could do great things there, I requested Gryffindor.”
“That was rather Slytherin of you to do.” Potter just shrugged. With how calm the boy was, Severus felt that it was safe to leave him alone. He stood, feeling Potter’s eyes on him as he moved. “Alas, it seems as though we are both destined to be disappointments in the eyes of your mother.”
Potter stood as well. “Potentially, but something tells me she wouldn’t be quite as disappointed as you think.”
Severus nodded his head in acquiescence. He turned and started back down the hallway. He had only gone about ten steps when he heard a quiet, “Thank you, Professor.”
He paused. Without looking over his shoulder at the vulnerable sounding boy, he said, “Anytime, Mr. Potter.”
The calmness followed him for the rest of the night. The following morning was a different story. He woke up in a panic. Looking inside at the river had Severus seeing the black waves of panic, but something new was there. Bright red streaks were flowing through the black water like an alarm blaring. For the second time in less than twelve hours, Severus jumped out of bed and threw on his robes, sprinting from his quarters before his brain could even catch up with the fact that he had no idea where he was going.