Your Strength

Jensen found Jared’s mouth in the darkness—they were in Jared’s bed, and it was probably around four in the morning. It was a rare moment where Jared woke Jensen as he groped his way clumsily on his way to the bathroom. Jensen wasn’t annoyed, but rather smiled at the tall, clumsy man as he slipped back into bed. When Jared was prostrate, Jensen leaned over him and allowed his drowsy desire to play through his slow kiss.

They had both been so into each other when they got home earlier that day—around midnight, after an extremely long day of filming. Jensen didn’t have to stay for all of it, but he chose to, mostly because he’d gotten used to Jared joining him at his house afterwards, or he joining Jared in his own. It was the second month of shooting, and it was slow going. Jensen loved Felicia, he really did. But to say she was anal retentive was an extreme understatement. He began seriously reconsidering his comments whenever Felicia asked him, because any time he disagreed slightly, she’d completely restart everything and begin overanalyzing every little detail until she thought she understood where Jensen was coming from. It was heartfelt, and Jensen knew that Felicia was great at her job—she was an Oscar winner as well, along with many other prestigious awards. He just simply thought he not add to her insanity.

When they had come in, they had foregone a quickie microwave meal in favor of Jensen practically dragging Jared into his bedroom. They were in the process of ripping each other’s clothes off when there was a knock at Jared’s door.

“They’ll go away,” Jared murmured into Jensen’s mouth hopefully.

Jensen nodded, running his hands along Jared’s back, unfortunately still covered by his shirt. However, after a few minutes, the knocking began again, insistently.

“Maybe you should get it,” Jensen murmured.

“I really shouldn’t,” Jared whined. “Besides, it’s not polite to answer the door with a hard on.”

After another moment, they heard a voice outside the front door to accompany the knocking. “Jaaarrred!” It was Chad’s voice and both Jensen and Jared groaned.

“Okay, now you definitely have to get it,” Jensen told him. “We know for a fact that he won’t go away until you force him to.”

“I hate Chad,” Jared growled against Jensen’s cheek before shoving himself off the older man and angrily stalking out of the room.

As Jensen laid there, listening to Jared try to expel Chad, he tried his hardest not to fall asleep—he really did. But when he woke up four hours later as Jared went to pee, he knew he had failed.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep,” Jensen murmured to Jared. Jared chuckled tiredly.

“It’s no problem, babe,” Jared replied, sighing. “I ended up talking to him, trying to get him to leave, for about forty-five minutes.”

“Oh my God,” Jensen laughed softly. “Fucking Chad.”

“You’re telling me,” Jared replied. “I mean, it was a sweet gesture. He just wanted to touch base with me since we haven’t really seen the gang since we both started shooting. It’s a nice thought, but he also didn’t know that I was about to have sex with my boyfriend.”

“Mmm,” Jensen smiled at Jared. “What a shame that is, being cock blocked by your bestie.”

“Not the first time, probably won’t be the last,” Jared smiled. “But you seem certainly willing to make up for Chad’s idiocy now, or am I reading the signals wrong?”

“Oh, you’re never wrong,” Jensen replied, pressing his mouth down to Jared’s again.

“Oh, just remember that you said that,” Jared laughed when they broke apart to resume their earlier mission of tearing each other’s clothes off.

“I’ll most certainly regret it,” Jensen agreed, grinning. He pulled off Jared’s t-shirt. They had made it adequately far with Jensen earlier, Jared having accomplished removing his jeans. Now, Jared must’ve taken his pants off when he had come back and found Jensen asleep, because after Jensen had removed the shirt, he was just in his boxers. Both in their underwear, they grinned at each other for a moment, Jensen atop Jared, both their erections pressing tantalizingly together.

“You’re amazing, did you know that?” Jensen asked him, kissing him for a long moment before starting to peck kisses along his jaw.

“You’re…admirable,” Jared replied and Jensen pulled back to stare at him with an amused smile.

“Admirable? Wow, you really couldn’t think of any better compliment? You’re amazing and I’m admirable?” Jensen laughed.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Jared laughed. “Do you have any suggestions?”

“How about, nice? Or at least cute?” Jensen laughed, and then frowned, looking away. “Sorry,” he added on, blushing.

“Why apologize? You’re both those things,” Jared told him, cupping his cheeks in his hands and kissing him multiple times before continuing. “You’re also funny, kind, gorgeous, fucking brilliant. And admirable. And much more.”

Jensen couldn’t help but stare in a tiny bit of astonishment at Jared. He liked to think he was healed from the effect Charlie had on him…but he also wasn’t quite used to hearing these kinds of things from a man he…

Jensen shook his head, finally allowing a smile and blushing. “You’re so sappy,” he finally commented, kissing him fervently once more while reaching into the bedside table to grab the necessary accessories. Once he had the condom and lube out, he leaned in to whisper into Jensen’s ear.

“How do you want to do this, you sappy giant?”

“Wow, real good at the pillow talk, babe,” Jared chuckled softly. “And I want you to fuck me. Slow.”

Jensen groaned his agreement, yanking down his boxers and tossing them onto the floor before slowly sliding down to pull down Jared’s, bringing the lube with him. Jensen slicked his finger generously before beginning to finger Jared open, while simultaneously licking up the shaft of his cock. Jensen was pleased to feel Jared immediately arch a bit, and moan in pleasure.

“Dear fucking lord,” Jared sighed heavily. “Jensen…you’re…stupendous.”

Jensen tried not to laugh at his choice of vocabulary as he slid one finger into Jared. Jared arched again and moaned. “Knock knock,” he moaned out and Jensen pulled his mouth away from the head of Jared’s cock.

“We agreed to save knock knock jokes until after sex,” Jensen admonished, returning to his work.

“Fine, I hope I remember,” Jared replied breathily.

Jensen had opened Jared up shortly after this, knowing him well enough to know just how to do it, quickly and pleasurably. Jensen rolled the condom onto his own dick and positioned himself, pushing in slowly. He leaned in as he rocked against Jared, repositioning until he knew he would hit Jared’s prostate on every thrust. He liked that he knew Jared like this. They’d only been together for a little over two months, but with Jared it was different. It was good. It was better than anything he’d ever experienced. It was…dare he say—perfect. And Jensen was still waiting for something to go wrong, but he had given up being tense about it. He was nicely relaxed into their relationship. The longest amount of time they had been away from each other since they’d started dating was three days where they both flew to Texas for Christmas. Felicia had offered everyone more time off for Christmas, but everyone agreed that if they put off filming for more than three days, they would be horribly behind schedule, which would make Felicia even crazier. Other than that Jared and Jensen went to work, they had fun, they hung out, they practically low-key lived together, and they had great sex.

Jensen had been slowly rocking into Jared and Jared was writhing against him. “Oh, God Jensen, go faster!” he pleaded.

“You…you wanted…slow…” Jensen breathed out, eyes closed, head thrown back.

“I fucking changed my mind,” Jared growled, gripping Jensen’s hips tightly, making him look down at Jared. “Fucking pound me, Jensen.”

Jensen leaned into him and tugged on his lip a little before he nodded. “Whatever you want, gorgeous.”

Jensen picked up the tempo, thrusting into Jared making him moan louder and louder. When he could feel Jared was getting close, he began to tug on Jared’s cock, timing his quick motions with his thrusts until Jared came over his hand, his asshole tightening around Jensen’s cock, shoving Jensen over the edge as well.

Jensen slowly fell off of Jared, landing next to him. He slid the condom off and threw it into the trashcan. Jared leaned down to grab a shirt—which happened to be Jensen’s—to wipe clean his stomach and Jensen’s hand. After he had discarded the shirt, he threw his arm over Jensen and snuggled his head into Jensen’s neck. Jensen rolled his eyes but smiled.

“Alright, so knock knock,” Jared tried again.

Jensen stifled the sigh, knowing it was pointless. “Who’s there?”

“Nana.”

“Nana who?”

“Nana your business,” Jared finished and Jensen snorted.

“That was terrible,” Jensen replied honestly.

“I know,” Jared laughed. “That’s what makes it awesome.”

“Whatever you say, dork,” Jensen replied, turning into Jared a little more. “We should probably go to sleep, we have to be on set tomorrow at nine.”

“Agreed,” Jared replied.

The next morning, on the drive to set, Jensen noticed that Jared was unceremoniously quiet. Jensen wasn’t particularly vocal in the morning, but Jared never let that stop him from having a conversation with him. Granted, it was mostly a one-sided conversation, where Jensen pleasantly listened and made small comments.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah…I was just…uh…I mean,” Jared took a long breath and then let it out, falling back into normal speech. “I was just thinking that I really am not attached to my apartment.”

“What?” Jensen asked, not understanding.

“I mean…I was just putting that out there,” Jared said. “We spend so much time at my place, when you have this amazing house that’s going practically unused. We should spend more nights at your house.”

“Okay, we can,” Jensen replied, frowning slightly. “The only reason we usually end up at your place is because it’s slightly closer, and you have the dogs.”

“Yeah, that’s true about the dogs,” Jared agreed. “I mean, the dogs would love your house too, if they ever saw it…or had conscious knowledge of the different aspects of what makes houses better than others.”

“Is this your way of telling me you want Harley and Sadie to visit my house?” Jensen inquired.

“Yes…?” Jared slowly agreed.

“That’s fine, they can come over,” Jensen laughed. “Of course they can, you know I love those fur balls. How about we go get them tonight, then head over, and you can stay at my place for the weekend. That is…if you want?”

Jared flashed a grin at Jensen. “Yes, I would love that!”

“Alright, then it’s a plan,” Jensen laughed. “Hopefully we get out of shooting early today.”

“Well, how about, if we run late, I’ll give you my keys and you can go grab the dogs, and I’ll just get a cab?” Jared suggested.

“Alright, but only if we run late,” Jensen nodded.

That night, they did run late. Jensen ducked out at nine that night, grabbed the dogs in Jared’s car, and headed over to his house. He let the dogs roam around, opening the back door so they could go around the house and into the yard as it pleased them. He glanced in his fridge and decided he’d whip up a meal for whenever Jared turned up.

He had just finished barbequing ribs when he heard the front door open. He glanced at the clock and saw it was just after ten.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jared called, and the dogs ran from Jensen’s side to their owner coming in the door.

“Hey, weirdo, in the kitchen!” Jensen called back.

Jared came in and pecked Jensen on the cheek before staring longingly at the ribs. “You’re my favorite.”

“You mean ribs are my favorite?” Jensen laughed.

“Sure, my favorite food—or one of,” Jared rolled his eyes, before pulling Jensen against him, kissing him again. “But you’re my favorite.”

“Favorite what?” Jensen asked.

“Favorite everything,” Jared replied, seriously. He kissed Jensen for a few long moments before pulling away and grinning. “Now, can we eat your ribs? Because I’m so starving and those smell delicious.”

After dinner, they went out back with beers and sat on the patio, the dogs lying in between them.

“This is nice,” Jensen commented at length. “I’m glad Harley and Sadie actually have a place to play. Poor babies cooped up in that tiny apartment.”

“A) It’s not that tiny, and I take them on runs every morning! And B) I’ve already said that I’m not very attached to that apartment,” Jared started. “I was thinking…I mean, I’m not on a lease or anything…I was thinking I might start looking for a new place. Somewhere with an actual yard like this one. I’m probably going to wait until after we’ve wrapped, though.”

Jensen was quiet for a long moment before blurting, “I’m not good at timelines.”

“What?” Jared laughed.

“I mean…I understand you getting a new place…with a yard...and that sounds like my place…and I kind of want to…suggest that,” Jensen took a long shaky breath. “But I’m not good at timelines. Too soon?”

“You know, there’s not an actual set guidelines of when it’s acceptable to do these things,” Jared told Jensen, smiling. “It depends on comfort, not an actual set amount of time.”

“Yeah…so…” Jensen fiddled with his beer label.

“So you’re officially asking me if I want to move in with you?” Jared asked and Jensen knew without looking that he was grinning.

“Yeah…I mean, we’ve only been dating for two months so I get if it’s too fast…” Jensen acknowledged.

“I would love to move in with you, Jensen Ackles,” Jared grinned. “But why not move into my place?”

Jensen looked at him sharply, rolling his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the grin. “Shut up,” he said, laughing.

“So we’re doing this?” Jared asked.

Jensen was quiet for a long moment, waiting for the panic to set in. When it didn’t, he smiled. “Yes,” he told Jared, standing and sitting on Jared’s lap. “I mean, this may be my downfall. You may live with me and decide you can’t stand me. Then you’re out a place to live.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Jared laughed, kissing Jensen. “I know that’s not going to happen. You know why?”

“Why?” Jensen grinned.

“Because you make kick ass ribs and like my dogs,” Jared replied. “That’s it, that’s all I need in a man.”

“Wow, you’re easy,” Jensen laughed.

“Only for you, baby,” Jared replied, leaning in to kiss him again.

Jensen laughed and dragged Jared up to the bedroom to christen their new relationship landmark.

The next few weeks fell by in a rush for Jensen. Jared moved in relatively quickly, and he got many an angry text and email from Chad, complaining about how he was stealing Jared all for himself. He always sent very agreeing responses to Chad, which Jared finally stopped him from doing after the fourth because Chad kept calling Jared frantically. They worked together in the household as easily as Jensen thought they would. The only real argument they had was over where to put the water bowl for the dogs: Jensen hated it in the kitchen because they drooled, but Jared argued that it needed to be near the food, otherwise they’d get dehydrated. They compromised by moving the food too. Jared didn’t like that Jensen squeezed his toothpaste from the middle, but Jensen knew that he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

But in many ways, living with Jared was amazing. He was thoughtful, and loving. Every morning, because Jared got up early to go jogging, Jared would make Jensen coffee, and pop in a bagel into the toaster, without heating it up, so all Jensen had to do was push down the tab and slather some cream cheese on it once it popped up. And Jensen thought Jared was relatively happy just by the fact that Jensen made a home-cooked meal almost every night for him, and let him feed as much of it as he wanted to Harley and Sadie. Jensen even began making slightly bigger portions because he knew that Jared would at least give some of it to the dogs.

The only thing he kind of missed was the bar. With filming and moving, they hadn’t made it to the bar in a few weeks. He missed his friends, and he knew Jared did too. So one Friday morning, Jensen approached Felicia.

“Felicia, you’re amazing,” Jensen began and Felicia grinned at him.

“What do you want, Ackles?” she grinned at him.

“Okay, look, we’ve been working long hours every day this week, and we’re pretty ahead of schedule,” Jensen smiled at her a little bashfully. “And…I just wanted to know if we could wrap early today?”

“Well, that all depends on the shoot,” Felicia responded diplomatically. “What time were you hoping for?”

“Around seven?” Jensen asked hopefully. “Jared and I…We haven’t been to our friends bar, and they think you’ve kidnapped us. You and Gen could come with us?”

“You know, I could string you along longer, but we actually do have work to do, so let me tell you,” Felicia laughed. “I was going to announce this earlier, but I have to be out of here by six because Gen and I are driving up to visit her parents. So you get your early out. It’s too bad, though, because had you saved your request for another day, I probably would’ve granted it. You just wasted it, Jensen, darling.”

“Damn! Such bad timing! Had I only been patient,” Jensen laughed. “Typical. Well, thanks anyway. It really is too bad that you and Gen can’t come.”

Misha approached them as they spoke, waiting patiently for his turn.

“It is, it was fun that time we came,” Felicia grinned, glancing at Misha. “Misha enjoyed it too, especially meeting your friends. He particularly liked…oh what was the loud one’s name?”

“Chad,” Jensen laughed, eyes lighting up. “He claims to be straight, but Misha, when I say straight, I mean at the very least bi-closeted, and if anyone can bring him out of that closet, it’s you. Jared and I are heading to the bar tonight, do you want to come too?”

Misha thought for a moment, then grinned. “Alright, I’ll see what my second impression of Chad is, and may accept that challenge.”

Jensen laughed. “All the luck to you.”

“Great,” Misha grinned. “Do you mind if I ask Mark along? His wife is out of town, and it depresses me to think of him sitting alone at his big ‘ol house thinking about being disgustingly rich and whatnot.”

“Yeah, that is fine,” Jensen agreed. “It’ll be a great night out. And we’ll definitely miss you, Felicia!”

“Yeah, believe it or not, we actually like you outside of work,” Misha told her, making her laugh as she hit his arm.

“Alright, enough small talk, we’ve got work to do!” she announced dismissing everyone.

Jensen found Jared in his trailer where he knew he’d be.

“Hey, want to go to the bar after work today?” Jensen asked. “Misha and Mark are on board, and we’re guaranteed an early out.”

Jared grinned. “Yes, finally! I haven’t seen Chad in forever, he’s probably having a mental breakdown of some sort.”

“Without a doubt,” Jensen agreed. “He assures me that it is not easy not having you in the same building. He texts me once a day.”

“He’s a real piece of work, that’s for sure,” Jared laughed.

“I think Misha has a small crush on him,” Jensen commented, walking over and sitting on Jared’s small table. “I told him he was theoretically straight, but if anyone could out him, it’d definitely be Mr. Pretty Blue Eyes.”

“Mr. Pretty Blue Eyes? Should I be jealous of Misha?” Jared laughed.

“Only with Chad,” Jensen retorted. “He might fall out of love with you if he got with Misha.”

“Impossible,” Jared shook his head.

“Yeah, you’re right, what was I thinking?” Jensen allowed.

“This will be very interesting,” Jared smiled. “It will be an exciting night.”