United I Stand

Ruby speaks up first. “Actually, it could be pretty fun to try Freeze Steven tag—”

“How about less dangerous activities?” suggests Sapphire.

Ruby harrumphs, but there’s no real anger in it. Sapphire’s just a spoilsport, that’s all.

Steven takes Sapphire’s suggestion to heart and really thinks about safe activities as he slurps up the rest of his cereal. Then an idea hits him. “Garnet can play the keytar!” he cries as he slams the bowl down on the breakfast bar.

Sapphire and Ruby look at each other. Finally Sapphire just out and says it, albeit gently. “Garnet’s not here, Steven.”

“No, but a keytar is basically a combination between a keyboard and a guitar, right? Can you play the piano and the guitar when you’re separate?”

“Maybe?”

Steven blinks at the uncertain response. “Have you… not tried it?”

“We don’t really do alone time, remember?” Ruby reminds him. She shrugs. “Greg wanted to start a band with us back when he first met your mom, and he gave Garnet a list of instruments that would work with what everyone else was playing. The keytar is just the one that felt right.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean we can’t see if you like the piano and guitar now!” says Steven. He scurries to grab his ukulele and, because she’s closest, shoves it into Sapphire’s hands. “I know this isn’t the same as the guitar, but it’s the best we have for now. Go on, try it!”

Sapphire hesitates for only one bemused moment before plucking experimentally at the strings.

“Oh, wait, sorry! It’s out of tune.” Steven snatches it back, does a couple of quick adjustments to the string tension, and then hands the ukulele back to her. “Try it now.”

As one might imagine, chords on a keytar don’t necessarily translate to ukuleles. Sapphire has Garnet’s memories of human instruments and how they work, but that doesn’t necessarily translate either. Just because she is half of Garnet doesn’t mean she has any of Garnet’s muscle memory. After mindlessly strumming for about a minute or so she passes the lightweight instrument off to Ruby. “I don’t think strings are for me. You try it.”

Ruby, who had been watching with increasing interest as Sapphire played, looks to Steven now. “Hey, show me a couple of chords?”

Steven is more than happy to oblige, and within thirty minutes Ruby is laboriously playing through a simple four-chord song.

“Ruby, you’re a natural!” cries Steven with delight. “We should go to the music store in town and see if Sapphire likes keyboards or pianos.”

“We could check Amethyst’s room, too; I swear Garnet’s seen a keyboard or two in there before,” Ruby mutters, her head down and focus still on the ukulele. Practicing is uncomfortable and awkward because she’s never had to place her fingers in these positions on anything before, and you have to press harder than you think in order to get proper resonance from the ukulele, but she thinks she’s finally getting the hang of it.

“I know where to find one,” Sapphire says of the keyboard. “It’s still in good condition, too.”

“You should give it a try, Sapphy,” Ruby tells her, only briefly glancing up. However, doing that makes her lose her concentration, and the A chord she’s trying for rings sour. “It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you ended up liking pianos and stuff.”

“Do you need help?” asks Steven.

Sapphire smiles. “With my speed, I’ll be back before you know it.”

She isn’t joking, either. As soon as the temple door is open wide enough, Sapphire is gone. Ruby hasn’t stumbled through the first half of her four-chord song before the door opens again and suddenly Sapphire is back and securing the metal stand for a pretty impressive looking keyboard. It only looks to be about ten years old—quite new, considering the age of some of Amethyst’s junk.

Steven frowns at something Sapphire pulls from a pocket she apparently has in the folds of her skirts. “What is—oh, batteries.” Of course Sapphire would know that the thing needed new batteries. Steven watches with interest as Sapphire turns it on and experiments with its basic sound settings.

“That makes two of us,” Sapphire says as she adlibs an off-sounding version of chopsticks on the keyboard. She probably didn’t start in the right spot.

“Huh?” is Steven’s entirely confused reply.

“You were going to say you didn’t know anything about pianos or something like that, right?” says Ruby after a quick glance at the situation.

“He was,” Sapphire agrees.

“Oh, that! Yes, that’s true,” Steven realizes. His cheeks color slightly, and he flashes a sheepish grin. “Sorry, Sapphire. I guess I’m not used to having something heard before I’ve said it! I bet that can be pretty useful when time is of the essence, huh?”

“I suppose,” Sapphire says, but Ruby can hear the soft smile in her voice. “Nobody’s phrased it quite like that before.”

Ruby doesn’t look up from the song she’s still doggedly strumming her way through, but she can feel herself smiling as well. Of course Steven would look at it that way. Of course he would. He’s Steven.

“That’s right! Sapphire, you need music sheets.” Steven screws his mouth up and crosses his arms, clearly taking this conundrum seriously. “Maybe there’s some online…?”

There is a small pause before Sapphire breaks it to him, “Even if you found them, Steven, I wouldn’t know how to read them.”

“…Oh.”

Ruby can’t help the way she giggles. The way that Steven acts, you’d think that this revelation is nothing short of a tragedy. How is Sapphire supposed to explore playing the piano if she can’t read the sheet music?

Sapphire, also realizing Steven’s deflated demeanor, compromises, “Why don’t you find a video of a piano piece, and I can try playing it by ear.”

It’s probably going to work well enough to make Steven happy. Sapphire doesn’t suggest things that don’t work.

Sure enough, Steven is all over it. The search engine (Moogle) has never worked so fast, Ruby’s sure. “Okay, we need absolute silence so Sapphire can figure this out,” he says solemnly.

He’s talking to her, isn’t he?

Ruby obligingly stalls the vibrating ukulele strings with her hand just as lilting piano music fills the kitchen from the tiny speaker on Steven’s phone. The song is way more complex than anything Ruby would be able to follow—too many subtle differences in tones, she gets bored and begins to gloss over the details—but the angle of Sapphire’s plump lips betrays only careful consternation as she watches the tiny piano player in the video. She flexes her slender gloved fingers as if she can’t wait to get started, or perhaps to prepare them for the exercises they will soon be experiencing.

“One more time, please?” she says when the 1:35 minute long video is over.

Steven waits with bated breath the second time around. “This is going to be cool, isn’t it?” he says as Sapphire settles behind the keyboard.

Ruby just plucks at the ukulele, casually strumming a D chord. There’s something about the way the instrument seems to come alive in her hands that she already loves. No wonder Steven loves this thing.

As one might expect, Sapphire isn’t a piano playing genius her first time around, but it doesn’t sound awful, either. She’s jerry rigging the chords so that, when she’s at her best, it almost sounds right, but only formal training would be able to fix it.

Steven waits with bated breath until the song is over. “What did you think, Sapphire?” he asks, his hands curled up by his chin, barely containing his excitement. “Is it true? Do you like piano while Ruby likes guitar?”

Sapphire pauses—for dramatic effect, Ruby can tell—and then says, “Yes.”

“That’s so cool! You’re actually really good at piano for someone who’s never played before. I mean, I know I couldn’t play that good.”

“That well, Steven.”

“What’s well, Sapphire?”

“She’s correcting you on your grammar,” Ruby informs him.

“What was wrong with it?”

Ruby laughs as the corners of Sapphire’s mouth tighten. Still, Sapphire is the one to say, “Steven, why don’t we play something else?”

“Okay, let’s go outside!” He glances out the window by the screen door, taking in the streaks of sunshine with a serene smile. “It’s a beautiful day, don’t you think?”

Really, he’s so much like Rose sometimes that it almost hurts.

Ruby smiles. She sets the ukulele down and hops from the barstool. “Hey Steven, I’ll race ya to the ocean!”

It’s actually a pretty fair game, all things considered. Ruby’s still shorter than Steven, and even though she’s a pureblooded gem she doesn’t have Sapphire’s speed. Still, she’s a gem, so of course she wins.

Steven gives her an honest run for her money, though. No pun intended. The kid may be chubby, but he can run through sand like nobody’s business. It’s a skill, let Ruby tell you.

“You were really giving it your all, buddy,” Ruby says, leaning over the boy as he falls back into the sand, panting. “Nice hustle! I’m impressed!”

“Thanks,” Steven huffs, though he does have the presence of mind to high five her when she offers her gem-free palm.

“Oh, nice of you to finally join us,” remarks Ruby, her arms playfully akimbo as Sapphire (who didn’t even bother to run, much less run fast) floats onto the sand on Steven’s other side in a gentle billowing of her petticoats.

“I was getting a water bottle for Steven.” Steven is quite grateful for the gesture, though, so Ruby can’t tease much more than this. If Sapphire had been trying, nobody else would have won the race, and that’s a fact.

 “Okay!” Suddenly recharged, Steven sits up. He hammers one fist into the other in a distinctly business-like manner. “That was fun, but we need to have more of it! Let’s go down to the boardwalk!”

“And do what?” asks Ruby as her curiosity gets the better of her.

“I don’t know yet, but at the very least I can introduce you guys to everyone there!”

“What happened to being surprise buddies, Ruby?” asks Sapphire.

Her tone is perfectly innocent, but Ruby frowns and narrows her eyes over at her anyway. “I’m going to have this, whether you like it or not,” she says with a wag of her index finger.

“Of course you are. I’ve never said anything to the contrary.”

“You’re thinking it. You don’t think I can go a whole day without finding out what will happen next.”

“You can’t prove that right now.”

Steven’s head pops up between them. He waggles his eyebrows. “Is this a friendly wager I hear?” He pauses. “This is all for fun, right?”

“Yes, Steven,” says Sapphire with a soft smile. “We’re not being serious.”

Steven is instantly placated. “Oh, good! So, what does Ruby get if she wins?”

“Bragging rights.”

“It’s all I need, really,” Ruby agrees with an amiable shrug. “Being right is its own reward.”

“Well, okay!” One of the best things about Steven is his lack of follow up questions. It’s ever even occurred to him to wonder why wielding bragging rights towards your prescient partner are so important (though perhaps, Ruby thinks now, it may also be self-evident).

“So Sapphire, what do you want if you win?” asks Steven.

“Hm.” Sapphire makes a show of considering this. Ruby crosses her arms, and Steven gets antsier for the wait. Eventually, though, Sapphire just says, “Ruby already knows.”

Ruby jolts. “Knows what?”

“But Steven wants to know, too!”

“Oh, you’ll find out in good time, Steven. Just be patient.”

Is she being cryptic on purpose? “Are you trying to imply that I’m going to lose?” she asks Sapphire.

“Considering the nature of this wager, are you sure you want to be asking questions like that, Ruby?”

That’s when it dawns on her. Sapphire is doing this on purpose to get a rise out of Ruby so she’ll win. Ruby furrows her brows and shakes a finger at the blue gem standing oh-so-innocently in front of her. I’m on to you. “Why, you little—”

“I’m taller than you. Not exactly what you’d call ‘little’.”

That is so relative it’s not even funny!

What’s worse is that Ruby can tell from the tension at the corner of Sapphire’s lips that she is absolutely loving this. Ruby doesn’t know whether to be happy that Sapphire is happy, or aggravated for being the potential—eventual? She really wasn’t clear on that—butt of the joke. It’s a very conflicting way to feel.

“I think I’m missing something,” Steven decides. “Anyway—come on, Ruby and Sapphire! Let’s go to the boardwalk!”

They walk on either side of him. After a couple yards, Steven reaches out and holds their hands. They both smile. He’s too big for them to pick him up and swing him by the arms, but judging from the happy little swings he’s doing anyway he acknowledges this as well, and doesn’t mind.

It’s midmorning, which means that all of the businesses along the boardwalk are open. As such, Steven has race up to enthusiastically introduce them to every person he knows (and at this point he’s got quite a rolodex of Beach City contacts, all of whom apparently hang out on the boardwalk).

“Onion! Hey, Onion! Good morning, how are you?”

Onion, true to form, only stares.

“Onion, I want to introduce you to Ruby and Sapphire!” Steven steps to the side and gestures gallantly. You can practically hear the show tunes playing in his head.

Onion doesn’t speak.

“Err, hiya,” Ruby tries for the sake of keeping Steven happy. She waves, but keeps her gem-hand clenched protectively at her side. There’s something about this kid that’s always given her the willies.

“Nice to meet you,” Sapphire inclines her head politely.

Still, Onion says nothing. Onion emotes nothing. Onion simply is.

Not even corrupted gems are this unnerving.

“Well, okay,” says Steven slowly. His tone betrays the fact that he knew this would happen, but he had been hoping for a better result anyway. “We’re going to keep going now. Nice seeing you, Onion!”

When they move on, so does Onion. It is, Ruby thinks, better for everyone that this happen.

“Oh, there’s The Big Donut! Come on, I’ll introduce you to Lars and Sadie—they’re crazy for each other, too!” Steven laughs as he races on ahead.

“How much more of this are we going to have to do?” mutters Ruby. At this point it’s downright automatic for Sapphire and herself to drift in to fill the space that Steven has vacated to fall into step with each other in the bright morning sunshine.

“Did you just ask for spoilers?” wonders Sapphire. “You, a surprise buddy?”

“Okay, 1) we’re changing that name as soon as Steven stops dragging us around long enough for me to think of it, and 2) No, Sapphire, I didn’t just ask for spoilers. In fact, I wasn’t talking to you at all, I was talking to myself!”

“If you say so,” she hums in singsong. “But it seems to me like this is going to be a lot harder than you thought.”

Is that a challenge?

“Trust me, babe,” says Ruby resolutely. “It won’t be. I went for thousands of years without knowing what came next, and I can do it again just as easily!”

Sapphire makes a doubtful noise, but Ruby can tell she’s only doing it to inspire a reaction. She is having way too much fun with this.

“There you are! Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you behind,” says Steven as he opens the door to The Big Donut for them. “Okay, so Lars and Sadie: This is Ruby and Sapphire!” He gestures grandly once more. He’s actually managed to strike a different pose for every person they’ve spoken to this morning. Frankly, Ruby’s impressed.

“Oh no,” Lars says, instantly going pale. “You didn’t tell me they were magical friends.”

“I said they were Crystal Gems. What part of that doesn’t imply magic?”

“The part where Lars wasn’t listening,” says Sadie frankly. She waves and smiles at the pair in the shops doorway. “Nice to meet you both! I really like your headband, Ruby!”

“My—?” Ruby reaches up to her forehead, and when she feels the ribbon there she realizes what Sadie has been referring to. “Oh, thanks!” She hasn’t had this form for so long that sometimes she forgets what it looks like.

“Isn’t it really hot in that dress, though?” Sadie says of Sapphire’s outfit. She displays a sympathetic wince. “I mean, we are on a beach.”

“I have ways of regulating heat,” Sapphire replies.

Ruby can’t help herself. The double entendres littering this conversation are just too much! She bursts out laughing. “Yeah, she does!” cackles Ruby, slapping her thigh. “I would know!”

“Was that…?” asks Lars, disbelieving. What, he’s never heard a gem make a joke before?

Well, to be fair, Garnet and Pearl and Amethyst want exactly nothing to do with him—Garnet finds the skinny human boy with the odd stretched out ears annoying, to be honest—so it’s actually possible that Ruby caring so little about his presence that she makes a joke anyway is something new to him.

“Ha, element joke!” bursts out Steven. It’s not what Ruby’s talking about, but it’s a solid interpretation nonetheless. It’s also PG, which is important.

“I, uh, think I’m missing something,” says Sadie. She is trying to smile, but it’s faltering in her bafflement. “Element joke?”

“Yeah! Ruby and Sapphire can make things hot and cold!” Steven informs her. “It’s really easy for them. They do it without even trying!”

That’s a… generous way to refer to the Keystone Motel.

Lars scoffs and crosses his skinny arms. “Well, I don’t believe it!”

“Would it be terrible if I did a demonstration?” wonders Ruby.

“I don’t know, are you asking me or are you still talking to yourself?” says Sapphire idly.

“Myself, obviously,” Ruby growls under her breath. Stupid wager.

“I talk to myself sometimes too!” says Steven supportively. “Mostly when I’m cleaning up my room, though.”

“See?” Lars snorts derisively. “I knew it was all a bunch of hot air.”

How does Steven call this kid his BFF? Is he being ironic?

Lars tries to go around Sadie and into the back room, but instead of taking a step as he obviously planned he instead topples over. “What the…?” floats up from behind the counter.

“Your shoes.” Sadie is either fascinated or terrified. “They’ve been frozen to the floor!”

Ruby looks over at Sapphire. Her expression isn’t betraying a damn thing, but there is literally no one else who could have done that.

“You know what?” Ruby decides, unable to wipe the big ol’ grin off of her face. “I’m glad I didn’t see that coming. The surprise only made it funnier!”

“Yeah, surprise buddies!” Steven holds out a hand for the obligatory high five.

Ruby does oblige. However, she can’t keep it in any longer, “Steven, we really need to change that name.”