Chapter 3
It's not okay.
Nothing is okay.
I can't stop thinking about him, about the possibilities of what we could do, as a relationship would, like kissing and holding hands (in a romantic way). I stay up all night wondering about all the what if's. Then I remember he'd never like me that way, I mean why would he? Anyway, I'll see him and my friends as I do every morning at school, I just have to pretend everything is okay. I can't have them worrying about me, not until I figure this out.
I'm waiting for them near my locker, ignoring the part where we meet up together because I don't know if I could handle it first thing. They arrive a few minutes later :
"Where were you?" Hermione asked in her motherly voice.
"I just thought to get here earlier" I say planting a fake but convincing smile on my face.
Draco immediately comes up to me ans wraps his arms around my neck for a hug which I reciprocate by throwing my arms around his back and, unlike usual, I pat it as a greeting. Trying to seem normal and not the fact I'm going insane.
He pulls back and looks at me with confusion written all over his face along with..hurt? No. Were just friends, he established that more than once.
"What was that for? you okay?"
I pull away stepping back a few, and reply "yeah of course, why wouldn't I be?" Acting innocent.
With that, I walked away to my first class as they engaged in another conversation.
What's wrong with me. I don't want to push him away but at the same time I can't show or tell him anything at the minute.
Draco pov:
That was weird. I got to school with my friends but harry wasn't there to meet us, so we brushed it off and said he must already be there. So we spotted him and went over, he didn't look very good. He hasn't slept. I move to give him a hug like every morning, and he just pats my back? And his arms are around my back, not the waist. What.. I shouldn't care. But it's not normal.
I'm overreacting he's okay.
"I'm just tired I guess" I take pity on him and say "I'm sorry" I knew about his sleeping habits and how they weren't all that great. Thankfully, he let me slide my arm around his shoulders as we stood there talking. I didn't even notice he left until the bell rang. What a best friend I am.
I need to know what's going on.
Harry pov:
Halfway through English class, my eyes begin to droop and I feel myself falling asleep for the first time since yesterday. Were learning about romeo and Juliet, I don't care what their tragic love story is about. I lay my head in my arms on the table and breathe in and out. Draco, who was next to me, whispered that I need to get up and write hut I merely shaked my head.
I don't have the energy for this. I sneaked my phone under the table and message hermione.
"'Mione?"
She replied "yes, harry? your meant to be in class right now!"
"I know but so are you!" Knowing full well she has a free period.
"Whatever, what's going on harry?"
"I don't know, I haven't slept and I've been thinking all night. My chest hurts when I see certain things and it doesn't go away. I feel like falling asleep in english."
"Well, please don't. And what have you been thinking about? How is it hurting you"
My body freezes. Shit. I said too much.
"Oh, nothing much to be honest just life"
I knew that she knew I wasn't telling the full truth.
"Harry James Potter, spill."
"I can't. There's not much to say"
"I don't care just say it."
Shes felt like he mother of our friends group and I always could go to her about anything.
"We both have free period after break I'll tell you then. I promise "
"Okay, you better." With a sigh I switch my phone off and put it back in my pocket. Unbeknownst to me, the class just ended and we could start filing out. So me and draco did just that. He goes to hold my hand, but I can't. Not while I'm confused about what's going on, so I just cough into my hand and start conversation. He notices this and frowns but brushes it off.
I'm sorry draco - I wanted to say but I couldn't.
We sit down in the cafeteria as hermione and Ron were entering she gave me a knowing look.