A Cry For Reaction, Part I
Garnet is supposed to be a leader. For the most part, she thinks she does well. The Crystal Gems follow orders, anyway, and while Pearl and Amethyst bicker they are all still a solid team—a family—at the end of the day. For her, that is a job well done.
Can they still say that now?
No, of course they can. Just because she got herself caught up in the easygoing charisma of Sardonyx and failed to see what had really been going on—well, none of that matters now. It will all be okay, eventually. Most futures indicate that it will, anyway. That’s close enough.
It hurts.
Garnet is a leader. She can’t be petty. How many minor transgressions has she allowed to roll off her shoulders now? And no harm has ever come of that. She can do it again.
But this isn’t a minor transgression, like someone wandering into the burning room when they aren’t supposed to. This is a fundamental betrayal of implicit trust. Pearl should have known better—
But Pearl obviously didn’t know better. The Crystal Gems have a lot on their plates. Malachite is apparently on the move, Peridot is cobbling together distress signals to Yellow-freaking-Diamond, and who knows what other cluster-esque nightmares Homeworld might be dreaming up on the other side of the galaxy or even here, right under their noses—a severe lack of internal cohesion amongst the Crystal Gems is the very last thing they need right now. The sooner they can put this whole Sardonyx debacle behind them, the better.
When Garnet hears that Greg Universe is taking Steven out of state for a day, she immediately invites herself along. Greg is clearly bemused, but he rolls with it and that’s all that matters. The change of scenery will help, she thinks. She can finally cool down and move on.
That’s not how it works. You can’t shove hurt like this away like it means nothing.
Greg tries to strike up a conversation on the drive to the Keystone Motel, but Garnet isn’t in any mood to play along, not even when Steven chimes in. After a couple of tries, they give up and talk amongst themselves. Garnet stays silent, her mind a maelstrom of contrasting opinions.
This is bigger than that. Personal feelings can’t matter when it comes time to defend your friends and family. Your home.
Steven gasps at the sight of the motel room, excited. He’s never stayed in a motel or a hotel before, so this is an entirely new experience for him. “I’m gonna swim in the pool, order a movie, get free ice! It’s gonna be great!” And he immediately belly flops onto the bed closest to the bathroom.
Is this really ‘home’ right now?
Greg tries to sound glib as he says something about bedbugs, but Garnet isn’t listening.
That is uncalled for, melodramatic, and untrue. If this place isn’t home, then home doesn’t exist.
Garnet can’t hold in her grunt of annoyance as she carries in everyone’s luggage. Maybe coming on this road trip wasn’t a good idea. She doesn’t like the idea of showing her own structural instability in front of Steven, but with the way things are going she might not have a choice in the matter much longer.
The concept itself is a bit amorphous anyway, isn’t it?
“Good news, we’re bedbug free!” Greg announces as Garnet sits on the end of the second bed with open hands resting on her knees. Just keep it together.
No. Enough of that.
The team needs a leader, someone who is calm and logical. Someone they can trust to handle internal conflicts and efficiently direct them through the process of defending Earth from whatever Malachite and Homeworld and Peridot have in store. Things are going to come to a head very soon, and the Crystal Gems need to be ready for it. They need to be strong, to be a team.
Greg’s phone blings. “Oh, that’s my cue! Hey, do you mind holding down the fort until I get back?”
But it hurts.
Garnet hears Greg as if from miles away, but she gets the gist of it. It’s all she can do to maintain her composure long enough to create a thumbs up. See, she’s listening.
A good leader can be the bigger gem and forgive that.
Garnet maintains the thumbs up as Greg Universe says something about the internet and the police and takes his leave.
This isn’t like all of the other times. It’s way, way worse. Forgiving this—ignoring this—is like saying it’s okay to flagrantly disregard and disrespect everything that defines us. It is not okay.
The thumbs up fades.
There is no time to dwell on this.
“Garnet, jump on the bed with me!” cries Steven as he flops on the striped comforter. He’s keen on getting her attention, making her talk, but she can barely hear him through the cacophony in her head.
Make time.
“Or we can read brochures! Ooh, Keystone Caverns…”
Put this incident into perspective.
Perspective? You put it in our perspective!
Garnet groans with effort, cinching her fists around her knees. Just keep it together. Made of love, right?
“Calm down.”
“I don’t feel like forgiving Pearl!”
Garnet can feel herself shaking uncontrollably. This isn’t good.
“You don’t understand, you must.”
Garnet clutches at her shoulders. She’s trying to hold herself together, but they’re pushing away, and right now they’re reclaiming what is theirs, so there’s not much left of her to protest right now.
“If you’re not going to listen, then you can just go!”