Barty’s hands were trembling.
He was sitting on the edge of Evan’s bed in the slytherin dormitory, hunched over. His fingers tangled into his brown hair, pulling on the green fringe. His breath came out in short, labored breaths. As if he was trying to hold himself together but failing miserably. The dorm was dimly lit, the greenish glow from the lake outside casting eerie patterns on the walls. But Evan only focused on the boy in front of him.
“They think I’m cruel,” Barty choked out. His voice was thin, barely above a whisper. But the pain was enough to make Evan’s chest tighten. “All of them. Every single one of them. Except you lot.” He let out a bitter laugh, one that had nothing to do with humor. “I heard them today. A group in the corridor were talking about how I’m going to end up inAzkaban just like my father wants.”
Evan’s jaw tightened. “They don't know you.”
Barty let out a shaky breath, his shoulders shaking. “But they think they do. They think they've got me all figured out. That I’m just this… this heartless bitch who enjoys hurting people. And maybe that's easier for them to believe, because if they saw the truth they’d have to care. And no one bloody cares.”
Evan moved closer, sitting beside him on the bed, their knees brushing. “I care,” he said softly. “Reg and Pandora and the others do too.”
Barty swallowed, his fingers still tight in his hair. “My own father thinks I’m a disgrace,” he murmured. “Not because he thinks I’ll turn out dark and dangerous. No, that's not the problem. It’s because I’m not the perfect little heir he wanted. Because I’m-” He cut himself off, shaking his head violently. “Because I’m nor who he wants me to be.”
Evan didn’t need him to finish the sentence. He knew. Had known for years. Their relationship was complicated. It was more than a situationship but maybe not a relationship yet. They flirted, held hands underneath the table and kissed in dark corners. But it wasn't a relationship quite yet. Barty still had a hard time accepting himself with the upbringing he had. But Evan stood with him on every step of his journey.
“You are not a disgrace,” Evan said firmly, gripping Barty’s wrist and pulling his hands away from his hair before he created a bald spot on himself. “You are not heartless. You are not cruel. And you sure as hell don’t deserve the way people treat you.”
Barty closed his eyes and Evan saw the tears he was trying so hard to keep from spilling. “Then why does it feel like I do?”
Evan sighed and gently pried Baty’s fingers from where they had curled into fists. “Because people need someone to hate and you make it easy for them. You don't let them in. You put up walls so high they can’t see over them. And I get it, Barty. I do. But you don't have to be alone in this.”
Baty let out a shaky breath, leaning slightly into Evan’s touch. “I don’t know how to make it stop.”
Evan squeezed his hands. “You don't have to. You just have to keep going. And I’ll be right here, every step of the way.”
For a moment Barty didn't respond. But then he nodded - just the slightest movement, but it was there. And when he finally leaned into Evanäs shoulder, exhaling shakily, Evan wrapped an arm around him. Holding him close.
They stayed like that for a long time. The silence between them was heavy but not suffocating. Evan could feel the tension slowly bleed from Barty’s body, though he still trembled slightly. Evan didn’t mind. He’d hold him for as long as he needed to.
“You’re not alone in this,” Evan murmured into brown and green hair. “And you never will be.”
Barty let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob. “You say that now.”
“And I’ll say it tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after.” EVan pulled back slightly so he could look into Barty’s eyes. “I don’t care what they say about you. I don’t care what your father thinks. None of that matters when I know the real you.”
Barty searched his face for any sign of deception, but came up empty handed. There never was any with Evan. The weight pressing down on his chest felt just a little lighter. It wasn’t gone, not by a long shot, but Evan’s presence made it easier to handle.
Evan smirked, trying to lighten the mood. “Besides, you and I both know that you’re far too pretty for Azkaban.”
Barty let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head. “You're an idiot.”
Evan grinned. “But I’m your idiot.”
Bary stared at him for a long moment before finally nodding, resting his head on Evan's shoulder once more. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Yeah, you are.”
And for the first time in a long while, he didn’t feel so alone.