United I Stand

Unfusing is difficult these days.

“Happy birthday, Steven!” says Pearl warmly as Steven trudges down from his loft. They’re all already in the kitchen, as they’ve been for hours while Pearl methodically goes about baking and frosting his birthday cake. There is going to be an actual party later on tonight, but the Crystal Gems wanted to give him something from just them, too.

Garnet is a sensual being. She delights in the simple physicality of being alive. She loves being able to run, and breathe, and punch great white sharks for group photos in the early 1900’s (or was that still the 1800’s? Eh, doesn’t matter). The fact that her body is an illusionary construct doesn’t change the fact that she takes joy in its existence. Everything she is screams testament to that, from her body’s dramatically feminine curves to the fact that she is always the first to rush into a fight, gauntlets at the ready.

“Woo, Ste-man!” Amethyst whoops, pumping a fist in the air. “You survived another year!”

Much of her existential exhilaration is credited to the very bond that sustains her, it’s true. If Sapphire and Ruby didn’t love being this close to each other, then Garnet would not be as great of an experience as she is.

Garnet smiles. “Happy birthday, Steven.”

At the same time, though, Garnet really doesn’t understand how Ruby and Sapphire voluntarily relinquished the feel of sun and rain and wind on their skin, or the rush of adrenaline that comes from facing off with a monster and winning, or just the meditative feeling that comes from resting on the couch in Steven’s room with an ankle on one knee and her elbows propped on the backrest. If she were in their position, she wouldn’t be quite so willing to just give that up. She isn’t willing. It takes a very, very good reason to make Garnet split apart. Nothing less will do.

Steven, being Steven, excitedly oohs and ahhs over the cake. He grasps each of them in a hugely affectionate embrace, and chatters happily about the birthday shenanigans he and Connie and his other friends will get up to at the party tonight. It isn’t until he’s had a piece of the cake (they have to stop Amethyst from eating the rest—“Half? What do you mean, I have to leave at least half?!”) and has settled at the breakfast bar with a bowl of cereal that it hits him.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I almost forgot!” Suddenly, he’s looking at Garnet with stars in his eyes. “I get to hang out with Ruby and Sapphire today!”

Amethyst starts snickering, and even Pearl has to smile at his expression of eager anticipation. “That’s right,” the latter says. “It is still a part of your plan, isn’t it Garnet?”

It had been a good reason, back before Steven had met Sapphire and Ruby. Not that the fifteen minutes he had spent with a panicked and frazzled Ruby, or the two he had spent with a Sapphire who only barely had the presence of mind to drag him along as she found and went back to fusing with Ruby, precisely counts as quality time. Still, though.

“Come on, Garnet.” Steven’s tone is pitched like he thinks he’s being persuasive. “You promised!”

She takes a breath from where she is, standing at the end of the breakfast bar with her arms casually looped together. He can’t see it from here, but her fingers are curled over the comforting warmth of Sapphire and Ruby’s gems in apprehension. “You’re right, I did,” she says. Nevertheless, she can’t stop herself from adding, “But only for an hour.”

There’s a good reason for the caveat, admittedly. Anything longer than that, and things have a much higher statistical probability of going to hell in a handbasket. Sapphire’s future vision is not quite as detailed as Garnet’s; being without it for much longer seems to tempt every corrupted gem monster from all over the globe to try their luck spreading chaos.

“Thank you, Garnet! Best birthday present ever!” Before she can reply, Steven has hopped out of his chair and rushed forward to hug her around the legs. He speaks much quieter, squeezing her with more strength than a human boy his age would ever possess. “I know what it means that you’re doing this.”

Garnet smiles as she hugs him back. It’s hard to regret splitting apart for an hour, when you get thanks like this. She can also see that Steven will be overjoyed to have her back when it’s all over, as well; while it wouldn’t have been hard to predict even without her future vision, it’s still nice to know.

“Amethyst, there’s something in the temple I want to show you,” Pearl says suddenly.

“What? No you don’t.”

“Amethyst,” says Pearl through gritted teeth. “Come with me into the temple.”

“Why should I—oh.” Amethyst’s disbelief and distaste fall away as she finally realizes what Pearl is trying to do. “Oh, yeah, I guess I needed to see that thing anyway,” she mutters. They leave, but not before Amethyst scarfs down the rest of the cake.

Well, that was completely dramatic and unnecessary.

“I feel like I should have seen that coming,” Steven remarks as he pulls away and gazes at the empty platter, only slightly forlorn. “It was a good cake, though.”

“Pearl can make you another one, if you really want it,” Garnet says.

“That’s okay, we can have fun without cake!” he exclaims, abruptly animated once more. There are stars in his young eyes again as he grins and watches Garnet like he expects something amazing to happen.

Oh, right. Unfusing. She’s supposed to be getting on that.

The moment their separate forms solidify, Ruby and Sapphire find themselves being dragged into a very tight embrace. “I’m so excited to see you guys again! We are going to have so much fun!”

“Getting a lot of hugs today,” mutters Ruby, spitting out a chunk of Sapphire’s hair that has somehow gotten in the way. Not that she’s complaining or anything, it’s just an observation.

“Steven’s taller than you now,” says Sapphire lightly, marking the height of Steven’s curly head and drawing an invisible line over to Ruby’s with one delicately gloved hand.

“What, I am?” asks Steven, clearly impressed. He almost literally jumps back, and tries to do the same thing. “Really?”

“Psh, no. That’s just your poofy hair, kid,” Ruby scoffs. There is no way she’s shorter than Steven, just none.

“It’s not,” Sapphire says. She stands them shoulder to shoulder before checking again. “I factored in hair height for both of you.”

“And now you’re rubbing it in,” Ruby growls, eyes narrowed. “Being the tallest short person isn’t something to brag about, you know.”

Sapphire laughs, and that douses the flames of Ruby’s annoyance somewhat. Hearing her partner’s laughter is one of the few advantages of unfusing, she supposes.

“Okay!” Steven says. His fists are clenched with zeal, and he’s practically bouncing up and down. “We don’t have much time, so what do you two like to do?”

Sapphire and Ruby exchange a look. What did they like to do?

“We, uh. We figured you already had a plan, Steven,” Sapphire says lamely.

“Yeah! If we only have an hour, we’re going to do what you like to do for a half hour, Sapphire, and then what Ruby likes to do for the other half hour! It’s the perfect plan.” And Steven nods, his arms akimbo. It is, in his young mind, the perfect plan indeed. He waits for one long, awkward minute, and then he all but pounces on Ruby. “So, what are your hobbies? Do you like board games, or do you want to play outside—ooh, maybe we could watch Crying Breakfast Friends or go to the Big Donut and visit Lars and Sadie…”

“Err.” Ruby takes a step back, flustered by the barrage, and shoots a somewhat frantic look at Sapphire. Help me. “I don’t—uh, I was thinking, um…” Becoming overwhelmed, she groans and clutches at her temples. “I don’t know!”

“Astronomy,” says Sapphire before Steven can either become concerned or insistent. “I like astronomy.”

Ruby instantly latches on, straightening up and letting her arms fall to her sides. “That’s right! We love astronomy.”

“No, I like astronomy.”

Ruby shoots her a sharp look. What are you trying to do to me?

Steven seems a little confused, but so far he’s rolling with it. “Well, astronomy’s great! We even have a telescope, but…” He glances at the window. “It’s morning right now, so I think star gazing it out of the question.” Ruby hides a grimace when his gaze turns to her again. “What do you like to do when the sun is out, Ruby?”

“Err… missions.” She’s a little dubious at first, but then she squares her shoulders and sniffs confidently. She makes a fist around her gem and hammers into her other palm. “Yes. I like punching stuff. It’s my favorite hobby!”

“It’s Garnet who likes punching stuff,” Sapphire says.

Ruby lets out a sound of aggravation and throws out one muscular red arm. “Well, you took astronomy! What else am I supposed to say?”

“Are… you two okay?” Steven is officially concerned and bemused now. “Is this too much?”

“No, no, Steven, it’s not that,” Sapphire soothes while simultaneously laying a hand on her partner’s shoulder. Ruby’s frazzled tension fades under her palm as she explains, “We’re happy to be here with you, honestly. But when we were on Homeworld—”

“Whoa, hey, no, no, no,” Ruby interjects, waving her hands as she abruptly steps out of shoulder-touching range. “It’s his birthday, and Homeworld already ruined our first plan. Does it have to ruin everything else, too?”

Sapphire just looks at her. Do you really think I’m going to go into that right now, of all times? Being unfused doesn’t feel right anymore, which is putting them both on edge, but how can Ruby think she would bring up something like that so offhandedly?

Ruby is remarkably adept at interpreting Sapphire’s Looks, blue bangs notwithstanding. This time is no different. Relief and apology briefly mix on her expressive face—okay, so I jumped to all the wrong conclusions. Sorry.

“Look, Steven, the long and the short of it is we don’t have any hobbies,” Ruby says point-blank. “Not—not like this, anyway.” She gestures to the gap between Sapphire and herself, but the empty space on her right palm distracts her. She stares at it for a beat before murmuring, “It’s weird enough just being alone.”

Sapphire makes a small noise of agreement. It’s good to know that she’s not the only one feeling this unbalanced. “What Ruby means is that we haven’t been separate on Earth long enough to develop any hobbies that are uniquely our own,” she tells Steven. “I know it sounds odd, but these forms don’t really feel like home anymore.”

Ruby snorts, her only acknowledgement of that massive understatement. Neither of them add that these personalities don’t feel right anymore, either, and at this point it’s all mostly muscle memory and conjecture. What they like, who are they as individuals—the truth is, they both forgot the answers to those questions a long time ago, and they never looked back.

“No, it makes sense,” Steven says, realization dawning on his young face. “Garnet told me that she often forgets who she used to be. You’ve been putting all of your effort into being Garnet for a really long time. You don’t like being separated. This isn’t you anymore. Do…” He looks between them, sincere and serious, their best interests clearly all over his face. “Do you just want to go back? I wouldn’t mind.”

“Hey, just because it’s weird for us doesn’t mean we don’t like spending time with you,” says Ruby.

“We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t want to, Steven,” adds Sapphire, just to drive the point home. She offers a smile, but it’s a bit on the crooked side. “You’re just going to have to bear with some of the quirks we never had a couple thousand years ago, that’s all.”

Steven is an easy sell, and he instantly perks up. “Well, alright! Since you don’t have any requests, we’ll just have to do a little bit of everything!”

If either of them thought that Steven was exaggerating, they certainly couldn’t say so forty-five minutes later. At this point Ruby is getting dizzy from the whiplash of so many rapid subject changes. Sapphire is faring a little better, due to her lifelong future vision problem, but even she was hard pressed to match Steven’s energy levels and brief attention span.

Human children, right?

“Hey, I know you have to fuse again pretty soon.” It’s funny how he hasn’t even questioned why Garnet said that. They gave him a time limit, and he happily acquiesced to functioning inside of it. “But can I ask you something?”

Spoke too soon.

Steven fiddles with the hand of cards he’s been playing with for their game of Kooky 7’s. “It’s… kind of personal.”

Ruby and Sapphire exchange a look. Is he curious about their experience on Homeworld? How Pearl keeps accidentally calling him Rose? How Amethyst looks and acts a lot like Jasper, and why is that anyway?

“Uh, sure,” Ruby says all the same. “What’s on your mind?”

Steven sets his cards down on the coffee table. “Have you ever—felt alone? While you’re Garnet, I mean.”

Sapphire exchanges another look with Ruby. They’re sitting next to each other, practically shoulder to shoulder. She presses her gem holding hand into her partner’s strong thigh as she wonders, “Steven, where is this coming from?”

“It’s just, when Connie and I were fused, it was great at first. Stevonnie was really taking Garnet’s advice—running and laughing all over.”

Sapphire can feel the sadness radiating from him. It’s like he thinks he’s failed them or something. She squeezes Ruby’s knee, and Ruby leans in until their shoulders are pressed together. “Uh-huh.”

“And then—we went to the Big Donut, right? And Stevonnie got two donuts, but… we were only one person. So then we went to this rave with all of the teens in town, and Sour Cream was DJ-ing! And dancing was fun, until people started staring. I don’t know if it was that Stevonnie was an unfamiliar face, or if we had done something wrong, but it just… it got really lonely, then. Really fast.” Steven looks down at his cards, and starts shuffling them, seemingly for something to do with his hands. “Connie’s one of my best friends, but as strange as it sounds, I think we would have felt closer if we had actually gone to that dance party separately. If we had done everything separately. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, and—is that weird? Is that normal, for anyone?”

“Well,” Sapphire starts, though she doesn’t have the faintest clue of where to go from there. She’s out of her depth, here. Steven is expecting introspective personal answers from two beings who don’t even remember themselves anymore. But how do you explain that?

“I think it’s normal for humans,” Ruby says, though as she speaks she seeks the comfort of intertwining her stocky red fingers with Sapphire’s. Talking about fusion like this is only reminding them that they’re not as close as they prefer being. Holding hands is a poor substitute, but at least it’s something. “You can’t fuse in the same way gems can, and even if you could, it’s a cultural quirk to pride yourself on your separateness regardless. Humans enjoy having two different perspectives on the same event, and then comparing notes later. If you have exactly the same perspective, then how are you supposed to talk about it? It seems to me that that’s what’s going on.”

Stars above, she’s right.

“Fusing for something other than tactical, life-or-death reasons isn’t for everyone, even amongst gemkind,” Sapphire says. “It wasn’t for us at first, either.”

“Assuming we could have figured it out earlier,” Ruby mutters.

Sapphire hits Ruby’s shoulder with her own, because the fact that they discovered fusion is not really the point she’s trying to make here.

“It’s not weird, Steven,” Sapphire says with a reassuring smile. “It just means a part of you is human, but you already knew that.”

Steven smiles, even laughs a little. “Yeah.”

“To answer your question, though,” Ruby adds, in the interest of fairness. “No. We don’t get lonely while we’re Garnet. Honestly, it’s probably lonelier not to be her. Even this,” she holds up their interconnected hands, their arms bumping comfortably together with the movement. “Is pretty far away, for us.”

Sapphire lets out a hum of agreement, but then notices Steven’s expression and tries to clarify as their hands fall back onto Ruby’s thigh. “Up until the last fifty years, it had been well over a thousand years since the last time Garnet unfused. It tends to change your perspective on what it means to be close to someone.”

Naturally, Ruby snorts at the understatement.

“Did that help, a little?”

“Yes.” Suddenly they’re being hugged again, and fiercely. Garnet picked up on it earlier, but in these bodies it’s much more obvious that Steven is a lot stronger than he looks. “Thanks for spending so much time with me. This was an awesome birthday!”

They both smile as they return the embrace. No wonder Garnet thinks of this wonderful, affectionate child as a son.

“We love you, Steven,” Sapphire says as the group hug ends. “Always have, always will.”

“Yeah, don’t you forget it,” Ruby says, pointing in mock-sternness.

Steven laughs and grins as he promises, “Never.”