Secrets in the corridors
Regulus sat miserably on the Slytherin table. He wanted to cry, scream, tear the bloody place apart, just do something. He glanced towards the Gryffindor table once more, he was supposed to be there, he was supposed to be there with Sirius. Regulus couldn’t tell if he was mad or sad or… both? He didn’t know how to feel, what to feel. He just knew he had disappointed his brother, and nothing hurt more than that.
Then, James’ soft brown eyes met his, and Regulus’ world stopped for a moment. His insides lurched just by the power that James’ gaze held. Oh, he was down bad for him. James smiled at him, but it wasn’t that attractive smile of his, it was a smile that said, ‘I’m just smiling to try to be nice, don’t get any ideas.’ It was a fake smile, it was forced. Regulus groaned and hid his face behind his hands. That had been the last thing he wanted.
Pity.
Then, his mind couldn’t help but think,
You’re a joke, Regulus. What a pathetic excuse for a human being!
You could do better, Regulus. You should do better, Regulus.
Tonight was the proof of how weird you are. You and your weirdness disgust your brother.
Freak.
Freak!
Freak!!
“—lus, Regulus!” Someone snapped their fingers right in his ear.
He flinched. “What?” He asked, annoyed, not daring to remove his hands off his face. He could feel his own eyes watering and he would not let the entire school see that.
“The food’s getting cold.”
Food?
“Huh?” He peeked through one of his fingers. There was, indeed, food in front of him.
Barty elbowed him on his rib. Regulus’ hands flew to touch the pained area, covering it from Barty. “What was that for?” He asked.
“For being distracted. The food’s been there for like… ten minutes.” Barty said.
He scoffed. “Well, I’m sorry, but there are more important things than food in this world.”
Barty snorted. “Well, I think it should be a priority for you,” he eyed him up and down, “since you’re so skinny.”
“Hey! I’m not that skinny!” Regulus protested.
Barty snorted again. “Sure, but I’m warning you, if you don’t eat that food then I will.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. He wasn’t that skinny. Or… was he? Well, he knew that he had a rather… slim complexion, you could even see his spine and ribs if he put on a thin shirt, but they were barely visible. Barty was simply making fun of him. It wasn’t that big deal, really, he was exaggerating.
Of course that Regulus sometimes couldn’t help but stare at other guys and see that they were… fit. They had abs, muscles and biceps to die for, and Regulus didn’t. He never had them. It had bothered him before, many times, actually, but he had never done anything to change it. He had simply accepted the fact that he wasn’t like that, but it always upset him when people brought it up.
Suddenly, his eyes were starting to burn. The Hall felt way too crowded for him, too many voices, too many sounds, it was just… too much. He felt overwhelmed and a bit dizzy. And Barty’s comment had done nothing but complicate things. He felt his own lip quivering and it was right then that he knew he needed to get out of there.
“For all I care you can eat the whole damn Hall if you want to, Barty. I’m leaving.” He stood up, not caring if he hurt Barty’s feelings, he could feel bad about it later, now he just needed to leave.
He felt eyes following him as he left the Hall in a hurry, but he couldn’t care. He pushed the doors open and ran away. He made it through some corridors when he felt the tears running through his cheeks. He stopped and took a deep breath.
Don’t make such a fuss, Regulus. Pull yourself together.
He wiped his tears furiously and bit his lips, preventing any sob from escaping. He slowly made his way behind one statue, not wanting to get in the way of any student. He pressed his back against it and once it made contact his knees gave away, he crumpled to the floor. By now he was biting his lips so hard he could taste blood.
He cried silently for a while. Just staring through the window in front of him. The view was rather beautiful, such a shame he was inside. After a few minutes he could breathe again, the air had reached his lungs and his mind had cleared a bit. He didn’t feel dizzy anymore and the overwhelming sensation had lessened. Just when he was about to stand up, he heard some hurried steps coming through the corridor.
He hid behind the statue again. Suddenly, the steps stopped, he couldn’t hear much movement anymore, but someone was still out there. He could hear a faint agitated breathing.
“—He can’t just leave it in the castle!” A voice said.
Another voice scoffed —McGonagall’s, Regulus thought. “Hogwarts is the safest place, besides Gringotts.”
“Then he should’ve left it there! It had been safe in vault 713!”
“Oh, don’t be paranoid, Horace! Albus knows what he’s doing. Have some faith in him.”
“It’s not that I don’t—”
“Do you trust Albus?”
“Oh, don’t start, Minerva. You know I do!”
“Then I don’t see the problem.”
“Minerva—”
“Leave it to him.” McGonagall said, Regulus could hear she took some steps back, “Now, have a good night, Horace.” Some more steps and then nothing. They were gone.
Regulus hesitantly stood up, he made sure no one was looking before he walked through the corridor where the professors had been talking. He frowned. What could they possibly be talking about?
Leave what here?
And why would safety be related with this?
Vault 713?
Oh Merlin.
Regulus shook his head and pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Whatever those two had been talking about was none of his business. He would leave it.
For now.
Sleeping that night had been hard. When he had gotten to the Slytherin common he whispered an apology to Barty, giving him a poor explanation of the reason he had left. Barty also apologised to him once Regulus confessed that he didn’t like talking about his appearance. He had also mentioned that he had been sarcastic, now saying that Regulus could easily pull up his brother’s best friend.
Regulus hit him hard on the head. Barty had watery eyes but he kept laughing and saying that it had been worth it. Eventually, Regulus joined him too and laughed. That bastard. At least they were okay, he hadn’t scared the only person who seemed to tolerate him. So… good. That was good.
When he got into bed he thought of the conversation between McGonagall and Slughorn. There was something about the way they had been talking, like they were… afraid or worried, that part made Regulus a bit uncomfortable. What could be so important? Curiosity was taking over him, but really, it was none of his business.
Then his mind went back to the sorting. It had been horrible. I mean, at least he got to hang out with Barty in Slytherin, but he had lost his brother. Well, not exactly, they could still talk to each other, but they wouldn’t be that close now. Regulus was certainly nervous, Sirius had looked angry at him, but it would pass. It had to, right? Sirius couldn’t stay mad at him forever, could he?
Ugh, I hate my life.
Regulus’ mind kept telling him that everything was wrong and that he had messed up everything, but after one hour of overthinking and a long day, sleep was gaining over Regulus. His mind was drifting off.
So yawning, and thinking of his brother, Regulus closed his eyes and let himself fall into sleep.