Dumbledore was dead. Everything seemed bleak and tragic around Hermione and all she could think was shit got real scary real fast. It seemed like yesterday that her biggest fear was Ron genuinely falling in love with Lavender and adopting another pet rat with her, only this time the rat would be a rat and not an illegal animagus who also betrayed the parents of their best friend.
She walked back to her room thinking of all the consequences of this event. Her gut reaction was to ensure her parents safety, after all they were muggles and not to toot on her own horn or whatever but she was kind of a big deal now. Her parents would be in danger and she had to protect them. She initially had the idea to convince or convince her parents to leave, but honestly that would be to ridiculous. She muttered the password and made her way up the stairs and into her room where her bed was a mess, with parchment, books and clothes all thrown around.
She moved to clean up her area and to sit and come up with a plan to keep her parents safe, her boys safe and probably most importantly herself safe, when her eyes fell on the copy of Great Gatsby carelessly thrown on the floor. As she picked it up she remembered how effective Americans were with their guns and an idea struck her head.
Bingo.
She quickly grabbed a loose piece of parchment and wrote to her parents-
'Mum and dad
hello quick letter, will explain more when I get home, but buy tickets to USA. Preferably Texas or Florida.
love,
Hermione'
She wrapped up the letter and ran out her room, and once she was in the Common Room she ran into Dean, Seamus, Harry and Ron.
'Whoa Hermione what has you in such a rush?' Dean said. The rest of the boys looked expectantly at her.
'Dean I'm gonna get a gun'
'Damn perfect. Can I give you money and you can get me some as well'
'You'd have to get it over the summer, but yeah just have your dad pay my dad'
'Cool'
'What the fuck is a gun?' said Ron, and all the guys looked at him like he was stupid.
'Bloody hell you guys, you didn't see me make that face when you didn't know about Portkeys did you?' Ron said in exasperation.
'Anyway, ta, Harry can I use Hedwig'
'Sure' Harry sulked. Dumbledore's death was still a heavy thing, despite it have already been 2 hours. Oh yeah Sirius also died like a year ago, dang poor child.
Hermione rushed, and sent the letter.
Flash forward to summer and she was back home. She explained the situation to her parents and at first they were scared but when she explained her plan, and how Death Eaters thought muggles were stupid and they could use it to their advantage her parents relented.
They flew to Austin Texas, and walked into the first firearm store they saw.
"Howdy y'all what can I get for ya?' A man with a thick mustache asked from the counter of the store. The family hadn't noticed him as they were taken aback by the sheer amount of guns.
"Hello sir, we were wondering if we could buy a few handguns. A glock, a few pistols maybe?" Hermione trailed off.
"Oh you guys certainly ain't locals. You miss, how old are you?"
"I am seventeen"
"Well dang, unfortunately you gotta be eighteen to have a gun," the owner said with a gosh-darn-it attitude, however that quickly dropped when he turned to her dad and said, "but sir, it certainly would be fine for you to buy one and gift it to her." He finished with a wink.
"Yes we shall take 9."
"Wow starting a collection are we?"
"Yes"
"cool. Ammo is on me, not everyday your girl get's her first gun."
They bought the guns and left the store.
"So we bought the guns how will we get them back home, certainly not on a flight."
"Don't worry about that I got a portkey. The Ministry still hasn't completely fallen."
"Wow"
They get back home. Dean comes over, takes three guns for his family.
Hermione then has a plan. She uses Harry as bait:
"Don't worry Harry, have my plans ever gone wrong?"
"Well no but there is always the first time for everything"
"Coward"
"No I am Gryffindor"
"Cool so you consent"
"alright i guess"
Harry is able to draw out Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Hermione has Kingsley (cause I love him), erect a huge shield with small openings where they position their guns, and they gun down all the Death Eaters.
God she loved anti-apparation wards
Voldemort remains.
"Harry Potter you can kill me but I will never die"
"Bro it is literally me and the girls shooting, Harry is just standing there. Are you minsogynst?" Parvati yelled in amazement.
"Nah it's just habit at this point" Voldemort said ashamed, "I am evil but not stupid, women are very capable.
"Yeah so as I was saying before you can try and kill me but I won't die"
"Oh because of your H-words?" Hermione said, she wanted to taunt him but not tell everyone about this evil piece of magic.
"How do you know about those?" Voldemort gasped.
"Cause I am Hermione fucking Granger bitch" she said as she cocked her gun and shot him straight through his non-existent heart.
As the bullet hit him, he sprawled dead.
"Wait but Hermione he was right he can come back"
"Yeah but at least we don't have to be worried about him actively trying to kill you, so we can peacefully look for the You-Know-Whats and then destroy them."
"Oh yeah that does make things easier"
That is when Luna comes in and is like 'oh I'm a seer and I know where all these things are hidden' so they get all the stuff, Ron is able to get into Gringotts because he is distantly related to the Lestranges cause like inbreeding with purebloods, and Kreacher gets the locket, Luna gets the diadem, Hermione killed Voldemort and with the power of friendship Harry's inner Voldemort dies (and all remaining parts of Voldemort's soul dying so it was weak).
The war was over and Fred, Hedwig, Moody, Colin, Dobby e.t.c didn't die because Hermione got a gun.