A Cry For Reaction, Part II
Sapphire doesn’t get angry. Not anymore. She learned a long time ago that it’s not good for her and Ruby to be upset at the same time, and since Ruby obviously can’t control herself in that regard, it’s up to Sapphire to be the calm one.
So she frosts the motel room a little bit. And apparently freezes the toilet to the point where it becomes unusable. The air conditioner wasn’t working very well, anyway, and in Keystone that’s just asking for a humid, muggy room. Really, Sapphire is doing everyone a favor by cooling the place down.
Put it in our perspective.
Does she notice the ice crystals that form around her like a makeshift throne as she and Steven chat and watch TV? Yes. That’s not because she’s furious, though. Fury happens once you raise your voice and start gesturing sharply. Anything up until that point is annoyance, which—while somewhat troublesome—is still ultimately benign. Sapphire isn’t incensed, because she makes absolutely sure her voice is calm, calm, calm.
It hurts.
As for the sharp gesturing part, Sapphire’s got that covered because she’s just not moving right now. She doesn’t shift about once depositing herself onto the bed (except to politely incline her head towards Steven every once in a while) because she doesn’t feel the need to, thank you very much. It’s not because her brand of rage swirls up and engulfs her so completely that her limbs are cemented in place, and she doesn’t have the energy to spare on lifting a hand because she’s too focused on trying to keep it all contained. Perhaps that would be possible, if Sapphire were irate right now. But she doesn’t get angry, so it’s not. Anger is a choice. Feelings are a choice, and right now Sapphire is choosing to abstain.
You’re not as above this as you think you are.
Pearl made a mistake. Mistakes happen. Right now the Crystal Gems need Garnet’s levelheaded confidence far more than they need brutalized feelings and trust ground into a fine, fine powder. Sapphire stands by what she told Ruby: the sooner they forgive Pearl, the better. They have to think about more than just themselves, and it’s all going to be resolved soon anyway, so what’s the point on dwelling on it?
Don’t you feel used?
They have to forgive Pearl eventually. That’s how friendship—how family—works. They’ve known each other far too long for the possibility of another resolution to be statistically significant. What Sapphire wants has nothing to with it; it can’t, because as soon as she starts thinking about what she wants—
Nope, not happening.
The ice crystals that are clinging to her skirt and the comforter look rather pretty in the light of the TV, don’t they?
She hopes Ruby comes back soon. For all of her other flaws (inadvertently burning the carpet in the room and leaving behind the distinct stench of singed hair included), Ruby never pulls punches with her honesty. At least someone doesn’t.
It’s going to be so nice, once they all start laughing together again. Good, just focus on that.
Ruby’s temper is maelstrom and fire. She knows this. How can she not? She literally burns from it. Anger flows hot, hot, hot when it courses through her, like combusting nitroglycerine. It’s not the kind of emotion you can feel standing still. Pacing, sparring, punching things—they all work just as well. Working off some of that scorching energy isn’t the most effective pressure valve, granted, but it’s a hell of a lot better than keeping still.
The more Ruby cares, the hotter she has the potential to burn. Once she considers something or someone important, they instantly develop the potential to make or break her. It’s not a choice she makes lightly, because it is often an irreversible process. It explains why she takes trust and betrayal so seriously.
Sapphire is the only thing that has ever made Ruby feel this fulfilled and happy, calm and warm instead of too hot.
Ironically, nothing and no one can make her angrier than Sapphire.
It’s the way she shuts down, mostly. The way she refuses to react. When she’s most upset, Sapphire has a way of encapsulating herself in a frosty cocoon of apathy so thick that not even Ruby can break through. Back in Containment Unit 6, she bottled everything up until it exploded, usually when they were sparring—it was belated, but at least it got out. Now, she simply makes sturdier bottles to stuff everything in. They’ve been fused for so long that Ruby knows exactly what Sapphire’s doing, even if she can’t stop her. But she nonetheless expects Ruby to believe it when she says she’s going to forgive Pearl for being the gem who cried fusion, just like that.
Frankly, it’s insulting. When she asks Sapphire a direct question—don’t you feel used?—she expects a direct answer, not some deadpan bull about how Ruby’s not looking at the bigger picture. Who the hell does she think she’s talking to? Which one of them is she trying to fool, really?
Just because you tell yourself you don’t feel anything doesn’t mean it’s actually true. If nothing else, Ruby knows she has that right. When Sapphire spent the better part of a century stewing in resentment because she couldn’t tell if they were actually friends, it took them nearly killing each other in order for her to work it all out. Like hell Sapphire is ready to forgive Pearl right now.
They discovered fusion together. Garnet is the most influential, incredible, and intimate thing to ever happen to them; she has defined Ruby and Sapphire’s existence for millennia now. Fusion is not correct or legitimate unless there is clear-eyed consent from every participant, which is the principle they deliberately and methodically drilled into all of the gems they taught fusion to. Including Pearl.
The moment Pearl disregarded the sanctity of fusing with full disclosure, she disregarded Ruby’s trust. It’s as simple as that. She ruined Sardonyx.
All of that, and Sapphire says she’s not upset. Sapphire says that Ruby is being unreasonable. Sapphire says they’re all going to make up sometime in the foreseeable future, so she’s going to speed up the process by forgiving Pearl now. Sapphire is trying so hard to keep the team together and make everybody happy that she is pointedly denying anything that she herself may feel.
Who does that?
She’s plenty pissed enough on her own, but if Sapphire won’t get angry for herself then Ruby is more than happy to be angry for her. Then she’ll also get angry at Sapphire for not having the self-respect to be incensed for her own sake. Just splash some more nitroglycerin on this bonfire, baby. Crank up the thermostat! Ruby doesn’t mind the heat.
The secret to swimming through lava? Be hotter than the lava. After that, it’s not so bad.