The Banquet

It was a bright day, and the air was sweet and fresh. The scenery was more beautiful than usual, and the cool winds only enhanced the experience. Anyone could come outside and feel happy, despite what almost sounded like tiny screams from the nearby ponds. There was another scream, from a little girl this time.

Albedo shot a tense look in her direction. She was given strict orders to stay close, but rules to her was air to a fish. She didn’t see any use in them, instead employing any number of schemes to get her way. She’d gotten even worse since she met Guiying. To Albedo’s chagrin, she encouraged and even inspired Klee’s misbehaviour. She used to stay within a reasonable distance, but now she disappeared every time he turned his head. He was afraid some thug might sneak up to her with a sack and get blown up into thousands of pieces.

He weighed the pros and cons of running after her in his heart. He could restrict her to sitting on the blanket with them, but the city would surely suffer from her hyperactivity. Guiying was also in the midst of pouring out her heart to him. She was the kind of person who struggled to talk about herself, and any negative feedback would be disastrous.

Whatever thugs showed up, they would have to fend for themselves. They probably deserved their fate anyways.

He turned his attention back to the apple on hand. He drew a knife carefully over it, allowing the shiny skin to come off in one long strip. From moment to moment, he snuck a look at Guiying. She was still talking, fiddling with a strand of wavy black hair.

“You let people into your life, all the while knowing they’ll leave. Doesn’t it scare you? Having to open yourself up like that?”

Klee laughed in the distance, the joyful sound accompanied by another explosion. Guiying continued to speak without waiting for an answer.

“Sometimes it all feels pointless. Like it’s better to just give up, rather than getting hurt over and over again.”

She gave him an anxious look he didn't catch. Letting go of her hair, she reached to take an apple slice from its half-filled plate. Albedo set aside the peel and began to cut his apple into pieces, carefully replacing the piece she had taken.

“Everything has a beginning and end. It’s only natural to become tired at times.” He added the rest of the pieces, arranging them in a flower blossom. “We have short and insignificant lives. We’re not so important in the grand scheme of things.”

“You aren't very good at this, are you?”

He cleaned his hands and rested them in his lap. “Klee often cheers up herself, as well as those around her. I suppose that skill may be lacking as a result. But although we may not be remembered, that doesn’t take away from the importance of now. Every moment is special, and the gods have a plan for us. It just takes a while to know what it is.”

Guiying sighed again. “I have a hard time believing they’d care about someone like me. If it’s that difficult to imagine it, hearing about these abstract plans won’t be so comforting.” She took another apple slice, pushing the petals together to hide the gap.

Guiying watched as his brow furrowed slightly. He was famously cold and emotionless, due in no small part to his expressions. They were so restrained that it would be difficult for anyone to spot them, nevermind interpret them correctly. This one might be ‘frustration’ or ‘disgust’ to anyone else. But if Guiying was good at anything, it was at reading people. She had spent enough years by his side to learn this was ‘extreme concentration’.

He didn’t spend much time around people, so he naturally had to try harder to come up with this sort of thing. It was actually very cute, like he cared enough to get a headache over it. She liked his effort, she liked his face, and she especially liked seeing his face. It was best like this, in the fresh air rather than locked away at the sect. Sunlight fell in pieces around the tree at their back, touching his hair and skin with little dapples of colour. It was even better out in the open, where the sun could freely wrap around him. It gave him a warm look, as if he was made of light himself.

“At least this is real,” he said finally. “The sun, the grass. Me and Klee. We’re by your side, and we won’t be leaving anytime soon.”

Guiying sat up and stuck out her hand. “Prove it.”

Albedo’s brow furrowed by the slightest amount. It was similar to the earlier expression, but with a distinct feeling of confusion. He wiped his palms nervously on his robes, before holding a hand out to her.

She took it firmly and laid it flat against her chest. He almost stopped breathing, his face reddening like a chili pepper.

“You can feel my heartbeat, right?”

He nodded, knowing his words wouldn’t come out right if he spoke. He knew from his anatomy lessons that it was difficult to sense a heartbeat in the chest. There were layers of flesh and muscles muffling the sound, and the problem was probably exacerbated with a woman. A human would choose the wrist or neck instead, but Albedo’s master had designed him to have a keener sense of touch. He could feel her heart beat as strongly as a drum.

There were only two problems, and they were pressing into his hand. He couldn’t stay like this, but any attempt to free himself would result in an even closer and warmer embrace. His master taught him he shouldn’t touch women, and this was something on a woman he especially shouldn’t touch.

His master had warned him about this. She’d told him many times that messing around with anyone, especially a man, would make his god so angry she would grind him up into paste. He’d grown up enough to know that wasn’t true. Why would she care about that, when eight nations sent prayers to her every day? She was probably drowning in paperwork, and gods had better pastimes than watching over an ant’s nonexistent romantic life.

But when he thought about it, his master had been scarily insistent about it. She was always intense, but it was another level altogether after he took Tas’s place. Her face was cold and frightening to look at, but she grabbed his shoulders and made him to anyways. She yelled that he must never sleep with a man, especially not one with black hair or blue eyes.

He’d never understood what she meant. He would stare at her face and think ‘don’t you have both those traits?’ He was too frightened to say anything, so he would just nod his head over and over again until she stopped yelling. It was only until much later that he put two and two together. His master was secretive, but he knew enough to guess at her origins. She was like a gem of aventurine amongst jades. She was polished the same way, and she had enough resemblances that she could blend in. It was only after years serving her that he could make out the difference.

Apart from her expression, she had a cold look to her face. It was all angles and edges, in a way that modern Teyvatians didn’t share. He could see some in his own face, but not enough that he’d look like her son. She came from a destroyed kingdom, and warned him against people who looked like her. Maybe she’d left on bad terms, or those people weren’t to be trusted. It was useless in any case, as Albedo hadn’t seen anyone with those features. Except maybe the youth with the honey drops, with his dark hair and pale blue eye. But he was much too cute to do any harm, and he was from Mondstadt rather than some dusty old kingdom.

Those kinds of warnings lost their potency the longer Albedo stayed away from his master, and he thought that might be a good thing. Guiying’s flirtations were more overt than most, and his hand was even in that place where hands should not go. The fact that his god hadn’t punished him yet was an excellent sign.

“Say you won’t leave me, alright?”

He was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of her voice. It was much softer than usual, contrasted by her heart at the tips of his fingers. It was strong and quick, but much faster than his own. He wondered if that was normal for a human, or if he should research it later.

“I won’t leave you. I promise.”

Guiying’s lips curled, but her eyes were too sad for it to be a smile.

“Swear it.”

“I swear.”

He spoke quietly, hoping his tone conveyed his sincerity. She laughed and dropped his hand. It tingled, as if he’d put it in a pot of boiling water.

“I’m sorry. I’m being stupid.” She passed her sleeve over her eyes, looking away.

“Not at all,” he said, his words blurring together in their rush to come out. “It’s not a problem at all.”

“Nothing’s ever a problem for you. Sometimes you need to say no.”

Her voice was strained, as if she didn’t believe him. She lowered her head until her hair hid her expression.

“I won’t leave you,” he said. “I’ll swear it. I’ll swear on anything, as long as you believe it.”

Guiying’s head lifted slightly. “Then you’d better swear it on your life.”

“On my life, on my death, it’s all the same to me.”

Guiying peeked through her bangs at him. Her eyes glowed in the sunlight, like diamonds trapped in honey. “That doesn’t count. You have to say it officially, like a promise.”

“I promise you, Guiying. I won’t leave until my dying breath.”

She smiled and pulled him into a hug. She had always liked his hair, and she had the advantage of height over him. She could rest her chin on his head, or rub her cheek against his hair like a cat. More often than not, it would ruin his hair, and he would have to brush and tie it up again. Mo Min-ji was certainly unhappy that her efforts were being wasted. But she was holding him tightly enough that he didn’t dare squirm away.

It was all her fault. She was too strong, too sweet, too beautiful. He was spoiled by her. He could never eat candy and be satisfied, he could never see flowers without thinking of her. Everything lovely was tasteless and ugly in comparison to her. She was the yang to his yin, the sun to its moon. She smelled like lilies and rain, and she was everything good in the world.

Albedo’s heart felt strange, like his god had reached down and squashed it in her hand. He was always calm and rational, so where in Teyvat were these embarrassing sentiments from? It felt as if a whole new world had suddenly been thrust on him, and the change was both startling and frightening. It might have been easier as a sign of his god’s displeasure. The first sign of ‘death by paste’; slowly losing his mind. Maybe he should also research that later.

There was an immense explosion, and Klee screamed in joy. It wouldn’t be long before she ran towards them with a fish twice her size.

“Most promises go both ways,” said Albedo.

Guiying pulled away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do you want something?”

Her voice was quiet, as if he’d said something wrong.

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked, her eyes darting to his leg.

He pulled his robe to cover it, feeling a pang of humiliation. He wanted to take back what he said, but it was better that than focusing on his injury. He blurted out, “I want you to say the same.”

“What?”

He mumbled, “I want you to say the same.”

That wasn’t really true. What he wanted was to jump off a cliff. His meaning didn’t seem to be reaching her, and the embarrassment was only compounding over time.

He said hesitantly, “The promise… the ‘not leaving’.”

“Oh…” She laughed, the sound short and surprised. It was quickly followed by more, sounding genuine this time. It would be pleasant to hear if it wasn’t directed at him. He didn’t know how to react, when only moments ago they’d been getting along. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong this time. He shifted away, untying his hair to comb through it with his fingers. It hadn’t been too mussed, but it wouldn’t do to be caught lacking in appearance. It was washed recently, so it was soft and silky. The feeling was soothing to his nerves.

The laughter stopped, but he didn’t dare look at her. It was nothing to be upset about, and it was embarrassing that he was so affected. He could be calm again if he pushed it down and forgot about it. He just needed a few moments for his body to reset.

“Did I make you upset?”

He shook his head, still looking away.

“Bedo… Are you angry that I was laughing?”

He shook his head again. He wasn’t angry, and he didn’t want her to feel upset. But the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth, as if he’d forgotten how to speak.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was just… I don’t know. I felt relieved. Or happy. Or something else. I’m not very good at this. I’m supposed to be, but I’m not. I can’t even think about it properly, never mind talk about it. It’s like everything’s… mixed together. I don’t really get it. I didn’t mean to do something wrong, or hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t do anything.” Albedo wrapped the hair ribbon around his hand, stroking the silk and twisting it between his fingers. “Humans say I’m cold and emotionless, that I’m not enough like them. But Master says differently. I’m weak and sensitive, far worse than any human. She scolds me for it, but she also says it has to be that way.”

Unlike with humans, his master could pick the traits she wanted for him. He was strong, quick to learn, and built for survivability. But no being was perfect, and his strengths came at a cost to his other abilities. He was strong, but opening a pot of ink could make it explode. He could live through fatal injuries, but that didn’t make them hurt less. Humans were the worst part of it. They were noisy, confusing, and impossible to understand.

But as much as he wasn’t human, his master always compared him to one. He wasn’t like Tas; he was too emotional. He should be rational. Strong. In control of himself. But he had to be weak, or he couldn’t be strong. And that meant he had to feel this way. Stupid, sensitive, emotional. Rather than betraying his flaws, it was far better to be cold and harsh. He wasn’t human, and had no need for something so useless as emotion.

“You’ve never told me that before.”

He could feel her staring at him, and he wished she’d stop. He wanted to be anywhere else, to hide somewhere no one could criticize or punish him. “It was never important. It still isn’t.”

She was unperturbed by his flat reply. “I wish you would talk to me like that more often."

“I don’t want to.”

The response was childish to his own ears, but she didn’t point it out. “I promise too. I won’t break it unless your god jumps down from the heavens and forces me to.”

She held out her hand, and he stared at it for a moment. He didn’t understand why she would treat him like this. She always smiled at him, and never said anything behind his back. Even when he showed emotion, she didn’t care and wanted to hold his hand.

His rational side thought it was a trick, or some kind of long term-scheme to get a favour. His childish side took Guiying’s hand.

He knew it was naïve. Whenever his master hurt him, she would hug him and promise it was the last time. He only had himself to blame for clinging so tightly in response. He loved her, as much as a thing like him could love anyone. But maybe it would hurt less to love someone like Guiying.

She squeezed his hand, smiling at him.

“Are you done talking?” Klee wrapped her arms around Albedo’s neck and rocked back and forth. “I was being patient like you said, but you were talking for hours and hours.”

“Be careful of his leg, Klee.”

“Oh. Sorry…”

Albedo hugged her carefully. He’d come a long way in controlling his strength, but humans were fragile creatures. He was still afraid she’d explode like an inkpot if he squeezed too hard. “Are you hungry? I cut some apples, but they won’t be more than a snack. I knew I was forgetting something… I should have packed a lunch when we were heading out. You should be eating meals regularly. It isn’t healthy to eat at such different times.”

“I love apples. And we can cook the fish on a campfire!” Klee wriggled free and pointed to a stump, where a fish had been proudly propped up.

That didn’t sound safe at all. Wouldn’t there be dirt and insects everywhere? And what kind of meal was made of only fish?

“I’ve heard of these new food items from Fontaine… you know how they always invent things. One can add any number of vegetables, and it can be easily ground and fit in a cup. You have to promise me you’ll drink the whole thing when we get back.”

“Ew…”

“Don’t say that when it’s good for you. You can drink it, or we can head back early.”

“You can’t say that, when you hate vegetables too!” Klee turned indignantly to Guiying. “It’s not fair, tell him it’s not fair! He can’t make me, when he won’t even drink it himself!”

Guiying smiled. “He is being unfair, isn’t he?”

Albedo was struck with a deep sense of betrayal.

“Yes! He makes me eat such gross things, then eats desserts in secret, like I won’t know he’s hiding it! We’re supposed be family, and he betrayed me! A brother never eats candy without his sister!”

The betrayal was only deepening, although it was probably Albedo’s fault. Knowing Klee’s curiosity, he should have hidden the wrappers more carefully.

Guiying beckoned Klee over to whisper conspiratorially. However, with the volume of their voices, Albedo suspected that even someone with normal hearing could make it out.

“You can try it, and we can always make something else that’s healthy.”

“I don’t want to eat anything like that. It’s frightening.”

“I guess food is frightening for most at your age. Maybe you drink just a sip of it, and you can hand it right over if you don’t like the taste.”

“You’d do that? I love you way more than my stupid big brother.”

“You’re going to hurt both our feelings at this rate.”

Klee opted to sit on Guiying’s shoulders, supervising from her roost as Albedo prepared the fish. It was difficult to stay standing in his state, so he sat down while Guiying ran around with Klee on her shoulders. Klee began to slump more and more as her energy waned.

“You didn’t promise me,” she said.

Albedo and Guiying exchanged looks. As her ‘older brother’, Albedo felt that he should say something. “It isn’t good to eavesdrop, even with family.”

Klee declared, “I couldn’t help it if your voices are so loud.” She whispered in Guiying’s ear, and she knelt in front of Albedo so Klee could be at his height.

“Mama doesn’t look old, but she’s been alive for ages. I don’t want to get old by myself. You promised Guiying, so promise me too. Or else I’ll never ever forgive you.”

Was wanting her to eat healthy such a big deal? Maybe Albedo should make an effort and eat the same foods as her, no matter how bitter or unpleasant they were.

“I promise, Klee. I don’t plan on dying for a long time.”

Klee nodded, jumping down to give Albedo a solemn hug. Seeing the fish scales on his hands, she settled for a solemn kiss on the cheek. She turned to Guiying next, staring at her expectantly.

Guiying laughed light-heartedly. “What, you think I’m a flight risk? I’m happy right here in Ximseong. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“Hasn’t anyone cleaned Guiying’s room since she left?”

An Nabi sighed. “It isn’t fair to lump all of this on us. We’ve been so busy with the divine leader’s rooms, and everyone else keeps asking for help… if any of these recruits knew to clean up their mess. First it’s a spill in the kitchens, then a wing has exploded, and before you know it a week has passed. Still, I can have it cleaned in an incense time – no, half an incense time, if Master Kaeya is alright with waiting.”

Her tone was too causal, but Amira successfully resisted the urge to tell her off. She’d spent a long time building self-control, and it had been tested to its limits today. It would be fine if it was one or two things, but they just kept coming. The entrance hall was destroyed, she was shown as a complete fool in that ‘simulation’, and Guiying’s cousin decided to lose his mind during the trial. After they’d endorsed him wholeheartedly, he would throw their kindness in their faces?

The betrayal was only deepened when Nan Seok stepped up, and starting spouting off about whatever the hells it was. At least ‘Master Kaeya’ stopped at cussing out the divine leader. He'd stared at the table in silence for the rest of the trial, like he lost interest in anything not immediately about him.

He barely said anything once the trial was over, so the people who were congratulating him were put off. Amira could never do that, but maybe things were different in Mondstadt. It was only once he had a complete breakdown that Amira realized he might be a bit disturbed.

She had to be fair to him. Anyone would be upset, having their reality bent like that. The simulations were entirely new to Teyvat, and it had taken two incense times for the crowd to understand them. Kaeya had been thrown into it with no warning. Having to kill someone, then repeat it a second time in front of an audience? No matter what he’d done, ‘he’ still looked and acted like a human. After spending a month together, it had to be like stabbing a real person. It was no wonder Kaeya was upset.

But when people spoke callously about it, he simply smiled, obediently following instructions and washing up for the banquet. It was only when they passed the room in the simulation that he became agitated. It was a complete change within seconds. He was smiling one moment, then screaming his head off the next. He started yelling all sorts of strange things, including a few more curses at the divine leader. Then he went into the room and locked the door behind him. There was crashing sounds, like he was tearing the place apart. He shouted more things that didn’t make sense. That ‘they’ needed to get out, although he was the only one in the room. That ‘they’ had to stop messing with him, or he would ‘return to Mondstadt in a box’.

One might think qi deviations were much more common nowadays, but the term had really evolved to encompass a variety of conditions. If a master had a nervous breakdown and beat someone up on the street, it could be called a qi deviation to avoid bringing him shame. Even if it wasn’t life threatening, calling a lapse in judgement a ‘qi deviation’ meant it could be taken seriously.

This was not one of those times. Kaeya was on the verge of doing something drastic, and it frightened everyone to see him in that state. He had been smiling moments ago, so how could he snap out of nowhere?

In the end, they sedated him with some medicine from the healing wing. Amira heard he hadn’t slept in a week, so this was really the best for everyone. Anyone could lose their mind without enough rest. He was put in Guiying’s room to sleep it off, and should wake up at any moment. The only problem was the state of said room.

They’d known about his arrival for a week, but there were too many fires popping up to worry about it. It had been pushed aside until they were forced to put him there, dusty or not. With their waning reputation, the sect couldn’t afford looking so inhospitable.

She sighed and told An Nabi, “Return during the banquet and give it a quick clean. It can be properly done later, so don’t spend too much time on it. We wouldn’t have been able to fight so well against those demons without your help.”

An Nabi had convinced most of the others to stay after the incident, so there was a threat of mass walkouts if she stormed out. Amira thought she’d won her over, so she was confused when An Nabi gave her an unreadable look.

“Thank you, Master Azzi. You’re too generous.”

Her words didn’t match her tone at all. What was going on with her? Ever since the incident, she’d flipped like a hotcake between cheerfulness and complete apathy. This was nothing like the An Nabi that Amira knew, and she’d known her for years. Granted, they’d probably said ten words total in all that time. Amira was leaning to cultivate, while An Nabi was cleaning or cooking. If you were a woman in Eunmyoneg and didn’t have ‘the gift’, there was no helping your station in life. It was just a pity that An Nabi didn’t marry some rich man instead of working at the sect. She could forgo the chores altogether, and move her unsettling tones somewhere Amira didn’t have to hear them.

“This place has gone even more downhill than I thought.”

Her voice was grating as ever, but Amira was secretly glad to hear it. At least she could stop dealing with An Nabi for a moment.

She turned a cold glare on her and snapped, “Outsiders are forbidden until the banquet. Either you broke in here, or you bribed some junior to let you in. I doubt your superiors would look kindly on either.”

Aitana blinked innocently, hoisting an ornate box in her arms. “So hostile. Since leaving the family, I suppose you’ve forgotten your manners as well. You should look inwards rather than cast blame. If a healer can come here so easily, who knows what kind of riffraff might show up.”

Mo Min-ji swept around the corner, her hair askew and her cheeks reddened with rage. “You shouldn’t be in here,” she hissed, pulling the box from Aitana’s hands. “Get out before you’re thrown out.”

Amira frowned. “You stole her supplies? This is a new low, even for you.”

“She would waste them by herself.” Aitana summoned a box of her own, unclasping the top to reveal an array of beauty supplies. “I doubt she could handle his hair anyways.”

Mo Min-ji adjusted her hair, saying frostily, “I haven’t even got a brush out because you stole all of them. You should consider your words before you throw out accusations like that.”

Aitana sneered at her. “If you care so much, you should have been there when his hair was being washed. You can’t just wait until it dries to show up.”

An Nabi sidled up to Mo Min-ji and poked her in the side. “Watch your tongue, won’t you? Master Rhinedottir told us to be careful around the Fatui.”

Mo Min-ji frowned.  “I wouldn’t be arguing if she weren’t trying to poach a client.” She turned to Aitana. “It’s one thing to do your own hair, but working on others is different. A healer wouldn’t know the first thing about beauty.”

Amira added, “She shouldn’t be here anyways. One of you, please go find Master Daiyu. There’s an interloper trying to bother our guest.”

“So, I’m an ‘interloper’, but that failed master is allowed to loiter around. Regardless of this sect’s blatant hypocrisy, I am by far the superior candidate.” Aitana pointedly tugged on one of her curls. “I’m sure that blind cultivator would benefit more from your services. You wouldn’t want another ‘parasite incident’ at the banquet.”

Mo Min-ji stood up straighter, her expression fighting between defrosting and freezing further. Seol Hyeok was well-respected, but that incident would pop up easily. It would be best if his appearance held no reminders of it, such as a similar robe or hairstyle.

Amira didn’t want to give in so easily. “If you’re here to recruit him, you can wait until the banquet. No one else is barging in and pestering him.”

“They lack initiative. It’s no wonder their gods are fading away.” Aitana stepped into the room, locking the door behind her before anyone could object.

Not only did she barge into a god’s chosen place, but she treated her followers with such disrespect? She was so impolite and cold. If Amira could go back in time, she would disown her twice.

“Master Azzi, is it alright to let her go in there? After what they said at the trial…”

“I’m sure he was only exaggerating, so don’t waste time thinking about it. Go on with your duties as usual.”

If she knew anything, it was that family’s dramatic tendencies. It was common for people to overstate their bad experiences for attention. It didn’t say anything about their morals, as anyone would act strangely out of pain. But if they believed anything, who knew how many innocent people would be punished? It was for everyone’s good if they took Kaeya’s words with a grain of salt.