Sixth Year
“Where is Peter? I thought we all agreed on five o’ clock!” Sirius groaned, pacing back and forth in front of the common room fireplace.
“He had to go down to the Greenhouses for something,” James said, splayed out on the couch, popping Bertie Botts’ jelly beans into his mouth.
“I still think this is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had,” Remus said without looking up from his transfiguration homework.
“Oh please,” Sirius said with a grin, “I know you’re secretly having so much fun with this.” He reached past the cake on the coffee table and attempted to snatch a stack of papers under Remus’ textbook.
“You wanker!” Remus cried out, smacking Sirius on the head to make him let go.
“I wanna see!”
“Well, you have to wait!” Remus said, flustered.
“But Pete’s taking forever,” Sirius complained, slumping back in defeat.
“What’s that?” Peter said, suddenly appearing behind them.
“Finally!” Sirius said.
“Do you have yours?” James asked excitedly.
“Yeah, I do,” Peter smirked, joining them all at the table.
“Ohh, this is gonna be good,” Sirius said, sitting down cross legged on the floor.
“The cake!” James cried out suddenly, pointing to the now melting icing.
“I told you not to leave it so close to the fire,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. Sirius spluttered, outraged.
“Well if Peter hadn’t been so late-”
“Sorry I actually give a toss about my grades, unlike-”
“OH-kay, that’s enough,” James cut in. “Now, who wants to go first?’”
Sirius had been begging the other three boys for days now to do a ‘hear me out’ cake, met with much enthusiasm by James and Peter, and an outright “absolutely not” from Remus. It had taken much persuasion to finally convince him to participate- thanks to Sirius, of course.
“I’ll go,” Sirius said, smirking as he pulled out his first cut-out photo he had fashioned to a food pick. Remus sighed, finally putting down his homework, and James leaned forward eagerly. Sirius started bringing his hands down on the table for an anticipatory drumroll. Peter and James joined in, and Sirius slowly turned the photo in his hand around to reveal it to the other boys. James gasped instantly, then burst out laughing.
“Minnie!” Sirius said excitedly, holding an image of Professor McGonagall from the yearbook.
“No way,” Peter said slowly.
“I get it!” James crowed, and Sirius started giggling feverishly.
“You guys are so weird,” Remus said, shaking his head, clearly trying to hide a smile.
“Oh come on Moony, I know you agree!” Sirius laughed.
“Mm,” James agreed, “Always staying after class to talk to her, too . . .”
“Yeah, what’s that all about?” Peter said, catching on.
“For homework!” Remus said indignantly.
“That’s what they all say,” Sirius said.
“Oh, spare me.”
“Alright. Your turn!” Sirius said gleefully, sticking the first picture into the cake.
“Fine!” Remus said with a huff, grabbing his pictures from his arm chair.
“Hear me out,” he said, bringing his first photo down to the cake.
“Is that-”
“Oh hell no.”
“Ollivander?!” Sirius shouted in disbelief.
“Shh!” Remus said as a few other Gryffindors turned to look over at their spot by the fire.
“You said no to Minnie but yes to Ollivander? Like, the wand guy?” Sirius said, clearly a little miffed by Remus’ choice.
Peter snorted. “No way you’re getting jealous over Ollivander right now, Sirius.”
“Shut up, I am not!”
“Shush, I want to hear the thinking behind this!” James said, clapping a hand over Peter’s mouth. Peter wrenched himself away and started sputtering and spitting everywhere. Remus’ face suddenly went red and James started laughing.
“Oh my god Moony, what is it?”
“Well- I don’t know- he seems like he’d be good with his hands-”
“That’s enough!” Sirius said as James started to roar with laughter. Even Peter couldn’t contain himself.
“It’s obviously a joke!” Remus said to Sirius, still blushing slightly.
“I know! But Jesus, have some self respect or something,” Sirius grumbled, making Remus throw up his hands in exasperation.
“Okay James, your turn. And preferably don’t say anyone over the age of 50,” Sirius said once James and Peter calmed down.
“Okay,” James said with a shaky voice. He giggled as he revealed his first picture.
“The sorting hat,” he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“What?!” Peter burst out, making someone from across the common room shush him. Remus snorted.
“I like the way it whispers in my ear,” James said proudly, making Sirius’ jaw drop.
“Dude, that’s crazy,” he deadpanned, making Peter genuinely lose it.
“You said make them unexpected!”
“I didn’t mean inanimate objects!”
“Well, you should have specified!”
“What is going on here?” a loud voice said from behind the boys. They all turned around to find Mary, Marlene, and Lily looking down at them with confused faces.
“Where’d the cake come from?” Lily asked.
“Is it someone’s birthday?!” Mary said.
“Please save me,” Remus whispered loudly to Lily, making her giggle.
“Why is there a picture of Professor McGonagall on that cake?” she asked.
Sirius smiled guiltily and gave a little shrug.
“Oh my god, you’re doing a hear me out cake, aren’t you?” Mary squealed suddenly.
“Wait, what’s that?” Lily asked.
“All the weird things they would fuck,” Marlene supplied helpfully, making Remus make a little strangled sound.
“I’ll have you know this was not my idea,” Remus said.
“Who said Ollivander?” Mary said, wrinkling her nose slightly. The other three boys all peeked at Remus out of the corner of their eyes, making Lily gasp and Remus cover his face with his hands and groan dramatically.
“Stop! I take it back, I take it back!”
“You can’t take back a hear me out, Moony!” Sirius said happily, extending an arm over Remus’ shoulder as if he hadn’t been so openly jealous five minutes ago.
“Wait, I want to join!” Mary said, sitting down next to James.
“Me too!” Marlene said, joining Mary.
“It’s Peter’s turn first,” Sirius said, gesturing for the boy to go.
“Hear me out,” Peter said, flashing a picture of some sirens from the lake. Marlene agreed enthusiastically, and then it was Mary’s turn.
“The Bloody Baron!”
Everyone nodded in approval. The turns continued, with Marlene mentioning the Gringotts Goblins, Lily saying the centaurs, and, to nobody’s surprise, Sirius pulling out a cut out picture of a motorcycle from some Muggle magazine.
“This next one might be a little controversial,” James said nervously, glancing at Sirius.
“Well, what is it?”
“Er- hear me out,” James said, cringing a little as he stuck the photo into the cake. “Regulus.”
There was a shocked silence. Then-
“My brother?!” Sirius said, gaping.
Mary had her hand over her mouth, clearly trying not to start squealing.
“Uh-”
“You’re joking, right?”
“No?” James said in a small voice.
“Well that's . . . unexpected,” Remus said slowly, trying to ease the tension. Sirius wasn’t breaking eye contact with James, suddenly sitting very rigid at the mention of his younger brother. For the longest time their relationship had been rocky, but with the recent death of Orion Black the two brothers had come together and started to talk again.
“James, I swear to god right now-”
“It’s just a hear me out! I wouldn’t like- date him or anything,” James said hurriedly.
“James is right. It’s nothing, Sirius,” Peter said nervously. “Like, I would say Lockhart.”
With that, the silence grew even more tangent.
“You- what?” Remus said, shocked.
“Er-” Peter stammered, face growing red. It had worked to distract Sirius, though. He was now staring at Peter with a surprised look.
“Gilderoy Lockhart?”
“That’s so cute!” Mary said, clapping her hands together.
“This is so much weirder than I thought it would be,” Lily whispered to Remus. He agreed.
“That reminds me!” Sirius said suddenly, exchanging a look with James and Peter before digging back through his pile of pictures.
“The grand finale,” he said with a smirk. He flipped the photo around, making Remus’ jaw drop. It was a poor drawing, but obviously meant to be Remus in werewolf form. The words ‘Moony!’ were written in shaky handwriting above the picture, in addition to a smattering of little pink hearts.
“Moony? More like moon me,” Sirius said, looking very pleased with himself.
“Raw next question,” James said behind a giggle.
Everyone waited in bated breath to see Remus’ reaction. He was unnaturally still, eyes locked on Sirius, mouth a thin line. Sirius let out a strange, nervous high-pitched trilling, and then Remus pounced.
“It was a joke! It’s just a joke!” Sirius squealed, trying to break free from Remus’ grasp- to no avail. Remus was on top of him, wrestling him into the carpet and trying to pin him down.
“I. Will. Kill. You!” Remus panted in a dangerous voice. James was grinning ear to ear like Christmas came early. Everyone else was laughing- Peter was in hysterics.
The werewolf drawing was left forgotten by the cake, the common room background noise drowned out by the sixth years’ laughter. It was one of those cozy nights that was so perfect- one that would be a fond memory for the marauders in years to come.