Harper
As the weeks go by, it almost become routine for Ali and Ashlyn. They see each other on Thursdays and that is it. Thursdays are meant for counseling and then they spend the next week upset or angry with the other for things that happened during that singular hour.
On this particular Thursday Ashlyn waiting to go into Dr. Evans office, it was five minutes until their appointment and no sign of Ali. A few minutes pass by and Dr. Evans comes out of her office looking down at a piece of paper, "Are yall ready?" She says without looking up.
"Uh..Ali isn't here yet doc. Should get started without her? Or wait a few minutes? Today is kind of an important day.." Ashlyn says looking around, willing Ali to show up.
As if the gods heard her, Ali comes busting through the door, "Sorry, sorry. I just had the worst morning and the traffic was terrible. Am I late? Of course I am, it's been that kind of day.." Ali rambles on not really speaking to anyone.
Ashlyn makes her way over to Ali and places a comforting hand on her upper arm, "Hey, Al, calm down. Dr. Evans just came out here. You're not late, come on. Let's go in.." Ashlyn says moving her hand from Ali's arm to her back, guiding her into the office.
Once everyone is situated, Dr. Evan on a chair facing Ali and Ashlyn who are on a couch, Dr. Evans begins talking, "So, Ashlyn mentioned today is important...? Do yall want to talk about that?"
Ashlyn glances at Ali, who begins to tear up. Ashlyn grabs her hand, holding it tightly between both of hers. "Today is the 2 year anniversary of the day we lost our little girl, Harper." Ali says, trying to hold herself together.
6 Years Ago (September 2017)
The girls had just come back from Rio after winning gold at the Olympic games. It was their one year wedding anniversary and the blonde had planned a special evening for her wife.
Ali had just come in from doing a local TV spot, and came into their house exhausted, "I don't know how you do that drive every week. It is not fun!!" The brunette lamented as she dropped her purse by the front door.
"Aw, come on babe, it's not that bad!! And I'm usually not doing it at rush hour, so it only takes like forty-five minutes, not two hours." Ashlyn says with raised eyebrows, looking down at her watch.
Ashlyn walks over to her wife and wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her in, "Well you can be as exhausted as you want tonight, but tomorrow I'm going to need you to be on you’re A game, because we have some pretty important things to do.." She says wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
Ali pulls back and playfully slaps Ashlyn on her chest, "Stahhhp it!!!" She says blushing and burying her face in the blondes neck.
The blonde steps back, feigning hurt, "Oh what? Now you don’t want to have my baby? I'm hurt!" Ashlyn says walking over to sit on the couch.
Ali looks at her in mock shock, and walks over to her. She sits next to her wife and places a hand on her face, cupping her cheek, "Babe, you know that’s not it. I want nothing more than to have little you's and little me's running around!!" She moves to straddle her wife, placing a leg on either side of Ashlyn's. Leaning down she captures her wife's lips.
Ashlyn picks her wife up resulting in a squeal from Ali, "Well, I think we might need a little practice before we do the real thing tomorrow.." The blonde says kissing her wife, bringing them into their bedroom.
"We had planned to get pregnant late summer/early fall of 2017, but I guess the universe had other plans for us", the blonde says still holding her wife's hand.
Ali looks over at Ashlyn smiling, "We tried and tried and tried." She says chuckling. "We did everything we could possibly think of to have a pregnancy take, but it just didn’t work. We had a couple of false positives, but nothing for three years." The brunette says, trailing off towards the end.
"We had found the perfect donor, he had features that resembled each of us. He had light eyes, dark hair, olive skin, dimples. He really seemed like the perfect guy." The blonde says, taking her hand back from holding Ali's, slowing drawing it into her own lap, wringing her hands together. "We knew that eventually he would be over willing to help us, that he would want to start his own family and not be a carefree twenty something anymore." Ashlyn finishes, feeling Ali place her hand on her thigh, squeezing lightly.
"Three years of trying was nerve racking, it strained us, but we kept our hopes up because how could we not have a baby? We agreed on implanting one of Ash's eggs in me to align with my ovulation so that we wouldn’t know whose baby it really was. We would love them just the same no matter what. We knew that maybe it just wasn’t the right time. I quit playing soccer and got a job at an advertisement firm, finally putting that college degree to use.. " Ali says, lightly laughing at the memory of being 34 and starting a new career with a bunch of 22 year olds.
"God that was awful!" The brunette says, full on laughing now. "They were just kids!!"
The blonde looks over at her wife, laughing along with her at the memory, "Ali would come home every evening from work and tell me about the woes of being a twenty something in today's society, and I always had to remind her that she wasn’t a twenty something!! She always had stories from the day that simply amazed me. It may have been something she did that amazed me or something one of her coworkers did that was simply idiotic that amazed me." She says laughing. "One day, she came home and she was telling me how one of her coworkers came in wearing all pink, which knowing princess over here she was secretly jealous, but turns out they didn’t know how to do laundry and didn’t know sorting colors was a thing!!"
Ali looks over at her wife, with a sudden serious face, "That was the best day of my life. I remember being so tired and getting home late. You were so annoyed that I was late for dinner, but then I told you that story and you began to ease up on me. Then I told you that it must have been a sign or something because I had gone to the doctor that day." She says with a smirk on her face, "When I told you that you got even more mad! I remember you started saying that I should have told you I was sick and all those things. Then I told you that I wasn’t sick, I was pregnant!" The brunette says with a tear running down her face.
"I didn’t want to tell you until knew for sure. I had gone to the doctor that day and he confirmed what I thought. I was pregnant! We didn’t know it was a girl at that point, but I had a good feeling it would be. I just knew, she felt like a girl." Ali says squeeze Ashlyn's thigh even harder.
Ashlyn places her hand over her wife's and continues, "It was our final try. It was the last...sample..we had from our donor. Nine months later, our little girl was born. Harper was born on April 14, 2021." She says smiling, although the smile did reach her eyes.
Dr. Evans takes in all what the women have said, jotting down a few notes. "Ok, well I think we discussed a good bit today. Our time is almost up, do you want to go back and talk about anything?" Both women shake their head. "Given the meaning of today, I hope you both have a good afternoon."
"Thanks doc" the blonde states as she gets up off the couch.
"Thank you" Ali says, following her wife out of the room.
When they reach the parking lot, they both head towards Ali's car. "Uh, Ash, your car is over there." She says pointing to her jeep across the parking lot.
Ashlyn is looking down, her hands in her pockets. She is bouncing from the balls of her feet to her heals. "Will you go somewhere with me?" She says, looking like she was asking Ali on a first date.
Ali looks down at her phone, checking her calendar, "Uh, yeah, I have some time. Where do you want to go?" The brunette says, but it goes unanswered as the blonde starts towards her car, leaving the brunette to follow.
Ashlyn drives them down the winding roads of the suburbs of Orlando, neither of them saying anything until they finally arrive at a very familiar location.
Reaching her hand across the center console, grabbing Ashlyns forearm, "Ash, I don’t want to be here."
The blonde gets out of her car, coming around to open Ali's door, "Please? I just want to be a family today." She says extending a hand.
Ali takes her hand, tears welling up in her eyes. The walk through the picturesque cemetery until they reach a small tombstone, covered in angels and cherubim. Ashlyn takes the bouquet of sunflowers and places them on the grave labeled:
Harper Krieger-Harris
April 14, 2021-August 17, 2021
Beloved daughter and granddaughter
Ashlyn kneels down, sitting back on her feet, "Hey baby, it's mama" the blonde begins.
Ali loses control of the emotions she's tried to keep in check. Falling to her knees behind the blonde, putting her face on her wife's back, soaking her shirt with tears, whispering, "I miss you both so much".