The Soul
Number twelve, Grimmauld Place
The dining room.
At one end of the long black table, Orion Black is sitting.
Walburga Black is sitting opposite.
Sirius and Regulus are sitting face to face each other.
The room is silent, no one is eating the food in front of them.
Just
Tick...Tock...Tick... Tock...
Orion Black picks up his fork and brings a small piece of meat to his mouth. The others begin to eat as well.
A sound is heard from the fireplace in the living room. Orion Black slowly puts his fork down on the edge of his plate. Everyone stops eating. Orion Black wipes the corners of his mouth with the end of his black napkin. He pushes his chair back and slowly stands up. He heads into the living room.
Walburga Black stands up quickly, walks around the table, and replaces her husband's glass with Sirius'.
"Mother, what are you-?"
"Don't speak unless you are called, Regulus?"
"Yes, mother."
When Walburga Black takes her place, Orion Black enters and sits down.
"The Mudbloods working at the Ministry are not capable of doing anything right. They leave no appetite." Orion Black takes a sip from his glass and puts it down on the table.
Regulus drops the fork onto his plate.
Walburga Black watches Orion Black without blinking.
Orion Black first grabs his throat, trying to breathe. He holds on to the table as he tries to stand up. His chair slips out from under him. The tablecloth slips from Orion Black's hands.
The glass topples over, the red wine spills onto the tablecloth.
Orion Black lies on the floor, his face purple and eyes open.
No one moves.
Sirius looks at his own eyes in the glass of the clock where the candlelight is reflected on.
Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...
Regulus is crying in front of him.
Walburga sends Regulus to his room.
Kreacher collects the plates.
Walburga Black looks at the empty wall where Orion stood before he fell.
"It was for you, you know." she says it quietly.
"When you didn't get the mark last week, a decision was made about you. It's too late now.We're all dead."
"No." says Sirius, more likely to himself.
"No one knew except me and Bellatrix. There's no escape in this." says Walburga.
"If he dies." says Sirius looking at Walburga.
"He has three minutes left."
Sirius gets up and leans over Orion, checks his pulse. He grabs his arms and drags him across the floor to the living room. He walks to the fireplace and takes a handful of floo powder.
Walburga Black sits alone at the table. Sirius drops the powder in his hand standing next to Orion Black.
"Malfoy Manor."
They roll into the darkness in green flames.
Sirius woke up out of breath. His clothes were soaked in sweat from the neck down, his hair was sticking to his face. Sirius tried to calm down by taking deep breaths where he lay.
When he opened the curtains of his bed, he saw the first red rays of the rising sun. He threw on his black leather jacket that was hanging on the edge of his bed, put on his worn-out converses on the floor.
He opened the window of his dorm room and slowly walked over to where they always sat on the roof. He took out his pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, took out one of the three remaining cigarettes with trembling fingers and lit it. He took out the thinner cigarette of the two remaining cigarettes in the pack and placed it behind his ear.
'If Barty does not honor the truce, if he does not return my necklace, should I light this cigarette, or should I just light Barty?'
He watched the rising sun through the smoke. The red stripe in the dark blue sky was now dispersing into shades of orange and yellow. The stars were still shining. Sirius hugged his jacket tightly.
He saw Remus sticking his head out the window. When their eyes met, Sirius turned his head. Remus came out of the window and sat down next to him two seconds later.
Sirius flinched when he felt a hand in his hair. Remus was reaching for the cigarette behind his ear. Sirius scooted away from him. Remus’s hand hung in the air for a moment. Sirius offered him the pack of cigarettes. Remus lowered his hand, took the last one from the pack, lit it, and took a deep drag.
Now he had one cigarette left: the Barty's truce. Sirius took the cigarette from behind his ear and put it in the pack, leaving the pack next to him, his hand on top of it so it wouldn’t blow away in the wind. Remus put his hand on top of his. His hand was warm. Remus was watching the rising sun. When he saw Sirius looking at him, he turned his head and looked into Sirius’s eyes.
Remus’ hazel eyes were shining with all the rays of light, red, yellow, orange. Sirius thought he could see the stars if he looked just a little closer. He just stared into his eyes, unblinking, as if hypnotized. He couldn’t think of anything, as if he were frozen in time.
He could pour his whole soul into these eyes. Even just his gaze softened the breath he took.
Sirius reached out to Remus' face with his other hand, the jacket slipping off his back and falling behind him. When his trembling fingers touched Remus' cheek, Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sirius ran his fingers lightly over his eyelids. Remus was leaning into his touch. His fingers traced the scars and freckles on his face.
Sometimes there are people we see in our dreams, no matter how much we think about them when we wake up, we can't remember their faces clearly. We think they're someone we've never seen before, but then we wonder why they were so familiar? It's as if they've always been there but you've just found them.When you close your eyes, you can see them again, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember their faces, but you remember the way they look at you, the way they smiled at you, the way they touched you, you remember the souls of these people you saw in your three or four second dreams. If they asked you the color of their eyes, you might not know, but you remember their look. If they asked you their voice, you might not be able to tell, but you remember their smile. So how do we remember their touch? The moment Remus put his hand on Sirius's, Sirius remembered that touch. To remember the touch, you have to find that soul. Now Remus was that soul to Sirius. His fingers were not on his skin, but on his soul. Sirius wanted to memorize every piece of this soul, so he wouldn’t have to wait his dreams to recognize him, to touch him, to love him. He would put away him from all his nightmares. He could find him outside of his dreams. He would keep him with himself forever. Then they would be each other's eternity.
The words were out of his mouth before he even realized it. "I’m… " But he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say 'I am sorry'. Because he knew Remus would forgive him if he told him.
When Sirius lowered his fingers from Remus's face, Remus opened his eyes. He was staring at Sirius's parted lips, as if he could see every word he could not say. Sirius swallowed, feeling the morning chill on his sweaty back.
Could one word be both his salvation and his curse?
Remus was leaning towards him, the tips of their noses touching. If Sirius said that word, it was as if he would take the other words himself. Remus did not take his hand off Sirius's, he gently placed his other hand on his neck. Sirius could not breathe. While trying to find the soul in front of him, he had lost himself in this soul. The sound of his heart had filled him. His heart was beating very fast, as if he did not want to stay in this body, but wanted to belong to the soul in front of him. Sirius knew that he could not get out of where he had lost himself and speak. He gently took Remus' hand from his neck and placed it on his chest, on his heart. Remus could find him there, and he did.
Remus closed his eyes, a look of pain on his face. His shoulders shook, Remus leaned forward and rested his head on Sirius' shoulder. Remus was crying silently, shaking on his shoulder. But he did not remove his hand from Sirius' chest. He removed his other hand from Sirius's and gripped the shirt on his back tightly.
Sirius could not cry because it hurt too much. He couldn't find the tears when he is so much in pain.
Sirius breathed in the scent of Remus's hair, buried his face in his hair. Remus’ soft hair caressed his cheeks. His hair smelled like milk chocolate and coconut. Sirius found something he didn't see in his dreams, the smell of this soul.
After a while, he lifted his head and felt his shirt wet with tears. He reached out to smooth up and down Remus's back, but he couldn't put his hand on his back, his hand remained hung in the air. He clenched his trembling hand into a fist and slowly moved it away from Remus's back.
Remus' hand, which he had placed on his chest, felt very heavy, like a stone. He could stand to be crushed under his hand, but Sirius felt that this hand was burning him. 'I'm okay with you burning me, but I won't let my ashes suffocate you, Remus.'
Remus had calmed down, but he didn't lift his head from his shoulder. Sirius knew what Remus was afraid of. Remus knew he wouldn't find what he was looking for in his eyes, he didn't dare to lift his head. Sirius didn't want Remus to go through this. He picked up his jacket, which had fallen behind him, with one hand, and dropped it over Remus' head and down his back. Remus pulled the jacket over his head, turned to the side, and covered his face. He slowly stood up and went to the window, going in.
Sirius picked up the pack of cigarettes next to him and quickly opened the pack to distract himself from thinking.
He struck his zippo to light the only remaining cigarette in the cigarette pack. Only then he noticed the cigarette he was holding in his hand. He unstrucked the zippo without lighting the cigarette. He squeezed the cigarette tightly in his palm.
And he abandoned himself to the thoughts in his mind.
If he apologized, Remus had said he would forget everything. However, forgiving wasn't forgetting, it was accepting. Remus still couldn't accept what Sirius had done. He wanted to forget everything that had happened, but he didn't want to leave Sirius. Sirius knew that both wouldn't happen at the same time. He knew that even if he said he forgave, Remus wouldn't trust him again. Sirius couldn't blame him for that.
Remus had said he would forgive him, but he wouldn't do it for himself, he would do it for Sirius. After seeing Sirius' wounds, he would ignore the betrayal he had been subjected to just to be with him. Sirius couldn't accept that.
Remus said he was so hurt and he couldn't even get angry at him. Sirius knew he was lying. He was angry but he was just burying it deep down and doesn't let it go. He was just keeping it inside.
One day last year, when he finished his detention and was taken to his dorm room by a prefect, he found Remus throwing all of his records against the wall. He hadn’t noticed Sirius because the record player was on full blast.
"For everything you do, I'd like to swallow you
And everyday I'm gonna blame you
Even if you justify every fucking bullshit lie, it only makes me want to break you"
The entire room was a mess. The floor was covered in broken records, thrown clothes, duvets, books. Curtains were ripped, glass was shattered. That’s all Sirius could see from the doorway. Remus was swearing and shouting with every record he threw at the wall.
"I fuckin' hate you
You're such a liar
I'd love to hang you
You're all the same to me
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you"
"FUCK YOU"
Sirius had come downstairs as quietly as he had come and sat in the common room, he was forbidden to go anywhere else. That night he slept on the couch in the common room. He didn't know who had put the room back to its original state afterwards, everything had been restored except for one thing.
Since he couldn't take his records home, from that day on he didn't have to give them to the others to keep for the summer.
Sirius knew that Remus was afraid of getting angry, which is why he hadn't wanted him around last year. How long could he hide his anger now? Sirius couldn't predict what would happen if Remus showed his anger. The only thing he was sure of was that Remus' anger would probably be innocent compared to what his own anger had caused.
The painful truth was that Sirius knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven, not because he did something terrible, but because he could cause something worse in the future. The others knew this fact too, and now, despite everything, they were trying to ignore it and talk to him. Maybe they could repeat the same mistake, but this time Sirius wouldn't let it happen. He would protect them from himself. Because fate had already been determined, fate had been determined the day Sirius received the mark. Sirius wasn't afraid of this fate, because no matter what, he would keep the others out of it. They would never find out, Sirius wouldn't let them know. If they did find out one day, they wouldn't be sad because there was nothing between them anymore, they wouldn't feel betrayed again, they wouldn't get angry again, they wouldn't get hurt again, he wouldn’t feel their hate.Sirius was comfortable knowing that he couldn't hurt them anymore. With that mark on his arm, they were impossible for each other. They were each other’s impossible.
Breakfast had taken longer than usual, as it was the weekend. The students were opening their mail and going over their Hogsmeade plans. Sirius was busy pushing the food on his plate aside with his fork. He caught Marlene's eye from the other end of the table and waved his hand. Marlene raised her hand for a moment, but then thought better of it, quickly moved her remaining hand to the glass in front of her, and never looked back in his direction.
Sirius had spent most of his time last year in detention or trying to catch up on the lessons he had missed. It wasn't like he had much free time, he could only rest. He didn't like being in the common room under the supervision of the prefect, so he usually stayed in the room. If he stayed in the common room, Remus would get up and leave. Sirius was also getting strange looks from the others. He had barely spoken to Marlene or the other girls last year. He hadn't been in the mood to talk to anyone for a while this year either. He was just starting to relax a little, starting to feel like nothing had happened. But it seemed that the polarities that everyone had silently accepted last year were still there.
The breakup of their friendship last year had been a big deal at school. Rumors and theories had been discussed for weeks. The most popular and closest to the truth was that Sirius had played a deadly prank on Snape, and that James had saved Snape from the Whomping Willow at the last moment, which was why James was angry at him. None of them had ever confirmed this rumor, but whenever James was mentioned as a hero, Snape would say out loud that they had actually made a murder plan to kill him. If Dumbledore hadn't convinced him or threatened him, he would probably have included Remus in his story, but now he knew he couldn't do that, and instead of just blaming Sirius, he was taking revenge by including James. That night, when he talked to Dumbledore, he had said that James hadn't saved him, that he was just covering behind his friends. But now he had changed his story, trying to repair his broken pride. Of course, no one believed him, on the contrary, the more he talked, the more they believed in their own theory.
The girls probably believed this story and cut ties with Sirius. If he asked a question, they would give short answers or, like Lily, not talk at all. Sirius wasn't too bothered by this. He could accept this story as long as no one suspected Remus. But even after all this time, he hadn't thought Marlene would act like this. Maybe it was best for everyone, he thought.
His thoughts were interrupted when McGonagall stood in front of him, McGonagall standing in front of him with the Hogsmeade documents to give to the prefects. Sirius thought that what he feared had happened, Hagrid had probably chosen to visit his furry multi-legged friend in the forest instead of signing and giving the detention paper. Just as he was about to curse Hagrid, McGonagall handed him a note, Sirius reached out and took it.
McGonagall walked towards the prefects without mentioning the detention. 'Hagrid must have given the detention paper to Minnie before he is eaten by his friend.' The mocking expression on his face remained until he opened the note.
02:00 p.m.
Dumbledore's office
Password Fizzing Whizbee
Lucius Malfoy
"What is it?" asked James.
He was standing where McGonagall was seconds ago, he sat down right across from him. Sirius had been aware that James had been trying to get close to him lately, most likely Remus had talked to James after tending to Sirius' wounds.But now they were acting like last year had never happened, it was getting on his nerves. They reminded him of his mother. At least his mother would make sure Sirius paid for his mistake.
"Don't tell me you got another detention. You are setting a new record." said while grinning.
"No, It's just a meeting."
"With who?"
"Why do you care ?" Sirius asked annoyed.
"What?"
"Don't waste your time with me. Don't leave him alone. I am not the one you should be sitting with."
"He is not alone,Sirius." said James, frowning.
"Thanks for agreeing the other parts then." snapped Sirius.
"Look, Sirius. I am here because I am trying to talk to you and you are making it impossible."
"Go head, no one is keeping you but I am done with your bloody morals and more sale of indulgences."
"Hell, that's not what I was gonna- Wait! you are doing it again."
"Doing what, Potter?"
"You're annoying me and distracting me, Black."
"I am barely doing nothing."
"Just shut up for a second. Listen, Sirius. Well I am not really sure how to say it."
"Are you confessing your love to me?"
"Sirius if you don't shut up your big bloody mouth, I am gonna put a silencing charm on you."
"Then get to the point, Potter."
"Well the point is you don't look like yourself anymore. Not just to me but to everyone. I get it, it is fine. It will take time for everyone of us. I have been thinking about it all summer. I have tried to understand why you have done it or how. I was so angry. It was the only thing I felt for a while. Then every day in the newspapers, the news of the murdered muggles, the dark mark being seen, the rising number of death eaters started to increase.All summer long whenever my father's friends from the ministry came to the house , I tried to listen to everything they said through the door until my mother caught me. They were talking about people with connections to the dark side, about the shifting side in the ministry, about the offered laws they were trying to stop. The names they mentioned were people close to you, people you lived with. Then all my anger turned into fear. Then I started waiting by the window during the day and in front of the fireplace at night, wondering if things went bad at your house, would you still come to me? I was paranoid for a while. Then whenever Remus came to us he waited with me. But you didn't show up and we kept waiting. Then all that was left of my fear was the pain. I know I said there was no turning back. But we don't need to, Sirius. I'm not saying let's forget everything, but we can start over."
"No, we can't." disrupted Sirius.
"Come on, Sirius. I know you better than I know myself. You are hurt as much as us. Remus wants to forgive you, just doesn't know how. Just help him, Sirius. Just show him you are worth it."
"I am not." As Sirius stood up, James grabbed his arm and made him sit back down.
"Hey hold on, I am not finished. Remus wanted us to talk to each other again. He felt guilty because we weren't talking. So I assured him it wasn't about him and I promised him I'll talk to you when I am ready to forgive you. And i wont let us split again. Any of us. I'll help you to talk with Remus. I won't leave you alone. I'll be with your side like I do with Remus. So come with us to Hogsmeade, let's go to the Three Broomsticks."
"I am sorry James. It's too late now. Even you can't change it. I can't come with you."
"Sirius..."
"No, thank you for forgiving me and for everything. I couldn't make it in time. It's my fault."
"What do you mean Pads?"
Sirius got up and headed for the exit. James ran after him and grabbed his arm again.
"What happened Sirius? Tell me what happened?"
"I am sorry I couldn't read the letters James." said Sirius trying to smile.
Sirius knew he should be happy that James said he forgave him, but he knew James did it out of fear. Because if anything happened to him, James wouldn't forgive himself, he would hold himself responsible. This wasn't really forgiveness, it was a bandage on a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding. It was the need to try to stop the bleeding even if it didn't.
The war that was beginning to appear was also beginning to affect their relationship. They would be in this war with their lives in the future, on the same side or not. Sirius would strike the fatal blow before the war came to the point of taking either of their lives.
Sirius was sitting in the back corner of the library in front of his textbooks. He knew that classes were not a priority, but he could not be expelled from school until he carried out his plans.At the beginning of the summer, as every summer, he had studied for the following year's lessons out of boredom. He couldn't remember much, but at least he could finish the homework.
When he looked up, he saw the clock hanging on the wall between the bookshelves.
Tick... Tock...Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...
He still had two hours until the meeting, he started with the homework assigned for the first Transfiguration class, he didn't want to get any extra scolding from McGonagall.
He arrived at Dumbledore's office before two o'clock, the office was empty. Sirius saw red wings flying over his head, the bird had landed on his own spot. Sirius thought this must be the Phoenix Hagrid had mentioned. Sirius approached the bird and stood at its level. Sirius saw a Phoenix for the first time in his life, he slowly raised his hand towards it. Phoenix tilted his head to the side and dropped a tear on Sirius's hands that had been cut while rolling in the forest yesterday. The cuts slowly closed.
Sirius was startled by the voice coming from behind him. He saw Narcissa and Lucius coming out of the fireplace. Lucius was coughing in his heavy robes covered in ash. Narcissa was also fixing Lucius' hair.
The moment she noticed him, he left Lucius standing there and sat in the single in front of the desk, she pointed to the single chair opposite her to Sirius, Sirius looked at Lucius one last time and realized he is not choking to death unfortunately , then he sulked and sat down.
"Hello cousin." said Narcissa.
"Hello cousin." replied Sirius.
"You okay, darling?" Narcissa turned to Lucius and asked.
"Yeah, you- cough- do -cough- it." Lucius was walking towards them.
"Yeah, I got this." Narcissa took out her wand and started to draw circles in the air, muttering silencing and protection spells. Lucius sat down in Dumbledore's place and put his feet up on the table. He took a candy from the crystal bowl and threw one at Sirius. Sirius caught it in midair, but didn't unwrap the candy. When Narcissa had finished her spells, she looked at Sirius.
"You look pale, are you okay cousin?"
"Oh we are not here for chit chat, darling, right?" Lucius turned to Sirius without waiting for an answer. "So, well, our little death eater, have you started working?"
"I found the right place."
"The right people?"
"If I move fast, I'll attract attention. I still have time."
"You don't have time, Sirius. If you linger too long, you'll be the first one to be crossed out. Especially after your visit with your father at our house this summer."
"How is he?" asked Sirius to Narcissa ignoring Lucius.
"He is getting better. He will be back soon. Rabastan is doing fine in the ministry with polyjuice potion. Better than Orion, actually. You can't imagine all the information he got. But he can't wander around too much. People started paying attention. Well, you can't hope forever if Slughorn shuts his big mouth. But it's not a big matter now. It's better for us if people don't think Orion has a psychopathic alter ego. You know Rabastan sometimes captures himself into the role with a big passion."
"Dark Lord knows? asked Sirius.
"He knows everything, Sirius." hissed Lucius reminding his presence.
"Don't need to be stressed out , Sirius. He is impressed by your action." said Narcissa calmly.
"By you poisoning your father to keep yourself alive." barged in Lucius.
"But he wanted me dead." said Sirius still focused on Narcissa.
"Yeah ,maybe before. But he saw your potential and you accepted the mark. So there is nothing to worry about." said Narcissa and flinched when Lucius threw a candy to Phoenix which remained unaffected and kept staring at Lucius.
"What about mom? She told me about the poison otherwise I couldn't change the glasses."said Sirius sticking the lie he told when he first took Orion to Malfoy Manor.
"Oh well, Bellatrix decided to change that part of the story. Here is the new version. Regulus hears Walburga talking with Bellatrix about the poison. Then he tells you what he heard."
"WHAT!" yelled Sirius standing up from the chair. "You can't put Regulus in this!"
"Don't yell at me! Sirius, sit down. It's Bellatrix. You never know how her brain works." said Narcissa clearly annoyed by Sirius' outburst.
"What will happen to Regulus?" Sirius asked.
"Sirius, my boy, stop being annoyingly dramatic. Just use your brain for a second. You remind me of Bellatrix." said Lucius, feet on the table, hands behind the head .
"Bellatrix is much smarter, Lucius, but I'm not saying anything about the drama part." frowned Narcissa.
"Yeah, you are quite right my darling." said Lucius with a disbelieving expression but apologetically.
"What will happen to Regulus?" Sirius asked again tired of them talking with each other as if he wasn't there.
"Oh, right. Well obviously nothing. He just heard about the poison. Not the person who will be poisoned. So he is safe, at least for now. "said Narcissa.
"Are you sure?"asked Sirius still thinking the worst case scenario.
"I feel like I owe an apology to Bellatrix. He is definitely like the other one, the disowned one." said Lucius while lighting his pipe.
"Lucius if you mention Bellatrix about her, you will not have enough time for your apology." said Narcissa stating a fact.
"Can't let her give the pleasure, I am afraid." said Lucius while smoking his pipe.
"So Bellatrix lied to the Dark Lord." said Sirius confused.
"Well technically she lied to her husband, Rodolphus, not the Dark Lord. So Rodolphus is the one who lied to the Dark lord. Well I am not actually sure if she lied to Rabastan or Rodolphus first or one of them passed it to another. Anyways if the Dark Lords learns about it, probably both of them will be gone for good. Two birds with one stone." said Narcissa, looking impressed by her sister.
"And will Bellatrix keep it as a secret?" asked Sirius still not sure.
"No wonder, you ended up in Gryffindor, Sirius. Gryffindors are not capable of mind games or in short just mind. Even the disowned one was in Slytherin. Apparently intelligence is not genetic. That's weird you know how the old man didn't end up in Gryffindor, right Cissy?"asked Lucius still not caring that no one was talking to him.
"Now is not the time to talk about him, Lucius." said Narcissa in an anxious manner.
"Talk about who?" asked Sirius.
"You should have seen it, Sirius. It was quite a show. I watched it from the front. Well, you know I had missed the first time. Never knew how enjoyable when someone gets disowned and wiped off the family tapestry." said Lucius glad to finally get the attention he wanted.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Who got disowned?" asked and standed up Sirius not sure if Lucius was playing a trick or not.
"Oh, you definitely got the same anger issues with him. Hush, calm down and sit." said Lucius irritating Sirius.
"Lucius, we are not allowed to." tried Narcissa.
"SAY IT!" yelled Sirius still standing.
"Don't you think it's better this way, Cissy? I mean you don't really get to have this everyday. Once in a lifetime experience." said Lucius. He was really enjoying himself.
"Spit it out! Lucius. Don't fucking play with me! If you don't talk, I swear I'm gonna rip your stupid hair from your stupid skull."
"Oh, definitely anger issues. It runs in the family with madness, I guess." said Lucius forgetting about his wife' presence.
"I don't agree." snapped Narcissa.
"Ah, yeah except my dear Cissy. What was I saying? Hmm, huh,I remembered now. Well, you know it's not really a secret in the family that you took the mark. Better stay that way. But you know some distant names from the family might have heard about it very recently and weren't agreed with it."
"Just. Give.Me.The.Name." said Sirius as if he were ready to carry out his threat at any moment.
"Why don't we talk about it when the right time comes?" asked Narcissa sensing Sirius' thoughts.
Lucius has just put the candy into his mouth. He suddenly started spitting it out.
"Blood traitors never have taste in anything and if this annoying creature -pointing to phoenix- keeps staring at me, I'm going to make Dobby take his head off." said Lucius grimacing.
"Calm down, darling. We are already done here. Sirius just get your progress until Christmas. You are expected at home with Regulus for Christmas break. I liked your old haircut better, by the way." said Narcissa standing up.
She held out his hand to Sirius. Sirius kissed it and then let go. Lucius, who was waiting for Narcissa in the fireplace, turned to Sirius.
"Careful, Sirius." Lucius hissed.
Sirius was already outside when the green flames rose. Sirius' mind was bombarded with questions. 'Is Regulus safe? How much of what happened did Regulus need to know? Who got disowned? Who are distant names from the family that cared about him? If they are distant then why would they even care?'
The corridors were empty since almost all the students had gone to Hogsmeade. It wasn't dark yet. Sirius walked to the Quidditch pitch, threw himself down on the grass, and put the last of his cigarette behind his ear.