Chapter Three
"Hi." She says when she picks up the phone.
"Hi." Karlie says, it's impossible to tell how she's feeling from her voice. "You called. Earlier. I was asleep."
"Oh." She let's out unsure of what else to say. "Sorry."
"It's fine, I just wanted to explain why I didn't pick up."
"Ok."
"What did you want. I mean surely you should have been sleeping yourself."
"Probably. But I was...overwhelmed."
"Oh." Karlie says remembering what Taylor could be like sometimes. "Are you ok, or?"
"Not really."
"So you called me."
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I..." She doesn't know how to put it into words. How every time her world is in peices the only person she wants is Karlie. She'd thought, after the breakup, that person would go back to being her mother, like it was before, but it stayed Karlie. Even after everything. How does she begin to express that? The desire...no need, for the model. "I wanted to."
"After all this time?" Karlie asks. "I thought you'd moved on I mean some Gaylors are convinced Travis is real. I thought..."
"Seriosuly? You thought that was real?" Taylor says. Karlie laughs.
"You've always been a good actor, Swift."
" And you've always been able to tell when I'm acting, Kloss."
"True. Maybe I just wanted to believe that you'd moved on. That you were okay."
Taylor is silent. What can you say to that when you clearly never moved on and the only reason you called is because you are the opposite of ok?
"I miss you." She settles with.
"I..." Karlie's voice breaks. "I miss you too, Tay."
"Is that why you showed up at the eras tour?"
"Yeah partly, also because I do just love your music. Always have."
"My number one fan." As she says it Taylor can picture Karlie smiling at her.
"Taylor." Karlies says after an awkward silence.
"Karlie."
"How bad is it?" Hearing that question come out of Karlie's mouth again feels like a lifeline. A strand of gold helping to pull her back to the surface before she drowns. It's familiar and she instantly knows how to respond.
"I don't know like...eight. Maybe more and definitely going to get worse. Talking to you should help though."
"Eight?"
"Yeah."
"I should...can I do something? Other than be on call with you?" If she's saying that then part of her must understand that Taylor's need for her support hasn't changed.
"Not really."
"I could fly out. Where are you headed from
Vancouver?"
"New York."
"Ok. I'm booking tickets."
"Karlie stop. We broke up. Why would you fly across the country to see me? You have a family."
"I want to. You can't stop me, Swift."
"Are you sure?"
"See you in New York, Tay. Oh and make sure you get some sleep. That always helps, at least a little."
Then Karlie hangs up and Taylor is left exhausted, wondering what the hell just happened.