Southbound feelings
Ali looked up to see Ashlyn close her door and gave a faint smile. She made her way out of the parking lot, down the road and to the highway. She turned her car south and headed to Miami to stay at her mom’s house. She only made it one exit on the highway before she had to exit. She pulled into a diner parking lot and cut the engine on her car.
Tears are burning down the brunette’s face, mascara running along with it. Ali feels like she can’t breathe. She sits there, taking short, quick breathes. Gripping the steering wheel tight, knuckles turning white. She opens her car door, swinging her legs out and putting her head between her legs. She tries to calm her breathing but something else hits. Nausea. Ali spreads her legs wider and empties the contents of her stomach onto the gravel surface.
Groaning, she leans into her car to look for a napkin or something to wipe her mouth.
“Excuse me, ma’am? Are you alright?” A voice startles Ali and makes her whip her head back to the door, hitting her head on the doorframe on the way.
Clutching her forehead, Ali squints up to the woman who startled her, “I’ll be fine. I’m just having a rough day.” She adds a dazzling smile to bring her point home.
“Alright, well, my name is Marla and I work here,” she points to the diner. “If you’d like, you’re more than welcome to come in and clean up a bit. If not, here..” Marla says handing Ali a stack of napkins.
“Thanks, Marla. I think I’ll take you up on that offer, but I’ll keep these just in case.” Ali says clutching the napkins, putting them in her glove box before stepping carefully out of the car.
Ali followed Marla into the diner, “Bathroom’s that way” Marla said pointing to the back of the restaurant.
“Thanks” Ali said appreciatively, making her way to the bathroom.
Once Ali got into the bathroom, she locked the door and leans back against it. She let out three shaky breaths before she pushes herself off the door and made her way over to the sink. Looking down, she turns on the faucet. She is still so shaken up and unnerved from the day, she holds onto the sink for support. She looks at herself in the mirror and barely recognized herself. Her hair and makeup are a mess, her eyes are red and puffy, and she is very pale. The once tanned, happy girl she knew was gone and she looks like a ghost of her former self.
The sound of the running water pulls her from her thoughts. She cups her hands and splashes some cool water on her face. She hovers over the sink, letting the water wash over her and drip from her nose and chin. She cups her hands again bringing them up slower to her lips this time. She lets the water invade her mouth; she tilts her head back and swishes the water around. She leans back over the sink and spits the water out. She repeats this two more times before reaching over and grabbing some paper towels and blots her face dry.
Ali makes her way out of the bathroom, rounding the counter of the diner. She sees Marla behind the counter wiping it down.
“Feeling better, hun?” Marla asks.
“Yeah, a little. I just don’t know what to do…” Ali says, the last part a bit louder than she intended.
Marla quit wiping the counter and walks over to Ali, “Have a seat, you want water or a ginger ale? Something to help settle you stomach?”
“Uh, yeah, a ginger ale would be nice” Ali says taking a seat at the nearest barstool.
Marla nods her head once and turns her back, filling a glass with the drink. When she turns back around she notices Ali is crying again. This time the crying isn’t ragged and wrenching, but very calm. Tears just streaming down the brunette’s cheek, Ali not even caring that they’re there.
Marla slides the glass over to Ali and leans forward on the counter, “What ever could have a beauty like you so distraught?”
“My wife and I, we uh, we’re having trouble right now.” Ali says, not missing the slight smile that graces the face of the woman behind the counter. “Yeah, wife…”
“Honey that’s fine by me. I’ve been with the same old lady for 40 years now. We finally got legally married 5 years ago. You should have seen my 90-year-old dad walking me down the isle. Crying like a baby!” Marla says beaming.
Ali smiles a real smile for the first time in a long time. She thinks about all the memories Marla must have. How she and Ashlyn could have those same memories. Of all the possibilities that are still ahead of them.
“Do you want to talk about it, hun?” Marla says sliding a piece of apple pie over to Ali. Ali picks up her fork not even realizing she’s hungry.
“We’ve been having trouble ever since we moved here 8 years ago. We are both professional soccer players. I picked her up from the airport in DC one day. I had just had a great weekend with my family and knew she had a tough one. It was a playoff game for our club team and I couldn’t make it because my dad was getting remarried. I was going to tell her I was offered a really great contract to play in Germany again. I had talked to them and told them that if I was going to go they needed to offer Ashlyn something too. We both played abroad in the past and absolutely loved it. We loved the anonymity of it all.” Ali stops for a moment to compose herself, taking a sip of her drink. “When I picked her up at the airport she told me she wanted to come play here, for the new Orlando team. Before I got a chance to tell her about my offer, she told me that she already accepted the spot. She had said she wanted me to come with her.” Ali wipes the tears still streaking down her face. The back of her sleeve soaked through.
“Honey…” Marla starts.
“No, let me finish. I need to tell someone this. I haven’t talked about it at all. Which is funny because I insisted that Ashlyn and I go to therapy. Which is where I’m coming from today, and she did all the talking. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk.” Ali says wiping her nose. “When she told me she already accepted a spot here I couldn’t believe she would make that big of a decision without talking to me. I was furious, but I was still in love with her so much. Of course I would follow her. The only problem was that Orlando had their allotment of defenders. So there was really no spot for me here.”
Ali twists her wedding band around her finger, smiling slightly at the memories it held. It had become her nervous tick over the past 7 years. Whenever she touched it, it made her feel closer to Ashlyn, even if they were oceans apart. “That night, after we were both exhausted from fighting, she came into our bedroom and grabbed her pillow to go sleep on the couch. Before she left the room though I grabbed her hand and asked her to marry me.” Ali says a bit more animated than she had been prior. “I think I really shocked her because I think she always thought she would be the one to propose.” She finishes chuckling lightly.
“She’s more in charge out of the two of you?” Marla asks laughing along.
“Oh no! I’m definitely in charge, but she’s just very chivalrous. She always makes me feel like a princess.” Ali says with sass back in her voice.
“Good girl” Marla says high fiving Ali.
There is a lull in their conversation, and after a few minutes Ali speaks up again, no emotion on her face, “Anyway, I followed her here. But it meant me giving up playing soccer.”